Rocket Scientist

I am a rocket scientist. Really. I have all the degrees and the high IQ to prove it.

But it wouldn't have taken a rocket scientist to figure out that my bride-to-be had been cheating during our engagement. It's just that I refused to let myself believe that Darla would be unfaithful. And that refusal led me to this moment. I was standing in front of Billy and Emmy, getting ready to go home brokenhearted and alone.

"I still can't believe Darla betrayed you," Emmy said for the tenth time. We were in the lobby of one of the best hotels in the Caribbean, waiting for the limo that would take me to the airport. At my request, my best man and his girlfriend had met me in the lobby to see me off. My wedding reception had taken place in this very hotel only last night. I was supposed to be starting a two week honeymoon in paradise. Instead I was departing for home, all by myself.

"You didn't deserve what she did to you," Billy said in sympathy. I'd known him for years. He was an administrator for Stilman Aeronautics where I supervised the engineers who designed and tested the rockets.

Billy was a good looking guy, but Emmy was spectacular. She had the complete package - a gorgeous face, beautiful blonde hair flowing down to her ass, and a firm, curvy, heart-stopping body. Emmy wore two kinds of clothes - tight and skimpy, and skimpy and tight. When she moved, men stared. It was that simple.

But Emmy was dumb as a post. She flunked out of high school. Now she worked in the Stilman cafeteria serving mashed potatoes to the world's brightest minds. Everyone knew Emmy. She had no problem attracting boyfriends. But it always ended the same. They screwed her, got bored with her, cheated on her, then dumped her. She was just too dim for these super-brains to respect. The sad thing was, Emmy was as faithful as they came. "Cheating" wasn't in her limited vocabulary. Emmy had a heart of gold. And she just kept trusting. Now it was Billy's turn.

I thought of my own cheater. Darla's behavior had made me apprehensive as our wedding approached. There were the hard-to-explain absences, the phone calls that suddenly ended when I entered the room, the girlfriends she went out with who I somehow never met. But I trusted her. We had decided to save sex for our wedding night, so I attributed my suspicions to being sexually on edge. After all, I was around Darla a lot, and she made my rocket rumble. She was my complete package, a scientist's brain in a nice body. Her body wasn't in Emmy's league, but you can't have everything.

When Darla disappeared in the middle our huge wedding reception, I told myself to stay calm. She was in the restroom. Or she was outside getting some air with her girlfriends. But I started searching.

I found her in a giant storage room, on her back, with her gown pushed up, and her lover between her legs. I couldn't see their faces and they were too busy to notice me. But she noticed me when she returned to the reception and I told her we were finished. She begged and pleaded but I got an annulment the next morning. And now I was about to fly home.

"I still can't believe Darla betrayed you," Emmy said for the eleventh time. Her eyes teared up as she gazed at me with pity. "What are you going to do now?"

"I have a plan," I said. "I'm going to expose Darla's lover."

"I thought you didn't see his face," Billy said.

"I didn't." But I could tell who he was.

All of us super-brains at Stilman have our own portable computers. Company policy requires us to keep them close at all times. They've become status symbols. Mine was in my hand when I discovered Darla in flagrante delicto.

I said to Billy, "When I found those two cheaters, I snuck Darla's phone out of her purse, and hid it in his computer bag." I held up my own phone and pushed a button. "Someone is about to find it."

When Billy's bag started ringing Emmy's hot tears began to fall. Billy was beginning to stutter as I turned to her and said, "Emmy, I knew who it was, but I had to prove it to you. We're both tired of cheaters. I bought two tickets for the return flight. Run up to your room and pack. We'll get married as soon as we get home." Emmy's sad waterworks turned to tears of joy. She laid a monster kiss on me that melted my brain, then ran for the elevator. I could watch that kind of flight all day long.

She soon returned, giving me an even better lesson in practical dynamics. I just grinned. Maybe Emmy wasn't the brightest bulb. But you can't have everything.

Then I had to chuckle. When I discovered the cheaters, it only took me two seconds to formulate this plan, right down to Emmy's delicious round trip across the lobby. After all, I am a rocket scientist.