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The Heart's Desire

What's up people? Lana X here. I'm a five-foot-nine, curvy and sexy, blonde-haired and green-eyed, alabaster-skinned transsexual porn star turned escort living in Ontario, Canada. My home base is Ottawa but since people out here are cheap, I do the bulk of my business elsewhere. I tour the major cities, usually staying at hotels and advertising my services online and in the back pages of major newspapers. Got to make a buck, you know?

I am ashamed to say that a long time, I was one of those escorts who would not service Black male customers. Simply because I had a bad experience with a homophobic Jamaican client, Andre, who beat me up because he felt guilty after having too much fun with me. That incident, which took place in a motel room in Vanier, scarred me both emotionally and physically. That's why I swore off Black males.

Imagine my surprise when I recently fell in love with one. I was walking around McArthur Avenue in Vanier, heading to the local grocery store because, hey, even freaky transsexual escorts got to eat. I like to do my grocery shopping late at night. Don't ask me why. As I did my shopping, I became aware of a trio of young guys, two White dudes and an Arab youth, who were looking at me and following me around. One of them was a former client, and a rude one at that.

I ignored the odd trio, and went about looking for groceries. I was in the toiletries aisle near the entrance of the store when the three guys jumped me. I got punched, then thrown to the damn floor and kicked. Hapless, I wailed in pain as the three bullies assaulted me. The cashier, a preppy blonde chick in a faded green shirt, dashed off, presumably to call for help or because she was scared.

I think I would have died or suffered major damage if a certain burly, dark-skinned Black guy in a security guard uniform hadn't intervened. The big Black dude waded into my assailants, and kicked their asses. Gently kneeling beside me, the hero took my hand in his, smiled kindly and told me that help was on the way. Thus I met Steve Etienne, the young Haitian guy destined to change my life.

As a result of that assault, I was hospitalized for three days, and suffered bruised ribs and a fat lip, but nothing more serious than that. The staff at the Civic Hospital on Carling Avenue were friendly, and when a cop dropped by to talk to me, I told the officer that I would be pressing charges against the homophobic creeps. I am a transsexual and an escort, probably not your idea of an upstanding citizen, but I am a human being at the end of the day and I have certain rights. No, I won't put up with assault from bigots, thank you very much.

As soon as I felt healthy enough, I returned to the grocery store, and sure enough, I ran into Steve, the burly, dark-skinned security guard with the easy smile and kind eyes. I approached him slowly, and for a moment, I was worried he might have forgotten me. Steve greeted me politely, and asked me how I was doing since the incident. I smiled and gave him a long-winded response, a bad habit of tranny girls like myself, and Steve was friendly and courteous, and quite sympathetic.

Don't ask me why but I kind of liked Steve, and when he asked me for my number, I told him. Now, I am a very passable transsexual, meaning that most people can tell that I wasn't born a woman. I am attractive and feminine, but I am also brutally honest. Before giving Steve my number, I told him what I am. Point blank, that's my style when it comes to revelations. Steve smiled and looked at me the way a hungry wolf looks at a lamb, and I felt my dick harden in my panties.

I looked into Steve's eyes and smiled, and then we exchanged numbers. Three days later, Steve took me to the Silver City movie theater in Gloucester, where we watched Will Smith's new movie Focus. Kind of funny, considering. A lot of people stared at Steve and I as we walked into the movie theater. Ottawa is a fairly diverse town, with so many African, Arab, Indian, Latino and Chinese immigrants around, but interracial couples still get stared at.

In the eyes of the world, I'm a White woman. Of course, strip me down and you'll see that I'm a pretty-faced, busty and curvy, big-bottomed and sexy White chick...with a BIG dick. What they call B.W.C. in the online world, I guess. I am actually a White transsexual, not a genetic White woman. It's kind of a mixed blessing that people can't tell what I am.

A lot of White guys glared at me angrily as they saw me with Steve, the proverbial big and tall Black guy. Some Black women looked at us with surly looks on their faces. What a world! These people came to the theater to watch Will Smith bang the hell out of Australian starlet Margot Robbie on the big screen, but they're staring at Steve and I because our skin tones don't match? Wow!

When I mentioned to Steve the hostile looks we were getting, the handsome, charming young Haitian guy smiled and shrugged. I saw a look of resignation in his brown eyes. Being a Black guy and a newcomer to Canada by way of Haiti, Steve was used to getting stared at. I'm a transsexual and while people like me get targeted for hate crimes, for the most part, we also benefit from White privilege and are shielded from the effects of racism. Walking with Steve was opening my eyes to a lot of things!

After the movie, Steve and I went to the Blair Shopping Center and ate some Shawarma sandwiches and garlic potatoes which we washed down with Pepsis, then we went for a long walk around Gloucester. I wanted to know more about Steve and buggered him with questions. Lucky for me, the fine brother from Haiti was quite open.

Steve was studying criminology at the University of Ottawa and hoped to become a cop someday. He'd recently become a permanent resident of Canada and wanted to apply for police college as soon as he got his citizenship. Steve was cute, smart and ambitious. Am I a lucky bitch or what? I didn't know there were good guys left in this world, seriously!

I told Steve about my past as a porn star, but didn't tell him about my escorting work. I got a feeling that even though Steve, who considers himself bisexual and fairly open-minded, seemed cool with certain things, he wouldn't be okay with knowing that I'm in the world's oldest profession. I don't like being an escort but I am a marked person after working in porn. Also, the last "normal" job I had, working at Sephora, I got fired after three months because the Arab bitch who manages the store thought of me as an abomination.

I told Steve that I'm living off my leftover money from my porn star days and he encouraged me to find more normal work. What a guy. I really wanted to know him better, and when Steve told me that he liked me, three weeks after our movie date, I happily embarked on a relationship with him. We shared our first kiss on Parliament Hill, as a bunch of tourists and cops watched us. That's cool, right?

My relationship with Steve is definitely passionate. We are perfect together, in and out of bed. I consider myself a switch-hitter, and both in my porn work and my escort work, I fuck both guys and girls. I am always the dominant, though. Steve didn't have a problem with that. The six-foot-four, burly Black dude from the island of Haiti is a power bottom all the way. Is that hot or what?

Steve absolutely loves my body, and can't get enough of me. When we're out at the movies or walking around the Rideau Center or the Saint Laurent Mall, Steve loves to kiss me and hold my hand, and he gropes my thick White ass every chance he gets. What is it with Black men and big butts? Not that I am complaining, in any way.

Steve and I have wicked fun in bed. The strong, masculine brother from Haiti loves to put me on all fours and kiss my big White butt, then he fondles it and fingers it before licking my butt hole. Afterwards, Steve kisses me full and deep, then he sucks on my big tits, pinching my sensitive nipples as I stroke my ten-inch dick in anticipation of sexing him down.

Steve and I love sucking each other's dicks, and I love the taste of his eight-inch, uncircumcised Haitian dick in my mouth. I love playing with Steve's chest hairs while sucking his dick, and I love it when my Haitian prince shoots his cum all over my tits. Afterwards, I don a condom, put Steve on all fours and push my ten inches into his well-lubricated asshole. The Haitian stud is a real screamer, and I absolutely love that in a man!

Steve loves it when I put him on his back, raise his big strong legs in the air and bury my cock deep inside his asshole. The Haitian stud likes to kiss me and caress my tits as I fuck him. Hell, Steve likes to smack my big white butt as I drill my cock into his butt hole. What a kinky guy? We don't just fuck, we make love, for Steve and I connect in every way. After sex, Steve holds me and kisses me tenderly. When we're out together, Steve is very protective of me. That's why I've decided to change my life for him.

The other day, I went to the Sexual Health Center located near downtown Ottawa, and got tested. I don't have any STDs or STIs, whatever they're calling them these days. Considering that I'm thirty two years old, and worked for ten years in the adult film industry, that's damn lucky. I starred in four hundred porn titles, and made over six hundred thousand dollars. Too bad I blew a lot of it on drugs before I left California and returned to Ontario for good.

As I walked out of the center, I decided to make a change. I love Steve, the Haitian stud who makes my heart race whenever he smiles at me. I am going to stop being an escort, and I'll get a regular job. I don't care if I'm a cashier at Loblaw's, or a waitress, or whatever. I won't be selling my body anymore. Steve is very religious, in spite of being bisexual, and he attends a non-denominational church that is very tolerant toward LGBT people.

I love Steve, and thanks to him, I've started going to church again. I've met his family at that church, and his parents, Marianne and Julius Etienne were quite friendly and welcoming toward me. I'm the transsexual White chick from small-town Canada who's dating their bisexual Haitian son, and these people love me! Brings tears to my eyes, seriously.

I am changing my ways, and uncovering my heart. I am no longer an escort, or a porn star. I am no longer Lana X, the world-famous transsexual porn star. I am Lydia Jenkins, formerly Liam Jenkins of Thunder Bay, Ontario. I am a new woman. The life partner or girlfriend or better half of Steve Etienne, one sexy Haitian brother and the finest human being I've ever met. I am thankful to the Lord for a new chance at life, and for finding love at last. Peace.

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