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  • Confessions of a Porn Star Ch. 01

Confessions of a Porn Star Ch. 01

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Part One: It's not just sex at a swingers' party but sometimes it's love too.

From swinging sex in Oregon, United States, to making porn films in Amsterdam, Netherlands, an American couple, Liz and Mitch, originally from the south, Virginia and Georgia respectively, find more than sex at a swingers' party. They find love. With neither of them looking for love nor expecting to find love when they were there for just sex, love took them by surprise. Love just happened unexpectedly. As it so happened, love was much better than sex.

Love took control of their sexually, salacious lives and played its trump card over sex. Where sex can sometimes be empty, boring, and mundane, filled with every emotion, love is the real deal. With Liz having heard every line and sexually experienced every type of man and every type of woman, enlightened by but also jaded by swinging with so much of humanity, she thought that she was too sexually sophisticated to fall in love but she was wrong. With Mitch having heard every line and sexually experienced every type of woman and every type of man, enlightened by but also jaded by swinging with so much of humanity, he thought he was too sexually sophisticated to fall in love but he was wrong. With them taking love out of the equation for the sake of sex, they were both wrong and love hit them hard enough for them to marry one another.

They thought that with them having sex with so very many people that one person could never sexually, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and romantically satisfy them but they were wrong. They just hadn't found the right person until now. Through the swinging lifestyle and while having sex with others at a swingers' house party, they found one another. Now married and sharing the common interest of swinging and wanting to continue in the swinging lifestyle, with swapping and/or sharing partners the secret envy or the public abomination of other couples, they're having their cake and eat it too.

* * * * *

Usually hidden in the shadows and behind closed, bedroom doors, there are swingers and swingers' parties in every city of the country. There's even a swingers' convention held in Las Vegas every year with thousands of sexy, amorous, and horny swingers in attendance. Many people who have never participated in the swinging lifestyle don't even know what goes on at a swingers' party yet they're quick to give their negative opinion. One of the positive things about swinging is that it opens not just your sexuality but also your way of thinking about sex and having sex with other people. The things that you thought were sexually exciting and sexual faux pas before are blasé now and permissible now. Nonetheless their ignorance, most people who aren't swingers and who have never swapped partners have their own preconceived misconceptions about what really happens at a swingers' party. For those who have never attended a swinger's event, instead of imagining anything good about swingers and/or about swinger's parties, they only imagine the worst scenarios.

Most married and/or committed couples can't even imagine having sex with someone else. Most married and/or committed couples can't ever imagine their wives having sex with another man or their husbands having sex with another woman. Most married and/or committed couples can't conceive of the possibility of swapping partners and sharing their wives or husbands for sex and/or having a threesome or a foursome. Most married and/or committed couples have preconceived misconceptions about the people who attend a swingers' party. The truth is that most of the people who attend a swingers' party are people just like you. Except for their sexy clothes, perhaps, other than by their actions and what they say, unless their public behavior is sexually outrageous, it would be difficult to discern swingers from non-swingers when out on the street or shopping at the mall.

Most swingers are married couples with children and have jobs, car payments, student loans, and mortgages. Most swingers have a separate, secret life and don't want their non-swinging friends, relatives, neighbors, acquaintances, and/or employers knowing that they're swingers. Yet for every one hundred normal swingers, if you can stretch the definition of normal to call swingers normal, there are a couple of strange, even bizarre swingers who are into sex more as a ritual and/or as a way to satisfy their fetishes than just as a means to have an orgasm.

Of course there are some people at a swingers' party that are more sexual and who have more particularly peculiar, sexual peccadilloes than others in attendance. Of course, there are some people who are strangely and severely, sexually maladjusted. Yet, just as they have every right to attend a swingers' party, most swingers avoid the whackos and the weirdos to seek out other couples who share their interests physically, emotionally, and sexually.

* * * * *

"Michael, what are you doing with that rope and duct tape?"

She looked at him with concern and suppressed fear.

"I'm going to tie you to the bed," said Michael tying Christine's wrist to the bed post.

He smiled at her while snapping the rope in the way that a father would snap his belt before disciplining a bad child.

"Okay," said Christine with sexually excitement peppered with nervousness. "That could be fun."

She seemed more relieved that he was into a bit of light bondage and not something dastardly and/or violent. Only the rope was one thing and the duct tape was something else.

"Then, once you're tied to the bed, I'm going to pee all over your face and defecate on your chest," said Michael with a strangely twisted look on his face. "I've been saving up all day for your visit," he said.

Only, she thought that he was referring to saving up his cum and giving her a cum bath. She didn't know that he was saving up his bodily waste to unload on her.

'Eww,' she thought. 'What have I gotten myself into and more importantly, how do I get out of this and out of here.'

"Okay," said Christine. "Being that I've never had someone do that to me before, that could be fun. Only, hold on, Michael. Give me a second. Just let me use the bathroom first," said Christine. "Okay?"

She sat up in bed with a look that told him that she had to use the bathroom in a hurry.

"Sure. Okay," he said untying her while looking puzzled why she didn't just pee and/or shit in the bed in the way that he was going to do that with her and on her.

Once untied, Christine ran down the stairs and out the door never to see Michael again. Now perhaps thinking that he represents all swingers, that's the last time she'll be answering a swingers' ad in the newspaper. She thought she was going to have some sexy fun. She thought he was going to give her hot sex with a bit of light bondage. She didn't know he was into golden showers and degradation. He seemed like a nice, normal guy when she spoke with him on the phone. She had no idea that he wanted to pee and shit on her.

* * * * *

With those who are into bondage, gangbangs, fetishes, exhibitionism and voyeurism, group sex, or gay and lesbian sex, some swingers' use swingers' parties and the swinging lifestyle to explore the kinkier side of their sexually by participating in the expressly forbidden sex. In the way that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens at a swingers' party stays at a swingers' party. Filled with people who share the same sexual interests, swingers' house parties seemingly inspire the more taboo side of swinging. Something a couple may not do in the privacy of their bedroom, they are suddenly eagerly inspired to do in the presence of a dozen strangers.

Some people who've never attended a swingers' party may think that the men in attendance must be all perverts. Some people who've never attended a swinger's party may think that swinger's parties are just a big orgy. If one isn't attracted to another, no means no. Just politely say no and that particular person will move on to someone else.

"Get away from me, you weirdo, before I kick you in the nuts. Sorry. What I meant to say was, no thank you. I'm not interested you tying me to the bed, peeing all over my face, and defecating on my chest. Thank you anyway and have a nice day. Gees, do you believe that guy? He's such a weirdo," said Donna to her husband, Ralph.

Ralph gave her a big, shit eating grin.

"Actually," said Ralph. "That was something that I wanted you to experience."

Donna looked at him with shock and disgust.

"Pardon? You'd like that man to pee all over your face and shit on your chest?"

Ralph smiled at her confusion.

"No," said Ralph. "I'd like to see him do that to you."

"Eww. Gross. Not in this lifetime," said Donna. "That's just nasty."

* * * * *

For sure, even harder on the women, people who have never participated in the swinging lifestyle may believe that the women in attendance must all be sluts, whores, addicted to sex, and/or even nymphomaniacs. They couldn't be more wrong. Many of the women in the swinging lifestyle are very nice and have no more sexual desire as any man would have. Many of the women in the swinging lifestyle are mothers with children. Then there are other women in the swinging lifestyle who are only there because they've been pressured by their husbands to attend. Many of the women in the swinging lifestyle, once they realize that they're free to have sex with others rather than only just with their husband, take the ball and run with it.

Yet, for all that we imagine what a nymphomaniac is, with men making it more than it is and only thinking about their own selfless, selfish, sexual reasons, the simple definition of nymphomania is an uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire in a woman. Now that it's been simplified by definition, being a nymphomaniac doesn't sound so bad on the surface to those not afflicted by nymphomania but it's devastating to someone who has that affliction. Can you imagine having an uncontrollable, excessive sexual desire? Exciting to feel that way in the beginning, it must be sexually frustrating and emotionally debilitating to continue to feel that way all day, every day, and all night, every night. Who wants to live a life like that when sex is the most important thing in her life? It's an addiction in the way that overeating, gambling, and drinking is.

* * * * *

"Honey. Wake up. I need you to fuck me," said Jennifer.

She looked at her husband with horniness.

"What? Huh? No, not now Sweetie. I'm sleeping Jen," said Mike yawning.

He looked at her as if she was nuts.

"Please? I'm so horny," said Jen.

She looked at him with sexual frustration.

"You're always horny," said Mike looking at his watch. "We just had sex an hour ago."

He shook his head, rolled his eyes, and yawned.

"We did? I don't remember. I must have fallen asleep. I thought I was dreaming, which is why I woke up so horny. At least let me suck your cock," said Jennifer reaching her hand in her husband's pajamas and pulling out his prick. "Maybe I'll feel better after you cum in my mouth."

Now that she had his attention, he was wide awake.

"Okay," he said not one to ever say no to a blowjob.

* * * * *

In the way that most men view nymphomania and nymphomaniacs, men who've never met a nymphomaniac and who don't know anyone who suffers from nymphomania, believe that nymphomaniacs are sexually exciting women to know and to sexually experience. Young, testosterone filled men believe that a woman who wants sex anytime and anywhere is their sexual, dream woman. Only men who've never had sex with a nymphomaniac don't realize that too much of a good sexual thing can become tiringly boring and emotionally frustrating. Men who have never met or experienced a nymphomaniac don't know that nymphomania is nothing more than a compulsive disorder and an imbalance in the brain's perception of the need for constant sex.

Plain and simple, without delving in the tortured souls and specific psychologies of a nymphomania, a nymphomaniac is a woman who not only can never have enough sex but also can never be sexually satisfied. As if she's manipulated by the Devil himself, sexually as well as emotional dissatisfaction a sad reality and a true testament to nymphomania. Not for me to judge, the reasons why a woman has this condition can only be unraveled with psychological help. The only way that a woman can be eradicated of this abnormal mental condition is only by a psychiatrist and through extensive individual and group therapy.

"Hello," said a very attractive, busty brunette at the sexual addiction meeting. "I'm Jennifer and I'm a nymphomaniac," she said fingering the middle button of her blouse as if she was about to unbutton herself.

Every man in the room stared at her fingers poised on the button of her blouse hoping that she'd unbutton and remove her blouse to expose her bra clad breasts. Now, after having had to suffer through scores of ugly sluts, alcoholic whores, and fucked over prostitutes, attending a sexual addiction meeting has suddenly become so very much more interesting and sexually exciting. No doubt, those men who dreaded attending a sexual addiction meeting, now looked forward to attending the next sexual addiction meeting.

With Jennifer, tall, shapely, busty, and beautiful with long, lush, dark brown hair, and big, beautiful, brown eyes, men only see a gorgeous woman who loves having sex. What's the problem? As long as their having sex with Jennifer, their sexual addiction and her nymphomania are a good thing. With their eyes intently focused on Jennifer, every man in the room is sitting up taller in their chairs while hoping they can be her lover, I mean, of course, her sponsor.

As if she was trying on shoes in a shoe store with a salesman helping her fit her foot, she deliberately or accidentally flashed a bit of her bright, white panty while crossing her long, shapely legs. As if she was Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, she gave men a continual view between her legs each time she crossed and uncrossed her legs. Continuing the show of exhibitionism, she gave the men in the immediate area a down blouse view of her long line of sexy cleavage and the top of her breasts and bra when she leaned down in her purse to turn off her phone.

"Hello Jennifer," said the group of men in attendance as they were one while the women at the sexual addiction meeting just eyed her and gave the men dirty looks.

* * * * *

As if they're a drug addict needing a fix, an alcoholic needing a drink, or a gambler needing to bet, nymphomaniac women can not only say no to sex but also can never get enough sex and can never be sexually satisfied by sex. Always ready to go again and again, enough is never enough. Assuredly, being a nymphomaniac is more of a tortuous thing than it is a fun or sexy thing, ergo, the reason why they're called maniacs, albeit nymphomaniacs. Whether it's the sex, the physical and emotional contact, or the woman wanting the reaction of shocking the man or men into knowing that she's more sexual than they are, whatever the reason is, women with nymphomania are, indeed, tortured souls. It takes a kind, loving, and understanding man to live with a woman who has nymphomania.

Alas, sometimes not even caring who they're fucking and/or sucking, many men, those men who've never met a nymphomaniac, believe that nymphomania is a sexually exciting condition to possess. Only looking at the emotional affliction from their point of view, it's the sexual fantasy of many men to meet a nymphomaniac. Without even considering the ramifications of living with or being with a nymphomania, it's the sexual fantasy of many men to have sex whenever and wherever they want it. Rather, than being sexually exciting, it's a sad and emotionally painful condition to have. Most men, who don't know a nymphomaniac, would love to have a nympho as a girlfriend or as a wife until they experience firsthand how difficult it is to live with someone who has such an affliction as nymphomania.

"Honey? Where've you been? You've been gone all night," said Tom, Kate's husband.

With her mind a blur of naked men and erect cocks, she looked at her husband blankly. Unbeknownst to her husband, she even had dried cum in her ear and more cum that she had inadvertently brushed in her hair.

"Oh, sorry. I lost track of time. I, um, went to the mall and then for a walk," said Kate obviously lying about where she was when she was having sex with several men along the way before finally finding her way home. As if he was one of her newly potential, sexual partners, she gave her husband a sexy look. "Do you want to fuck?"

Yet, this story isn't about nymphomania or even a about a nymphomaniac, per se. This story is about something similar in her sexual agenda but totally different in her sexual lifestyle just the same. This story is about Liz, an attractive and sexually alluring woman who enjoys having sex albeit with many different men and some women too. This story is about the real, live confessions of a porn star.

* * * * *

Walking the fine line between the two, some men may think that Liz, the main character of this story, must be a nymphomaniac to have had sex with so very many men, thousands of men by her admitted guestimate. Some men may think that she must be a nymphomaniac to have participated in the swinging lifestyle for so long, thirty years by her admission. Some men may even think that she must be a nymphomaniac for her to do porn movies, but she's not a nymphomaniac. She made the movies for two obvious reasons. She loves sex as much as she loves money. Who doesn't like sex and money?

In reality, she's not a slut, a whore, or a nymphomaniac. She's just a woman who loves sex. She's just a woman like any other woman until she's at a swingers' party or making a porn movie. Then, unleashing the sexual beast within her, she's different albeit still much the same as any other woman who's never had sex with so very many sexual partners. If anyone is to label her by calling her a name, label her as sexy, sensual, pretty, fun, and a woman. Label her as fun, spontaneous, romantic, and wicked good in bed. Only don't call her a slut, a whore, addicted to sex, or a nymphomaniac. For sure, if you met her on the street and knew she was a swinger, instead of calling her a name, you'd want to have sex with her.

"Hello Liz. It's nice to meet you. Let's have sex," said a man, nearly any man, that Liz was suddenly sexually attracted to and wanting to have sex with while at a swingers' party.

Yet, other than calling men a whoremonger or a pervert, there's no words to describe men's sexual lust in the way there are plenty of hurtful adjectives to defame women's morals, character, and reputation. Actually there is one term that is not widely known. Men who must have sex, men who have such a sexual, compulsive disorder, who seemingly are never sexually satisfied, and who are driven by sex may have the affliction called Satyriasis. Instead of being called nymphomaniacs, they're called satyromaniacs.

Being that few men even know that men can have such a sexual, physical condition goes a long way in revealing that it's still a man's world and will always be a man's world. In the way that there's a negative connotation held over the head of a woman who's a nymphomaniac, there's no such negative connotation held over the head of a man who's a satyromaniac. In the way that women who have the psychological affliction are quick to be called nymphomaniacs, men are never called satyromaniacs. Even when it comes to sex, especially when it comes to sex, women are second class citizens and will always be second class citizens.

Men will always freely call any women who enjoys having sex with many men a slut or a whore. Then, whenever a woman's sexual appetite rivals or surpasses that of a man's sexual appetite, instead of defaming the man, the woman is labeled a nymphomaniac while a man is affectionately known as a player or a playboy even when he may have satyromania and be a satyromaniac. Men are never as harshly judged in the way that women are immediately judged and labeled.

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