Cries from a Desperate Man

I don't know how this could have happened. I have no idea what to do. I'm at the end of my rope. I'm not sure how much longer I can hold off. All I can do is hope that someone finds this and learns from my mistake. Let it be known that I, Marshall Washington II, have made a terrible mistake and may enter a world that I may never be able to escape from.

It all started a year ago. I just enter college, the same as my older sister, Shante, and my girlfriend at the time, Ruby. I was working to get my Chemistry degree, and was lucky enough to get an advisor in the chemistry department. My advisor was even nice enough to let me stay in the Science Building after hours to finish homework. Only now do I realize that I should have spent more of that time on homework, and less on my little project.

Actually it wasn't little. It was supposed to be something revolutionary and ground breaking; something that would make my girlfriend of 3 years into the perfect wife. I don't have many complaints when it comes to Ruby, she's kind, beautiful and smart, and the sex was good. But I feel like she could be better. Despite being 5' 8" (the same height as me) she was thin, had no chest to speak of and could go for days on end without showing any kind of affection. But now I had finally created a set of pills that could not only make her chest bigger, widen her hips, and increase her libido in just a couple of weeks, but it would also make her accepting of the changes in her attitude and body.

I just had one problem: I needed a test subject.

I never tested the pills on anything living. I was too afraid of the consequences if testing anything I didn't have faith in, If only I had the same fears when I made my first mistake. Because I wasn't sure about the extent of the physical and mental changes as a whole, and I was not in the mood for secretly drugging and stalking some girl, I needed a person who trusted me and had similar qualifications as Ruby. I soon discovered that my best option was my own sister Shante.

This was my first mistake.

Shante was 5'5" and her black hair was longer than Ruby's, but other than that they were the same size: flat and thin. She's struggled with anorexia for years, so despite her being about 105 lbs. she's always trying to lose weight. My plan was simple. I would tell her that the pills were diet pills I had been working on for years. We were only a year apart so she would trust me with little doubt. She would take a pill every day at breakfast, record how she felt in a journal, and after 3 weeks I would give her the antidote pill, which would fix any mental changes that the Mini Pills (I was going to call them Plump Pills but she wouldn't have taken them) made to her. If they worked then by Halloween she would be thicker and hornier than ever. If they didn't work, I would say that they were just crappy pills and give her the antidote, but would take full responsibility for her physical changes.

The plan worked, or it seemed to be at the time. Shante started using the pills around the beginning of October, and after one week her attitude changed immensely. She was happier and had more self-confidence. By week two her body began to fill out. She went from a small B-cup to a big C-cup, almost a D. I was worried that she would reject the pills after she saw herself grow a few pants sizes, but her journal entries showed the opposite. Maybe it was because I had her confidence boosted before I had her body grow, but she seemed to enjoy her new body, and even ignored any of her friends telling her that she looked bad. By the third week I was sure that the pills had no flaws. She became more flirtations and was beyond being shy about her body. She wore tight cloths, would hit on guys when she went out, and even talked in detail about her first trip to a sex shop. The pills didn't seem to have any effect on her intelligence, her memory or her morals. Despite being almost egotistical, more beautiful and more confident, she never did anything that I thought was too outrageous. I was ready to call this run a success, and felt like I was on cloud nine. Oh how foolish I was.

Ever since we got to school, I got the impression that Ruby only went to the same school as me to be close to me. She never seemed totally unhappy until about the second week in October. Around this time I was really deep in my research with my sister's "diet pills" that our sporadic alone time became almost non-existent. I knew I would be paying less attention to her and tried to compensate by taking her on more expensive dates and letting her take more charge in bed. I thought it was working, but I couldn't be more wrong. On the day that I was going to start giving her the pills, she came to my room and told me how unhappy she was. She lamented about her days getting harassed by teachers for not getting the concepts after a whole month, and every night her roommates did whatever they pleased without consulting her at all. She told me that she was going to leave school early the next morning and transfer to her first pick, which was 7 hours away. We talked for hours about our relationship, but in the end we decided to end things that night. We cried and said our goodbyes, and I had an emotional moment where I cursed myself for being so blind to our relationship. I went to bed sad and alone that night, but not before texting my sister to remind her to take her last pill (the mental antidote). I didn't know that the next 3 days had so much in store for me.

I had no classes that day, so after breakfast I went straight to my sister's room to get her journal. She greeted me at the door in just her bathrobe, still a bit flirty. But there was something else. I chose to ignore it thinking that the antidote needed more time to fully work. Shante said that she say Ruby leave that morning. She said her goodbyes and said that she promised to watch out for me. It didn't seem unusual, seeing as how she was my older sister. I took her journal and went about my day. I was too upset to even think about my experiments, let alone my sister's journal. I spent the day with my phone tired off to prevent me from trying to call Ruby, and did nothing but study and jog to keep me busy. I was too tired by the time I got back to my room that I literally fell onto my bed with the clothes I had on that day.

The next morning I woke up to my sister sitting at the foot of my bed calling my name.

I was shocked at how she got in, but I remembered that my RA was one of her closest friends. It was apparently 9:30 in the morning and I had missed my first class. But I was too startled by 3 strange things. The first was my sister's chest. No longer were they the large Cs that she had been growing, nor were they her old Bs. No, these were much closer to F-cups, the biggest tits I had ever seen on a woman her size. The second was her attitude. She was still a bit flirty, but it was more obvious, and we were the only ones in the room. The third was that... I was horny. Yes, looking at my morphed sister, with her wide hips, lovely curves, her mountainous tits, I was speechless. Shante told me that she wanted to make sure that I didn't miss the rest of my classes. I must have told her something to the effect of "I'll get up soon", but I remember being to confused and horny to form words. All I know is that she left me in my room feeling like I needed something in my life. That was when I started to panic. I quickly looked back at my research and discovered a fatal flaw. The antidote wasn't a different pill of its own, but one of my failed attempts that was modified. It was meant to have zero effect on the subject's body, and restore any adjustments made to the libido and make minor changes to confidence changes. However the "antidote" was anything but that. Not only were the physical changes still intact, but they were accelerated, having the same effect of 2 weeks of my final pills in about a day. And to make matters worse, it did the same for the libido and confidence as well. My mind raced to remember exactly why the first draft was such a failure. After a few minutes, I remembered; the first pill pushed the mind to obsession over something that the subject loves.

I quickly searched for my sister's journal and hoped for the best. The first thing that I noticed was that the journal was filled. At some point in the last two days she had written over 50 pages, front and back, of what was supposed to be for research. I started reading after her last update and was shocked. She had written a letter to me in the journal. The thanked me for helping her get her life together, and she told me that she loved me. My heart skipped a beat. My sister and I were always close, but we never used "love" before. We just assumed...I don't know.

But this was before she took the antidote, and my worst fears were realized. She wrote about how her body had changed so rapidly, but her fear was soon replaced with ego. She spoke about how her body was nearly perfect now, and how no man could resist her. She spoke about all the people that she could seduce. I recognized athletes, people from her Spanish classes, a few professors, even the Dean's grandson! But she didn't stop there. She talked about how her roommate (who was a closet lesbian) had been checking her out over the past couple of weeks. She then started to name women that she claimed that she would be "more than happy to go gay for, if at least once." Again she named volleyball players, a few foreign students, and even her own advisor. I had read through much of the journal and I was sure that my sister's mind had taken a turn for the worse.

And then there was another letter addressed to me.

This was not a letter of thanks and love. It was one of lust and wanting. She told me again that she wanted to thank me for helping her. But then she soon went into great detail about the things she wanted to do to thank me. I should have stopped reading but... I just couldn't. She talked about how she was happy that Ruby was gone, but she was sad to see me so hurt. She told me all the things that she would do for me. They ranged from letting me live with her whenever I needed a place to stay...to some of the most horrific and graphic sexual thing I have ever read. The last half of the notebook was a litany of praise, adoration and unkempt incest. But I read it all. At long last I tossed the journal across my room and got to work on fixing my sister. I decided not to leave my room again, for fear of seeing my sister.

But Halloween was hell for me.

I had spent the last 40 hours in my room doing research and calculations, struggling to find a way to fix my sister. I had made some progress, but not enough. I needed to get to the science lab, but I was afraid to leave my room. I had been trying to keep track of my sister's whereabouts using her Twitter and Instagram pages. Ignoring the scandalous pictures, she had stayed on campus for the day but was trying to go out. At about 5 pm she posted that she would be at a party a few miles away from the campus with her roommate. Feeling some relief, I decided to get some sleep. I shouldn't have let my guard down like an idiot.

I was awoken by my RA knocking on my door. Still half asleep I stumbled to the door and opened it to a shock. Shante was there next to my RA. She was in a purple to that thankfully covered her chest and a knee-length yellow skirt. Her hair was done up like she was going out. I was so panicked that I barely heard what my RA was saying. I just saw him walk away after a minute, leaving there with my sister.

And for the first time in 3 days, we talked to each other.

"I thought you were going to a party."

"I needed to check on my little brother."

"Well I'm fine, just a little stressed. Go enjoy yourself."

"You aren't fine."

"YES, I... I just need some sleep."

"Can I help you in any way?"

"No."

I tried to close the door on her, but she pushed herself in.

"I don't believe you."

She closed the door behind her and locked it before finishing.

"Did you read my journal entries?"

"Shante about the drug..."

"It worked wonders! I feel better than ever have. And I have only you to thank for it, Marshall."

"Shante, I messed up. I messed you up and I'm sorry. But I have to change you."

"What do you want to change?"

"Well..."

"Is it my body? Is it not what it should be?"

"Not really...no not that."

She got a step closer to me.

"Did I get dumber?"

"Not from what I can tell..."

A step closer.

"Is it my hair?"

"No..."

A step closer.

"Is it the fact that I want my roommate between my legs every morning?"

"No, but Sha..."

"Is it the fact that I want every man around me to know that I am something that they want?"

A step closer.

"N... Shante, please..."

"Is it the fact that I would give up all of that, just to make you happy, little brother???"

A step closer, and suddenly I was sitting on my bed.

"Yes, that! Shante this isn't normal. We were close before but..."

"But now? Now I'm a new person. I'm happy, happier than ever. And all because you wanted to help me. And all I was to do is make..."

"IT WAS NEVER FOR YOU! I wanted...I wanted to do it to Ruby. But I didn't want to risk hurting her forever, so I ..."

"So you risked hurting your sister?"

"I didn't mean to. I had ways to make sure you didn't end up worst, but..."

Suddenly we were hugging.

"Oh Marshall, I can't stay mad at you!"

"Shante..."

"I can see why you would want to change her like this. She was a nice girl, but she was so flat, and so anal. She could have been just like me. But Ruby is gone now. Anything you wanted to do with her is over."

"Shante, I ..."

"But I'm here, Marshal."

Suddenly her skirt was gone.

"I'm the women that you wanted to make."

Suddenly she was topless.

"I'm the woman that you deserve. A woman that will make you happy..."

Suddenly her making underwear was across the room.

"A woman who will do anything and everything for you..."

Suddenly she was on my lap.

"I'll let you play with my FF cups whenever you want. I'll let you do me anywhere you want, any time you want."

Suddenly her face was close to mine.

"If you want someone else, I'll get them for you. My roommate? Yours. Your English professor? Yours. I'll even find a way to get Ruby back if you wanted.

Suddenly she was whispering in my ear.

"I'll even let you call me 'Ruby' any time you want. Just tell me what to do little brother. Your wish is my command."

"Leave."

"What was that?"

Suddenly I was in tears.

"Shante, please...just leave..."

"Would that make you happy, little brother?"

I couldn't find any more words, so I simply nodded.

"Okay then."

Through my tears I saw my sister get dressed with a smile on her face. Was she really happy to make me happy, even if it meant leaving me? But before she left, she said one more thing.

"I will wait for you Marshall. Forever. I could be 50 years old, with a loving husband and 3 beautiful kids. Just tell me that you want me. I will drop everything in my life just to make you happy. Goodnight, Marshall. I love you, and I always will."

Suddenly, I no longer wanted to sleep.

Her words stuck with me. Every event that took place those three days was forever burned into my head. In just a few days I lost both a girlfriend and a sister, but gained something that I don't know if I want. I got back into my school work, but spent every second of free time I had trying to make another antidote. Shante didn't give up. She was relishing in her new body and mind. She keep sending me texts and private messages about her life. Every man she slept with, she had a picture taken and would send it to me. She would send me links to incest porn site with the tag line "This could be us". She sent messages about her first time with a woman, and even sent a photo of her roommate on her knees wearing nothing but stockings and a collar around her neck.

Thanksgiving is coming up, meaning a whole week with Shante at home. She promised that she wouldn't tease me around mom and dad, but I'm not sure if she's honest. I'm not sure about a lot of things anymore. I don't know if I want to continue my degree in Chemistry. I'm not sure if I'll ever see Ruby again. I'm not sure if I'll finish the antidote before I get pushed too far. Part of me isn't sure if I even want an antidote...Part of me wants...

To whoever may read this, I ask for you to learn from my story. I fear that I have already traveled to deep down the rabbit hole. I have tampered with my sister to the point that she will do anything for me except leave me alone. I want you to see what happens to people who search for the easy way out. I want you to learn ...SOMETHING! I don't know why I wrote this. I don't know what else to do. My research is at a standstill, and I don't know whether it's because I'm lost, or if I've finally given into my sister. I truly don't know what to say or do anymore. I just wanted to make my girlfriend the perfect woman for me, but instead I made my sister the woman that she thinks I deserve...I just don't know what I deserve anymore...I just don't know...