Exploring Feelings Ch. 03

PRESENT DAY:

As he pulled his rental car off Interstate 476 and headed toward Brian and Amy's house, Chris was filled with his usual mix of dread and excitement. Dread at knocking on the door to see the smiling face of his friend Brian, who he had been betraying for nearly 20 years. Dread at having to sit through dinner without revealing how much he wanted to grab Amy and take her right there on the dining room table. But there was also excitement thinking of that moment after dinner, as Amy figured out a way to excuse herself at the end. That was always his cue to make his own excuse and meet her in the basement, as he had so many times in this house before.

There was also the matter of the Harris children. He always loved seeing them, and they enjoyed when "Uncle Chris" came to visit bearing gifts, but it was always a little difficult seeing little Johnny, knowing what he knew...or at least what he thought he knew. He didn't have it in him to ask Amy for a DNA test, and she steadfastly claimed that he was almost certainly Brian's biological child and definitely his child in every other matter.

Chris didn't disagree with the second part, but every time he thought of the first part his mind began to wander to a summer night on the Jersey shore, a little over 7 years ago, when two hurt and confused people had possibly made a grave mistake. But just as he began to think about it he realized he had pulled up in front of their home.

He knocked on the door, as always carrying gifts for the kids from his wife and a bottle of wine for the parents. As always, Brian answered the door with his usual heartfelt hug (that made Chris' stomach turn more than a little bit), and was quickly followed by an eager greeting from the kids (to be fair, they were more interested in the presents, but Chris didn't begrudge their enthusiasm).

Amy was hiding in the kitchen at first as always, under the guise of finishing dinner but likely as much to gather her emotions. Here she was in her home with her loving husband and kids, and the only thing on her mind was how to fuck her husband's best friend tonight.

The relationship between Amy and Chris certainly had its ebbs and flows...often times there were long breaks without seeing each other. They had designed it this way, to prevent either of them from falling in too deep. But several times over the years they still fell into periods where all they could think about was being together. This was one of those times. They often became like teenagers, unable to keep their hands off each other. At these points, they had the hardest time keeping their dark secret. But in many ways it was also the most exciting and exhilarating time for them.

Amy finally emerged from the kitchen, dressed in a simple floral dress and knee high boots. It may have been simple, but it was driving Chris wild inside. Easy access, he thought inwardly. And so began his struggle to stay focused through dinner. Brian was doing well, but Chris could see he was tired, long hours in surgery will do that to the best of people. The kids were in their own little world as always, especially little Johnny, who was oblivious to the extra-long glances by Uncle Chris.

Amy noticed them, and sighed to herself. She loved Johnny with all her heart, but she also knew deep down his parentage represented a potential bomb that could destroy two families. For a while, it caused her to pull away from Chris, but recently they fell back into the same unbreakable patterns. In many ways, their lust returned stronger than ever after these breaks.

As dinner ended and the kids got ready for their school work and baths, Brian offered to take care of them for a while...really this was the only quality time he had with his kids and he needed to make the most of it. Amy mentioned she had to finish laundry downstairs, which was Chris' cue to go outside to make some follow up "business calls." In reality, he was heading right to the ground level entry to the Harris' basement, where Amy was waiting for him.

"We don't have much time, hurry up and put it in," breathed an incredibly hot Amy. "What's wrong, aren't you ready?"

"You have to be patient, I'm getting older it takes me a second, especially since I nearly bit my lip not getting aroused at dinner," joked Chris.

"Here let me help," said Amy as she kneeled down and fished Chris' cock out of his pants. Slowly she began licking and sucking him, taking time to hit the spots she had grown to know he liked. Within moments, Chris was hard.

As tempting as it was to continue the blowjob, Chris knew they didn't have much time and both needed something else. So he carefully pulled Amy up and lifted her on to the counter where she folded clothes. Amy had already taken off her panties, and she was incredibly wet, so Chris had no trouble sinking balls deep in one stroke.

Both groaned softly as they savored the penetration of his cock into her folds. In times like these, they had come to learn that all their senses were heightened when they had to remain as quiet as possible. Not being able to vocalize their pleasure only seemed to increase it.

Mostly, they kept quiet by keeping their mouths on each other, passionately kissing as Chris increased his tempo. Amy turned the washing machine on to drown out the noise they were making against the wall as they copulated. Sure, it increased the risk of not hearing someone come downstairs, but she knew her family well enough that it was unlikely.

"OH...OH...OH", grunted Chris.

"MMM-MMM-MMM," replied Amy.

Soon Chris picked up to the pace they both needed as they began the inexorable climb to their release. Amy's hands moved to Chris' butt to encourage him...as great and exciting as this was, they needed to cum before suspicions could be aroused. With the delicious feelings around her pussy, it wasn't going to be long for her.

Or for Chris. He grunted through several long strokes, then closed in eyes in ecstasy and thrust as far as humanly possible to eject his cargo into Amy's welcoming womb. As he came he buried his head in her soft cleavage...Amy gently kissing the top of his head as she came. Both remained as silent as possible, but could easily hear their hearts beating out of their chest as they reclaimed a measure of sanity.

After a few minutes of deep kissing, they realized they had to get back upstairs. It had been almost 30 minutes, so Brian would come looking for them shortly otherwise. Before she headed back upstairs, Amy looked at Chris and asked,

"Are we ever going to be able to end this?"

"How many times have we tried, Amy," replied Chris. "It only seems to work for a time. If we're not hurting anyone what's the harm?" He knew he was being selfish, but he was deep into Amy yet again and couldn't imagine giving her up right now.

"It's getting more risky, look at what we're doing...Brian or the kids could have come down at any second. I get there's a thrill in that for you, but so many bad things can happen. I can't keep risking my family because I can't resist your dick," said Amy sadly.

"Let's talk about this tomorrow," said Chris, somewhat dismissively. He knew it was right after the act when the guilt was greatest. "If you still want to stop then OK, but I think you know what will happen. Do I have to go through the history with you?"

"I know," said Amy. "But maybe we need to try again." With that, Amy brought her laundry up the stairs.

Chris sighed and walked out to the backyard, phone in hand to complete his deception. He knew Amy was right, but he also knew their history of failure in this regard. It was time for him to leave and think. He said his goodbyes to Brian, who was practically ready to fall asleep on the couch, and to Amy and the kids as they got ready for bed. The hug with Amy lingered longer than it should, but no one noticed.

As he entered his rental car for the drive back to his hotel, he thought back on the 16 years of history between him and Amy, and to the one time he thought they had both moved past their chemical attraction, only to be proven terribly wrong.

AUGUST 2002

Chris Barnes exited the tuxedo rental place on a typically hot and humid August day in southeastern Pennsylvania. He was with Brian and his other groomsmen as they picked up their tuxedos for Brian's wedding in two days. Next, they were to meet up with Amy and her bridal party for a get together before her Hen night in Philadelphia and Brian's bachelor party in Atlantic City.

Upon entering the chain restaurant in a strip mall that was the appointed launching off place, Chris immediately located Amy. She looked as gorgeous as ever, but Chris had learned to not have any reaction to this (or at least push it down as much as possible). Amy saw and ran toward them, hugging her fiancé.

"Are you guys ready for your big Stag night in AC?" joked Amy. She wasn't really nervous, she knew Brian would never do anything he'd regret, and she was actually happy Chris would be there with him; he would never allow anything too wild to happen.

"As ready as I'll ever be, but believe me I'd rather stay with you," said Brian in a sweet voice that made Amy's heart melt.

"Don't worry I'll take good care of him. At most, only three strippers will slap their boobs in his face, four tops," joked Chris, earning him a playful jab from Amy.

"Well have fun guys, and don't do anything I wouldn't do," said Amy. As soon as she said the last part, she turned to Chris and both shared a meaningful glance. Memories were still memories, after all.

As the guys left to head on the party bus to AC, Amy began thinking of those memories. Actually she had been thinking of them a lot lately. Not because she wanted to rekindle things with Chris, that could only end badly, but she admitted to being a little unsure of the state of her relationship with Brian.

She loved him and wanted to marry him more than anything, but she was acutely aware that right after the honeymoon Brian would be beginning his residency at UPenn Presbyterian, the top hospital for cardiology in Philadelphia. She knew the life of a resident and future heart surgeon involved long hours away from their families. Amy knew Brian could get wrapped up in his job again like he did in medical school, and she wasn't sure how she'd cope with that.

She knew how she dealt with it last time, and that was not an option, even if only in furtive moments she thought often of Chris, and how he helped her forget. Besides, it seemed like he was doing well in his relationship with Elizabeth, who she really liked and seemed good for him. When they first ended their affair 18 months ago, there was always a definite tension between them, but almost all of that had disappeared now. That was a good thing right?

Sometimes Amy was not so sure. She couldn't deny at times she missed the excitement of her affair with Chris, and though he was the only other man besides Brian she had been with, it still felt like he could excite her like no one else. But those days were over...best not to think about them.

As the bus pulled up to the lobby at Caesars, Chris got out with the rest of the (mostly drunk) party of guys, all eager to hit one of the seedy strip clubs a few blocks off the Boardwalk. For the most part, Chris just would have rather stayed in the casino and gambled a little then gone to bed, but he forced himself to be there for his friend.

Brian actually was just as uncomfortable in these kinds of places as Chris. Neither of them could ever really get over the fact that you were paying women to grind on you. Something about it seemed demeaning to the women, as well as not being particularly arousing for them. Mostly both of them just stayed at the bar and talked.

"You sure you don't want one lap dance, last chance before you're a taken man," Chris prodded gently.

"Nah, I'm good, you know how I feel about these places," said Brian. "Anyway I already have the girl I want, no one else compares."

Ah yes, that girl, thought Chris to himself. He had consumed several beers, so as a result his mind began to wander...to that girl, and her blonde hair, and tight pussy, and perky breasts with those freckles around her chest...god he could spend a week kissing up and down those freckles...

..."How's Elizabeth doing?," came a voice almost out of the ether, quickly identified as Brian. "You OK, you looked like you were a million miles away,"

"I'm good, guess I can't hold the liquor like I used to," joked Chris to cover his thoughts. "Liz is great...I really think she might be the one. Maybe it's all the wedding talk, but I'm seriously thinking I might pop the question soon."

Chris was not blowing smoke here. Elizabeth, or Liz as he had come to call her, had really won his heart. And though she didn't realize it, she helped him get over his feelings for one unattainable girl, who for some reason had just invaded his thoughts...why did that happen?

"That's great man, I can't wait to tell Amy she'll be so happy for you. You don't mind if I tell her?" Brian said.

"No but I don't have anything planned yet so make sure she keeps her big mouth shut for now," laughed Chris. That laugh hid a deep sense of unease in him. How would Amy feel about him getting married? At this point she probably wouldn't even care, they had both moved on right? In his semi-drunken state, Chris realized a large part of him kind of hoped she wouldn't take it well.

"How 'bout you and I call it a night and leave these fools to their debauchery," smiled Chris. He and Brian walked back to the casino and hung out for a while, before turning in. Not much of a bachelor party, but these two were never party animals. Besides, they needed to get back for the rehearsal dinner the next evening.

At the dinner the next night, Brian excitedly pulled Amy aside to tell him their friend's news..."You'll never believe it, but Chris is going to ask Elizabeth to marry him...he doesn't have it planned out yet so you can't tell anyone, but how great is that?"

"Wonderful!" said Amy, plastering on her best smile, but in reality the news left a gnawing pit in her stomach. So he had finally moved on, she thought sadly. Part of her wished he was pining for her endlessly...don't we all want that attention sometimes? But part of her realized in many ways she could never move on fully herself.

At that point, she spotted Chris across the room, dressed in his best suit, looking handsome. His girlfriend wouldn't arrive until the morning for the wedding, so he was flying solo tonight. Brian was talking with his family, so Amy took the opportunity to speak to Chris. But not before quickly imbibing a glass of liquid courage.

"So, you're popping the question, huh?" said Amy with a slight edge in her voice. "What does this girl have to land the great Chris Barnes?"

"Liz is a great girl, I'm lucky to have her." Chris said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Oh she's Liz now, what other pet names do you have for her?" hissed Amy.

"Hold on a second," retorted Chris as he pulled Amy into a quiet part of the restaurant. "Where is this coming from, you're the one getting married tomorrow, why do you care what I do or who I'm seeing?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know what just came over me," replied Amy truthfully as she calmed down. "I'm just a little nervous because Brian is starting this big job after our honeymoon and I'm afraid it will be like before, when he was in med school."

Chris knew all too well what that was like...but most of his memories were of being balls deep in Amy's pussy..."why are these thoughts popping into my head all of a sudden," scolded Chris to himself. He needed to extricate himself from this conversation.

"Don't worry Amy, Brian's a different guy now...if you'll excuse me I need to use the bathroom," he said hastily, leaving Amy alone and confused.

"Why is he being so cold?" thought Amy..."I thought he cared about me...I mean about Brian," At that point Brian returned and they sat down to begin the meal. Throughout, she couldn't help looking over at the table where Chris was..."god he looks so handsome in his suit"..."he seems upset"..."maybe he doesn't really want to marry Elizabeth...or Liz." All of these thoughts were running through her head, and before she knew it the meal was over.

As Brian and she were saying their goodbyes before their last night as single people, she noticed Chris was nowhere to be found.

"Did Chris leave?" asked Amy, trying her best to hide her extreme interest in the answer to this question from Brian.

"Yeah, he said he had a headache and wanted to turn in early. Between you and me, I think he had a little too much to drink last night," said Brian.

"Oh, OK," Amy said casually, but as she drove back to her parents' house, where she was staying the night, she suspected there was a lot more on Chris' mind than a headache. She wondered, was he going to use the wedding, her wedding, as the chance to propose to Elizabeth?

All of a sudden, Amy felt an unwavering urge to talk to him. She had to make sure he was proposing for the right reasons, after all she was his friend now too right? She made an excuse to her parents about being too excited to sleep and needing to take a drive, and set out to the hotel where Chris was staying with the other groomsmen (Brian was staying with his parents, like she was).

On the drive there, she realized what if someone else saw her? Not only were the groomsmen staying there, but also her bridal party and many of the guests. How could she explain being there, at this late hour? At that moment, she didn't care...she had to talk to Chris and make sure he wasn't making a huge mistake. She slipped onto his floor undetected (Brian had been thoughtful enough to get him a room on a different floor from the other rowdy groomsmen) and knocked on his door.

Chris opened the door to the last person he expected to see on the night before her wedding. She was still wearing the same figure hugging silver dress she had on at the dinner, which showed just enough cleavage (and freckles) to drive certain men wild.

"Amy, what are you doing here...everything OK with Brian," he managed to spit out.

"Yeah, he's fine, I needed to talk to you. I'm worried you're rushing into things with Elizabeth," she said quickly.

In truth, he wished he hadn't said anything to Brian, proposing was something he had just begun to put thought to, and he had no immediate plan to do it. But the look of terror on Amy's face told him more than her words, and his cock stirred uncomfortably in his pants. Suddenly, he was gripped with another emotion, anger. Amy was the one getting married tomorrow, and she's freaking out that I might propose to someone?

"Frankly, it's none of your business Amy. And why do you care anyway, shouldn't you be worried about tomorrow?"

"But I care about you, I don't want to see you make a mistake. And I didn't know if I'd get the chance to tell you that before you asked her," pleaded Amy.

So, she did think he was proposing, and it had freaked her out. Good, he thought. But in that moment, his desires began to win out over his anger again. Things he hadn't felt in almost two years came back like they never left. Suddenly, something he said to this same woman a long time ago entered his mind.

"I know why you're really here," Chris growled as he pulled Amy into his room before anyone could see. As soon as the door closed, he was passionately kissing her up against it and feeling every part of her body with his hands. Amy put up token resistance before giving herself fully to the moment.

"Oh, don't stop Chris, I've missed this, I missed your touch, I missed you," Amy moaned as she literally dove her tongue into his mouth. If either of them were thinking rationally, they would realize how absurd it was to be making out the night before she was marrying his best friend. But rational thought had left them, and in its place were memories of how two bodies fit together perfectly. In an instant, both of them decided they needed this.