Patriots in Private

Prologue

Sally sighed and set aside her phone. On the screen, a Mewtube video was playing, showing Jethro sweeping a pile of garbage - mostly sex toys and other junk that people had sent them - off the table. The occupation wasn't going as planned.

It was one thing, when that no-good moneygrabber Sid took off with all of their cash, but it's another when the call for support for their legitimate and patriotic cause was answered with ridicule and, honestly, less than helpful gifts. Had Jehro not specified "gear" and "cold weather equipment"? What had floppy rubber dicks got to do with cold weather? People could've been sending socks, or something, instead of beimg such dicks.

Sally chuckled. Dicks, sending dicks, she thought. The joke amused her. She grabbed her phone and started recording yet another one of her video messages, trying to make people understand about the sincerity and importantness... importancy... the import of their cause. She was their spokeswoman after all. "Jethro and Sid have been fighting," she started, "and then he took off with all our money..."

Chapter 1

When she pulled into the driveway of the refuge later, she was surprised for a moment. There was nobody on watch, which was unlike them. That fella Jimbo was always so vigilant, all professional like, being a militiary man and all that, just like his dad. He would always have someone on watch, to guard them from the federal government tyrannists who want to take all our land and stuff. Frankly, all of that was a little too complicated for her, but Jethro seemed knowledgeable and so she trusted his judgement.

The driveway was dark, the sheriff had gone for the day. Those federal types didn't hang around after dark, but you never know, Jeth had said. She locked up and walked to the back door, which was their secret entrance and usually unlocked. Not that they could've locked it, she thought. It's not like the feds had handed over the keys.

When she went inside, she almost tripped over the pile of packaging and discarded donations that littered the floor. She cursed, then sent a quick "sorry" up above, to make up for it. When she looked down, her eyes widened. She didn't know there were so many sex toys that people had sent. Curious, she picked one up that looked like a two-foot-long, double-ended pink penis, weighing and turning it in her hands.

She wondered how people use these, with it being double-ended and all that. Like a double barrelled shotgun, she thought and chuckled. Shotgun. Haha. A voice from the next room startled her. "Yeah, that's how you do it," she could hear Bob say, muffled through a closed door. Those boys, she thought, always hard at work, doing things for the good cause, when she heard a slightly different sound right after that - something more like a moan, or a grunt. Startled, she scurried over to the door, and peeked through.

There was Bob, her boyfriend, wearing his flannel shirt and the warm wool vest she had made for him, the baseball cap with the eagle on it, and his jeans, which were weirdly around his ankles, while Jethro knelt in front of him, and looked like he was doing something there... His head bobbing back and forth? Sally looked closer. Was that Bob's penis? It couldn't be... or could it? It looked all hard, and, looking at it from the side, it seemed longer than she remembered? Maybe the boys just played around with the toys?

She opened the door and went in. Bob stared at her like a deer in the headlight, and Jethro quickly pulled his head back, clearing his throat. Yes, it was definitely Bob's dick, now jerking and flopping by itself, as he stammered something, while she saw the shaft twitch and pulse, before it shot a load of cum on Jethro's gruff beard, leaving sticky globs.

Sally grew furious. "You're a damn pig, Bob Clover," she yelled, waving the floppy rubber cock at him. "A damn pig! Don't you think I'll ever be doing that for you again. And you!" she pointed the thick end of the dildo at Jethro. "You're worse than a pig! You're a pig fucker!"

Slamming the door behind her, Sally stomped out of the Bad Luck County Wildlife Refuge and back into her car, throwing the dildo on the passenger seat and drove off with screeching wheels.

Chapter 2

Back at the motel room, she leaned against the door for a moment after she had locked it behind herself, just scuffled over to the bed. That was it, she thought. The whole cause was a betrayal. Just like that pig Bob, who betrayed her with that stupid, greasy, stinking mitia... militarya... militiary guy Jethro. She turned on the phone and set it to video recording. She was still their spokeswoman, after all, and boy, did she have a message to send.

"I just checked on the guys," she began, trying hard to hold back her anger, and failing quickly. "And they're doing great. So good that they're sucking each other off!" Her voice got louder and less pronounced than usual. "Tha'ss right, Jethro, you've been sucking 'f Bob! W' his dick in yer mouth, you greasy pig! Fucker! Pig fucker!"

She was practically yelling at that point, getting ever more enraged. Then, a brilliant idea came to her mind. It instantly calmed her down. "You know what?" she said into the phone, with a wistful look on her face. "I think I understand now why everyone keeps sending them sex toys. So let me give y'all a demonstretation." She reached over to the long floppy dildo and turned it between her fingers again. She didn't want to leave it out in the car, people might think her indecent or something like that, so she had brought it with her to the room, and now it made for the perfect prop.

"So, Jethro goes on his knees, and he's got Bob's dick in his mouth, like this," she began, and then slowly took one end of the dildo between her lips. The girth and thickness of the thing made her gag, and drool a little, but she kept moving it in and out, just so everyone could see exactly how Jethro did that thing with Bob. Everyone. "Everyone," she said, gasping for breath as she took the dildo out again. "This is how they did it. Sucking each other like that. And then... plllrt." She made a bubbling sound with her lips, imitating the ejaculation. "All over his beard. The whole sticky mess."

"And you know, guys," she continued conspiratorily. "Bob's not even that big. I mean, this here..." she wiggled the dildo in front of the phone, "this here's a monster, compared to Bob. He's all tiny, like. Except when Jethro sucks him. Then he seems to get bigger. Not a lot, but, y'know, every little bit helps." She eyed the dildo thoughtfully. "This one's really good, though," she said, after a minute of deliberations, for the first time aware of how good the thick hard knob felt inside her mouth. Mesmerized, she brought it back up, licking it carefully before inserting it again, this time sucking it slowly, enjoying the feeling of its tip hitting the roof of her mouth, filling it all up.

Was it getting hot in here? Sally slurped and sucked on the rubber cock, massaging it with her tongue, when somehow, involuntarily, she grabbed her breast with one hand, squeezing it through her sweater. This thick dildo turned her on more than she knew! She slipped the hand under the sweater, running it over her heavy, saggy breast, lost in the moment. Surely, nobody could see what she was doing underneath her sweater, right? So it was all still part of the deminostration.

Damn, her nipple was hard! For a moment she was amazed at herself, never having felt anything like this. At home, sex toys were strictly forbidden, but so was getting sucked off by a guy, so turnabout's fair play, she thought. But damn, it was hot in here. Not able to stand it anymore, she finally pulled off her sweater, her large breasts bouncing down to her belly. She grabbed them again, cock in mouth, and began to squeeze and rub them, pinching her nipples and trapping the long floppy shaft in her cleavage until it looked like her tits got fucked by a foot-long pink demon cock.

Saliva was running down the side of the dildo and settled between her tits, making them slippery, until she actually could rub it between them, but that wasn't enough anymore. Opening her pants with shaking hands, she hastily pushed them off and fumbled with the other end of the cock, trying to get it into her pussy. It slid right in, lubricated by an abundance of wetness, but came just as easily back out, as she got more and more wet and excited. This was new. This was amazing. This was something she had never thought she could have.

For a moment, she tried to push the one end into her muff, while still sucking on the other end in her mouth, but finally had to give up. Her tits and belly got in the way, and so her lips just let go of the dick with a sigh and she leaned back, spreading her legs far, and pushing the cock into her cunt as deep as she could. It was long enough that she could hold onto it with both hands while still drilling it in further, pounding her twat with all her strength. This was the chance of a lifetime, and she was bound to use it!

Her thick, brunette pubes began to get sticky with the juices that came oozing out of her pussy, but Sally didn't care anymore. She wanted this fuck, and was going to enjoy it to the fullest. With the other end of the double-headed snake flopping around between her legs, she writhed and tossed around on the bed, pushing herself further and further to a wonderful, blissful climax. Then, not knowing why or how, she reached around with her other hand and took the other end of the dildo, slick from saliva, bent it and stuck it up her ass.

Just like that, she thought. It went in just like that. But god, what a feeling! What a glorious sensation. Both holes now filled deep and wide, she groaned and whimpered, tussling her hair, twisting on the bed and finally, with a long, high-pitched yell, she came. Her pussy tightened, pushing the dildo out of her wet cunt hole, leaving her agape, only to be followed by a gush of juice that hit the bed and sprayed all the way over to the phone.

Exhausted, Sally lay there for a moment, her arms and legs stretched out all over the bed, the other end of the dildo still firmly lodged in her asshole. Then, she looked down at the mess she made, turned over, and crawled on all fours up to the phone, her heavy, saggy tits dangling underneath her, the dildo slapping against her thighs between her legs. Her stream suddenly had doubled in numbers. Nay, tripled, probably. What came after tripled? She was never good with numbers, but it was a lot.

Epilogue

Sally sat the bags of groceries on the table. There were beans and rice, cans of beer, some jerky, everything her guys needed. Bob was still embarrassed about that whole thing with Jethro, and she certainly didn't want to talk about it either, but things had settled down a little bit in the past few days. "Thanks," he said. "How'd we pay for all this stuff?"

"Oh, you know," Sally replied, "people just really really support you guys. I think my messages are finally getting the word out and all. I'm getting a lot of donations since I've become so... engaged in the whole thing." She searched the room for new packages, spotting a few unopened ones in the corner.

"Yeah, well, all people keep sending us are those damn sex toys," Jethro grumbled, the only one who wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed about it all. "It's like they don't even know what we're doing here."

Sally smiled. "Oh, don't you worry," she said as she stacked the boxes and picked them up. "I'll take care of those. They're making us good money."

"On B-bay, huh?" Jethro asked, with a disgusted look on his face. "People are buying all kinds of crap on that internet!"

"B-bay, right," Sally said, already on her way out to the car, balancing the stack of boxes in her hands. "See you guys later, gotta get this taken care of."

Bob sighed, watching as the door fell close behind her. "She's so understanding," he said. "It's like her heart is really with the cause."

Jethro stepped up to him and ran his hands playfully down his chest, grabbing his pouchy beer belly. "Mmh," he purred into Bob's ear. "As long as your dick is really with my cause, we'll all be alright."

Bob smiled. This way, their fight against the tyrannical federal government could go on for a long time, as far as he was concerned.