BikerMaster

i have taken much time in writing this piece, as i wanted to try and paint a true vision of my Biker Master.

Biker seems harsh doesn’t He? Well, He can be, but there is much more to Him than what one might see at first glance. i see Him as not much different than most Masters. As a Master, He is rigid in what He desires of a slave. His will must be adhered to. There is no negotiating. He can’t be manipulated. Would any slave want a Master she could twist to her will? He will not be backed into a corner. He does not tolerate back talk, arguing, a disrespectful tone, or screaming. He never hears the word no, His number one rule.

There is also a side to Him i never wish to see again. This side most Master’s refer too as their “Dark Side”. It’s hard not to cringe when in the presence of that. One would have to experience it to fully understand the effect it has on you. It’s savage, animal like, territorial and cold. Biker says, “ It is a person He does not like to have show up”. My perception is that their entire manner changes in a split second. They are no longer the person you know so well but a complete and utter stranger, but in His eyes i am His to do with as He chooses or not. my thoughts, feelings, and desires at that time are non-existent.

A Dom friend gave this insight of the Dark Side: “ I usually embrace it. It's kind of natural. It’s like Dom space, just a point that I am so involved that nothing else matters. My eyes narrow, and I know my face changes. My sub tells me my whole person changes. It is an intense place. It's fragile. When I get there. I am possessed with what I am doing. That’s when the most outrageous shit can happen. He laughed. He told me that i had helped take Biker to that place.” i asked how? He said, “that I should be happy. That i was the other half.” That if i had been whining, complaining He wouldn't be able to go to the Dark Side. He would have just said fuck it!” Had i done so, Biker would have been gone. “So you helped put Him there. Enjoy it ” He said. i said sorry, i couldn’t. He went on to say it takes things to the edge, and edgy is dangerous, and thrilling. But to me it is hard to see Him change from someone i know, to someone i don’t. His remark to me was “you know and love them both. That’s what makes Him, Biker Master!”

How do i feel about, cope with the DarkSide? i cope with it by retreating inside myself, going quiet as death. It makes me feel very alone. There have been a few times when i saw it briefly. Even after we were married. i always knew that if i failed Him i could still be tossed away. There is the fear, feeling that He might just do that, that He could in fact toss me out. He has reminded me those few times that His rules stand, that if i didnt like it i could leave. Some of those times, i didn’t think i deserved it. Deep inside me lives an insecurity still that i can’t seem to rid myself of.

A friend said this to me,” I have a feeling Biker is strong enough to sort out any problem that might arise, you may not enjoy the sorting, but I doubt He would toss you aside”. This friend also said, “I've listened to Him talk, despite His dark side, He is a "softy" and I think He loves you a great deal”. i must add here that Biker would never physically abuse me, i will admit for my part i felt abused, mentally and emotionally. Harsh words, sometimes cruel words, ignored for days, but they brought me to my knees where i belonged, as His slave, Not physically on my knees but spiritually. No paddle, whip, or crop could ever hurt me as deeply or more profoundly as those methods of punishment. In His way there would be reconciliation, but never an apology. i could not forgive myself for months after having failed Him. He has rebuked me for saying i failed Him. For Biker only disloyalty or betrayal would be failure.

Someone asked me, “Why the need to be there...Why not just His wife, His equal, caring for Him like in a vanilla marriage. Why the need to go to this extreme, accept all He gives you and want to be brought to your knees?” i had to say i didn’t know. All i do know is i love and adore this man i call Master, that i seek to fulfill His ever need and desire, and see Him smile at me. To find favor with Him is all that i live for. To see His eyes light up with kindness when i am pleasing, in having His hands touching, caressing, and strong-arms holding me. i delight in sitting beside Him, being in His bed at night, Knowing i have earned that privilege. His tenderness when holding me in His arms brings comfort and solace to me. To hear His laughter ringing in my ears brings laughter to me.

A female sub friend said this to me,” i have seen and felt the tranquility of Him too. i have seen how you melt with just one tender look from Him. i have seen the love He has for you in His eyes and heard the playfulness in the tone of His voice. Yes Biker is harsh, but also loving. No longer than i have been around Biker. i have seen both sides.”

my Biker is a complex man; maybe that’s what attracted me to Him from the beginning.

His sense of humor is wonderful. He is quick witted and enjoys a good joke. His love for family is unparallel. He dotes on our children. His delight when the children visit unabashed. He is open with them, and to watch Him play with our seven grandchildren is a sight to behold. His eldest grandson is His buddy. The new additions, Angel, Kylie and Alex are infants. Biker can hold them softy and they are quiet or He is tossing them up and cooing at them. His granddaughter Alexus is His pride and joy. He has a love for animals, that boundless. We have at present five dogs and a cat. A few months back our dog Beauty was pregnant. The day the puppies were born we had been gone for the day and came back to find she had given birth to seven black puppies. He sat constantly by her side on the ground at the back of our house. He talked to her in soothing tones and with such endearments, telling her what beautiful job she was doing and picking each puppy up in turn, talking to, and kissing them .He stayed right with her. He had too, about every thirty minutes or so she would give birth to another. This went on through the evening. When Beauty was finished we sat there by her side, holding and cuddling a total of fourteen black puppies. Through out the night He would slip out back with a flashlight to check on those precious creatures. i have seen Him drop down onto the ground and have fourteen dogs crawling all over Him. He would be chuckling as they nipped at His arms, legs, ears and nose.

The times He cuddles with me on the sofa or in bed, stroking my hair, touching me tenderly. His sweet wicked gentle laughter as He teases me endlessly, with His hands rolling over my breasts or fondling my clit until it becomes torturous. Then He stops and leaves me in frustrating agony, only to repeat this action day in and day out for weeks at a time. Many times He has then rolled over and gone to sleep, and me getting up, unable to get to sleep for hours. i might go make coffee and sit on the computer working. Or cry the frustration out. Other times i turn on the TV and sit, staring blankly at the screen not able to get interested, some times all of the above.

The next morning He pretends He has no idea why i did not get any sleep. i can hear Him quietly snickering under His breath. Do i ever get angry? Yes. Does He ever see i am? No. i do lots of begging, talking to Him about how i need a release. Does it do any good? No. i live on the proverbial edge. i have has other slave/subs ask me how can i stand it they would be insane. i tell them i am. Some say they would never serve a Master like mine. i just respond that they don’t have too. In warmer weather i take long walks in an attempt to work off my frustration. When the weather is not conducive for walking i throw myself into housework, tearing through the house with a crazy, mindless flurry. Does He know what this activity is about? i am sure He does and takes great delight in knowing. His torment never ceases. While i am serving Him coffee or making dinner, He will slip up behind me and toy with me, which stops me in my tracks. How can one possibly concentrate, while a hand is between your legs? When loading wood into the woodstove, i have to bend over, so He then decides to run His hand up my skirt between my legs or along my ass, or pretend to hump me. i would reveal my pet name for Him here but He says “ not only No but, Hell Fuck No!”

How often i am led to think that play will come that evening, only to find out it will be the same repeat performance. After a period of this same behavioral pattern Biker does deem me worthy for a major release. After some hours of play, (flogging, spankings biting, anal, cunt use, fisting, etc.) i am once again sane and happy. This is short lived for then follows the pattern of torture again.

There are many facets that make up my Biker Master. Yes, He can be cruel, harsh and rigid, But He is also kind, loving and caring, and extremely Wicked. i love Him with the fullness of my heart, soul, mind and entire being.

slave