Where the Lines Overlap Ch. 09

"So, what's the problem?" Will asked.

"Problem?" I replied, not really sure if I wanted to talk to Will about this. Sure, I said I needed a listening ear, but I was expecting someone I was close to, like Alena or Ken. I mean, I admired Will and all but I still wouldn't consider him a friend.

"Please. I don't need to be a psychologist to know that something is bothering you," Will said, arching an eyebrow at me. I remained silent, still contemplating if I really did want to tell Will what was bothering me. He was a specialist in natal - elite communications and the thing between Taron and me definitely fell under his jurisdiction.

"It's about Taron, isn't it?" he probed, making me sigh at the sound of his name. My chest constricted at the thought of the things that transpired just earlier that afternoon, making it almost laborious to breathe. Will's sigh brought my attention to him.

"It's...nothing," I said, feeling ever closer to just coming clean and yet still having my walls up.

"Kev, you can't let him keep doing this. It's not right. Especially so seeing that you're one of Alena's best friends. Personally, a prejudice elite is worse than any natal to me," he said and his words caught my attention. I had assumed that Alena had told Will about the relationship that Taron and I had, but from his words I knew that that wasn't the case. He still thought that Taron was classist, and the idea that someone had that notion of him had me speaking before I could stop myself.

"He's not," I said.

"You need to stop protecting him Kev. I don't know if it's because you're blaming yourself or what, but classism isn't the victims fault. I mean it when I say that prejudice does not deserve to be protected," he said, further proving that he really did think that Taron was classist.

"No, I'm not protecting him," I rebutted, but in a way I was lying. No, I was telling the truth in that I wasn't protecting Taron because he was classist. The fact of the matter was, as much as I hated to admit it, I was protecting him from not being a classist.

"It sure seems that way to me."

"He's not classist. I'm dating him," I rushed out, before Will could interrupt me. For some reason, I didn't want anyone, especially Will, to have a bad impression of Taron, regardless of the fact that we were no longer dating and I was still slightly peeved at his comment earlier on. That made me realize that I had said I was dating him. "Well, I was anyway. Dating him, I mean," I quickly corrected.

Will stood there, looking somewhat stunned. His mouth hung slightly agape, eyebrows raised and eyes bulging. I didn't say anything, knowing that this was all pretty shocking for him, seeing that he thought Taron was still picking on me. "Dating?" he finally muttered, as if unsure if he had heard me right.

I sighed, knowing full well that I was going to be talking to Will about this, even if I hadn't planned to. I mentally kicked myself for cracking so easily. All I had to do was pretend that Will was right, say that I did in fact, put Taron in his place. But of course I loved him so much that I couldn't stand the fact that someone was badmouthing him. I hated that I love him. "Yeah, we were dating."

"Wait, we're talking about the same Taron here right? Taron Wolfrum? The same Taron that you admitted teased you in our interview those weeks ago?" Will asked.

"I never admitted that he teased me," I said, recalling that I hadn't said anything bad about Taron specifically. It was Will who assumed.

"You didn't deny it though," Will argued.

"Which doesn't mean that he did," I retorted. "Besides, the Taron I talked about and this Taron aren't the same person." At this, the confusion on Will's face only got worse and I realized how vague I was being. "I'm not making sense. I meant, that yes, they are the same person, but they're not the same person."

"Would you care to elaborate?" Will asked, taking a seat across from me.

"The Taron that I talked about during the interview, was an obnoxious guy that I had no idea why I had a crush on," I started.

"You mean you already liked him when we had that interview?" Will asked.

"Can I finish?" I asked, getting slightly annoyed with Will's interruptions. Will raised his hands in surrender and motioned for me to continue. "As I was saying, that Taron was an obnoxious prick. But it turns out he's anything but. He's a sweet and charming guy, who apparently had a crush of his own on me. He was anything but classist and he, more than anyone else, believed that our relationship meant something. Even I had my reservations." I chuckled, not out of humor but self loathing. "I guess in a way, I was the classist in our relationship."

"So why did you break up with him then?" Will asked.

"What makes you think I was the one who dumped him?" I replied, slightly insulted that he had automatically assume it was me, even though it was true.

"Just a feeling, and judging by your reaction I can assume I'm right," he said, smirking. I rolled my eyes, but sighed nonetheless. "So, my question is why?" I looked up at him, but didn't say anything. "I mean, if he is everything that you say he is, it seems logical that you wouldn't want to break up with him, so you can't blame me if I think that all this is a little strange on your part."

"It's a lot of things actually. My posting. Moving, Peoples perception of us," I started. "It's complicated," I said simply, giving the most generic and vague answer known to man.

"Relationship hardly aren't to be honest, at least not the interesting ones," he said.

"Is your relationship complicated?" I asked, a little as a joke but I was genuinely curious too.

"Nope, not at all. Not anymore at least."

"So, in other words you're saying your marriage is boring?" I smirked. "What would Thane think?"

"No, our marriage is certainly not boring," he said, smiling and shaking his head. "You'll probably understand this when you've been in a long term relationship, but relationships don't always get boring. Yes some people say that once you're married and all that, things start to die down. I mean, sure things cool off. The intense feeling you have in your chest when you see the love of your life slowly dims to a glow, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's not so much about being boring, but more about being comfortable. After a while, your relationship becomes comfortable. You relax around each other, no longer putting on any kind of facade, but literally just being you. To someone who's madly in love this might seem dull, but there is a satisfaction in being comfortable. I'm very comfortable with Thane, as I'm sure he is with me, and somehow that just makes me love him all the more. It's not the burning passionate love we had early in our relationship, but a strong slow flame that keeps you warm."

As Will stopped, it was my turn to be shocked. I had been somewhat playing with my question, but his words about relationships did resonate with me. I mean, I knew that relationships slowly faded. Most kids see it in their parents, but a lot of times people thing that that means the love is also fading. Will's words told me that sometimes that was just not true. I thought back to my own parents, and sure they may not be all kissy and lovey, which I'm glad if you ask me, but I knew that they still loved each other.

But would I ever reach that point where I could become comfortable in a relationship? I knew for a fact that I wasn't when I was with Taron. I mean, how comfortable could I be if I was constantly worrying about whether or not he would leave me for someone better. It wasn't comfortable. It was borderline neurotic.

Will chuckled, pulling me from my thoughts. "I know what you're thinking," he said and I blushed. Was I really that easy to read? "It's okay if you don't feel comfortable in a relationship. I wasn't when I got together with Thane, of course that could have been due to the fact that what Thane and I had was on the cusps of being illegal at the time."

"That must have been hard, feeling like everyone around you would not accept you for just being yourself," I said.

"I'm not gonna lie and say it wasn't, because it was. I didn't even want to get together with Thane because I was so scared that someone would find out I was gay and kill me or something," Will said and chuckled to himself, though I didn't know why. Probably an inside joke he had. "So anyway, yeah it was hard, but things worked out in the end. I got together with Thane and we eventually got married. Now we're living comfortable lives in our comfortable marriage, so even if you don't think you'll get there, you probably will one day."

"How did this devolve into a heart to heart conversations about relationships?" I asked, smiling as I said this.

"Beats me," Will replied, laughing as well. "But I guess it's the same thing with Taron for you. You have to realize what you want. Whether it be a life with Taron or someone else in the future, only you can decide. Sure, I want you two to get together but I could be biased because I want there to be an interclass relationship," he said, getting up from his seat. "I'll let you think about it. In the meantime, I have to go teach my husband a lesson about slandering me to our daughter."

He was halfway out the kitchen when I said, "Is that what elites call sex these days?"

"Well I did say that our relationship wasn't boring, didn't I?" he smirked as he left.

I laughed, shaking my head as I watched his retreating form leave the kitchen. Silence engulfed me, not even the smallest of sounds to disturb the peace. The house was so big, it was no wonder that you wouldn't hear anyone around, even with at least three other people and one very vocal droid.

I took the moment of solitude to think about what Will had said. He didn't give me an outright answer to the question that I was asking myself, partly because I hadn't actually voiced that question to Will, but his words did give me a little more insight into how I handled the situation.

In all of this, I had been focused on Taron. How dating me would have been tough for him as an elite. How he had to deal with my constant insecurities. How I was the one who had to move away because of my job. While it's true that a part of me did truly believe that all this affected both of us and not just him, I realized just how much I had thought about him rather than myself.

Sure, some people might argue that that was what love was. Compromise and putting the needs of someone else before your own, but don't people always say that you have to think of yourself every now and then? Not doing so would just lead to a life of self loathing, would it not?

So I thought about that. About me and how all this had affected me...but I couldn't. Believe me, I wanted to be selfish and think about all the different ways that I had been wronged or the things I had sacrificed for the sake of our relationship, but there wasn't much.

Everything about us benefitted me in one way or another. I was dating up, way above my social status. Taron didn't have insecurities that I had to deal with. He had insecurities, yes, but none of which he had put onto me to help him deal with. Taron had been nothing short of the perfect boyfriend and I suddenly had a feeling like everything I had done, had been one huge mistake.

We could have worked through our differences. Could have braved the difficulties together as a couple. We would have been happy together. Right?

But that was the thing. I could have believed that we could work, but the fact of the matter was that I had too much baggage. It wasn't so much that I thought that our relationship wasn't strong enough to brave the hardship, but how would Taron feel about that? Would he eventually grow tired of me? Would the pressure put on by his parents end up wrecking his relationship with them? Would Taron reach a point where he could no longer put up with my bullshit?

These were all legitimate reasons that swam in my head, and I finally realized the selfish part of myself. The part that was thinking about only me. I broke up with Taron because I couldn't deal with the possibility that Taron could one day hate me. That he could one day look at me and have nothing but distaste. I could take it if he hated me because he didn't love me, or that he finds me annoying or something. But to have him hate me for ruining his life, for taking away the opportunities that he could have experienced without me by his side, that I couldn't handle.

"Hey," a sweet voice called, pulling me from my thoughts. I turned in the direction of the familiar voice, seeing Alena walk in with a smile on her face. "Steve told me you were in here."

I returned a small smile myself, "Hi,"

"Why the surprise visit? You usually call to make sure I'm here before appearing at my door," she said, stopping before a thoughtful look graced her face. "Come to think of it, you never appear at my door. I always come pick you up."

I chuckled, drumming my fingers on the kitchen island. "Yeah, I needed to talk to you."

"Uh oh, that doesn't sound good," she said, sitting across from me and putting her small hand over mine. "What's wrong?"

I sighed, but told her everything. I didn't even hesitate, seeing that I came here to talk to her about it in the first place. That, and coupled with the talk I had with Will earlier, had me spilling everything without a moment's pause.

When I was done, I took a deep breath but kept my eyes off of Alena's face. It wasn't that I thought she would judge me for my decision, okay maybe a little, but more the fact that even I didn't like what I was saying, so I knew that she wouldn't have liked it either. Her hand, which through my rant had been resting over mine, slowly pulled away and I knew that she was angrier than I thought. The way her hand slid away, made me feel like she was abandoning me. I had just lost my boyfriend, and apparently I was about to lose my best friend too.

"Why?" she asked, her voice almost cold. At first I didn't speak, unsure of what to say. I knew my reasons, I had just come to that conclusion moments before Alena came back, but I was having a hard time communicating them. Before I could answer, Alena spoke again, "Actually, you don't need to answer that. I know why."

I looked up at her finally, and seeing anger plastered onto her features. I was expecting her to be furious, but the facial expression she wore just intimidated me to no end. "Y-you do?" I stuttered.

"Stupidity," she said simply and I cringed at her words. Taron had said the same thing, and now Alena. Could it really be that I was that stupid? "You both are the two most stupid people in the whole world."

"Both?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Well duh? I mean, seriously how big of an idiot does he have to be to even remotely think about saying those hurtful things to you. Even when angry, I expected an elite to be able to control their temper slightly better than that," she scolded.

I couldn't help the twitch in the side of my lips. So maybe Alena didn't hate me.

"And you," she shouted, pointing a finger at me and any semblance of a smile was wiped from my face. "You're just as stupid as he is. Seriously, who cares what his parents think? You're dating him, not his parents. So what if they disapproved, it's the two of you idiots' happiness at stake here."

"I didn't want to ruin the rest of his life," I tried defending myself.

"I didn't want to ruin the rest of his life," Alena mocked, doing a very poor imitation of me. "Fuck that. Did you ever think that you wouldn't have ruined his life? I mean c'mon Kev. You of all people should have seen how much happier he's been."

"I do see it Alena," I sighed. "But that's just now, What about in a year or two? How would he feel then?"

"Oh god, you're infuriating," she said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Can you stop with the insecure crap for just a moment?"

I would be lying if I said that she didn't hurt me a tad bit, but from what I could tell, she had meant for it to. I understood why though. I would be freaking pissed if two of my best friends broke up over stupid reasons too.

"So you admit it's stupid," she said. I looked up at her in surprise. I knew she was a psychologist but never had she been able to literally know exactly what I was thinking. "You spoke your thoughts, dumbass."

At this, my cheeks blushed red. I hadn't even realized that I was speaking aloud. Add that to another reason why I'm an idiot.

The room became quiet then, neither of us talking. Alena seemed to be using the time to count to ten or something, her eyes closed as she took deep breaths. I sat there, rubbing my knuckles. It was strange how I came here looking for Alena's advice, but the only person who had given me any advice whatsoever was her brother in-law. She on the other hand, had just given me a lecture and called my intelligence into question on more than one occasion. Somehow though, Alena made me feel a lot better than I had expected.

I found the corner of my lips curling into a smile. It was also the same time that Alena had opened her eyes and seen the early signs of my smirk, which in turn also cause her lips to form into the tiniest of smiles.

You might be wondering that we had lost our minds. After all, who smiles after being called stupid over and over. Let me tell you why.

You see, while Will had given me real advice of how to handle all this, he treated me like an adult and that I had to be able to deal with my problems. In a way, that's good, because I was an adult. It was something like a mentor giving his protégé lessons, serious and important. With Alena, I was reminded that I was still young. I was talking to a friend who could criticize me and all, but I still knew had my back through it all. She reminded me that even though I was an adult, I was still young and could afford to make mistakes every now and then.

"Thanks Alena," I said.

"No problem Kev," she said, once again returning her hand over mine. "Now, I think I'm gonna send you home, because you need to tell all this to Ken."

I groaned. "You know he's gonna chew me out right?"

"Yes, and I expect him to. Maybe he'll be able to knock some sense into you," she said, smiling at me. "I on the other hand, have a stupid elite I need to give a piece of my mind to."

—————————

"I think that's the last of it," Ken said as he loaded one last box into the trunk of Alena's car.

"Thanks Ken," I said, as I turned around and looked at my house again. This was it, I was finally moving. I sighed before Ken came and threw an arm around my shoulders.

"Don't fret bro. I'm sure everything would work out in the end," he said. I had done what Alena asked and told Ken everything that had happened. As opposed to Alena, he had played the calm supportive brother. He told me he thought I had made a big mistake, but respected my decision nonetheless. "Just look at him. He's moping as much as you are," he said, though not even motioning to the elite standing by the other hovercar.

I sighed again and dropped my head. "Why is he even here?" I asked.

"Alena. Guilt tripped him into helping. I'm not complaining because he's doing most of the heavy lifting," Ken replied, chuckling at Taron's misfortune.

"Did you know about this?" I asked.

"About Taron coming? No. Will and Thane, I did," Kev explained. Yep, not only was my ex-boyfriend helping, Will and Thane were also coming along for my move to sector 76.

"Oh sweetie," my mother cooed, on the verge of tears, coming and embracing me in a tight hug. "I'm gonna miss you so much. You have to come visit often or at least call."

I smiled. "Don't worry Mom, it's only a few hours away."

"He's right, honey," my dad said, directing it to my mother. "He's gotta become independent eventually."