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  • 39 and Liberated Pt. 01

39 and Liberated Pt. 01

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The following story is true. I've spent a lot of time reminiscing about this night and how my life changed afterward. I hope you find this to be both fun and inspiring. -Amy Marioux

*****

It was a Friday evening and I was on my way into the city. I still had another hour or so to go. My husband and I live in the boonies with our two young children. I was on my way to celebrate my upcoming 39th birthday with some great girlfriends. These women are so good to me and really know my struggles in my marriage. My husband has not been emotional or physically available to me for about two years.

We hadn't had real sex in about a year. It was just playing around and always at my suggestion. I think he does it out of duty to the marriage and it often feels like he is doing me a favor. My girlfriends have nearly convinced me to leave. It's a dead marriage and recently I've found out he has a mistress. I've seen the emails with this mistress and his travel for his work has doubled. He doesn't have any idea that I know and he plays such an insulting bullshit game about it. I am oddly not heartbroken, but feel very stuck. I love being a mom but my life ends there. I haven't felt like a wife in over a year.

My girlfriends were trying to set me up or at least have a harmless make out session at a club in the city tonight. I was very nervous and I had not been taking it seriously till now. For over eight years, I had never been with another man and there I was in a tight mini dress showing off my ample cleavage and wearing open toed wood stiletto heels. I loved how I looked in those stilettos because I am 5'7 and they accent my sexy curves.

I am now in the best shape since having my babies but I never dress like this anymore. I have amazing features but I rarely show them off. I do Zumba four times a week to get my body back to where it was, but it is sad that no one enjoys it but me. Writing this now makes me think that I actually did have big feelings about what my husband had done. I was pissed because he didn't have to stray at all. I worked hard at not losing his interest and now felt totally foolish. I felt this outfit was not me anymore even though it's how I loved to look before marriage. I was adjusting to it in a good way. I felt nervous, sexy, and determined. It was very refreshing.

The evening's plan quickly went south when my mom mobile, car seats and all, started to stall. To top it off, it was pouring and getting cold (it was early fall). Maybe this was the universe telling me this was a terrible mistake. I pulled over just hoping I could call triple A and just go back home. I called them, and they directed me to a local office. The nice guy on the phone said his nephew was done for the day but he would make sure he got to me and got me home safe. I thanked him and he said it would probably be 30 minutes.

Shit. I was getting cold and the night was fully shot.

I texted my friends and they told me to hang in there and offered to pick me up but I was disappointed already and totally done with the idea of going out. My mom had my babies at home and I just wanted to get some sleep...maybe have a glass of wine and play with my vibrator. It's rare that I'm alone. I was feeling really down now. Thank god for cell phones, I checked Facebook, email, and the weather and gradually became bored. Enjoying being alone, I starting looking at some porn videos. Lately I've been fascinated with porn and the skill of those girls. I envied how free and young those girls looked but also knew it wasn't a great start to life. Still at least they were getting some attention. A lot actually.

I guess it was my loneliness. You can only fantasize about the guys who work out at the gym so much. I get mad at my situation and myself because I look great, but I am losing confidence. Getting myself off is too private and sad for a cute "MILF". I get checked out every day and the guy trainers at the gym make very playful passes. But in the "married with children" mindset, it is disappointing that nothing can come of these encounters. At least nothing could come from them before I was aware what my husband has done. Still though, the thought having something happen with one of the gym trainers didn't make me feel better at this point.

In the middle of zoning out and enjoying a video, I heard a loud deep honk and this huge truck pulled in front of me in the breakdown lane. This thing looked like it could pull a train. I closed the video app nervously and made sure it was done. It was about 6pm so traffic was heavy and completely pouring out. This tall figure popped out quickly and came up to my window, which I rolled down. When I saw him, I froze. He was gorgeous!

He said, "Hi! Are you Amy?"

"Yes! That's me." I stammered my words like a dork.

He was getting soaked and said, "Hi. I'm Matt. Why don't we get you into the cab of the truck? It's warm and dry."

He helped me get out and I was so impressed that he got an umbrella out of the back and held it over me like a gentleman. Swoon! He helped me get up and into the passenger side of the huge truck. He jumped in quickly to reverse the few feet to my car and popped out again and came back more soaked 5 minutes later. He jumped in and we both looked at each other in disbelief about how hard it was raining. I apologized profusely for the timing of all this and he couldn't have been nicer about it.

Smiling sweetly he said, "That's what triple A is for, ma'am."

God, he was gorgeous. He was about 28, tall, thick brown hair, boyish yet chiseled, and biceps that were nearly as big as my legs. Beefy isn't the word. I was sweating and needed to ground myself. He apologized and said he needed to change his shirt, which was soaked. He took off his drenched T-shirt and grabbed a nice button down hanging in the back. I later figured out it was there because he was going out that night. Once he took off his shirt I knew I had no chance of grounding myself or not coming across as a dork. He was like one of the trainers at my gym who seemed to live in the weight room, very cut and rock hard. Wow.

We were off. He said his uncle's station was about an hour away in the direction of my house. That was convenient, but it meant getting off the highway and getting back on again. The next exit was 20 minutes up, but the highway was a parking lot. We made small talk while we waited. I told him I was going out with my friends and nervously apologized for messing up his Friday night. He graciously dismissed it and said he was on his way to a friend's party that would go on well into the night.

He said, "Those guys go on till about 2am so I have plenty of time to catch up with them."

I felt relieved but still a little guilty. For my safety, and probably his at that point, I mentioned in conversation my kids and husband. He surprised me with the biggest compliment by saying, "I would never guess that you are a mom! You look like you're my age!"

I melted. I'm about to hit 40 and needed to hear that given my situation. Hopefully he missed seeing the car seats in my mom mobile and wasn't just being nice. I relaxed much more as our conversation was really easy. He was getting ready to do a Master's degree in environmental policy and presented as intelligent and interesting. I told him I'd love to go back to school once the kids are older for psychology. He said psych was his minor in undergrad and we were having a great ole time. We got into politics, culture and the future. We didn't really notice that we weren't moving at all. The traffic report revealed there was a major accident by the next exit and the highway was gridlocked. The weather didn't help. Half an hour later, we were still barely moving.

We were in the thick of a really good conversation and Matt suggested we pull off at the upcoming rest area up ahead because he knew this was a long haul and that he had been on the road all day. I agreed and beamed when he said he had a six-pack and some shots if I didn't mind him driving later. I felt safe with him and honestly was dying for a drink! The nervousness about the club and car trouble was really stressful. This was like Christmas. Better than over priced drinks and weird chitchat over loud music.

I had to focus on the conversation because he was so dreamy. The service area was deserted and the rain continued. He gave me a beer after putting the truck in park and turned on the radio and innocently offered that we have a small party in lieu of our plans. I agreed gleefully and gratefully. With great energy and confidence, he took over and turned my very disappointing situation into something fun. I found this immensely attractive and creative. My husband doesn't problem solve and looks to me to fix problems. Having someone lead the way was totally refreshing.

Did I mention Matt was hot? He was mature and completely sexy, but most of all sweet and not anyone who fits in the truck driver stereotype. Sorry if you are one ;) We were fast friends and it felt as if we had known each other prior to this. He told me about his girlfriend and I about my husband but it seemed we both had a half-hearted tone to our voice.

He picked up on that and was braver than I by broaching the subject He asked about my tone and I let him know the situation. It's easier to go there with a stranger. He was totally sympathetic and while never married said he had his fair share of prior and current problems.

"We all do," he said.

He also said my husband was a "tool", which made me feel nice. He said it with annoyance and empathy. It wasn't a "cheer up the cheated on spouse" comment.

However, I felt growing disappointment that Matt wasn't hitting on me. I really wanted him to. Despite this, I was grateful to be having an adult conversation that didn't involve pre K or the movie Frozen.

I asked if it was ok to ask about his "tone", and he reluctantly said his girlfriend doesn't trust him and they get into periods of fights where she is constantly accusing him of being unfaithful. He said this with great annoyance because he has never been disloyal to any girl. I totally sympathized. The man I was with before I met my husband was abusive in that way, relentlessly monitoring me about other guys when I've never cheated once in my life. It's the worst because you are guilty no matter what. I shared that with him and I gradually needed to see it as emotional abuse.

Just then he got a text from said girlfriend making sure that he was at his friend's house for drinks like he said he would be. With annoyance he didn't respond to her and put the phone away. We both laughed due to the timing! I felt really bad for him and was totally baffled about who this woman is. Is she like a super model or something? We cheered each other up and started our second beer followed by a quick shot and toasted to our messed up relationships! He had these nips of tequila with him. I've had my share in my 20s so I could handle it but I noted that I should stop here for fear of making an ass out of myself. He was totally steady and we shared the mutual burn of the booze.

I was feeling really warm and buzzy as well as more and more curious about him. He explained his girlfriend was out of town for a month; that he misses her but is also relieved about a break from the in-person crazy accusations. I was also curious about her. I was a mix of feeling how dreamy he was and also feeling protective of him because he was so genuine and sweet. My abusive ex before my husband was an emotional nightmare but also very bad in bed! I am normally avoidant of putting people on the spot but I felt he and I had a good funny vibe going on so I pressed him about her.

I asked, "Can I say something?"

He said, "Sure!"

Silence...and me making a brave and hopefully a cute this is hard to say face.

"She must really be worthwhile in bed for you to put up with the abuse."

He laughed so hard and spit out his some of beer. Bad timing but super funny. He said, "I...I can't. I don't think we should go there."

Undeterred, I surprised myself by urging him to tell me more and he laughed and said, "ugh...well it's kind of ok but, kind of unsatisfying in a certain way."

I said, "Ah ha! My ex was really terrible in bed. Totally unsatisfying. Crazy I stayed in it for that long. Tell me more."

He told me that he asks himself the same thing sometimes. He got out some paper towels from the back and cleaned up his spilled drink on the wheel and I helped. We felt like a team. I looked back and could see the back seat compartment of the truck was much roomier. I asked about it and he said we should pull the front seats up closer to the dash and hang out back there.

"I'll tell you all about her," he said and grabbed the drinks.

Traffic was still jammed. Thank god!

We moved back there and could spread out more, which was refreshing. It was super comfortable and surprisingly roomy and clean. We were also able to face each other better. I stretched out my legs more hoping he'd notice them and my heels.

Joking with him, I said, "You said that it was, 'Unsatisfying in a certain way,' about the sex. That isn't really enough info."

He laughed and said in a funny if can you believe it tone, "Well, she doesn't really do what most guys really ask for and, she has her reasons."

I giggled, paused and asked, "Soooooo no oral?"

I felt embarrassed and quickly apologized for asking.

He relieved me by saying, "It's totally ok and...yyyup!"

I said, "Now I really don't like her. God. Everyone needs that!" I couldn't believe that was coming out of my mouth.

He laughed and said in a joking and confirming way, "It's true Amy. That. Is. True."

We were becoming more pal-like in our common denominator of really bad or no sex. I suddenly was getting immensely turned on with fantasy of providing him with what she denies him. God I'd love it. I needed to refocus on the conversation. The atmosphere between us was that glorious fine line between safe conversation and sex.

Unable to let it go, I inquired, "Well why, though? Is she just one of those girls who isn't into it?"

He said, "Not exactly. She's done it for prior guys."

"Wow!" I said. "That's cold, Matt."

He laughed and just said, "It's more complicated than that...it is a size...compatibility thing. It's embarrassing to say but there really isn't a way to say it otherwise."

It all came clear. The super sweet, hot, intelligent, beefy, man next to me apparently was LARGE.

I blushed and eased the awkwardness with fanning myself like a southern belle and flirted, "oh...oh my."

This made him get goofy and I was pleased at myself for bringing some humor into it. He profusely said in no way is he trying to get something started.

Staying in role, I acted insulted and jabbed, "Well, what's wrong with a nice gal like me?"

We laughed and I toned it down. He added that to make matters worse, he has been totally abstinent for two weeks and really wanted to last another two when she comes back so he can kind of prove that he is faithful. He said it's been a "challenge." I said that that was really sweet. I tried to hide just how intensely aroused and jealous I was quickly becoming. He was gorgeous, well endowed, AND it had been awhile. This whole thing was punishing. My growing tipsy-ness wanted to see how far I could go with flirting with him about it. I didn't have much to lose.

I hated this girl though. To be blessed with a guy like this, you would assume that a girl would worship him with blowjobs (and damn good ones) to hold onto him. This is the kind of guy that most women would blindly obey, so I was confused. Before I met my husband and well before the fire died out, I loved giving head, and in college really worked at perfecting my skills. It's so much a part of me that I get myself wet by fantasizing about it and used to pride myself when I could go really deep. I was often told I was the best they'd ever had. I told myself that at least when I got home I could fantasize about going down on Matt. That was a gift at this point. Still, I pressed the issue with him and continued to selfishly flirt.

"So, I have to confess that when I was younger, I also had a problem with size in that way...teehee. Most girls do and you have to sort of practice."

I was trying to be cute and not sound like a complete whore, pretending to be helpful but hoping for more innuendo from the conversation. I also knew how he would respond based about what he already told me about her.

"It's fixable and that I think you should see if she could work at it on her own."

He laughed out loud! "Katie?! Katie doesn't work on anything that she doesn't want to."

I said in a therapist voice, "Well Matt...it seems like we've learned a lot here today and that you should hear yourself when you talk about her."

He laughed and said, "It's as bad as it sounds isn't it?" He switched gears on me and asked playfully, "So... how did you work at it on your own Amy? I'd love to hear about your approach, expertise...tricks...tips...how to videos."

He totally turned the tide and was flirting! Yay! I couldn't stop laughing. "You make me sound like the BJ expert!" More laughter.

Taking a big risk, I flirted back and said, "Well to be really helpful, I would need to assess what she is dealing with to come up with a plan."

He rolled his eyes as if to say, 'Oh boy...Here we go'.

I cut him off quickly and said in a professional and confident tone, "and don't tell me. It's better if I see it because of the circumference factor. I also want to make sure there is no exaggeration. No tall tales so to speak."

I was stunned I said it. I also felt super proud though because what guy to resist a prove your size challenge.

There was a playful silence between the two of us as we looked flirtingly with each other. I became acutely aware of how perfectly isolated we were from the world and our partners in that cozy truck cab.

Amazingly, he met me in my game, at this jump off point and surprisingly said, "Really? Are you sure?"

I stayed in role, sat up straight which makes my breast more prominent, and said, "I'm totally sure and I can tell you if she could learn to handle it or not."

I really wanted him to show me. It would totally make my year. We were both pretty buzzed at this point and he said, "well...ok".

My heart was racing. I couldn't believe this was happening now. I was in another world and couldn't believe how erotic and playful this had become.

He looked at me and grinned and started to unbutton his button down from the top, which confused me. Why undo your shirt when it's in your pants? Once he got down to the last 2 or 3 buttons, I could see why. His already hard cock was sticking out above his belt line like by four inches or so. He must have had it resting against his belly otherwise I would have not been able to ignore it. He then opened his belt buckle and button fly and it sprang forward! I gasped in surprise at the size of it. There it was...he was fully erect and it was the most gorgeous cock I've ever seen. It was nearly as round as one of the beer bottles and just as tall. Intimidating and perfect. I was fascinated and stunned.

"Really? Oh my god!" I whispered in happy delight like it was a box of puppies!

I must have sounded like a twenty-year old. I asked him softly to see it all and he pulled his perfect balls out too (also gorgeous and impressive). He was shaved and totally beautiful. I've never been with someone fully shaved and was intrigued since it's like the norm in the porn videos I've been masturbating to.

He said coyly, "Well, what is your assessment?"

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