• Home
  • /
  • Stories Hub
  • /
  • Celebrities & Fan Fiction
  • /
  • There and Back Again Ch. 061-062

There and Back Again Ch. 061-062

123

Chapter Sixty-One: Recruitment Plans

Wynne looked about to object, so I signalled her to stop and follow me. We went just a little ways out of camp, her judgemental gaze never leaving me as we walked. I held my hand up to forestall her.

"I know. You don't approve. You don't trust Anders, because he keeps trying to escape. Honestly, the only thing that surprises me is that there aren't dozens of escapees. Wynne, you have to admit, the Tower is hard on young mages. Some templars abuse their power, and not everyone was raised religious, they don't get the same comfort from faith that you do. Some of those kids remember their families, and they didn't all have bad experiences. You can't expect everyone to accept being locked in a tower with good grace. Even you won't stay there when there's another option.

"Look, I know Anders. I know exactly what he's capable of, both for good and for bad. I think there's a chance that if we catch it now, and do it right, we can avoid much of the bad part I mentioned. If we wait, he will still end up a Grey Warden, only his animosity towards the Chantry will have increased by that much more by then. Please, trust me. I'll vouch for him. I'll take personal responsibility for what happens. Please, Wynne. Will you help me help him?"

She looked thoughtful, but eventually nodded unconsciously even as she asked, "If he succumbs to blood magic or a demon, will you use your templar abilities to stop him?"

"He won't. He hates blood magic even more than you do. But yes, should he become an abomination, I will do whatever is necessary to stop him."

"Very well. I shall not stand in your way, but I will not recommend his conscription either."

I leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

She patted my cheek and grinned. "Cheeky child. I'm old enough to be your grandmother."

"Not where I'm from, unless you and Avernus have more in common than I'd expect. Not even here – Rhys isn't that much older than me, I'd think, unless my math has issues. Will you ever tell me actually how old you are, anyway?"

"No." She didn't hesitate, and her tone brooked no argument. I had to laugh; apparently that vanity was the same among all women, whether mage or lady, elf or human, from Earth or from Thedas. The corners of her mouth tugged upwards at my laugh, and we headed back to camp together.

I pulled Tomas aside, gesturing at Aedan and Alistair to join us. I told them the basics – Anders was a mage, a healer, who was very unhappy in the Circle and currently serving a year in solitary for recurrent escapes. Eventually he would end up at Vigil's Keep when the darkspawn attacked and would be recruited. I didn't tell them about Justice, or Anders eventually leaving the Wardens – I was still hopeful that some of that could change. In fact, I was hoping to keep Kristoff alive, and perhaps, with luck, Justice would never leave the Fade. Telling everyone about all of the possible bad outcomes seemed somehow cruel to Anders; he should have a chance to be a Warden without everyone prejudging him for things he wouldn't do of his own accord.

The three Wardens seemed to sense that I wasn't telling them the whole story, but I didn't give them much chance to pry. I sure as hell wasn't going to explain me romancing Anders in DA2; explaining that there was a DA2 had been difficult enough, back in Denerim. Though a small, petty part of me wanted to tell Alistair in hopes that it would hurt him. I quashed that part ruthlessly; I was not going to turn into some harridan because I was spurned.

"So, anyway, you're going to have to use the rite of conscription. Greagoir's already mostly convinced he's a maleficar; he will never let him go otherwise."

Tomas looked thoughtful. "I will need Irving to help. And probably something to use as a bribe." Alistair's face turned red, and Tomas hurriedly explained, "For Irving, not for Greagoir. Aiding me in this is going to give him a lot of trouble; it would only be fair he demand something in return."

We all thought about it, but it only took a second for me to realise I had exactly what he'd need. I took a few more seconds to try to think about the ramifications, but couldn't come up with a better option.

"I know what to give him." At Tomas' questioning look, I continued. "Greagoir too, for that matter. What does a mage like Irving value more than anything? Knowledge. I can tell them about Avernus' theory on templar abilities. And I can show Greagoir my abilities, promise to teach him once the blight is over. It's something they'll both want – Irving will be willing to help Anders, I suspect, since he's the one who keeps convincing Greagoir not to execute him; add in a little knowledge and the chance to see the dumbfounded look on Greagoir's face when he learns the Chantry doesn't know everything? No problem."

Tomas looked intrigued, and even Aedan's expression was slightly impressed. Alistair, on the other hand, was furious. "Are you mad? I know you're angry with me, but is it really bad enough to justify a death wish? You go in there and show Greagoir what you can do, he may never let you leave. And if you think having templar abilities will be enough to prevent them from assuming you're a mage when you disappear, you've got another thing coming. They'll torture you to determine where you learned your skills. There is absolutely no chance you are walking in there and showing off. None."

My face had become more and more flushed as he spoke, but I controlled my temper enough to avoid screaming right back at him.

"Alistair, you are not my father, and you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do. Everything is not always about you! You will back down this instant, or so help me, I will throw you out of the boat in full plate when we get there. I am a big girl, and I make my own decisions, isn't that what you said? Stop being a hypocrite then, and put your money where your mouth is. It's fine and dandy to agree with me when you also agree with my decision, or it's too late to change it. But the minute you disagree with something I plan to do, that all falls by the wayside, doesn't it?

"I am aware that Greagoir will have suspicions when we meet. I am prepared for that. I will simply tell him the truth. I don't actually believe he will have me tortured; he'll throw me in a cell, at the worst, and then I'll just have to wish to go home and I'll be fine." A frown appeared on Aedan's face, and Alistair grimaced. I didn't stop to inquire. "If I never go back there, they won't be able to do anything to me. He can bring in Tanar to verify my story, and Irving can tell him about whatever it was that I did up in the Harrowing chamber. It will help if we take Wynne with us; Greagoir trusts her. She won't help us free Anders, but I know she will protect me."

Tomas spoke up. "We will bring enough of a force to the meeting to give them pause should they wish to take Sierra. In addition to which, if it becomes necessary, I will tell them she is a Grey Warden. We will have them come over to shore for the meeting, bringing Tanar and Irving and whoever else Greagoir feels needs to be there. We can do this safely, Alistair. And if it means we recruit another mage, especially a healer who happens to be male...we are going to need all the help we can get in the Deep Roads. We cannot take Wynne with us."

Alistair ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it and making it stand up. He reminded me of a little hedgehog, with his bristles all standing on end. I almost laughed. Finally he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Fine. Just...fine. I'll be the first to admit I was wrong if this works out well. But I'll also be there to say 'I told you so' when you're planning a jailbreak."

Aedan smirked. "As long as you help with the jailbreak, I agree."

"You joking? A chance to poke the Chantry in the eye? Wouldn't miss it."

"I have a question." Three pairs of eyes swivelled to me expectantly. "I want to tell Greagoir about Meredith. About the situation in Kirkwall. I feel like the Chantry should have the chance to remove her on their own."

Tomas smiled. "I didn't hear a question."

I rolled my eyes dramatically. "What do you think? Is it a good idea?"

Tomas considered. "I don't see that it could hurt. The worst that will happen is they ignore you, and Kirkwall remains unchanged."

Aedan added, "And if it would help, it seems worth it. She sounds like a real nightmare."

Alistair spoke very quietly, "I met her once, I think, in Denerim. You said the red Lyrium is what's going to push her over, but I'm not convinced the push needs to be very big. She's a zealot, and she hates mages. Making them Tranquil seems positively moderate for her. But they won't get rid of her. Templars are never dismissed, rarely punished; at worst they'll shuffle her somewhere else."

"But if that gets her away from the mages...she could be a fabulous bodyguard for the Divine, or something. Anything that keeps her out of a Circle."

He sighed. "I have no objections. Less templar abuse of power is better. Like Tomas said, the worst case is that nothing improves."

After that, we finally said our goodnights and headed to bed. Tomas took me aside briefly as I was getting up. "Sierra...you don't have to sleep alone, if you don't want. I can make room for you in my tent."

"Are you propositioning me, Warden Commander?" I smirked at him and raised one eyebrow suggestively.

He sputtered. "No! Maker." He put his face in his hands, and I wondered if I'd even be able to see a blush against his dark complexion.

"Shame. Another time, perhaps?"

He glared at me, and I laughed. He growled, "Be serious! I know you find it difficult to sleep."

I stopped laughing, suddenly very serious. "I do. But I will learn. It's time to stand on my own two feet, Tomas."

"That's why the sparring? And wanting to take a watch?" I nodded. "I can respect that. Fair enough. Just know the offer is open should you need a friend."

"I'll keep that in mind."

When I got into my tent, I found that someone had adjusted it to make it stand better. I was annoyed, but mostly at myself for not being able to put up a tent properly. When I saw my phone in the middle of my bedroll, I sighed. I changed, then sat down to meditate and try to find some inner calm before picking the thing up.

I turned it on and found a note written in the notes app, to my shock. It was brief and to the point.

I'm sorry. I won't stop worrying about you, but I will try to stop being your father. I said try, because I know I'm not perfect, and I'll screw up again, I'm sure. You won't believe me, but I'm aware it's not about me. I promise.

This song is for you. Just so you know. And that one line? I'll never move on, but if you need to believe it, I will let you.

I love you.

Forever,

Your Alistair

I sighed again. I wasn't truly that angry at Alistair for his outburst – he was right, and I could be in danger at the Tower, and I didn't expect him not to worry. I did, however, expect him not to treat me like a child. It seemed he got the message, though how long that would last was anyone's guess.

I closed the app, and started the music playing. I had the presence of mind to check the volume first, this time, and so when the first strains of music flowed out, no one would be able to hear but me. I flopped back on the bedroll and closed my eyes as I listened to the sweet voice of Dido singing White Flag. A few of the lyrics jumped out at me, and I could almost hear Alistair saying them to me.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you, or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, I'd still have felt it, where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder or return to where we were
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love, and always will be

I cried, again. And then I was suddenly angry. What right did he have to drag my emotions over the coals, again and again? I scrubbed the tears away angrily, and rolled over to try to go to sleep. I wasn't successful; I laid there and stewed, frustrated and angry, until I had a thought. I sat up, grabbed the phone, picked a song, and set it up to play. Relieved that I had found a come-back, I finally slept.

I had the last watch in the morning, and while I was still tired, my Warden stamina was more than enough to allow me to overcome it. When I thought about how bad my stamina had been before, I was embarrassed. Shale was up, as she always was, and we had a quiet conversation while we waited for everyone else to wake. She told me golems didn't sleep, which I assumed, but that she could do something akin to meditation, where she could clear her mind and just watch the stars, or the fire, for hours without being bored. It was a good thing; I couldn't imagine being awake all night, every night, while everyone around me slept.

I made breakfast, and people started stumbling out of tents when the smell became obvious. I'd sliced and fried up some of the jerky, as though it was bacon, to have with the porridge, and I knew I could rely on Warden appetites to do the rest. Once everyone had their fill, we packed up to get moving. Alistair, to my annoyance, grabbed my tent from me, tucking it with his own, and stole the heavier of my two packs as well. At least he let me pack my own things, for once. I growled at him, and he smirked in my direction before walking off. Leliana actually giggled at me, and I flipped her the finger. The confused look was priceless, but not quite what I'd been going for. I sighed and followed after Sten, grumbling to myself quietly.

At some point while walking, Aedan pulled me to the back where no one else could hear me.

"Home?" he asked.

"What?" I had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

"Last night. You said you could wish to go home, and you'd be free from the dungeon."

"Uh. Oh, I didn't even notice."

"So is Earth home, now?"

I could see anxiety and insecurity on his face. "No. With you is home. Really, I just don't exactly know what to call it. 'Where I'm from' gets to be a mouthful, and I don't know of a word for the place you grew up but isn't home anymore."

"So given the chance..."

"You mean, if I got to pick? Stay here, or stay back there for good?" He nodded. "Here, without a doubt. Alistair's an idiot, but he's not going to chase me away from my family."

Aedan smiled, a wide, joyous grin, and took my hand. I squeezed it, and we walked like that for the rest of the day.

That night we took up sparring again, and Tomas beat me around a small clearing near camp, though I managed to avoid all but a few bruises. He praised me, and then told me he was going to start using a sword next time. I almost cried – in fear. If I'd been in that much pain the first time from just his shield, I couldn't imagine what would happen when he used a sword. Aedan watched, but didn't even glower.

After supper, I heard Alistair say he was heading off to a nearby stream to clean up a little. The other men immediately joined him, but Leliana confronted them before they could go and insisted on rock-paper-scissors to decide whether the men or the women got to bathe first. Leliana won, as usual. I wonder when they're going to realise she always wins? She's like a mind reader. She could make a fortune in Vegas. The men grumbled, but sat down to wait while Leliana, Morrigan, Wynne and I headed down to the river. Prince joined us, and we took the opportunity to wash blood and Maker-knew-what else out of his fur, much to his dismay. The stream was shallow and too cold for soaking, but we all managed to get more-or-less clean. Cleaner, anyway.

When we got back to camp, I waited until the men headed out, and Leliana and Wynne weren't looking, then ducked into Alistair's tent – right beside the one he'd erected for me, as usual – and put the phone in the middle of his bedroll. I figured he'd know to push play, so I didn't leave a note. After that, I crawled into bed. Apparently last watch was going to be mine semi-permanently, so early to bed sounded good.

Sadly, my best-laid plans didn't work out. It was too early, and I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned for a while, wishing I had my phone back. And then the men came back into camp; no matter how they tried, they weren't that quiet, really. I heard Alistair shuffle into the tent next to mine, and I couldn't help but try to listen for his reaction to the phone. I perked up my ears, and then heard the song I'd chosen start. It was the Dixie Chicks, and about as angry a song as I had in my playlist – "Not Ready to Make Nice". There was a bit in the middle that didn't really relate, but I thought he'd get the picture from the first verse and the chorus.

Forgive sounds good; forget, I'm not sure I could.
They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting.
I'm through with doubt; there's nothing left for me to figure out.
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying.

I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down.
I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round.
It's too late to make it right, I probably wouldn't if I could,
Cause I'm mad as hell, can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should.

When the song stopped, all was silent from the direction of his tent. I, on the other hand, was on the verge of sobbing, again. And this time the only one to blame is me. I finally fell asleep with tears still streaming down my face.

Aedan woke me before the first rays of dawn, and after putting on my armour, I crept out to the fire with my blanket still tucked around myself. I nodded to Shale gratefully as she brought over an armful of wood so I could build up the fire. The mornings were getting noticeably chillier. I debated repeating the previous day's breakfast, but I just wasn't in the mood. I was tired and dispirited. The Alistair situation was getting out of hand, and I didn't know what to do about it.

I sat by the fire and brooded until the others started rising. I actually found myself wondering what nickname Varric would have given me if he'd seen me, and decided 'Sulky' wasn't something I was comfortable with. When everyone woke, I put in a concerted effort to be pleasant and light-hearted. It seemed to help, some. Everyone was smiling a little more, and despite red eyes with black circles under them, even Alistair offered me a small grin. I made a concerted effort not to scowl. I think it worked.

I found my phone sitting on top of the pack I was being allowed to carry after breakfast. I tucked it in my pocket, determined not to look or listen where anyone could observe. When I finally got a quick break to pee in the bushes, I pulled it out, surreptitiously looking around before checking what song he had queued up. There was no note, this time; I didn't push play – there wasn't a song on the phone that I didn't know the words to by heart, so just looking was enough.

I've never been a huge fan of easy-listening music, nor of music from the fifties or sixties, but there was the odd song that I just couldn't avoid. "(I can't help) Falling in Love With You" by Elvis, for example, and the occasional Roy Orbison ballad; the song Alistair chose was one of that genre, though a much less popular piece overall – "I Will Wait For You" by Andy Williams. The words had always pulled at me, and this was no exception, as they ran through my head.

If it takes forever I will wait for you
For a thousand summers I will wait for you
Till you're back beside me, till I'm holding you
Till I hear you sigh here in my arms

I managed to avoid releasing the tears that threatened. Why? Why is he tormenting me? I shook my head to clear it, shoved the phone back in my pocket, and caught up to my travelling companions. I'm guessing my eyes must have been red-rimmed; Leliana gave me a curious look, and Aedan a sympathetic one. I pretended not to notice.

123
  • Index
  • /
  • Home
  • /
  • Stories Hub
  • /
  • Celebrities & Fan Fiction
  • /
  • There and Back Again Ch. 061-062

All contents © Copyright 1996-2023. Literotica is a registered trademark.

Desktop versionT.O.S.PrivacyReport a ProblemSupport

Version ⁨1.0.2+795cd7d.adb84bd⁩

We are testing a new version of this page. It was made in 62 milliseconds