Not My Real Gran

An Unexpected Girlfriend

I got my first full-time job after a year of struggling with the odd part-time, lowly-paid stuff since leaving school. I immediately celebrated my 18th birthday with driving lessons, and Mum and Dad bought me a nice second-hand car. Being mobile and having money in my wallet was great. Not so great was the realisation that I couldn't just tag along when Mum and Dad went on their regular foreign holidays. Firstly they said I'd have to pay my way now, secondly I didn't have any holiday entitlement built up yet with my new employer, and thirdly Dad said he needed someone to keep an eye on Gran. She was getting a bit forgetful, and Mum or Dad kept a regular check on her, did her shopping and called on her every day. With me now being mobile, I was expected to pop in to see her each evening after work, while Mum and Dad were in Spain for a fortnight. She isn't my real Grandmother, but a widowed friend that Mum used to work with. Hilda is a sweet old thing, and as none of my grandparents were alive, I accepted my duty of daily visits with a sort of resigned acceptance.

I just hoped I'd have plenty of time to spend with my mate John, who was, as usual, trying to get us both a girlfriend. I confess I wasn't very good with girls, and found it very difficult to talk to them. John wasn't exactly a babe-magnet, but at least he was more confident than me. I saw John the night before taking my parents to the airport. He was full of his latest success with the ladies. I couldn't quite believe what he was saying though. It seems that the girl he was trying to date wasn't playing ball. He kept calling on her with one excuse or another, but failed to make any impression, except on her mother Joan. She felt sorry for him, and used to invite him in for a drink and a chat every time he called. Then, being an opportunist, he turned his chat up lines on Joan. They didn't work. Then he thought up an elaborate plan. He accidentally-on-purpose spilt his glass of squash in his lap. He excitedly told me what happened next, but his isn't the story I want to tell. You see, even as he was smiling at the memory of taking off his trousers and pants in front of a woman for the first time, I was already developing his idea into one I could use myself.

Mum and Dad flew on the Friday evening, and I don't work weekends, so I went to see Hilda at about 10 am on Saturday. I started a routine straight away by making her a cup of tea. I made sure it was very hot by heating up the cup and the milk as well. My whole purpose was to get into Hilda's mind that every time I made the tea, it was much too hot to drink straight away. It only took a few times to make Hilda realise she needed to put her mug on the coffee table next to her for several minutes before even attempting to sip it. Each time she'd comment on how I managed to make the hottest tea in the World.

By Sunday mid-morning I was ready; nervous, but ready. I handed her a scalding mug of strong tea. Then, as she carefully placed it to one side, turning away from me as she did, I sat down opposite her with my tepid mug of weak tea. Then, having already broken the handle off the old mug I always used, I dropped the mug in my lap and began an Oscar-winning performance. My shouting and jumping around even convinced me, let alone Hilda, that I was in severe pain.

"Oh my goodness, Oh my!" She gasped, with a hand over her mouth and getting up to try and help. "Quick dear, you need to splash cold water on it straight away. Go in the kitchen and..." I was gone. Faster than you could say, ..."splash some water on it Jason. Oh my poor boy." And I already had a bowl of cold water ready to dowse on my soaking wet crotch. I did allow my moans and actions to tone down then, because I didn't want to make Hilda think she had to ring for help.

I was already undoing my trousers as she asked me if it was better now. I dropped my jeans and put my thumbs in my underpants as I looked up at her and said,

"Sorry about this Gran, but I really need to check what damage has been done. It still hurts bad." Then I slowly lowered my pants and looked down at my wet, dangling penis. Fortunately my nerves were keeping an erection at arm's length. I gently touched the side of my heavy balls, that I hadn't emptied in a couple of days, and prodded my slightly pink groin, that I had rubbed vigourously while making the tea, to make it look a bit sore. It wasn't, of course.

Hilda looked too, and time sort of stood still for a while. I thought I'd better keep the plan moving, or it might stall.

"Oh Gran it hurts. Do you think I've damaged myself for life? Have you got any cream to rub in, to stop it stinging?"

Gran looked up at my face, then down at my penis. I tried again, "I hope I haven't done any lasting damage; what if it won't work now? What if I can't have kids?" That hit the spot, and Gran slowly replied. "Oh I'm sure you haven't hurt it that bad Jason. I guess the pain is a lot less now you've put cold water in it, is it?"

Yes Gran, but it still stings; haven't you got some cream you could rub in to help me?"

This was the big moment. Time stopped again.

"Please Gran, quick if you have!" That did it.

"Oh sorry my boy, come into my bedroom and I'll see." I gladly followed, after leaving my wet clothes behind and my cock swaying from side to side.

Gran got a tube of something from her bedside table and turned to hand it to me. I'd already thought of this one.

"Oh Gran, you do it please; I can't. Sorry I'm a wimp. I'm so glad it's you doing it for me; I'd be so embarrassed if it was anyone else!"

"Oh. You would dear? But I don't think I ought to touch your...you know."

"Oh Gran, yes you should. I wouldn't want it to be anyone else...even my doctor. I'm much more comfortable with you than anyone else." I smiled to emphasise the fact, and Gran looked at my groin again, slowly withdrawing her hand that held the cream.

"Please be quick Gran, because it still hurts, but I know you'll be gentle too, won't you?" That seemed to make her mind up for her. She undid the tube, squeezed some onto her fingers and looked up at me. I smiled to encourage her. I couldn't believe that a woman was about to touch my cock for the first time. Gran gently dabbed the cream on all the pink area around my pubic hair. I gently encouraged her to actually touch my genitals. "Oh Gran, that feels better already. Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd have done if you hadn't been here." She smiled and put more cream on her fingers. Then she dabbed it on my cock. Oh wow! She was touching my cock, then my balls, and now gently and slowly rubbing all over the whole of my crotch. An erection was obviously about to sprout. The feelings were amazing. Her whole hand now soothed my rising penis. I felt she needed yet more encouragement in case she started to panic. "Oh Gran, thank you. I thought I'd damaged myself permanently. I was beginning to worry I wouldn't be able to have babies. Do you think it will still...you know...work?"

Gran stopped rubbing my hardening penis and filling balls, and looked me in the eye. "Jason, I don't know. Do you mean will your penis still shoot sperm?"

"Yes Gran. I really need to know. Please help me."

"But Jason, I can't do that for you. It's not right."

"But I haven't got a girlfriend Gran. What shall I do?" She looked me in the eye, and then I felt tears welling up. Probably tears of worrying she won't finish wanking me off, but she wasn't to know that!

"Jason, that's something you can do yourself."

"I can't Gran. I won't ever trust myself to find out. Please check for me. I'm worried I won't ever ejaculate again. Please!"

Gran made several faces, looked at my growing crotch and then squeezed a huge dollop of cream on her hand and smothered it all over my whole groin. When she eventually pulled my foreskin back, my purple helmet glistened and ozzed; it was the best feeling ever.

I felt the level of sexual excitement grow as she gradually started pumping my cock faster and faster. It squelched as her hand slid up and down my aching, purple, stiff phallus, all the way from my hairy testicles to the bald head. I felt my orgasm start in my feet, move to my ass, froth in my bollocks and then spurt out of my cock end as she milked me.

"Oh Gran!" I squirted and squirted and squirted all of my cum onto her woollen skirt.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Gran; thank you so much."

She stopped and then began to shake her head.

"Oh that's wonderful Gran!" I gushed. "It still works."

"Yes my boy. Seemingly. Was there ever any doubt?"

"Oh Gran, you have no idea."

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Well that's that then." She started to clean up my sperm with a paper tissue. I kept the conversation as near normal as I could. I stayed with her until I felt she'd relaxed about bringing me off and cleaned up every stain.

The next day she didn't want to talk about it, but I obviously did.

Her tactic was to suggest I get a girlfriend to do all those sort of things. I allowed this to go on most of the week, but gradually showed more and more angst about wondering if I could actually come inside a girl after the hot tea episode.

By Friday she was more talkative, and actually told me she was sure I could impregnate a girl now that we knew my wedding tackle actually worked. So I stepped it up. I turned on the taps!

"Oh Gran, I know you did a wonderful thing showing me that my penis works in principal once, but I just haven't got the confidence to trust it will work in a woman. I haven't even been able to masturbate all week. That isn't normal for me. How can I possibly prove it will work inside a woman's vagina so that I'm not losing sleep over not being able to give my parents any grandchildren?"

That had her stumped! By Sunday afternoon she was wavering.

"But Gran, what if you helped me prove if my penis will work inside a woman? It wouldn't be sex, just putting my mind at rest!"

"Of course it would be sex, my simple little Jason!"

"How would it be sex Gran?"

"Don't you see? If you put your erect penis into my vagina and then thrust it in and out until you ejaculated your sperm into my womb, it couldn't be anything else?" I shivered at the thought.

"But Gran, neither of us would feel it was real sex, because we'd both know you were only doing it to help me and my parents, seeing it was your mug that caused this in the first place! Surely you want my Mum and Dad to be grandparents one day!?"

She didn't say anything for a few minutes. She was taking in what I'd explained. I tried again.

"Gran, what if I just take off all my clothes and lie on your bed. If you feel comfortable enough to take all your clothes off too, and join me in bed, we can just see what happens." She didn't answer. So I took a chance and went into her room. I stripped to my skin and lay on my back with a beautiful hard-on. Five minutes later she came in and looked at me. I reached out my hand from the bed and pleaded with her. "Please Gran, I need you for this. I don't have anyone else I can turn to, or who I could trust."

Watching Gran slowly take off her clothes was beautifully erotic. When they eventually came into view, her massive feminine undergarments were stupendously old-fashioned. Her breasts hung down to her waist as her bra released their load. Her pubic hair was thin and grey underneath her Bridgit Jones granny knickers. She was the most fuckable thing I'd ever seen. Her vaginal lips were visible and pouting sideways about half an inch.

She said nothing as she lay down next to me and closed her eyes. Her moans as I played with her breasts and sucked her nipples were erotic. I had to gently force open her legs enough to inspect her vagina and then climbed between them to lick her clitoris. I sucked and licked her to a crescendo!

Then while she was still catching her breath I lifted her knees and opened her legs to their widest and climbed onto her. I looked down between us as I prepared to mount her, slowly easing my straining knob between her wrinkly old lips and then sliding my erect male organ inch by gorgeous inch up her squidgy cunt. Her unused sex organ clung to my foreskin, pulling it back to reveal my sex helmet as it delved up her dark, wet crevice. Her eyes pinged open and her mouth formed a large letter 'O' as she felt my knob invade the secret place of her dropped womb.

I whispered encouragements as I eased my prick almost all the way out to prepare for my first thrust:- "Oh Gran, this isn't really fucking, because I'm only putting my penis up you to make sure I can give babies to my future wife. This isn't real sex, because my cock wouldn't be sliding up and down your slippery cunt if I hadn't scalded my groin." I began my slow fucking of my lovely prone Gran. Each bottoming out of my testicles against her pubes was a divine bump against her buffers. "I won't enjoy doing you, I promise, and if you don't enjoy us not really shagging either, then we can regularly check as often as we like if my hard-on still spurts semen in a woman's pussy." My thrusts became more violent and her breasts wobbled as I rammed time and time again up her sex hole. "Thank you for lending me your lovely sexy vagina for this act of love. I really wish we could fuck one day, but until then I'll just have to imagine my hard penis going in and out of your hairy pussy is actual fucking and that it's making your amazingly large tits wobble at me to suck them. Your nipples are sticking out so far and my bollocks are slapping against your anus. I wish we were really having sex Granny, because I'd love to do you up your cunt hole."

Then both Granny and I felt our orgasms starting to build. She started to thrust back at this point and I fucked her as hard and as fast as I could. The squelching, grunting and slapping of my ball-filled scrotum against her huge, nude female bottom was erotic. When we both started squirting into each other at the same time, it was moaning and grunting heaven. She was a real squealer and my groans stopped me talking as I felt my spunk jerk up my cock and spit into her aged fanny. Sweat lubricated everywhere we slipped over each other. We swapped pints of bodily fluid for several minutes. My sperm started leaking out of where our bodies were joined so rudely. Her bed was soaked with her juices too. She obviously had almost enjoyed it!!

There isn't an end to this story yet, because Gran very reluctantly lets me mount her every time I ask, as long as I promise it's purely a mechanical test and only to see if my penis still fires jism when it's inserted into a woman's vagina. Of course that's the only reason we are always in bed! But we aren't really fucking! Honest!