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Even Dumb Fucks can Get Smart

12

Unfortunately, I am related by blood to types of characters like this. They aren't as bad as this, nor as good. But they are better than they were before. I hope that when my relative finally learns to pick up the dog shit...

Michelle

"Dad, can you come over now. Please. Please hurry. Bring Pete's pickup and any boxes you have around the house. Right now, I'm putting my clothes in large new plastic garbage bags."

"Michelle?" He paused with worry in his voice, "What's going on?"

"Dad, I need to move back home for a while. Mom already said it's OK. I just called her at Aunt Nancy's house and she said OK. How soon could you get here?"

"It'll take me about 20 minutes. I'll text you when I'm near so you can unlock the back door and I can get into your apartment building."

I knew that there had to be a big smile on his face. Dad and Mom tolerated Stevie. They never confronted me about him, they never asked probing questions. There were there for me and were supportive. They did that because they loved me and allowed me to make my own life. They allowed me to make my own fuckin' mistakes. They loved me enough to let me hang myself with him. That's what I did. Tonight it was just too much. Tonight was the straw that broke the marriage that I'd been holding together.

"Michelle, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Dad, we can talk more when you get here and at our home. I'm finally done here." I exhaled out a ton of frustration.

It was 15 minutes later when both Dad and my brother Pete showed up at the apartment. Both were worried and wanted to talk.

"Talk later. I gotta get out of here now. Stevie probably won't be back here till after 2 AM or morning or whatever and I want to be long gone. Pete, go to the living room and start grabbing the garbage bags I've packed. Dad?"

My father looked at me with sorrow and fear in his eyes. "Dad, could you sit down with me and look at our financial papers? Help me figure out all that I need to take. He won't have a clue what's missing. Later I can return the originals or copies. I don't want anything left behind that I'll need for the divorce."

At the word divorce Dad's face broke from worry to stoic. During college decades ago, he'd been a Mall security guard at Christmas time. First thing he was taught was to show no emotions to the people that he needed to confront. He'd show warmness to the normal everyday people. In times of crisis, either causing or being on the receiving end, he needed to be stoic and expressionless. He would never show fear, never show anger, and never give them something that they could try to control the situation with. Dad did this his whole life. I've been with Stevie for 5 years and married for 19 months, it was my time of crisis.

Pete had made several trips to the truck when he joined us at the kitchen table. I immediately sent him into the bedroom to get what I piled on the bed. Then I told him when he was finished, we'd all go to the storage locker in the basement.

Dad made sure that I had all my tax returns and the two joint tax returns I had with Stevie. Stevie had done his own taxes for several years so I wasn't worried then. However, he sandbagged me and wouldn't let me fully check our first combined Fed and State tax return. That resulted in several automated letters from the IRS and the state for math errors and questionable entries. I did the taxes for the second year and we got our refund quickly.

Dad also made sure that I got the title to my car, the bank statements and the credit card information. "We'll talk later what you should do about this. I take it that Stevie is at a party and having a good time again?" I nodded yes.

"It wasn't the wedding that we were supposed to go to. We were supposed to be at Dave and Chloe's wedding. Stevie found a louder wedding next door in the banquet hall with an open bar and wouldn't come back." I started to shake with anger and Dad just reached over and held me in his arms while I quietly sobbed.

"These were his fuckin' friends, not mine. It was 45 minutes of texting him and getting his buddies to try to bring him back. Stevie just sat at one of the tables, drank from the open bar and had a grand time with talking with those women, those other guests. I sent Bill to get him, his close buddy Bill. It was 10 minutes later that Bill returned and told me Stevie was feeling no pain. He said that when a text from me came in, he'd read it aloud and the whole table would laugh. When I heard that I stood up, got my coat and came home. He can find his own fuckin' way to get here. I drove because he told me was going to enjoy himself again." That's when I chuckled. "You should have seen how pissed he was when he found out Dave and Chloe had a cash bar." We both let out a little laugh.

"Dad?" My father looked at me, "I'm done. It's over. I have to end this so I can get on with my life."

"Michelle, we'll talk more later. Your brother is back and now let's all head to the storage locker in the basement.

--------

It was after 1:30 in the morning when the last load of my furniture was unloaded into Pete's garage. I had the good but hand-me-down living room furniture, my dresser, lamps and my laptop computer. The laptop was going to have to be checked for viruses for sure. Stevie came with the x-box and a fast and high end gaming computer and 158 movies. He bought a big screen TV with the wedding money instead of paying our wedding bills. I left the TV for him.

His 10-year-old beater was in the parking lot with a flat tire. The tire has been flat for 2 weeks. Every day for the past two weeks he said that he was going to get it fixed while he borrowed my car whenever he could. We bought the bed together and he could keep it. His weight and bouncing on it like it was a toy already broke the wooden box spring in two places. He'd gained 30 pounds since the wedding and he gained at least 50 pounds before the wedding, starting when we became an item.

It took only 2 hours to move everything. Then we all sat around the kitchen table, just like old times. Drinks were poured to ease us all out. We talked, but we talked about everything but the elephant in the room. I was still wired, but looking at Dad and Mom I saw that they were quickly starting to fade. "Mom? Dad? Bed time?" They looked at each other and nodded yes.

They gave me a hug and Mom said "Talk with Pete now. Everything else can wait till morning. You'll be ok. We'll talk later."

"Goodnight Mom, Goodnight Dad. Thanks for everything." They turned and smiled at me and went up the stairs to their bedroom. Pete and I sat there in silence for a few minutes before we heard the sound that we were most familiar with, their snoring. Snoring that could wake the dead.

We started to quietly snicker. Then we looked at each other we busted out laughing till tears came out of our eyes. Pete moved out of the house as soon as he could because of the snoring. I swear that it shook the windows on quiet nights.

When Stevie and I were living here, we were in the basement. We couldn't hear it down there. We only heard it when we came up for breakfast. By thinking about Stevie, my laughter stopped and the real tears began. My brother saw the change. I knew that my marriage was over and I allowed it to fester. Pete moved next to me and held me in his arms. Family is my refuge from my failed marriage.

"Michelle, let it out. We've all know that's it been rough for you. Let it out. You're safe here." He held me in his arms and rocked me until my crying stopped.

"Pete?" He looked over at me and smiled. My big brother is older by a total of 10 minutes. He held my hand and had his other arm draped around my shoulder. "Why the fuck did I get married to that loser? Why wouldn't anyone talk me out of it?"

"Michelle, do you want an answer to your rhetorical question or not?" I shrugged, and then nodded yes. I have to start a new life and that means that I need to hear about the old one. It was time to hear that music, the music I spent the last 5 years denying. "You know that this family has always supported each other. We don't do the command and control number. You needed to figure out if he was going to grow up or not. Sometimes Peter Pan does grow up. We all saw some of the progress. We were hopeful.

"Besides, would it have made a difference to my bull-headed little sister?" He gave me a pretend noogie as I shook my head no. I know that if you tell me I can't do something, I'm stubborn enough to go through hell and high water to do it. Dupek.

"Yea Pete, he changed. It was a little bit for the better at first after the wedding. Then he changed again with the election season. It gave him permission to be an asshole." I downed my remaining vodka. I hope it make the rest of this easier to say. "That's when I started to realize that I didn't matter. It was always hard for him to have me at his side. You know like partners do, like you and your wonderful girlfriend Katie." I looked him square in the eye. "And it you fuck that up I'll never forgive you." We both laughed. His girlfriend was the best thing in his life and we both knew it.

I took another sip of my vodka and got serious. "He stopped caring or even listening to what I had to say. I had to barge in to even attempt to get heard and he kept putting me down or shutting me down. What I thought or what I felt didn't matter anymore.

"He became a bully, and he did it in public and private. Last week we were out with friends and grabbed me between the legs and announced that he had my pussy. It was a big fuckin' joke to him." I clenched my fist and hit the table. "It really was a power trip for everybody to see. I was mortified and he laughed." I stopped and thought about it.

"You know, I only remember only two of his single asshole buddies laughing. Mark and Tom and their girlfriends were quiet. Joan and Rick laughed too. Big fucking joke." I giggled my glass for a refill and Pete complied. "Ever since then I've looked at everything we are, what we've have done, what I allowed him to get away with. That's why it was easy to say that it's over this evening. You know, over. I gotta get a new life."

"Michelle?" I looked at him. The vodka was starting to take effect. "You know that I've got a spare bedroom. It's tiny but it'll allow you to come and go as you please."

I nodded at what he said, but my mind was elsewhere and I started to get angry. "I'm a person. I was supposed to be his partner. That's what marriage is about. Nobody should be treated like that. Maria Gonzolas, my good friend from high school told me she'll never see me unless he wasn't around. She's a god-damn CPA at our work and I'm a lowly HR clerk.

"This just isn't about me. She told me that they upped the budget for work related harassment claims for the year and next year too. They were already over budget and a couple more are in the pipeline. I've seen them." I sighed, "I know that it's just not me." I rested my head in my hands, covering my face.

"Michelle, what are you going to do if he comes back on his knees saying he's sorry? He's done that before and you let him back in. Think about it before you answer. You two have been together a long time. He got comfortable with you and stopped trying to be better. And if I remember correctly about 2 years ago, I overheard you say that you were going to shape him up."

"Well, that's a plan for most girls have when getting married. What's the old line? Guys think that it will never change. Women think that it will all change, to their way." We both laughed a laugh of sorrow.

"There are a group of guys at work, middle managers that come to meetings every two weeks. They're all nearing retirement and we're working on having them groom their replacements. I've gotten to know a few of them over the last 2 years.

"I've trusted some them enough to talk to some of them about what's been going on. Smart guys, they didn't take sides. They just asked questions. Damn questions that just kept getting harder and harder. They didn't confront me, but wouldn't accept answers that weren't true." I took a small sip of my drink. Vodka and lime can put me on my ass if I'm not careful. Right now, it's mellowed me. I can talk without crying.

"I guess that I've been preparing for this for months. Figured out that I was letting him treat me like shit for the little things. When it blossomed to the big things, I realized that I was not going to be a doormat like Joan is to Rick. Rick says jump and Joan says how high."

I looked at my brother and started to cry again. "I'm so sorry that I'm putting you through this all. I think that..."

"No fucking way am I sorry, except sorry that you have to go through the divorce with Stevie. He's going to be growing up real soon, but it'll be on his dime. With his spending on the non-essential fun stuff, you guys were hand to mouth on bills. He may be able to do it without your income, but the lease is what, for another 3 months? You weren't on the renewal were you?" I shook my head no.

"He signed and his mother co-signed the lease before we were married. I know that I didn't sign the renewal. I do know that his step-father hates him because he leaches as much as he can. The step-father may even divorce Steve's mother if she tries to take him in. No Michelle, that overweight beer guzzling Frat boy is going to have to make it on his own damn soon."

He smiled at me and said "You have good family to back you up." I smiled but then he looked at me sternly. I lost his warmth. With a sharp edge in his voice he said, "On the other hand, if you do want to get back together, I won't stop you. But you have to see a therapist together. We don't tell each other what to do in this family, but this is the emergency room. Don't argue with this doctor if you want to save your life." He cleared his throat.

"If you both stick it out, if you both work it out, if you are both committed to the marriage..." he reached for my hand and held it. "Then you have a chance. If either of you are not serious, then start a new life without each other." He reached over to me and gave me a hug. "Dr. Pete is finished. You need some sleep and I do too."

---------

In the morning there were no messages on my phone, but I had let the battery run down. I realized that the only charger that was going to work at my parent's house was the one in my car. I let it charge over the day, not really wanting to talk with anyone. My parents, Pete and I had a quiet lunch and dinner together. That time with them and alone helped in working out more of the emotions within me.

After dinner and right before the movie Pete and I were going to watch, Pete got my phone from my car and placed it next to me. Right after the movie started, I heard my first Stevie ring tone. I made it a point of letting it go to voice mail. There were several calls then several more texts. I didn't answer or even look at any of them.

I knew that it really was not payback for what he did to me. It was me keeping my distance from him. I needed space away from him. He had become toxic, and I needed to heal before I would start talking with him. Pete had made a deal with me for the next several weeks. He was going to be my shadow and run interference until I no longer wanted it. I love my brother.

After hearing a series of Stevie voice mail and text ring tones over the first hour of the movie, Pete grabbed the phone from me. "I'm gonna read the texts. You watch the movie. Don't worry."

In the next 10 minutes I heard nothing, but saw emotions flow over his face. There was anger, amusement, sorrow and confusion. I guess that it was the sorrow that got to me. Finally, Pete put the phone down and looked at me.

I couldn't take it any longer. "Ok Pete, what gives?"

"Michelle, let me read you some of these texts. Let's see starting with Sunday at noon after the wedding...none." Pete looked at me and said "I'm shocked. Aren't you?" I giggled. "In fact, that there weren't any voice mails or texts until after 5 PM when we were having dinner. Let's see...that was about 20 hours since you saw him last?" I nodded yes. I guess that I was missing for 20 hours before he thought of trying to contact me.

"Let's start with the early ones...lets see...good start here. 'OK BITHCH' By the way, he either can't type or doesn't know how to spell bitch correctly. That's interesting with autocorrect on. 'What the fuck have u done with the living room couch.' Next is 'GODDAM IT'." Pete looked at me, "He really has no idea how to spell god damn it either. You got a new text for every room he went into ...Now he's in your bedroom 'WHER FUCK YOURE CLOTHS?'"

"Michelle, was his spelling always this bad?"

"No that's actually better than normal. They don't let him write up work orders at work if it doesn't involve preselected items. He's not stupid, just lazy."

"Now it looks like it's finally sinking in that you're gone. What do you think? A-Contrition, B-Anger, C-Questioning, D-Rage?" I was thinking about it when Pete pressed an imaginary buzzer and said "BZZT times up. Quote YOU FUCKINNG BITCH GET YOU ASS RIGHT BACK HERE NOW Unquote. The correct answer is E, Clueless.

"I think that it's time to put your car in the garage and tomorrow morning, make sure that you notify security at your work that he is a person non-grata. Make sure that someone big is with you all the time leaving work. I'll be home by 5 tomorrow. Tonight I'll take some of your clothing. You're living with me until you no longer want to. OK?" I nodded yes.

"Michelle, I'll also start calling around for divorce lawyers. It takes a while and you should be prepared. You're on Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Illinois and I'll go to their website and find you some Marriage Therapists. You'll have to make those calls. I'll send them to the Gmail account that you guys used for Craig's List. I remember that he couldn't be bothered about that one." Once again I nodded yes. This was getting old, but it's the start of a new life.

"At lunch, can you stop on by the bank and take your name off the accounts, take half the money and put it in another account?" I nodded yes. "Want to cancel the credit cards?"

"Pete this is starting to get to be more than I can handle." I paused and exhaled. "The cards are near to being maxed out, so they are not a threat. I'll do the bank at lunch."

So this is what starting over is like, paperwork.

================================

Stevie

I've been alone for more than a week since the wedding. I've been alone in the apartment with rent due and only one income. Half the checking account is gone. Fuck it, she took it. I maxed out our last credit card going out to dinner on the first Monday after she left. Buds kept telling me the bitch was going to crawl back. She ain't crawling back.

For this past week before payday, I've had no money for anything but rent and gas if I don't drive anywhere but work. When I couldn't bum a meal, it was 3 packages of ramen. I've had to live on ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I've already emptied the kitchen cabinets. I'm still going to be short after payday.

Today's Tuesday and I'm inviting myself over to Mom's house for dinner. I'm not bothering with the doorbell and walk right in. "Hey Mom, what's for dinner?" Suddenly my asshole step-father gets up from the table and stares at me. Fuck it; I don't care if he doesn't like me eating here.

My mom comes to the rescue. "Stevie, have a seat, were just having dinner."

"Wow, steak" and I load my plate with steak, potatoes, and a plate of mushrooms. I get up and grab one of his big craft beers from the fridge. This will be a good meal. That meat goes down so quick that I reach for a second piece of steak. That's when I notice that nobody's talking. Fuck it, I don't care. I polished off the second piece of meat.

12
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