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  • The Things You Make Me Feel Ch. 04

The Things You Make Me Feel Ch. 04

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"Did she have a good time?" Ellie asked her mother over the phone on Saturday of the following week.

"Yes. She misses her family there terribly, but—and that's the positive take—she was happy to return."

"Was she? Oh, Mom, that's great."

"It's huge. She's beginning to see America as her home, and she knows she'll get to see her grandparents plenty."

"Terrific. You have no idea how happy it makes me, to know that she's adjusting here so well. I sometimes feel so sorry for her."

"You and I both, baby," Alice sighed. "But I'll make sure she doesn't suffer another day in her life. I love her so much, as much as I love any of you. God, I missed her."

"It's incredible, isn't it, Mom? How she's become such an integral part of our family in so little time."

"I can't imagine this family without her now. I'm seriously considering taking her away from Oliver and to legally adopt her as my own. That way, I'll get the final say on everything Michela."

Ellie laughed. "Why would you want to do that, Mom? Isn't it better letting him raise her and for you to take the backseat for a change? Enjoy the scenery?"

"Oh, dear, I won't lie, I miss the times when you were all little, living at home... I miss that."

"You do?" Ellie said, surprised.

"Very much," Alice crooned, a wave of nostalgia sweeping over her. "And to be honest, I don't trust Oliver. I don't trust him at all."

"What do you mean? I think he's done a fantastic job with her, single dad at his age and all."

"Oh no, I'm not questioning his parenting skills, god forbid. He's absolutely outstanding as both a father and a mother to her."

"But...?"

"But I have this fear in me..." Alice released an audible sigh that reeked of helplessness.

"What fear, Mom?" Ellie said, fearful herself of her mother's tone of voice.

"I can't help worrying—with everything that's happened up to this point—that he might someday take her away from me, from us."

"What?!" Ellie said, appalled. "Why would you think that?!"

"I don't trust him, Ellie. After what he did... I sometimes lose sleep, fearing he'd take her back to Italy."

"He won't do that. He said so himself: as long as Michela is adjusting, they're staying."

"I sure hope so," Alice sighed. "Though soon, I'll have more grandchildren to keep myself busy with, if you know what I mean."

"Slow down. I'm not even married mind you."

"You're as good as. What's a month, right, baby?"

"Plenty, Mom. Plenty."

Alice laughed. "That's what you th—wait a second, baby." Alice said hello to her guests, keeping Ellie waiting on the line for a full minute. "I'm back. Where were we?"

"Who was that, Mom?"

"Your cousins. So, are you excited you're—"

"What cousins?"

"Melanie and Julie. Has Jason had his—"

"What are they doing here?"

"Visiting Oliver and Michela."

"Really? They drove all the way to here just to see them?"

"It's not even a thirty-minute drive, and I know Melanie was anxious to see him after all this time."

"Yeah, I bet..."

"Ellie, did Jaso—"

"Mom, maybe I'll come by now, say hello to everyone. I've missed Michela."

"Oh, sure! I'd love for you to come, but I thought you—"

"He has something with his friends, so we canceled. I'll be there in a bit."

*

"Hey, what's up, babe? Still at the gym? Listen, my cousins are here visiting, and I really hate to cancel our plans, but they want to see me. I know I promised we'd have the day to ourselves, but it was unexpected. Anyway, call me when you get this."

Ellie was a two-minute walk away from her parents' when she sent that voice message to Jason. It was Saturday, and they had made plans to revive the romance by going out on a date. Naturally, since Ellie was so keen on seeing her cousins, whom she couldn't care less about, she had to cancel their date.

After Thanksgiving, and contrary to her Thanksgiving's resolution, Ellie had decided to give her and Jason one last chance before breaking it off. She wasn't about to call off the wedding and throw away everything she'd been building with him without making sure she'd done absolutely everything she could possibly think of to avoid it. Deep down, she still wanted to believe that her feelings for her brother was the equivalent of temporary insanity, or perhaps just an unfortunate side effect to her cold feet.

She had questioned herself more than once this week whether she was simply not ready for marriage, and, therefore, had created this drama with Oliver as a coping mechanism. Maybe she didn't have any feelings for him at all, and all of it was simply a figment of her stressful imagination.

"It will blow over. It has to," she told herself, brisk-walking, "and when it does, maybe I will love Jason again." She sighted her parents' house, and her heart started pounding in response. "I didn't cancel our plans to see him. I miss Michela, and I really want to see her. Besides, what kind of a person I'd be if I didn't come say hello to Julie and Melanie... that bitch."

She entered the house and hung her raincoat. She checked herself in the mirror they had next to the front door, making sure the wind and light drizzle hadn't damaged her makeup. She brushed her hair using the comb she'd been carrying in her purse and applied a second layer of pink chapstick onto her pouty lips. Once satisfied, she sashayed in and saw her mother, Michela, her cousins, and Oliver sitting in the living room.

"Hi, everyone."

"Zia Ellie!" Michela dashed into her arms. "I've missed you."

Ellie was so moved by this and tightened her embrace. She realized she missed her niece much more than she'd suspected. "I've missed you, too, sunshine. I came here specially to see you." She picked her up and said hello to her cousins before she looked into Oliver's brown eyes for the first time. "Hey," she said timidly, her heart aching beyond belief.

He gave her a nod coupled with a halfhearted smile.

Oliver was hurt by Ellie, but he was resolved not to let it show. Alice had given them a heads up, so he had sufficient time to get himself mentally ready for her arrival, and he was more than glad he did. Her presence had an immediate impact on him; impact he was praying he was concealing as well as he would have liked to believe.

His sister's sinuous figure was wreaking havoc in him. Her black leggings and black jersey were so tight on her that it was impossible for him to ignore her prominent bosom and shapely ass, even if a minute ago he was delusional enough to believe he might have been able to. Her blond hair flowed down her back so sensually, and her makeup was incredibly arousing to his dismay.

He never lusted after a woman as desperately as he was after Ellie, but that was old news to him; he had known that for some time now. What truly bothered him was that he was never so hopelessly in love with another woman. The reactions Ellie was extracting from him were both severe and painful.

Aside from his daughter, his sister was all he could think of. Eight days in Italy, in a different continent, had done very little to alter that. Her wedding day was drawing nigh, agonizing him a bit more with each passing day, and there was nothing he could do but to suffer in silence. In just over a month, he would be in her wedding and would see her binding her life to another.

"... and then Nonno Antonio and I had gelato, and Nonna Francesca yelled at Papi again. I don't like it when she's angry with you, Papi."

Michela was perched in Alice's lap, recounting meaningful events of their visit to Italy to a riveted crowd.

"Why was her grandmother angry with you?" Alice asked.

"She wasn't angry," Oliver was quick to dismiss. "Michela is just very sensitive, that's all."

"She was too! She was angry with you all the time!" Michela shed a few tears. "I don't like it, Papi... I don't like it when she yells at you."

"Oh, sweetheart, don't cry," Alice softly said, calming her down with loving kisses. She turned to her son, a dubious look on her face. "Children are notoriously known for being poor liars unlike adults. Now, why did she yell at you?"

"It's not important, Mom."

"You're not going to tell me?"

"There is nothing to tell."

"We'll just see about that," she said, her stomach braiding into knots. "Sweetie pie, why was your grandmother angry with your father?"

Michela wiped off her tears and sniffled. "Because she wants him... to take me back."

Alice's horrified gaze was shot at her son at the speed of sound. "Tell me it's not true."

"Let's not talk about it now."

"Oliver, let me make myself clear: you're not taking her anywhere. I won't let you."

"I didn't say I was, Mom."

"Then why being so secretive? Why trying to discredit her?"

"What's disredit?"

"Nothing important, principessa." He got up. "Does anyone want tea, coffee, cocoa? Melanie, Julie?"

"I can go for tea," Melanie said.

"Same here," Julie concurred.

"Great. I'll go put the kettle on, and then it's your turn."

"Our turn?" Julie said.

"Yeah. To tell me what you've been up to for most of the decade."

They laughed, and Oliver left to the kitchen.

"I told you," Alice whispered to Ellie, her gut clenching tightly. "I was worried for a reason."

"Mom, don't jump to conclusions. For all you know—"

"Michela, sweetheart," Alice said, too worried to care she interrupted her daughter, "what did your father say to your grandmother when she asked him to take you back?"

"He told her he'd think about it."

"Oh my god," Alice muttered, visibly distraught. "Ellie..."

Ellie nodded, equally perturbed. "I'll go talk to him."

*

"Mom is very upset."

"She has nothing to be upset about," he replied with his back to her.

"That's not how we heard it."

"Then you heard wrong."

"Are you sure about that?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that Michela just told us that you're thinking about it."

He pivoted to her, anger surging within him. "I don't appreciate you two milking my 4-year-old daughter for information."

"And we don't appreciate it that you're holding back on us."

"I'm not. Whatever you think—"

"Why don't you cut the bullshit, Oliver. I know this face. I thought Michela might be exaggerating, but clearly, I was wrong. You are thinking about it."

He said nothing, which only validated her concerns.

Ellie shook her head, and her eyes welled up with tears. "How can you do this to us?"

"I'm not doing anything. I'm simply thinking about it."

"Thinking about it? You said that if Michela adjusts, then you're staying, forever. Those were your words!"

He opened his mouth but closed it a second later.

"Oliver!"

"It's complicated."

"What does it mean it's complicated?!"

"It means that... her grandparents are putting a lot of pressure on me, and—"

"I don't give a rat's ass about her grandparents! What about us?! We've done everything for her to feel at home and loved, and now you're going to disappear again?! After you promised not to?! How can you do this to Mom?! Dad?!"

"I'm in a really tight spot here."

"How so? You have a good job and money, and Michela is doing great here. Why would you even consider it?!"

"Life in Italy is... simpler. Coming back here isn't panning out the way I thought it would. Michela misses them, and they miss her even more. I'm not saying we're leaving, but I..." He sighed. "I need time to contemplate it, that's all I'm saying."

He removed the kettle from the stove when it began whistling and reached for the sugar.

"You really are... a selfish bastard, aren't you?"

He spun around and saw tears trickling down her slightly-freckled cheeks. "Ellie, you're jumping the gun here. I'm not even—"

"How can you do this to me?" she wept.

He frowned in surprise. "To you?"

"You said you loved me."

"I wasn't lying."

"Then how can you give up on me like that?"

"I'm giving up? I'm sorry, was it me who said this couldn't go anywhere?"

Now it was Ellie's turn to deliver silent replies.

"No answer; interesting." He stirred the sugar in the tea and looked back at her. "Then let's try a different one: are you still getting married in a month?"

She kept silently weeping.

"Do you even want me to fight for you?"

Third straight nothing came out of Ellie's mouth.

"And I'm the selfish bastard." He snickered bitterly. "Well then"—he gripped the kettle—"shall we?"

*

An hour later, Oliver said goodbye to his cousins after walking them to Melanie's car and returned inside. He mounted the stairs, wondering where everyone was, and opened his parents' bedroom door. His mother was lying in bed watching TV, and snuggled up to her, his daughter was dozing off.

Alice's face made it as simple as possible for her son to feel her wrath.

"I'm simply thinking about it," he preempted.

"I don't want to discuss it now. My granddaughter is resting."

He bobbed his head, feeling like the selfish bastard his sister made him to be. "Where's Ellie?"

"She left."

"When?"

"Jason picked her up twenty minutes ago."

"Oh... she could've at least said goodbye to Melanie and Julie."

"She was upset. I'm sure they won't hold it against her."

"Why was she upset?"

"She and Jason had an argument over the phone."

"What about?"

"She didn't say." Alice sighed. "It's natural to fight before the wedding though. I'm sure they'll work it out."

"Good for them," he muttered bitterly.

"Yes. Now please leave, so she could rest. Don't worry, I will be talking to you later."

***

"Are you seriously considering it?" Alice asked her daughter on the following Thursday evening, when the two were in the kitchen improvising supper.

"I don't know."

"Baby, you really need to stop with this. The wedding is right around the corner."

"Mom, it's not that easy."

"Be that as it may, calling off the wedding will cost a lot of money now, and you do love Jason. I just don't understand where this is coming from."

Ellie and Jason's relationship had known better days. There hadn't been a day this past week where they didn't bicker or quarrel, and earlier today Ellie had decided to impose a 24hr break, so they could individually reflect on their issues and future.

"Mom, how do you even know that I love Jason? What exactly are you basing that on? And should I marry him simply because it will be expensive not to?"

"Of course not. And should you decide not to marry him, you know we'll help out. I'm simply saying that it's natural to feel pressure before the wedding." Alice turned off the stove and strained the pasta in the sink. "And if you're not marrying him, I'm assuming you'll be breaking up?"

"Obviously," Ellie said spiritlessly while making a salad on the kitchen island in utter laziness.

"And then what? You know you're not getting any younger. You'll be soon pushing 30."

"Pushing 30? I'm not even 27!"

"Semantics. You need to settle down; the clock is ticking. And you know how much your father and I want grandchildren."

"So now I need to get married to Jason because you and Dad want grandchildren?!"

"Be careful with that knife, baby," Alice said at the sight of Ellie carelessly waving it. "What I'm saying is that I'd hate to see you lose a great guy like Jason, who truly loves you and would do anything for you, on account—"

"I'm home," Oliver announced, entering the kitchen when returning from work. "Oh... I'm sorry, I didn't know you were..."

"What do you have to be sorry about?" Alice asked while mingling the pasta with the sauce.

Ellie kept her head down as she resumed chopping vegetables with surprising efficiency.

"Um... nothing. Where's Michela?"

"Living room, watching TV."

He snuck one last peek at his sister, her beauty wringing his heart, and started for the living room.

"Wait!" Alice said.

He swiveled around and took a few steps forward, making sure not to encroach on his sister's personal space, which was now a good ten feet as opposed to a few weeks back when it hadn't existed, even when his member was inside her mouth.

"Well?" Alice said, twiddling her fingers anxiously. "How was your date?"

Ellie lifted her head in more urgency she had intended and bored into Oliver with a look of astonishment.

"I asked you not to call it a date," he said, pretending to be oblivious to his sister's blue stare.

"Then how do you kids call it nowadays? Back in the day, we most certainly called it a date."

"Sitting for coffee with a coworker could hardly be called a date, Mom."

Oliver had indeed sat for coffee with a coworker yesterday, and although he was downplaying it, it was technically a pre-date. That coworker was of the opposite sex and single, and the purpose of their hour-long coffee-encounter could not be mistaken.

"And...?" Alice's pressed, her eyes twinkling with excitement. "How did it go?"

"Fine," he replied dully.

"That's it? That's all you're going to give me?"

"Mom..." he groused, uncomfortable that his sister was at hearing distance.

By now, Ellie was back cutting up vegetables yet with both ears carefully attentive to the chatter.

"I want details! Come on, spill it!"

Alice was tremendously excited. She and Dan had had their hands full throughout the week, teaming up on Oliver regarding him pondering a move back to Italy. It had reached a point where Alice flat out threatened to appeal to court to obtain legal custody over Michela. Oliver hadn't responded to that all too well to put it mildly, and the house had been riddled with strain for most of the week.

"Let's talk about it later. I want to say hello to my daughter."

"Fine," she conceded with a sigh and gave him a loving kiss on the cheek. "Oliver," she said as he was walking away.

"Yeah?"

"I realize it's not easy to return after being gone for so many years, and I'm aware that you and Michela miss her family there, but just give it time. I promise you it will get better. No! It'll be fantastic. You'll meet a nice girl, and everything will start to make sense; you'll see. This is your home."

He nodded, almost obligatorily, and walked away.

"You and your brother will be the end of me, I swear," Alice mused at his distancing back. "Another week like this..."

*

Ellie lost her appetite, so she skipped supper and headed upstairs to take a shower. She wasn't ready for it, for Oliver to start dating, and for much of her shower, she was upset by the news. She slipped into her pajamas and passed by his room only to realize he was downstairs. Upon entering the living room, she saw him, Dave, and Michela playing some board game on the Persian rug in front of the crackling fireplace.

"What you're playing there?"

"Monopoly. Come play with us, Zia Ellie."

"Baby, I don't think Zia—"

"I'd love to," she said with a smile.

"Yay! Papi, let's start over, but this one counts as my win because I have more money."

Ellie sat on the carpet next to Michela while Oliver was setting up the board.

"Are you okay?" Dave asked her.

The rumor mill was working overtime during supper after Alice informed everyone that Ellie was spending the night. She hadn't expanded further, but Dave had his suspicions.

"I'm fine."

"Do you want to talk?"

"No." She watched Oliver as he was preparing four stacks of cash. "I wasn't even aware children play board games these days."

"It's healthy for me," Michela said.

"What is, sweetheart?"

"To play games that are not on a computer."

Ellie laughed. "And how do you know that it's healthy for you?"

"Because that's what Papi said."

Ellie gave her a kiss and sat her in her lap.

It was a tense game. Oliver and Ellie kept glancing at each other and weren't really in the race while Dave and Michela were neck to neck in liquidity and assets. It was a good half-hour into their game when Michela was beginning to question her wily uncle's ethics. After a careful observation, she caught him red handed skimming money from the bank.

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