A Snap Decision

I love asking people which snap decision in their life changed everything.

One has to wait to drop that kind of question into a conversation. It should be after a few secrets have been shared, as inhibitions are lowered and bonding is beginning. The more comfortable they are with you the better the answers.

I've heard some amazing ones. People I've just met that day have told me about spur of the moment choices like having an abortion abruptly one day, about suddenly moving across the country without telling anyone, or getting married to a woman on a whim the weekend they met. A guy once told me that back home in Italy he played poker with some Mafioso one night and won big. He knew they would make him play again to win back their money, so he moved to Canada. All snap decisions that changed the rest of their lives.

They tell me because I ask.

I feel people carry these moments in their mind, puzzling over what version of themselves made that snap decision, where it came from. What made them do it? Maybe not everyone has one, but everyone I've thought to ask has had at least one crazy decision in their lives that took them from one potential future to an entirely different one.

All you have to do is dig back in your memories far enough, it will come, the single instant things changed.

Mine was going to drop in on my boyfriend on a particular weekend. I'd told Dylan I couldn't see him because I had to work at the café where I served and then study for a big test on Monday. It bothered me that I wasn't going to be able to see him for two days. We weren't in what I now know to be love, but at eighteen what I lacked in affection I made up for with passion.

Instead of going straight home after my shift I decided to stop by and see Dylan. He lived in a frat house and it was Saturday so I knew there would be a party, but most of his frat brothers were in engineering like him, I didn't expect total debauchery.

When I went inside the foyer I saw a group of guys playing beer pong in the dining room, blasting music. The lights were dim in the Great Room and there were a few couples dancing and some other making out on the furniture. It was racier than I'd seen at other gatherings, but not crazy.

Negotiating my way around people sitting on the wide staircase, I ascended toward Dylan's room passing couples talking, a guy playing guitar for two female listeners, and a couple making out. The lights were off on the landing upstairs and all the doors were closed, which was unusual. Normally loud young men were careening around these halls making it impossible to get any privacy.

Dylan shared his room with another guy, and so when the door was closed I knocked.

"What!" a male voice demanded from deep in the room behind the closed door. Not Dylan's.

"I'm looking for Dylan." I shouted over the noise from downstairs.

"Basement!" came the shouted reply.

Maneuvering through the various obstacles of the party I still had no inkling anything was odd. The party seemed fun, dozens of people scattered around the two floors I'd seen, probably more in the kitchen and in the yard.

Downstairs was the gym. The guys had a whole array of workout equipment around the walls and an open space in the middle. As soon as I opened the door to the basement I sensed something was weird.

The lights were dim, music was playing and it smelled like sweat and man. That much was normal, but the sounds were all wrong. I immediately heard the unmistakable sounds of women having sex, men grunting encouragement and the slapping of flesh on flesh.

Moving cautiously down a few of the dark stairs, I sat on the steps and looked down into the basement before venturing all the way in. At first I saw shadowy figures moving around. The space was not full, but there were a fair number of people down there at a glance.

As my eyes adjusted I saw bare skin, mostly men's legs, butts and some backs. Some of them wore shirts, the ones that didn't come down here to work out. Some of the fitter guys had their shirts off and were showing off.

By and large they were in a circle around some women, I couldn't tell at first how many, but it was four. Ten men, four women, one camera, one big screen T.V.

One guy held the camera, a light shining off it onto his subjects. I couldn't see much of what was going on in the middle of the circle from where I was sitting, but I had a clear view of the T.V. and could see everything the cameraman was filming.

I forgot why I was there as I gaped at the view onscreen. I could see two erect cocks thrust toward a girl's face. She was sucking one, and the other was rubbing on her cheek. I'd seen her around campus, she was a sorority girl, but she wasn't in any of my classes so I didn't know her name.

There were so many sounds mingling down here, echoing off the cement walls that it took a few moments to sift voices until I could match sounds with what I was watching. Finally I could hear the moans of the woman as she switched back and forth from cock to cock.

"Suck it!"

"Oh shit yeah, lick my balls." The men said as she worked them over

I watched porn, alone, and really got off on bukkake scenes and gang bangs, but I never expected to see one in real life. Shocked, my brain was short circuited by what I was seeing. A tingle began in my clit from force of habit.

Soon the camera panned and I saw a skinny woman on her back, a guy drilling his cock deep into her bald pussy. I couldn't see her face because another guy was dipping his balls into her mouth as she lapped at him.

The camera held there for a time watching this lucky girl get fucked silly by these two guys. A couple guys were standing by jacking off and telling her to 'take it' and shit like that. The raw animal sounds she was making made my mouth dry imagining being that aroused.

The camera moved on to find a woman on all fours taking a guy from behind, and one in her mouth. It looked so good I felt myself getting wet. I had always wanted to try that. Dylan didn't even like doing it doggie style much. He indulged me, but he didn't like not seeing my face and being able to kiss me.

Then the camera moved to the last couple, a woman on her back making love to a guy. My guy. Dylan was fucking her in his typical missionary position, being tender and sweet. To some slut during an orgy! What a fucking wimp.

Needless to say I was stunned. The camera showed a close up of their faces as they kissed and gazed into each others eyes. I felt nauseated. The camera moved down their bodies and I saw her move under my boyfriend, him sliding in and out of her.

I got to see his erection- the penis I had secretly called mine- disappear inside this stranger. I recognized each detail, having learned to give blowjobs on that cock. Those balls, clenched tight ready to cum inside some woman, had been in my mouth three days before. I had tasted his cum that day, warm in my mouth, and I had been proud to be able to make him cum. Why? Turned out he could do it with anyone.

"Josh, c'mere." Someone shouted and the camera moved to the woman on all fours just in time to see the guy fucking her from behind pull out. The girl whirled around and started sucking the guy's knob as he jacked off. The guy she had been sucking on moved over and jerked himself over her face as well.

The two observing guys moved over there too and I was suddenly given an unobstructed view of Dylan fucking that girl. I was torn between wanting to see the woman get a face full of cum and mesmerized by watching a person I was so intimately familiar with fucking someone else.

It was disorienting. I recognized the way he moved even though I had never seen it from this view. My body absolutely knew what it felt like as she squirmed under him. I knew how his skin felt, how he smelled, what temperature he was, what he sounded like. And it hurt to see.

At the same time my lust compelled me to look at the screen when cheering erupted and the pretty girl was showered in cum. In close-up the T.V. was filled with her face as ropes of thick sperm spattered her features.

My eyes flicked all around at the sordid images I was seeing; the first girl still sucking two cock in one part of the room, the skinny girl being fucked as she sucked a cock, the bros cheering on the guys cumming over the woman on screen, and my boyfriend fucking someone else.

The second man started spurting jism onto the pretty girl, smiling as her face was drizzled in cum. I was already jealous in another way, but I was also jealous of that woman living out my fantasy. As they squeezed the last drops from their pricks, she slurped their knobs and mugged at the camera.

Clearly enjoying being a porn star, she scooped sperm from her face into her mouth using the two cocks now in her hands. It was super hot, and one part of my brain was memorizing it while my heart broke a little more each time I glanced at Dylan, which I could not stop doing.

As the two men stepped away from their sperm covered partner she looked right into the camera, and so, right into my eyes hiding on the stairs. Rubbing sperm into her skin she looked like the porn star she was. Then the two bros stepped up and she took one cock in her hand and one into her mouth.

My clit tingled at the sight, my brain lurched, imagining it was me, and my heart ached because of Dylan.

I sat there wanting to leave, compelled to stay. I was waiting.

As we had gotten closer, sharing more and more with each other, exploring our sexuality, Dylan and I had naturally spoken of our sexual fantasies. I had shared my desire to have him come on my face. I'd been sucking his cock for a while by then, but I hadn't asked for this before.

The reaction he gave me wasn't good. He'd grimaced and asked why.

"I think it is really hot." I tried to articulate it further. "It's naughty, messy and sleazy. I'd love to try it."

"Babe it's gross. I'm not going to treat the girl I love like some slut. You're better than that." It hurt being dismissed, but he said it with such tenderness that I'd allowed myself to be won over. I pretended I thought it was sweet not judgmental and I moved on.

A few weeks later I'd let his knob fall from my lips as he shot his load in my mouth. A jet of his sperm splashed my cheek, hot and wet, thrilling me. Immediately he took over stroking his cock from me and put his tip back in my mouth, finishing depositing his sperm where he wanted to.

When he was done he asked me to wash my face. I lingered in the bathroom staring at the little jet of jism on my skin and rubbed my clit until I jumped guiltily when he called my name. That was the only time I'd been given an opportunity to fulfill even a small part of my fantasy.

I was waiting to see if Dylan meant what he's said about treating me better than a slut.

The skinny girl got a face full of cum next. Lying on her back still, the guy fucking her pulled out, calling the camera man. He and the two guys that had already orgasmed moved over there to watch, blocking my view of Dylan. The skinny girl's face appeared on the T.V. and two cocks being pumped over her upturned face.

Even though I'd seen hundreds of clips of women in exactly the same position when I masturbated, being in the same space it was actually happening in made it surreal. Seeing these people with my own eyes, the smells filling my nostrils, and the sounds in my ears not coming through speakers or earphones... it was intoxicating. As another pretty girl was being coated in spunk my body grew flushed and sweaty, yearning for it to be me.

On screen the skinny girl looked like she was in ecstasy as she received the sticky, hot reward for her efforts. Between the legs of the men standing around her I could see that she was rubbing her pussy furiously as her lovers spilled themselves all over her face.

My pussy was sopping wet and my nipples ached. I was too heart sore to touch myself here, with him still fucking her so close by, but I desperately wanted to.

"Hey!" A woman's voice cut through noise. As the guys discussed how great the skinny girl looked as she made kissy faces at the camera, her face drizzled in sperm, another woman sounded annoyed. It was Dylan's partner. The camera moved over. On screen I saw her speaking as Dylan lay over her not moving.

The camera dangled ignored for a moment as the three of them spoke, and I could see an inverted view of Dylan and her entwined on the T.V. screen. Then I had an unobstructed view of the trio in real life as the other groups converged. The two women who were already sperm coated began to share the two cocks of the bros. The four men who had already climaxed stood nearby getting a good view.

Then the camera moved between the legs of the girl Dylan had been fucking as he dismounted. The camera moved in tight and showed a close-up of her puffy lips, zooming in on her gleaming wet vulva. Using her fingers the girl pulled open her pink lips and I saw a close up of her tight hole.

I stared, unable to look away as she squeezed, her pink opening clenching and releasing with her efforts to push out the load of semen just spilled there. I thought I could smell his specific scent as I watched his seed ooze thickly out from the glistening slot he's just deposited it in.

Feeling ill, I couldn't articulate any coherent idea why this felt like such a violation, but it did. Perhaps I just combined my jealously and betrayal from him fucking another person with his denial of my pleasure. It felt awful for whatever reason, his wiliness to cum inside a woman he presumably didn't love when that was his only excuse for not fulfilling my fantasy.

I fled. I'd seen enough. Confused, sad, angry and as horny as I'd ever been I left the frat house and walked down the road numbly, trying to process everything.

I was pulled from my reverie when a voice called out to me.

"Hey! Don't look so sad. Come in and have a drink."

A big blonde jock stood on a lawn strewn with pool toys and football equipment. It was another frat house, this one really shaking from a huge party. He was drunk, cups of beer in either hand, tall and incredibly muscular. He was dressed like he was in Hawaii, boarder shorts, a Hawaiian shirt, lei around his neck and a straw hat on his head.

I stared at him vacantly for a moment, taking in the way he was dressed and the noisy party spilling out of the big house.

"Come on, have some fun!"

Then I made the second snap decision. I feel like my life had already been altered by going to Dylan's place. Maybe I would never have found out about what he's done that night. Maybe I would have married him and raised a family and done everything I'd thought I was going to do in the world.

Perhaps I could have still had that life with someone else. I didn't need to change who I was going to be because Dylan wasn't who I thought he was.

But I did.

I went into that party. I walked into that house one person and I walked out another.

My drunk friend offered me a beer, following me as I pushed my way inside. I drank the beer in one long pull, eager to get drunk, but I'd already made up my mind what I was going to do in there.

"I'm Keevan." He shouted in my ear when I was recovering from downing that beer.

"I'm Chloe." I lied.

"You want another one?"

"Got anything stiffer?" I asked scanning the room.

This was a very sporty Frat, trophies everywhere and all the men big, muscular athletes. Dylan hated jocks.

Most of the women were done up as if they were going to a luau, coconut bikini bras, grass skirts and flowers in their hair. I was wearing a pair of black slacks and a food stained white shirt from my job as a server.

Keevan lead me to a self-serve bar in the main room and I fixed myself a stiff gin and tonic, wincing as I drank the potent beverage. People were dancing and making out all over. Keevan chatted me up and I paid just enough attention to not be insulting, but he didn't notice my inattention.

I was sizing up the guys here and drinking until I felt the warm flush of inebriation. I needed courage, but actually I was trying to quench the burning anger in my gut.

Something Keevan said got my attention.

"Did you say rugby?"

"Yeah, I'm a rugby player." He looked slightly hurt, like I should have known.

"Are your teammates here?"

"Of course." He started pointing out big, hard looking men, amid the boys there. Listing names and positions they played, Keevan indicated five of his teammates and I felt a weird tingling all over my body. It was as if I suddenly got a chill, I had goosebumps everywhere, but I was the opposite of cold. I was feverishly hot all of a sudden as I understood I was going to get my wish.

"Can I meet them?" I asked as if they were celebrities he could introduce me to,

"Of course!" he grinned happy to be able provide what I wanted. I could tell he wanted to sleep with me. He was going to do as much as he could to pull that off.

Calling out, he gathered a few of the guys he's pointed to. He introduced me, getting increasingly confident and possessive the more names he passed back and forth. Each of his huge friends took my hand warmly in their big, hard grips and gently squeezed.

Being teammates they easily slipped into a groove together. All of them were suddenly the greatest wing-men possible for Keevan. Except for one big Black guy who it seemed wanted me for himself. The guys gathered around me in a massive circle of manhood and I grew aroused knowing I was the center of their attention.

Except Cade, the black guy who was eying me possessively, each of them started their versions of making Keevan look good. They joked with him, and me, they told stories about him making great plays in rugby, or they roughhoused with him to show me how strong he was. It was cute.

Cade complimented me and mocked Keevan good-naturedly.

They encircled me, blocking my view from the rest of the room behind a wall of huge men.

I said "Wow this is like a porno." I gestured to them surrounding me. "I feel like I'm supposed to drop to my knees and suck you all off." I pretended to try and see past them. "I don't even know if anyone would be able to see."

"Well pretty girl, if that's your impulse, you shouldn't deny it." Cade said. One of his buddies laughed and I smiled, but Cade looked earnest, and hopeful.

"Wouldn't that make me a Bad Girl if I started sucking all your cocks right here in the living room?" I kept my tone light, enjoying teasing them. Even so I noticed a shift in the energy. Keevan looked a little less enthusiastic, but the other men were all paying closer attention to me.

I keep in great shape, and serving tables burned a lot of calories, so I was fit. I stayed thin, and because I was eighteen I had zero fat on me. Secretly I'd fantasized about being be a porn star for years so I had had stayed in peak condition, idealizing the toned fitness of some porn actresses.

As I teased the six of them I had their full attention, even dressed in slacks and a blouse. I tried to appear sophisticated and worldly, but these guys were all in their early twenties. I had no real game. They steered the flirting easily to dare me to put up or shut up.

"Girl you're not gonna do it. I know it." A handsome, chiselled guy with a beard said. He smiled and teased me with his eyes, confident and sure of himself. It was sexy as hell.

"Not going to do ... this..." I lifted a hand and cupped his balls, holding him in my hand and looking him in the eye from almost a foot below.

Inside my stomach was fluttery, booze on an empty stomach mixed with terror at my behavior had me trembling. I willed myself to look him right in the eye and smile sweetly. Blinking innocently, I hoped that he didn't dismiss me as a little girl too stupid to know what she was getting into.