A Secret Even to Myself Ch. 04

DISCLAIMER: This novel will be MESSY.

This is purely an experiment to get writing. I do not know where this story will evolve. It is something of a break from the massive series which I am also working on... but more of a forgivable weekly sprint to see where a story will take me.

My goal is to publish every week. It's my challenge.

This is not really a novel, although I do have a plot with an end, but I am approaching it more like a serial.

This is a pure rough draft. I do not have an editor. My goal is to publish an episode at least once a week. Think of it as a live studio soap opera.

This novel will be MESSY and thank you for joining me on this scary journey.

Happy Reading

-Talyis

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A SECRET EVEN TO MYSELF

(C) 2017, Talyis Ellison

CHAPTER 4

"You've got to be kidding!" Mahin snide. "You think expecting me to read Grey's Anatomy is a relevant punishment. I drank and drove, I didn't attempt surgery on some poor soul." She huffed.

"Arms out at your side," Tobias snapped.

She slouched and rolled her eyes as she reluctantly raised her arms out.

"Higher, " he barked and she complied until they perfectly formed right angles to her body. "Palms facing up."

She sucked her teeth and complied.

Tobias continued, "You are not to move from this position. You are to endure and experience the weight of your choices."

With that simple short lecture he placed Grey's Anatomy on her left hand, the special edition of the twelve step program that was bound in leather and signed by the creator of the famous program in her right hand and the Maxwell's self-help book which was the second thinnest of the three in her left hand on top of Grey's.

Immediately her arms began to lose perfect formation her body became an uneven scale.

What an asshole, he purposefully put the heavier books in her weak hand.

"My arms hurt," she complained.

Tobias popped his jaw irritated, she's only seconds into her punishment.

"Not another word." he said in his calm cold steady voice.

He stood in front of her at ease, strong arms crossed his chest, unmoved from the daggers her eyes shoot at him.

His voice was smooth and cold. "Those books fall down or if you drop your arms, we will immediately start again."

He pulled a book from the shelve she was admiring earlier; and moved to the chaise on his deck but turned it towards the room instead of the blue ocean. He settled in comfortably with his book, crossing his ankles and looking quite debonair.

She now chastised herself for admiring his appreciation for literature. Actually now, as her forearms began to burn with acid, she despised books and found nothing wrong with her fast lifestyle. At least it was nothing like this stuffy stupid man's overly controlled and cold life.

"How long do I have to stand here?" She called to him.

"Until I say. Not another word or I will start the time, again."

"Fucker," she huffed under her breath.

"And we start the time again." He simply said not even looking up from his book.

"You can't be serious. This is torture!" She started to complain and dropped her arms.

"Raise those arms, right now!" he growled, fire in his eyes.

"I'm not doing this. You can't make me do this!"

He stormed to her, his body was like a raging monster ready to rip her limb from sinew. "Do you wish to discuss this?"

"Yes! This is not fair or rehabilitative."

"Raise those arms and keep them even." He barked and she quickly raised her arms. He seemed to mentally calm himself. His steely blue eyes capture her browns. "This is a lesson learned through punishment."

"Punishment?! Because I slept in?"

"Among other things."

"Why are you doing this?" her arms began to shake and she tried to appeal to any sympathetic temperament he had.

"I guess we are done discussing. And we will start again." He glanced at his watch and started to pad back to his lounge.

"No, I'm not doing this. There are no meaning for this. I don't even have a fucking problem. It's just my people trying to keep this out of the press. " She dropped the books into her arms and held them at her chest relieved by the radiating nerves in her arms massaging numbness to her muscles.

"Perhaps I shall discuss this with your probation officer. You are un-rehabilitative and should be locked up. Which would also mean no movie deal for you."

She crinkled her brow in disbelief, "How did you know about that?"

"This is my house and in my house, you are my responsibility. I know everything that happens in my house and about you. So what is it? You've got ten seconds to get those books back into place or I make the decision for you."

She hugged the books tighter to her chest like a little girl holds her beloved doll. She didn't want to be in this house a moment longer, but she didn't want to lose a movie deal of a lifetime either. She felt cornered because she hadn't done anything that bad to be treated like this in the first place.

Tobias' mouth kept in a tight line, not really believing the girl. She was stunning but selfish. He knew she would fail. Mahin felt his complete abhor for her through his cold stare and crawl away. She knew he wanted to get rid of her as much as she wanted to leave.

"And we begin again, " his eyes brightened for a second as she struggled to bring her body into correct form as an unnatural scale. He returned to his book, his cold scowl disguised any clues about what he was thinking - he could be reading a steamy romance for all anyone knew.

She was glad she couldn't see any clocks, her arms were trembling again but her wrists remain strong.

She tried to focus on Tobias simply because she lack of subjects to make the time go faster. He was sitting in front of her with nothing else to divert her attention away from the pain radiating in her biceps. He was the last thing she wanted to think about; he didn't seem at all interested in her. Tobias hadn't looked up from his book in awhile. Even his scowl had melted into a blank face.

Beneath all the control and coldness, she knew he was sad and had an anger that simmered on a sea near a brewing storm. Mahin glanced to a nearby table and saw another picture of the lady sitting on Tobias' lap as he steered a sail.

The woman had taken the picture with her free hand, outstretched to the side of them. Her other arm wrapped around Tobias who looked focus and attentive steering the boat. But instead of just his unrelenting controlling personality and his haunted countenance; he looked free, full of love and bliss. It was obvious that whatever he had with this phantom woman had changed him. He was handsome and admittedly sexy now, but when he was happy he was adorable, likable.

Tobias glanced at her staring at his picture. He didn't know why, but he felt violated having her see that picture. He walked over to the table and turned it down. Without a word Tobias tapped the bottom of her sagging arms, reminding her to lift them.

Her eyes winced as she sufficiently re-aligned her arms into the perfect picture of justice. He returned to the deck and turn the lounge towards the ocean, leaving her feeling isolated even though he mere steps away.

Mahin couldn't help by spy on him through the window. She wondered what book he was reading.

The sun inched towards zenith and it was becoming too hot to read on the deck. The punishment had lasted 1 hour and it was time to reward her... Tobias stopped. No reward. Those days were gone, but he was so used to it. It stirred a familiar ache in his chest.

Tobias' eyebrows jumped in surprise when he turned towards the room. Mahin was still in perfect formation. Although, she beautifully trembled throughout her body and sweat poured down her face. He was taken aback by her face of pure tranquility and serenity, pushing through the pain focused with eyes closed. It's a sight that always made his cock harden.

He took the books from her arms and they remained suspended into the air. She was floating up into the ceiling. Again, his groin tightened. Her peaceful submission was tantalizing.

He tenderly massaged feeling into her arms, bringing her back down to the ground and reality. He guided her to the chase and she quietly sat down while he knelt in front of her, massaging her soft brown arms downwards. She mewed in pleasure. He stopped instincts from wanted to crawl on top of her and devour her dewy lips.

"You didn't feel unbalanced, you felt each arm weighed the same," he began never taking his focus off of her. "You eventually would even doubt you were holding up two different weights. This is your life, Mahin. When you live on unbalance for so long. It feels like you're normal and thriving; when in truth you were still off balance."

She only looked at him with a quizzical look.

He smiled and explained. "You should've only felt one part of your body floating away not the whole." He stood up and brushed his knees with his hands of invisible dust. "I know I am impressed. When you shut your mouth and you do your punishment well. You the need to learn consequences for your actions. You are you're all sweaty."

He tenderly chuckled.

"Go take a shower and then I want you to write about the effects of alcohol on your liver and nervous system, use Grey's Anatomy. The entire library is at your disposal. Your chores for today are to dust this entire floor and clean and fold all the dining linen. After lunch, I will show you my schedule and how to maintain it. Go on now, you only get a 10-minute shower."

She didn't know why she couldn't move. Perhaps she was stunned by his kindness. Yes, when Tobias was kind he was sexy. Still, she wanted to throw a snarky response about his bullshit about her living an unbalanced life, but she was so tired. He was so tender but his words were so harsh, she didn't understand. She was plastered to the chaise. He continued to rub her arms as if he were patiently waiting for her to say she was ok.

He perplexed her so.