How to Pleasure a Lady - & Yourself

Whatever sex or age you are, sex plays a great part in ” Mr, Mrs, or Ms Average’s” life. Invariably, each of you have aims, hopes, and expectations of certainly achieving great orgasms for yourself – and most likely – giving them to your partner. Unfortunately, few know how best to do this.

Cunnilingus; (going down on her) Fellatio; (giving a blow job) Masturbation, Intercourse: These are the usual paths to Ejaculation/Orgasm. (Getting off.)

In the case of self-gratification by masturbation, males usually do this reasonably satisfactorily by using their hands to stimulate their penis - so producing an ejaculation. With females, a much more varied source of body areas, techniques and objects are available to assist in achieving orgasm. Stimulation of breasts, clitoris, labia, and internal vagina (and other erogenous areas) are all used singly, or in various combinations, to reach a single (or series) of climaxes. I intend to concentrate here mainly on how best the male can pleasure his female partner. Taking any woman to the point she has to orgasm is a thing any guy can do to any gal – it just needs ‘know-how.’ However, I will list first a few techniques females can employ to attain orgasm in those moments alone when they feel randy –

Some Female Masturbation Techniques

“Tickle Your Fancy”:- Anything soft will do for this: paint brush, feather, bit of velvet! Start by tickling your nipples, then breasts and belly. Move it around your body, but don't touch your vagina. Then start on your inner thighs, back to nipples and belly, and then move down to your thighs again. Keep this up as long as you can stand it. The result is usually very intense.

“Ice-cool Ecstasy”: - Whilst lying naked and comfortable, have some ice-cubes to hand. Begin by slowly rubbing a cube on your breasts. Circle your nipples with it, and slowly proceed to move the cube down your body, finally on to your clitoris and labia. There is nothing like the icy temperature to set your nipples pouting erectly, or giving your clitoris an extreme energy rush.

“Lazy Washday Vibes”:- Whilst they are switched on doing the wash, park yourself on top of your washing- machine or dryer. Adjust your position and legs to get the full benefit of the vibrations. Cross your arms and relax. Let the vibes do the work until you cum and cum again.

“The Roller”, or “Tweeker” technique:- Using thumb and index finger, hold your clitoris between them, then roll it gently between them. Adjust the speed and pressure best suited to you to achieve an orgasm. Paused: • Right before you are about to climax, Stop. Relax a little, and then return masturbating. A few times doing this will make the end=result more powerful.

“The Clit Grinder”:- Grind your clit against any suitable object: Door, chair/sofa arm, and rock back and forth against it like you would a thrusting penis Use some fing help if you need it – chances are you won’t.

“Toad in the Hole”:- Stick a warm sausage inside a condom and stick it inside your vagina (hang on to the condom end!), then just enjoy it, or use your lower muscles to hurry things along. Unlike a penis, they don’t go soft on you at the instance when you need them hard most! (More enterprising ladies may prefer a sizeable cucumber!)

“Jetting Off”:- Whilst using a removable shower head to play water on your clitoris is a favourite ploy, your bath may not have one attached. An alternative to this is to have an empty liquid soap, or shampoo bottle in the bath with you. Fill it with water, hold it very close to your clitoris, and squeeze. The water jets out onto your clit – and WOW!

“Tap Dance”:- Lay on your back and pop your index finger on to yourr clitoris. Start lightly tapping it rhythmically, and continuously. Adjust the speed and pressure as the urge strikes you, until you just have to cum.

“The Seamstress”:- You need a pair of tight jeans for this. They have a stout seam runs near your clitoris. Sit in a chair and rock back and forth whilst moving it across your clit. That gets most females going.

“Polish the Pearl”:- using an electric toothbrush is best for this. Gently pop it onto your clit, and start ‘polishing’ it all over. Every gal I know that tried this says it is simply the best.

“Strip Tease”:- Lay down naked on your back with a small pillow by your side, and finger- tease yourself for a short while. Then roll over onto the pillow and hump it until you are about to orgasm - then stop. Repeat this as often as you can stand it. When you DO ‘explode’ it feels like a bomb went off inside.

“Good Vibrations”:- A decent size waterproof vibrator is needed for this: Get naked, lay and relax, switch on the dildo and set to work .lightly caress your my whole body – except your vagina. Give plenty of attention to nipples and breasts. Wait until your nipples are gorged and rock hard. By that time your pussy is hot, wet, and begging for attention. Use your dildo to start pumping in and out of your vagina, whilst using your other hand to rub your clit in a slow circular fashion. You do what comes naturally as your body starts to spasm. Just go for it…

(Many women never achieve orgasm through intercourse. A surprising number never experience an orgasm throughout their life. This has to be sad, and it is not so much the lack of desire to do so, as their own or partners’ lack of knowledge on how to achieve/induce one: It is my aim to pass this knowledge to both, in the writing that follows:)

I defy any man to fail to induce orgasms in his partner if he heeds my instructions. I defy any female desiring to have an orgasm to not get off if she is at the receiving end. First requisite is that each trusts the other and feels comfortable being intimate with them. This is more important for the female than the male. In general, if a guy is feeling randy he is as able to get off ‘shagging’ a knot-hole as he is a 36” 24” 36” sex bomb. Whilst most females can get off by themselves, and most by having a partner help, how frequently, how satisfying, and how intense, is proportionate to the trust they have in their partner, and his sexual skills.

Does penis size matter? It does not need to. (Though in fairness, I would sooner have ten inches than ten centimetres attending to my internal needs!) However, the bog standard average five point zero three inch American Male’s appendage will induce the desired effect admirably. Whilst a ‘quicky’ will keep a man happy, it invariably leaves his partner disappointed, unfulfilled, frustrated, and feeling cheated.

“Bang, bang, thank you Ma’am” is okay for the guy: It’s as much use to the girl as a top hat with sleeves in. The moral to this, men, is to treat your partner. That is right – give her a treat each time you screw with her – leave her satisfied and content. Believe me it’s better for both of you than your ‘bang, bang – shoot your load, - roll over, grunt, fart, and start to snore!

It is unfortunate, but so many females are so badly disappointed with their partner’s efforts, they find it best to ‘ let him get his rocks off quick’, and simulate an orgasm to keep him happy. The guy thinks he is a super-stud and is quickly snoring loudly – resembling a bear with asthma. Few men know when the woman is faking it, and ‘experts’ have you believe you cannot tell – but you can: Next time you think you are an 'all-pleasing rampant stallion', check her breasts and nipples. Note the difference between them when she does have an orgasm – and when she is just kidding to keep the peace. (Note: You may have to catch her at it alone in the bathroom to do that!)

Just for once – next time you decide to ‘bang’ her – try making gentle love to her instead. It is worth the effort for both of you.

Approach lovemaking with a purpose: That purpose should be to pleasure your partner. (In doing so, you pleasure yourself.) Bringing a female to orgasm can be likened to blowing up a festive balloon. It needs handling carefully (no fingernails causing damage), and takes just a little patience and effort to get things going. Women resemble a balloon (not literally, ha, ha,): Often a moist tongue and kiss around the neck makes the job easier. It is a little hard to get her build-up started – just as it is to get the first puff of air into the balloon. However, once that first step is over, the rousing of her sensuous emotions becomes progressively easier as you fill up her emotional balloon.

As with the balloon, do not rush too much once you are on the way. Feed her emotions as you would the balloon, taking care not to blow and burst it in one big rush. Pause for a moment to take a breath. If the balloon had a life of its own, it would want to be filled to brimming in a few large breaths. Your partner should now be feeling the same. Hold her, admire her, and tease her. Make her want it – then give her a little more. Kiss her tenderly, slowly, gently. Fondle her – but do not grope her. Keep concentrating on her upper body and breasts, only occasionally letting your hand or lips hover anywhere near her pubic mound. Caress her, stroke her, lead her right to the edge, and then ease off. Move to slightly less erogenous areas. Stroke her arms and wrists. Keep her hot, but tormented. She wants to get on with it, wants to feel you inside her, make her wait.

Vary your caresses: Be gentle, fondle her breasts, circle but do not touch her nipples. Use your mouth and flick your tongue around them. You will feel her desire building. Her thighs will strain involuntarily, hungry for you, begging for attention. Making love is an art. Women love the foreplay: the embracing, kissing, the sensuous touching, and the feeling of being loved. This is the reason we concentrate initially on any part of her body but that all- important spot between her legs.

If you go straight to her ‘pussy’, subconsciously she thinks all you want is to screw her. Of course you do, but let her know that you love all of her. Let her feel that you love her completely – not just her pouting hole. For this very reason, you should always follow a few rules. Even if she is just a ‘one-night-stand', follow them. Word will soon get round that you really are a stud, and other females will seek you out. (Give a ‘one-nighter’ the ‘whip-it-in-shoot-whip-it-out-and-wipe-it’ treatment, and you will soon find it harder to pick up a ‘piece of stray’).

If she is a steady partner or wife, by following these rules you will keep her happy and eager. (Convenient ‘headaches’ become a thing of the past). She will look forward to each new session with genuine desire and expectation. Her vaginal juices will start to flow, and – if you could see it – her pussy is already starting to gorge and pout in anticipation.

1/ Treat her as your best friend. Convey to her that she is the best thing in your life. Even hold and squeeze her hand. Gaze into her eyes; look at her with love filling your own. Look often and long into her eyes as you start your lovemaking.

2/ Let your caresses and kisses cover every part of her body (except her vagina. In seconds, you turn her whole body into one complete erogenous zone. Include her hair, ears, neck, eyes, shoulders, inner/outer arms, hands, between her breasts, thighs, buttocks - legs, feet, toes even.

3/ Vary your order (never follow a set routine.) As you feel her respond, tease her by including brief caresses and kisses to her inner thighs, then gaze into her eyes again before continuing to stimulate other areas.

4/ As you gauge her heightening excitement and pleasure, intersperse your kisses and caresses with gentle massage and sucking of ears, breasts, and elsewhere. As you do this, so you build up longing, and that all important thing, trust, in you.

(Few women even know what a good lover is – far less ever meet one…)

5/ Enjoy what you are doing, and let it show. Whether you have had her regularly, or it is your first time together, surprise her. Show her you really are a good lover. Do not just go for her ‘LTP’ (lips, tits and pussy) – most males do that – surprise and delight her by treating the rest of her body. Do it with unselfish generosity. It will be a new and very pleasing experience for her, she will respond filled with emotion.

To males, sex and love do not necessarily go hand in hand. Love is one thing: having some pussy is something else. Love to the man is an emotion: ‘Getting his rocks off’ is an instinctive urge. Few females are like that – or will admit even it to themselves.

It is woman’s nature to be wanted. Her desire is to be appreciated. To her, sex is the end-result of a loving relationship, and emotional intimacy. By your above action you have created the necessary trust and bonding. To her, you are no longer a partner just after his oats - you are as one with her, your loving emotions deeply entwined. So much so, that the desire to be sexually intimate with you is no longer propelled mostly by a desire to please you – or get you off her back – it has become a genuine need and desire on her part to both release her own emotions, and to give pleasure to her lover.

(And to think! Here she is almost begging for it, and you haven’t even touched her sexual organ yet…)

Unless you indulge in this foreplay, just ramming your penis inside her and thrusting, invariably makes her at least a little sore. She knows she has no chance of getting off herself, so fakes an orgasm to get it over with.

Once you are adept at the above, it will not be unusual if she has already had one or more orgasms – but she sure as taxes will be hungry for that Dick of yours to slide in and give her the ‘really big one’.

6/ Having gotten her into a highly aroused, and receptive state, it is time to give her ‘love-nest’ some attention: Let your hand just brush her pubic hair (or where it was if she shaves it), and then slide it in between her thighs. Cover her whole vagina with your palm for a moment, hold it, even give it a gentle loving squeeze, then use a finger to go between the lips. (At this point she usually moves to part her legs, so exposing herself fully to facilitate you giving it the full attention it seeks.

Use your fingers to pleasure her external bits. She should be well moist, but you can always wet your fingers, or use your mouth to apply some spittle lubrication. Pay most attention to her clitoris – always bearing in mind it is an extremely delicate and sensitive organ.

By this time you have probably had several ‘hard-ons’ yourself, and your balls may well be aching to shoot their load. If you have gotten her where both you and her want her to be emotionally, and have not already done so – and it is wise to use a condom – this is the time to do so. Most partners are both willing and eager to fit this on for you.

7/ With protection fitted – if desirable – it is now time to get down to the real business of actual intercourse, but – once again - do not rush it. Okay, you both want it, however, her pleasure will be all the more if you continue your ‘teasing’. Start by rubbing your penis head around her inner lips, and clitoris. Slide the shaft up and down her clitoris a few times.

She will be wondering why you are not sticking it in her. By now, she will know you are rock hard and know you could drive it home. Even if she wants it so badly she urges you to ‘give it to her’, hold back from doing so. Tease her some more by just touching her vaginal opening with it, and then use it to rub her clitoris again. This clitoral stimulation is almost too much for her – she wants that Dick driven right home inside her – but, however much she indicates by words or thrusting to get it in her - resist.

By attending to her clitoris, you have her aching for an orgasm. So, tease her more – by feeding just your knob into her. Ease it in and out slowly. However much she wants more, make sure she only gets your knob for starters. Then slowly, as you go in and out, feed her another inch, and then another. Resist giving her more. Keep at least half your length from entering her.

She will become even more aroused. Because you both so want it, but are not getting it, in effect you are both holding back. Keep teasing her until you just can’t take it any more. Her orgasm will have built up to near its peak. Go in deeper a couple of times, it will be too much for her. At this point really drive home.

Dependant on your partner, she may just want you to press and hold hard as her orgasm floods over her. Others want you to keep ramming fast and hard. (It is up to you to do what she wants you to do) – either way, you will have as good an orgasm as you have ever had. More to the point, your partner will also have had a real, and genuine one herself. It may well be her first – it will almost certainly be the best she ever got from a guy.

Believe me, even the most frigid of women when treated with patience and loving care in this way, almost scare themselves by having an orgasm which almost blows their mind.

Now for the bonus of all this attention: If you can get yourself hard again quickly, you have gotten her so aroused you can bang her and bang her again. (Yes – really BANG her. No teasing necessary now, and probably for the first time in her life she will get a series of multiple orgasms. Hold back your own as long as you can and she will continue getting orgasms. Kiss and tongue with her now, and you will have another surprise: Her orgasmic state is reflected in her mouth juices. They become delightfully intoxicating, deliciously sweet, like finest honey. Once you have tasted this with a partner you will want more: It is almost like having a full body orgasmic sensation yourself, and sends shivers right through you. It is almost like a drug – you will want it more and more…

So endeth my first lesson … But there is more:

A few hints on getting and giving good oral sex, and a few more bits on orgasms and things.

This First Part Is For The Ladies:

How to give a good ‘Blowjob”.

Several experts have offered views on the best ‘Blow Job’ Techniques, both on the WEB, and in books. There follows some information from my own experience, and those of others culled from different sources:

“Start with gentle teasing, by licking the man's testicles and the shaft of the penis. Make sure your lips are wet and use lots of saliva lubrication. Blowing on his penis with your hot breath will also give him considerable pleasure.

Get yourself into a position so the he can watch you at work This is a real turn-on for a man.

Use your hands for an extra bit of teasing: run them all over his testicles and genital area. When you start to feel him squirm it is time to start on the next phase: Holding the shaft, take his penis head into your mouth. Purse your lips together to forming a sealing ring around it, and imitate a vacuum tube, by gently sucking on the head of the penis.

Use lots of saliva for lubrication, and concentrate almost totally on the head of the penis – just occasionally taking him all the way inside you mouth. Whilst doing this you can lightly stroke the shaft with one hand as you would if masturbating (wanking) him off.

Need a little variety? Try an ice cube or a mint in you mouth.

If you want to really excite and please him, give him some ‘Deep Throat’: To do this right you need practice in keeping your throat as relaxed as possible. At first, you get a natural gag reflex. Just like a sword swallower, with practice the urge to gag ceases. (Practice with your finger, or a peeled banana.) Unlike a sword, his penis has no sharp edges.

After teasing him until he is near ready to shoot, start using an up and down motion on his head and shaft. Keep your lips pursed tight and proceed to take as much of his full length in and out as you can. And keep one hand fondling his testicles and under his ass. The average American penis is 5.03” it should slide home with no effort. (With practise you can ‘deep –throat’ double that in comfort.) What you have to decide next is: