In a Class of His Own Ch. 09

Anna sought me out at the end of the day on Monday. She was worried about me. I needed time to reflect, but I didn't think that my mind was going to change.

- "Why don't you come over, Saturday night? Let me make a meal for you." I suggested.

- "You don't have to do that." she said. Anna seemed a bit uneasy. Was she that afraid of my cooking? It was only later that I realized - she probably interpreted my invitation to mean that I wanted to try having sex again.

- "We need to talk, Anna." I said. "Better in private than in a restaurant, I think."

- "Oh. Yes - you're right." Now she looked sensitive and understanding. I'm sure she could see that I didn't want to discuss my failure to maintain an erection in public.

I thought about Anna all week. I reconsidered every aspect of our relationship. But I wasn't wrong. She was devoted to her large family, and it was unlikely that she would ever leave her hometown. I still wanted to travel, and I certainly wasn't ready to start having children. I wasn't even sure if I wanted a family at all.

Would I be a better parent than my own mother and father? That wouldn't be difficult. But would it be enough?

The question of sex also loomed large. I didn't need a freak, but I didn't want a Madonna on a pedestal, either. There had to be a happy medium. Nina, for instance. Or Moe. Why would I settle for far less than I had with either of them?

I had never broken up with someone before. It had always been me getting dumped - twice, with Moe. I would have preferred that, now. But I was determined to give Anna every consideration. She deserved honesty, and privacy.

Anna was a bit jittery, when she came over. She was dressed really nice, but her usual bright smile seemed a little tentative. She probably expected that we would be having sex. In hindsight, I should have let her know that it was off the table.

Last Saturday hung between us, like an unwelcome guest. Anna thanked me for cooking for her, but I don't think she enjoyed the meal. Conversation was a bit stilted, too, because I was rehearsing - in my head - what I wanted to say to her.

After dinner, I suggested that we move to the couch.

- "Anna, we need to talk." I began.

- "About last week?" she said. "It's OK, Chris. It happens, sometimes."

- "No - it's not about that. I mean ... it is, but it's also ..." So much for rehearsal.

- "It's what?"

- "Anna, I just ... I don't think we should see each other anymore."

From the look on her face, I realized that I could have approached the subject more gradually. Instead, I had just dumped the whole pot of clams into her lap.

- "What did you say?"

- "Anna, you're wonderful, and beautiful ... but we're really different people -"

- "Are you breaking up with me?" she said.

- "It would probably be best, for both of us -"

- "You're fucking dumping me?" I had never heard her swear before - it startled me. "You're dumping me?"

- "If you want," I said, "we can tell people that it was your idea."

She didn't hear that. "What am I supposed to say to my family? To Nonna? Why are you doing this, Chris? Tell me why. Is it because you couldn't get it up last week?"

I tried to explain about our different experiences with family, and how I didn't want to be the lone 'cake' attached to her very large family.

- "So now you don't like my family?"

I learned some very important things that evening.

#1 Anna was not a happy camper when things didn't go her way. How had I missed that?

#2 Don't break up with someone in your own place. At their house is fine - you can always leave - or frankly, run for your life - if things get nasty. Anna was at my place. If she didn't want to go, what could I do?

#3 Think about what you're going to say.

#4 I was still an idiot.

Anna didn't want to go. At least, not until she got everything off her chest. She left very little unsaid. On the positive side, she didn't break anything. Eventually, she stormed out.

School was winding down, as the end of June approached. There were no final exams, so the students were a bit wild - summer wasn't that far off. But they were sentimental, too: they had enjoyed being with Antonia and me, and they were going to miss us.

Within a week, though, everyone on staff knew that Anna and I were no longer together. They immediately took sides.

Antonia was supportive, in the sense that she still talked to me - even if it was mostly to tell me what an ass I was. Nelson, the computer guy, was neutral, probably to thank me for not cutting in on Louise. He still hadn't asked her out, but he appreciated me leaving the field open for him.

Fortunately, the school year ended. And then Nina arrived.

- "Wow!" was my initial reaction. "You look great!"

- "Thank you." she said. "You look ... down. Are you alright?"

- "It's a long story."

- "That's why I'm here - the weekend of the long stories. Correction: the platonic weekend of the long stories."

Nina wasn't pleased to see that I had set her up in my bedroom, while I would be camping on the couch.

"I can't kick you out of your own room." she said.

- "You weren't here when the vote was held. You lost."

I had cooked a meal - for old time's sake. Nina was delighted.

- "I really miss your cooking." she said. "That was a wonderful time, when you visited."

- "It was like a honeymoon." I said. "I'll never forget it."

We were finishing our dinner when my door buzzer sounded. I was probably more surprised than Nina - I didn't get many visitors, apart from the pizza guy.

It was Anna.

She handed me a plastic bag. "Here's your stuff."

I was confused. What stuff? But I remembered my manners.

- "Would you like to come in for a minute? My friend is here. We're just about to have coffee." I had told Anna about Nina, and that she was coming to visit - before our breakup.

Nina came over to the door. "Hi. I'm Nina." she said.

Anna took a good, long look. Her lips started to curl - but it wasn't a smile. I would have to describe it as a sneer.

- "I get it." she said. "You wanted me out of the way so you could fuck your ex-girlfriend. Well ... fuck you, Chris!" Anna threw the plastic bag at me, and bolted down the hall.

I didn't follow her.

- "Umm ... that was Anna." I said.

- "Your girlfriend?" said Nina.

- "Ex."

- "Yeah - that was pretty obvious. What happened?"

I was sifting through the items in the plastic bag. Anna had returned three books that I'd bought her, a sweater, two CDs, and two mixed tapes I'd made for her. Basically, every non-perishable gift that I'd ever given her, except for the silver bracelet and the gold chain.

Over coffee, I told Nina the whole story. I was painfully aware, as I related the details, that I wasn't exactly the hero of my little tale. Nina listened attentively, and asked a question here and there.

- "Well, from the sound of it, I don't think you should marry her." she said.

- "Neither do I."

Nina helped with the dishes, and then we moved to the couch, with an after dinner drink. Nina wasn't a big drinker, but she would sip while we talked.

- "What about you?" I asked.

- "What about me?"

- "You haven't mentioned anyone, but your letters for the last while ... it felt like you were leaving a lot out."

- "Really? You could tell?" she said.

- "What were you leaving out? Was it a guy? You got serious?"

Nina shook her head. "Come on, Chris. You don't want to hear about my love life."

- "Yes, I do." I said. "OK - not the clinical detail - if you fucked him on the sheepskin in front of the fireplace, I don't want to know. Or how many orgasms you had -"

- "Eww." She made a face.

- "But Nina ... how you feel, where your heart is ... of course I want to know."

- "Are you sure?" she asked.

- "Absolutely."

Nina took a deep breath. "OK - you asked for it. I was seeing a guy - Paul. It was serious enough. I was beginning to wonder ... if he was the one."

- "And?"

- "He wasn't." she said.

- "What happened?" I asked.

- "He just ... he wasn't you."

I didn't answer. I should have, because that short sentence hung in the air between us.

"Ever since you came to visit - actually, ever since Windermere - I've been measuring men by the standard you set. I want somebody smart, good-looking, funny - and fun to be with. He also has to respect me, and want to make me happy. I want a considerate lover. Is that too much to ask?"

I could only shake my head.

"I know it's possible, because there's ... you. The first guy I got serious with had a lot going for him. But when he went down on me - sorry, I'm getting clinical. He seemed to be just going through the motions, you know? Because he felt he had to. It was all about him. And then I noticed the same thing about our conversations - it was always about him."

"And Paul - he was smart, like you. Funny, caring. And so supportive. But the chemistry just wasn't there. You know what I mean - without getting clinical?"

- "Yes."

- "It' like ... there have to be more guys like you out there. Right? I think you're one in a million, Chris. But that should mean that there are a couple of hundred men like you out there."

"Aww ... rats." she said.

- "Nina?"

- "I'm sorry." she said. "I came down here for a platonic weekend. I just wanted to tell you my news. I knew that - I mean, I thought you were seeing Anna. It sounded serious, from your letters."

- "What news?" I asked. "Nina - what happened?"

- "It's good. It's good news. I was offered a promotion. A big promotion."

Somehow, from her tone of voice alone, I knew that it also involved a move.

- "Congratulations!" I said, trying to sound more enthousiastic than I felt. "Where?"

- "Phoenix." She looked into my eyes, as if seeking my approval.

- "Is it the job you wanted?"

- "It's a big promotion. More money, more responsibility ... more everything."

- "Wow."

- "Yeah."

- "Nina." I said. "I's so glad you're here - you have no idea. But this news ... Big as it is - you could have put it in a letter. Couldn't you?"

She shook her head, sadly this time. "No. Not this time. It's a long way, Chris ... and it's a big step, for me. Just like this taking this job here was a big step for you."

"I had a feeling ... the way you described Anna ..."

- "Used to describe Anna." I said.

- "I thought that your next letter might contain an invitation to a wedding."

- "What?" I laughed.

- "It sounds ridiculous, now." she said. "But you love your work, and you love this school - it sounded like the next logical step."

- "Wow ... no. You thought ...?"

- "I was curious. I thought that meeting her, and telling you my news - well, that it might give me a hint, of how we would act around each other if one of us did get married."

I knew what she meant. I had wondered the same thing.

- "I will always care for you, Nina."

- "I know." she said. "But can we go from lovers - long-distance lovers - to friends?"

- "Why not?"

- "Your wife might not like me. Or approve of our friendship." she said.

- "Anna wasn't the one. We broke up before you got here. And it wasn't because of you." I said. "Well, except in the sense that she didn't measure up to the standard that you've set."

We fell silent, for a moment. I offered Nina another drink.

- "I'm sorry, Chris. We can probably talk about this tomorrow. Right now, I think we should go to bed."

- "Oh - Nina. I'm sorry. You must be exhausted - it's a long drive."

- "I'm a little tired." she admitted. "But you're not hearing me right. I think that we should go to bed."

I heard that slight inflection on the 'we'. "Ah ..."

- "I was expecting a platonic weekend. Now I'm just relieved that it doesn't have to be."

She made me wait, though, while she took a shower. Then she took great delight in stripping me of my clothes.

We made love on my bed. It was gentle, tender, and caring. Then it became more intense, more passionate. Near the end, we were both a little wild - almost frenzied.

Then we slept, for a little while. Nina awoke before me, and took me in her mouth. Once I was restored to full hardness, she mounted me, and rode to another orgasm.

We slept in. I watched her sleep for a while, amazed at my good fortune. She had put on a pound or two, around the waist, but it didn't detract from her beauty at all. I was fascinated by her nose, and her lips.

She opened her eyes, to find me looking at her. That won me a smile.

- "Good morning." she said.

- "It is." I agreed. "What would you like to do today?"

- "Sleep a little more." she said. "Then shower. Make love. Talk a bit. Make love again."

- "That sounds wonderful. But in the evening, I'm taking you out to celebrate your promotion."

I kissed her on the forehead, and let her drift back to sleep.

***

Nina put on a ridiculously sexy dress. The sleeves were loose, and puffy. The neckline wasn't especially daring, but the way it clung to her chest was positively indecent. it was tight, and silky, but so sheer that I could have read the inscription on her navel piercing - if she had had one. The dress reached only to mid-thigh.

- "Holy ... that dress is platonic?"

She blushed. "I wasn't going to wear it. I don't really know why I brought it - there was this little voice in my head, telling me to pack it."

- "I'm so glad you did. But if I don't make any sense over dinner, you'll only have yourself to blame."

At the restaurant, our waiter was a young guy. We got spectacular service.

- "You used the word 'honeymoon', yesterday." said Nina. "For when you came to see me in Cleveland. That was very accurate."

- "I could say the same for when you came to visit me. It was perfect."

- "Why do you think that is?" she asked. "I agree - I just wonder why."

I had thought about it before, and we had touched on the subject, in our letters.

- "Well - there's the obvious. We make love all the time. I'm crazy in lust with you, on top of everything else."

- "You know, it's funny." she said. "I wouldn't describe myself as highly sexed - except when I'm with you."

- "What a wonderful thing to say." My ego didn't need stoking at the moment, but I was going to remember her words, and save them for a rainy day when I was feeling down.

- "It's true." she said. "And I've given a lot of thought to what you wrote a long time ago. We never argue. But it's not because I bury my resentment. You just don't do anything that I find really annoying. And you've never criticized me - not once."

- "Why would I?"

- "I'm not perfect, Chris. Far from it."

- "Pretty damn close, Nina." I said.

She blushed. "You make me feel so good. Physically, emotionally ... is there any way I can convince you to come to Phoenix?"

- "I'll come visit." I said. "I've never seen the desert. But you know that I'd visit you anywhere."

- "I wasn't thinking of a visit."

For the second time, her words just hung between us. This was a subject we had explored - briefly - a long time ago. She was a proud American, and I wasn't. There were subjects we didn't delve into too deeply. It was a bit like a Yankees fan and a Red Sox fan, with an unspoken agreement not to discuss baseball.

I couldn't teach in the States. I knew that, beyond any doubt. There had always been a sliver of hope, in my mind, that Nina might take the plunge and come to Canada - but this promotion meant a commitment of at least a few years in Phoenix, in the same way that I really couldn't leave Pinecrest for another year, at the earliest.

- "The Gods are cruel." I said. "They put us at the Cliffs of Moher, and then again at York, at the exact same time. But I can't move to the States, and I can't ask you to give up your career - and your country - to come be with me."

"Sometimes ... this is going to sound nerdy - but sometimes, I picture us as a birdman and a mermaid."

- "I can see it." she said. "Like a fairy tale." Her voice quivered a bit. A tear appeared at the corner of her eye. I wasn't doing much better.

- "I'm so sorry, Nina. For both of us. I love you so much ... but ..."

- "Sssh." She hushed me. "You can stop at 'I love you so much'."

- "Okay - I will."

- "And then you can ask for the bill. I think you should take me home."

Back at my apartment, Nina excused herself to use the washroom. When she came out, there was something slightly different about her. I couldn't figure it out until she sat down on the couch, next to me. She taken her bra off.

The dress was so tight, it clung to her magnificent breasts like a super-thin wetsuit. I could see her nipples clearly.

When our lips touched, I felt weak. My knees were trembling. When my hand caressed her breast, through that sheer dress, I thought I might pass out.

I had one brief moment of sanity - I didn't want to stretch or stain her dress. So I picked her up in my arms, and carried her to my bed. Somehow, we got that wonderful garment off, without ruining it. I sat her on the edge of the bed, and knelt between her legs, to worship her breasts, and pay them the homage they were due.

Nina was so aroused, already, that when I went down on her, it only took a few minutes for her to reach her first orgasm.

She slid down, onto the floor, and took my erection into her mouth. She attacked my cock with such enthousiasm that she grazed my cock a few times with her teeth. Finally, she just grabbed my ass, and started pulling me into her face, encouraging me to fuck her mouth. I couldn't last long, with that kind of stimulation. She swallowed everything I had to offer, and then hugged me tight, unwilling to let go.

We held each other, in bed, for a long time, whispering meaningless words, kissing and caressing. When our vigour returned, we made love, calmly, and patiently. I have no idea how long it lasted, but it seemed like an incredibly long time.

The following day - the Sunday - we ate, and talked, and made love. I offered to show Nina around, but she declined.

- "I'd rather stay in - if that's okay with you."

It most certainly was.

We slept late, on the holiday Monday - exhaustion was a factor. Just after noon, though, Nina loaded her car, and kissed me goodbye. I had no idea when I would see her again.

- "Write me." she said.

***

Steve called a few days later. He wanted to know my plans for the summer.

- "What are you doing? Are you coming home?" he asked.

- "I was planning to. Why?"

- "Can you be home before the 1st of August?"

- "If I have to. Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

- "No. Just be here. I need you August 1st, 4th and 6th. Make sure you're here." said Steve.

- "Will do." I said. "Care to tell me what this is about?"

- "You're helping me paint, and move."

- "You're getting a new place?"

- "Yeah." he said. "But there's more."

- "Okay."

- "And it's a secret."

That was mysterious enough. I was curious.

I went out with Antonia and her boyfriend, Martin - or, fiancee, I should say. He had finally accepted his destiny. In fact, he was a lucky guy, and I told him so. They had set a date: December 31st. A bit odd, but I suppose he wouldn't have too much trouble remembering his anniversary.

At the end of July, I went home. Pinecrest was where I worked, but I didn't think of it as home, yet. The only real friends I had made there were Antonia and Chantal.

Steve gave me directions to his new place. Kim and Sarah were waiting outside with him. Kim gave me a hug. I had met her before: She was a sweetie, and easily my favourite of the girls Steve had dated.

- "Thank you for coming to help us." she said.

- "Wouldn't miss it." I said.

- "Free pizza?" said Steve. Are you kidding? He can smell it before they put in the oven."