Decisions Ch. 12

Dedicated to: William and everyone who joined me on this journey. You're the real number twelve.

*****

Chapter 1:

Dreams can be the strangest things. You can have dreams where you know it's fake, where you know that you're dreaming because everything is so preposterous. Yet, there are some dreams that are the exact opposite. You have them and they feel so real that you wonder if you're asleep or awake. Yet, you forget about them as soon as you wake up and go about your day, locking them forever to the deepest recess of your mind. But, little do people know that dreams are your mind simply trying to tell you something.

You just have to figure out what they're trying to say.

I can hear it like it was yesterday, the screaming of the crowd, the dull thud of football players running into each other. I'm the quarterback, directly behind the center and ready to take the snap, creating order among chaos. I hike the ball, dropping back three steps, ready to fling it into the endzone. I see my open man and throw the ball to him.

It never gets there.

My eyes widen as the safety steps in front of the ball, intercepting it before it can reach my receiver's outstretched hands. The safety immediately takes off, hell bent on reaching our end zone... and there's no one there to stop him except me. Everything else disappears until it's just us in a dance floor the size of a football field. I chase him down, lowering my shoulder to go for his legs, the safest way for a quarterback to tackle.

He's faster, he's stronger, and he's better. I miss him by a mile, grunting as I hit the ground in a tangle of limbs. The last thing I see before the tears take over and blur my vision is the shrinking uniform number of his back as he celebrates his way into the endzone. I want to lay there and do nothing but feel sorry for myself but I know I can't.

Because sports are all about strength, speed, and agility.

But they always miss one thing. The most valuable thing that applies outside of sports. It applies everywhere. It applies to life, it applies to relationships, it applies to love and not hate. They always forget about it.

They forget about heart.

Everybody, no matter your age, race, or species, is capable of being great.

******

Cool, warm serenity. My body was flowing down a soft river. Except, I wasn't flowing anywhere. It just felt like I was. I was trapped in one place, my body completely immobilized, unable to move anything except for my eyes. It didn't matter though, I liked what I was seeing.

I was staring straight up into the sky, my vision dominated by towering redwood trees. They were majestic plants, towering up to three hundred feet in length. Some say that the giants we knew now were descended from them... if that made any sense.

That's besides the point.

I knew this place. My body moved without my control, sitting up and looking around. Yes, I've been here. It just looked differently. It was once a bitter winter landscape, filled with nothing but cold, snow, and hate. Now, it was just a cool and field, shaded by the gigantic trees.

I've been here before. How had I not recognized it? I loved this place. Or, I did love it the last time I visited here.

Yosemite National Park. My parents took Stasi and I up here when we were younger. It was a beautiful place, with miles of hiking trails and acres of unpopulated areas. I remember because of an incident when Stasi accidentally tripped and fell into a stream, nearly getting hypothermia. We shared a sleeping bag that night to conserve body heat. She couldn't fall asleep and neither could I being so close to her, so I ended up spending the entire night with her pointing out anything of note: stars, constellations, and animals.

That was not only the most awkwardest moment of my life, but it was the beginning of my feelings for her... or at least it was one of the most moments where I saw her as more than a best friend. Holding onto her lithe, developing frame and comforting her throughout the night would do that to you.

Too bad we never went back there. National Parks, no matter how uncomfortable the Sun made Stasi, were our sanctuaries. It was a place where the DTOSA could never reach us. Our own little nature wonderland.

"Chris?" A melodious voice asked to my right. A quiet accented voice, with a pretty heavy trace of Russian.

I turned my head, or at least I would've turned my head had it not been done for me. Every action I made was unconscious and automatic. I had no free will. I didn't care Stasi's face stared back at me. It was a face I knew and loved dearly, a delicate featured face, framed by tresses of wavy raven hair, accompanied by large crystal blue eyes, and accentuated by that gorgeous fang-filled smile.

Yes?

"Hi sleepyhead." She whispered.

Hey Stasi.

So many things to say to her, yet I didn't know where to start. I was happy to see her. I was always happy to see her. As a matter of fact, I was ecstatic. With her, I was whole. Without her, I was a broken toy. So, so broken. It was a mentality that was born through our long and joyful companionship, tested by the fires of racism and hate.

"Honey," Stasi said firmly, taking hold of my hand with her cold one. "Honey, it's time to wake up."

What?

"Wake up!" She repeated. "Come on."

My eyes opened as my mom shook my shoulder again.

No! Give her back!

"Honey," She repeated. "Are you awake?"

"I'm awake, I'm awake." I mumbled, my head pounding. I brought my hand up to my neck, rubbing at the muscle as pain shot up through it. I had a crick in my neck and it hurt. I looked around my room. I had fallen asleep at my desk, not for the first time in my high school life. Not for the first time these past few weeks, either. I was always so tired that I would fall asleep anywhere and everywhere.

My eyes travelled back to my laptop. I fell asleep right on my keyboard and not only was there a puddle of drool of the palm rest, but the Google Doc I had open had ten pages worth of complete gibberish from my head resting on the keys.

Along with the damn notification for damn sticky keys. No, I didn't want to turn on the most useless function on my computer!

"What time is it?" I asked.

"6:28 PM. I was coming to get you for dinner." My mom said, peering at my computer screen. "Someone was busy."

"Mmmhmm," I grunted. "Totall-... oh crap."

Stasi's name was at the top of the page, announcing that she had logged in. Google Docs was pretty cool because we could collaborate with each other on the same online document in real time. It made group projects a breeze... except when you didn't pull your own weight.

Like me.

With bated breath, I watched her cursor scroll all the way down from her part of the case, to my part, then to the part where it was nothing but nonsense for about ten pages. She scrolled all the way through it before coming to a rest at the bottom of the document.

She didn't move.

"I wonder what she's thinking," My mom said dryly.

"She'll kill me," I groaned, massaging at my neck.

"I think you're overreacting," My mom replied, brushing my hand aside to knead the taut and sore flesh. "She won't kill you for something you can delete with a drag of a mouse."

"No, I don't think she cared that I fell asleep. I think she just cares more that I was supposed to work on it for the past few days, left it all for today, and then fell asleep."

"Oh... well, yes, knowing my second child and pseudo-daughter, she'll kill you for that."

My phone buzzed, announcing that I had a text. Cringing, I picked it up, flipping to my messages. Of course, I stopped to admire the wallpaper I had. It was a new one. I retired the one of Stasi at the Coven Ball. What? Did you think I was going the keep it forever? The one I had now was Stasi and I taking a quick picture at the Golden Gate Bridge. She was kissing my cheek and I was holding the camera, making a funny face. It was a random, nondescript moment in our shared life.

But, I digress. I had an angry vampire on my hand. I opened up my messages. Sure enough, there was one from Stasi.

Did you fall asleep at your comp? X

I typed back a quick reply.

Sorry. :( X

She sent one back even quicker.

It's ok. Go get ur rest. We can finish this later if you want. X

"That wasn't that bad," My mom noted, looking over my shoulder and making me jump about ten feet in the air.

"Geez, mom! Come on! Personal space, please!" I protested.

She cocked her eyebrow. "How come with me it's called 'personal space' but with Anna it's-..."

"Mom!"

"Kidding, sweetie. Just teasing you." She laughed, ruffling my hair. "Come down for dinner when you're ready. I'll find a hot pad or roller for your neck."

"Thank you." I said. She patted me on the head and left my room, closing the door behind her. As soon as I heard her footsteps walking down the stairs, I picked up my phone and called Stasi. The click announced that she immediately picked up. We were silent for a few seconds and I thought that she had picked up on accident until I decided to speak.

"Stasi-.." I began.

"Chris-.." She said at the same time. I sighed when I heard her. The sound of her voice quelled the ache in my heart. Only barely, though.

"You go first," I said.

"No, you go." She replied quickly.

"Stasi-..." I pleaded.

"Lyubov, go. Or else." She warned.

"Fine," I said. "I just... I'm totally sorry I fell asleep. I didn't mean to. I had a dream about you and I wanted to hear your voice. Even though I saw you just yesterday and talked to you this morning, I miss you. Like a lot."

She was silent for a few seconds. "You dreamed about me?" She questioned.

"Yes. I always dream about you."

"What was the dream about?" She asked. Even through the phone, I could detect that small note of fearfulness. This whole year, I had a tendency to get nightmares, especially after the incident. Stasi always secretly thought that when I meant those nightmares involved her, that meant that they were of her hurting me. She just never seem to got that the nightmares were of her being hurt... well, everybody being hurt really.

And I was helpless to do anything about it.

"It was a good dream," I murmured, already forgetting the major details of it. "We were at Yosemite and just being kids, I think. I forgot everything else about it but I just know that it was a great dream."

"Yosemite?" Stasi replied and I could practically hear the smile in her voice. That beautiful fang filled smile. "We haven't been there in so-.."

"-Long," I finished. "I know. We should go back."

"We should."

Our voices trailed off before she decided to speak again. "Do you want to come over?" She blurted. "Or me to come over... or meet somewhere? I miss you too and I can't stand being away from you. I really want... no, not want, need. I need to see you. We can work on the project together and everything. We don't even have to do that. We can play video games, do homework, study for AP tests..."

"That'd be nice," I said happily, breathing a sigh of relief. I was going to see Stasi again. "There's always a spot for you at the dinner table. We're having chowder for dinner."

"Great," Stasi sang with delight. "I'll be there in fifteen. Let me just tell my parents. I love you, zaichik."

"Love you too, Stasi." I said before hanging up. I stared happily at the background picture before setting down my phone and walking downstairs to the dinner table. My parents had already set everything up and were waiting for me.

"Well, hello stranger." My dad greeted.

"Robert," My mom warned.

"What?" My dad laughed. "I hardly see him anymore. He's been running out of the house to the library, then school, then he locks himself in the room like a princess. He's practically become detached from this family."

"Sorry dad," I said, taking my seat at the round table.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. I'm only teasing," My dad said, bumping me on the arm with his fist. "Besides, you deserve all the alone time you can get after UCLA! Isn't the right, Susan?"

"I don't think being accepted to UC Los Angeles warrants not becoming a member of this family anymore, but whatever floats your boat." My mom quipped, smiling at me. "We're all so proud of you, Chris."

"Thanks mom." I said, turning red as I spooned a generous helping of my mom's homemade clam chowder onto my bowl. "Can Stasi come over after dinner? We're working on a project."

"Sure. You don't have to ask, you know. Anna's always welcome," My dad replied. "Is it about the case?"

"Uh-huh." I replied, nearly scalding my tongue on the hot soup.

"Did you sleep alright, Chris?" My mom asked. "You were mumbling something."

"I was?"

"You were," My mom confirmed before rubbing my arm. "Have you been sleeping well lately, honey? You seem to have been taking more naps than usual."

"I sleep fine. Just not as much as I would like." I admitted. I hated to admit it but when Stasi was with me, I slept fine. More than fine, in all actuality. I slept great when I was cuddling with her cold body. When she wasn't here, I just tossed and turned all night only to wake up exhausted the next morning. I didn't want to sound like a complete sissy, but without her, I suffered from an aching heart.

It was the same for her, except she had it easier. Vampires were supposed to be awake during the night and asleep during the day. The medication she used made sleep easier to come. That didn't make her any less anxious to see me though.

"You're exhausted," My mom chastised. "You need rest. None of those thirty minute naps, either. That's not rest."

"You should stop working on that Board Meeting case and let someone else handle it," My dad added. "You're supposed to be lazy at this point in the school year, not working hard. Hell, I'm supposed to be telling you to work at this time of year, not telling you to slow it down."

"Sorry to disappoint." I replied, not sorry in the slightest. I took pride in the work I did for the Nonhuman Civil Rights Movement, spreading peace and love to humans and the value of forgiveness to nonhumans. After everything that happened to me, to us, I was still willing to be forgiving. Why wouldn't I? Forgiveness was a tool. It liberates the soul. That was why it was such a valuable weapon.

"When are you presenting your case?" My dad asked.

"His case?" My mom snickered. "More like Anna's case."

I didn't even bother to argue. Technically, she wasn't wrong. When I had grown despondent, ratty, and unable to work, Stasi gently took over and picked up my slack.

"At the next school board meeting," I answered, mopping up some chowder with a loaf of sourdough.

"What's it even about again? Something about werewolves?"

"A werewolf bill, if I wasn't mistaken," My mom said. "It's for the next school year but it might become statewide, or even nationwide if it gets enough traction. It's designed and purported to limit werewolves transforming during the night and day in public areas designated for that very purpose, mind you."

"Poor things," My dad replied, taking a sip of his water. He was weaning himself off of alcohol. "Werewolves are the most misunderstood nonhumans next to vampires."

"Your lack of tact is astou-... Chris, are you alright?!"

"A bit tired." I murmured, resting my head on my arm. My steaming hot clam chowder, my favorite meal on a cold night like tonight, lay a little bit aways from me, forgotten. "Okay, maybe really tired."

"Tut tut, I never should've woken you up." My mom muttered. "That's it you, you're going straight back to bed."

"Can't," I mumbled.

"Why not?"

"Stasi's coming over later."

"Oh Annie. Chris, I know Annie as if she was my own daughter. She is my own daughter! Annie of all people will understand." My mom said. "You're both exhausted from all those late nights working on whatever Principal Finch is having you work on. I should come up to the school and have a word for her to tell her to leave my baby boy and girl alone."

"Mooooom," I groaned.

"Suuuusssaaan," My dad mimed, pantomiming taking a nap on the table.

"Enough of that, Robert or you're on the couch tonight," My mom said sharply.

"Sorry dear," My dad said.

"It's alright, honey. Chris, sweetie, if you're more sleepy than hungry, go up to bed. I'll explain everything to Annie. I'll have her bring up something to eat if you're hungry."

I mumbled something unintelligible, maybe an I love you or a thank you, but my mom and dad waved it off, shooing me upstairs. I trudged back up to my room and dove on my bed, not even bothering to cover myself with the thick blanket. I was still feeling the after-effects of sleepiness from my nap and at this point, I wanted nothing more than to sleep the entire weekend away but something was keeping me awake, a safety line that kept me tethered to the Land of the Living.

My vampire. I wanted to see her more than to fall asleep.

We really should've been taking it easy... but then we'd be the only ones doing that. Everyone at school was exhausted and running on fumes. Not only were finals coming up on us, but with the school board bearing down on the school with a magnifying glass, no one was able to rest and relax.

I pressed the 'home' button on my phone, turning on the screen.

"Oh shit!" I cried.

The brightness of the screen nearly seared my retinas off. I just managed to see the time before I was completely blinded. It's been twelve minutes. Stasi was going to be here. She was going to be here any minute.

"Are you alright, honey?" My mom called up the stairs.

"I'm fine, mom!" I yelled back, blinking out the spots.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, mom!" I shouted, wiping furiously at my eyes and wondering if the imprint in my vision of Stasi's smiling face in front the Golden Gate Bridge was to be going permanent or not (which, depending on how I was feeling, was a good and bad thing). "I'm fine! Totally and completely fine."

Because who needs eyes, right?

"Alright honey, give me a shout if you need anything!"

"Thanks mom," I muttered. Preparing my eyes, I pressed the 'home' button once again. Thirteen minutes. Any minute now. She was going to be here any minute now. Anticipation boiled in my stomach, threatening to spill over. I rolled off of my stomach and onto my back, staring at the ceiling. Any minute now, any minute no-..

The doorbell rang and I nearly jumped for joy. If I wasn't in bed, I could've done a backflip with my lanky and skinny frame... probably.

I was probably the most unathletic athletic person you'd ever meet.

I heard noises down in the kitchen and my mom opening the door, greeting Stasi ("Hello Annie!"), inviting her inside ("Come on in, Annie! It's freezing outside."), offering her some food ("Would you like something to eat? We have clam chowder, Annie!"), insisting on food ("Come on, I promise it's good, Annie!"), before conceding and letting her come upstairs ("Alright Annie, but please take this upstairs for Chris!").

I heard her footsteps come up the stairs, then the creaking floorboards right outside of my room. I turned my head, looking at the door. My breath hitched when I saw her staring at me happily with that wide fangy smile.

"Hi Chris," She greeted softly.

"Hey Stasi," I replied, equally as quiet.

She padded into my room, gracefully setting down a plate of clam chowder on my nightstand. I remember a time when my mom wouldn't let Stasi carry anything that required balance because she was always so clumsy.

Oh, how far we've come.

She sat on the edge of my bed, looking down at me with those big crystal blue eyes of hers.

"Chris, I-.." She began.

"Stas-.." I started.

We both stopped, looked at each other strangely, then burst into laughter. "Alright, I went first earlier. It's your turn now. You go first... and no buts!" I said the last part sharply. Stasi pulled an adorable face.