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The Rat Pack

I was lightly dozing in the warmth of the glassed-in patio at the Shady Rest nursing home when I felt the light touch of my favorite female attendant and smelled her exotic perfume. My eyes and ears don't work as well used to, but my nose is still pretty good for an octogenarian. She knows me well so in a rather loud voice she said "Panty, your grandson is here for a visit."

OK, short pause to explain why a 19 year-old, cute little female is addressing me as "Panty." I'm a former Navy fighter pilot, Korean War vintage. All Navy pilots have a radio moniker to prevent actual names to be heard on the air, possibly by the enemy. Since my last name is Shields, it was inevitable my personal call sign would be Panty. I first took up residence in this rather comfortable place to die shortly after my wife, Gail, died of cancer about two years ago. They keep the air-conditioning too cold for me, so I wear my leather flight jacket with the name tag in place. The staff thinks it is hilarious, and truth be known, I kinda like it. It served a purpose as a conversation starter and allows me to keep a little bit of my former identity.

My grandson, Brian, visits me frequently and knows his way around the home. Today he thoughtfully brought me a hot cup of coffee. I always enjoyed Brian's visits, but I often wondered why his wife rarely came with him. I understand that my two grandkids didn't have much interest in visiting me. Our relationship was much better when I was younger, so were they. As teenagers, there are too many things they would rather do than sit and talk to a really, really old man.

Brian pulled up a chair and sat down. He looked like hell, eyes red, uncombed hair, he must have slept in the clothes he was wearing, more than two nights.

"Jesus Christ Brian, what the hell happened to you? You look like the dogs drug you in here."

"Gramps, I really need somebody to talk to. I don't know anybody else who has the wisdom and experience that I would trust to steer me right."

"Well, Bub, you're putting a lot of pressure on me here. Why don't you go get yourself a cup of the same coffee I have and tell me what's on your mind. Start at the beginning and don't leave anything out.

Brian took my cup to top off and went back in to get his coffee. I was very curious to learn what troubles would put my favorite grandson in such a state. It was either money or sex I'll bet. I was hoping for money because I know how much Brian loved his bride of almost three years. Grace was a smart, beautiful woman who was as much in love with Brian as he was with her. I thought back briefly to the day he married Grace. Gail was too sick to attend, but I did and described the ceremony to her as best I could, not knowing too much about the fashions the attendees wore. I had a strong flash of sadness when I realized the wedding was just a few weeks before Gail lost her struggle against the cancer that was eating away at her. She was only 72 when she died.

"Thanks for the warmup Brian. What is this problem you think I can help you with?"

"Grace cheated on me Gramps. She fucked another man." He slumped in the chair and covered his face with his hands. I wanted to pick him up, put him on my lap like I had done countless times when skinned he his knee, or some other childhood calamity that needed a grownup to fix.

"Alright, start at the beginning. When did this happen, I need some details."

Brian sort of shook himself and straightened up in his chair, "I guess I first suspected there was something wrong about six weeks ago. Grace's demeanor changed. She was normally a happy person with a bubbly, effervescent personality. Overnight she became moody and seemed to want to avoid being around me. Several times I've tried talking to her. I asked her what was wrong. She just got mad and yelled at me. She is just getting hard to live with."

"Finally, about four days ago, I had enough. Yeah, last Friday I came home from work and told her we were going out to dinner, have some drinks and come home and make wild monkey sex. She shut me down and grabbed her purse and left the house. I opened a beer and tried to watch TV. I was at my wits end. What was wrong, what happened to my perfect wife?

The phone rang and I ran to it thinking it was Grace. It was Vicky, Grace's best friend. In a low voice like a whisper she asked me to come to her house and get Grace. She said "Brian, you know Grace loves you more than any other man on earth. She really needs your understanding right now. I've convinced her that she must come clean with you, that the only way she can get past this is explain everything and if you really loved her she would get your forgiveness."

"Gramps, you don't have any idea what was going on in my head. What was so important to change my wife completely that I have to forgive her.?"

I had a fairly good idea, but it was too early for my input to Brian's narrative.

Brian was determined to give me the whole story as he continued, "When I got to Vicky's house they were waiting for me on the front porch. Vicky had her arm around my wife's shoulders in a protective way. I parked in the driveway and the women walked toward the car. I opened the passenger door and barely heard Vicky whisper "You've got to tell him everything and trust in his love."

When we got in the car, Grace said she didn't want to go home. That surprised me and ticked me off a bit. "Where the Hell do you want to go!"

She shrunk as far away from me as she could get and I saw a tear slide down her cheek.

"Aw honey, I'm really sorry, I'm just really on edge. I don't know what is going on, but I have a nasty feeling I'm not going to like what you are going to tell me."

"It's OK, It's all my fault, you've done nothing wrong" she murmured. " Let's go to the park. I think I will do better if we are outside."

We found an empty picnic bench in a leafy alcove that would give us the needed privacy.

It was evident that Grace was trying to control herself and gather the courage to tell me what may change our lives forever. The five minutes we sat there in silence seemed much longer.

"I didn't plan what happened. I would give anything if I had just stayed at home, but it did happen and now I'm going to tell you the full truth and beg you to understand and forgive me. You know my good friend Chloe who got married a few weeks ago?"

I nodded in the affirmative, not knowing what to say.

"Well, Vicky and I were invited to her bachelorette party. It was a lot more risqué than the few others I've attended. I swear that what happened was not what I wanted to happen. I was drinking a lot more than I'm used to. Everything got fuzzy and I can't really tell you exactly what happened but when I came out of the fog Vicky told me I was on the stage sucking the dick of the biggest and blackest dancer."

That hit me like a sledge hammer. My Grace on her knees sucking a dick in front of an audience!! NO. I had nothing to say, I just looked at her. This was a hell of a lot to forgive.

"Brian, Vicky told me latter that somehow my drink was doctored and I must have been given a roofie, a drug that lowers inhibitions. There are a number of "date rape" drugs that I could have ingested. I googled "date rape drugs" and found that it is real. The drug Rohypnol produces the same effects that I suffered.

I shouted "Grace, why didn't you come to me and tell me all this. You did nothing wrong except show poor judgement in not leaving when things got out of hand."

Now she really started sobbing and crying uncontrollably. "I know, I know, but I have to tell you everything, even though it will end our marriage."

"Grace, I know you must tell me everything so get on with it."

She took a long time but finally calmed down so she could talk coherently.

"Brian, what I am going to tell you now is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

You must believe me that I love you more than life itself. A few days after the party, I received a large envelope in the mail. I've destroyed it because you can never see the photographs that were in the envelope. It was from one of the dancers and their was a note with the photographs. The sender said that if I didn't come to a certain motel room at a specific time you would get copies of the photos. I'm not going to draw this out . I did go to the motel and did things that I cannot describe ever. It was over in about two hours and I went home. I have to tell you all of this because Vicky has convinced me I must or I will never get free of these monsters. They have made more demands that I will not do. Help me Brian, I am so sorry.

"Gramps, I'm not proud of it now, but at the time I was so shocked and angry that I just took Grace home and left to come here without saying a word to her"

During the entirety of Brian's narrative I just listened with as much of a poker face as I could manage. He has laid a big one on me. I sat in silence contemplating exactly what to say to this young man. It was a large responsibility and I realized what I say to him this sunny afternoon may shape his and Grace's life forever.

"Brian, go get us some more coffee while I gather my thoughts and think about what I am going to tell you. I cannot tell you what to do with your, and Grace's life, but I can tell you what I did in a similar situation"

Gramps! Are you going to tell me Granmaw cheated on you?

"Hey, get the coffee, and listen carefully."

With Brian's rapt attention I started my story.

"It's no news that I was a fighter pilot in Korea, but you may not know that when I came home in 1953 I met your grandmother and after a very short courtship we were married. Your father came along in our third year and your aunt Sharon two years later. Your grandmother was so very beautiful. I know your memories of Granmaw is of a little chubby grey headed old woman but when she was 29, in our ninth year of marriage she was a gorgeous, desirable woman. I can tell you I got in more than one fight over some drunk who got too familiar with Gail. She never encouraged men or even flirted, but she couldn't help how she looked."

"Life was good for nine years until it blew up in my face. Gail had a very close friend named Tamara Stone. The two had known each other even before I had met Gail. Tammi was not a bad person; she just wasn't cut out to be a faithful wife. She was divorced twice before our tenth anniversary. I tried to get Gail to find another BFF, but she would just tell me that it wasn't Tammi's fault that she wasn't married to someone so awesome as me, and if she ever found a Jack Shields clone, she would stay happily married. Well, I couldn't argue with that logic so I just shut up.

"I can remember like yesterday when I came home a little early on a Friday. Gail exploded into my arms. She said 'Darling, I have the most wonderful news. Tammi has an extra tickets to the Frank Sinatra show at the Sands in Las Vegas. I told her we couldn't such an expensive trip and 'guess what baby?' She said it was an all-expense paid deal. Even the airline tickets - first class - were included."

What could I say, but "Great! I guess you are going?

She got that 'little girl' look and said "I hope you will let me go, but if you don't want me to. I won't." The funny part is that if I said I didn't want her to go, she wouldn't.

However, I knew that since high school Gail, like half the female population in 1962 had a crush on 'Old Blue Eyes", so I said "When do you leave and do you want me to drive you to the airport?"

She jumped up and down and screamed. "I've got the best husband in all the world! Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I found out the two would leave in one week and stay for four days in the Sands hotel. I did drive them to the airport. As I hugged her goodbye, I slipped her an envelope with five hundred dollar bills. I said "if you win you can split it with me."

I got an excited phone call when they checked into the Sands to tell me how lavish their room was. The second call came on the evening of the second day. She and Tammi were having a great time playing the nickel slot machines. Funny though, I didn't get any more phone calls until the fourth day, just before they boarded the flight home. The last call was very subdued, with nothing about the Frank Sinatra show. Not at all what I expected if they had an enjoyable experience.

I knew what happened, Gail most likely lost the five hundred and thought I would be upset. She was being silly because I knew that she would gamble it away and did not expect her to win.

Gail and Tammi's flight arrived at eleven pm so I wasn't too surprised or disappointed when Gail went straight to bed when we got home. I would have liked to hear what adventures she had in Las Vegas. I hoped that Gail wouldn't tell me "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Gail stayed in bed until past noon. Jet lag I supposed. By the third day of her state of depression, I really considered taking her to the doctor. We went bed at 10 on the fourth day of of her return. She woke me up after mid-night crying and, although I could barely hear her, she said "I can't go on like this. You don't deserve to have an unfaithful slut for a wife. I'll give you a divorce and get out of your life."

"OK Gail, now is the time for you to tell me exactly what did happen in Vegas. Tell me everything."

Without going into the lurid details, Gail told me that on the second night Frank Sinatra and the rest of the Rat Pack noticed them both sitting on the first row. Joey Bishop on behalf of all the guys, invited them up to the penthouse with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, and Sammy Davis Jr. She said with hesitation, "Jack, we spent the rest of our time in Vegas never leaving the Penthouse. Oh, I still have the five hundred you gave me. I'll get it now."

"Forget the $500. Gail, do you still love me?"

"Oh yes my darling Jack. More than ever."

"Gail, as far as I'm concerned, your trip to Vegas never happened. We will never mention it again. I only ask one thing. You cannot stay friends with Tamara. Call her tomorrow and tell her you cannot be her friend anymore. This is non-negotiable."

"Brian, today was the first time I've ever mentioned that Las Vegas trip so long ago.

My beautiful, faithful wife died of cancer two years ago. Every day of our life together I thank God I didn't go crazy over what she did in Vegas.

My advice, that you asked me for, is immediately go to your wife and really talk to her. If what you've told me is the truth, it looks like she was drugged, raped, and then blackmailed into a situation that she believed was necessary to keep your marriage together. She desperately needs you now. Go to her, tell her you love her unconditionally and get on with your life.

When my grandson left, I hoped I would live long enough to see if my advice was followed.

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