A Good Girl's Fantasy

I have always been afraid of my dark side. I have always denied it even to myself, because good girls aren't supposed to want THAT kind of sex. And good girls who use a wheelchair damn sure aren't supposed to want any kind of sex, let alone THAT kind of sex. It's harsh and rough. Edgy. Maybe a little bit painful. But fascinating. And so damn hot.

So for all of my adult life and all of my everlastingly vanilla sex life, I denied it. And patted myself on the back for being a good girl. And wondered why, if this was supposed to be what good girls wanted, why was I so dissatisfied? Sadly, our society being what it is, we who don't look like supermodels, or those of us with disabilities can sometimes become sexual "wallflowers", thankful for whatever sexual attention is cast our way. Over the last few months, I have come to the conclusion that what I really want is okay. We are all sexual beings and it's okay to want what you want. Good girls sometimes want to lose themselves temporarily in the rough stuff.

The truth is, just once before I die, I want a man to look at me and lose control. I want a man to say to me, "Baby, I want to fuck you so bad, I don't think I can be gentle. All I can think about is burying myself in your pussy and giving you what you really want. What you need." How I yearn for that!

Then I want you to do it. No finesse, no thought to whether it will hurt me. You can kill me with gentleness afterwards. Right now, I want you to rip my clothes off and consume me. I want you to mark my neck because you can't keep from biting me, from marking me as yours. I want to feel the sting of your teeth. You want to tie my hands? That will make me feel twinges of fear, uncertainty about what is to come. But isn't that part of the excitement? Go ahead and tie them. But… you won't hurt me, will you? …"Only until it feels good, baby. Only until it feels good."

I can feel your hands in my hair pulling tighter and tighter. Just this side of pain. Enough to make it clear that I won't be able to get free unless you allow it. God, give me your tongue. Search out the recesses of my mouth. Kiss me so hard I can feel the sharp edges of your teeth. Oh, my God. I can feel reality start to fall away.

You seem enthralled by the size and softness of my breasts. Your hands stroke and caress my skin, teasing me by avoiding my nipples. I've always been self-conscious about the size of my breasts, but you make me feel beautiful. Your touches are growing more insistent, and as you lower your lips and begin to suckle, I groan with pleasure. Oh God… Bite them. Please. Bite them! Yes, oh yes. I never knew pain could be so delicious!

As you move down my belly, I can feel you breathe, taking deep pulls of my scent into your lungs. I want to share everything with you. I want you to take what you need. Your hands slide nearer to my pussy, and I tense. You can't possibly know how badly I want to feel your mouth. Yes, now! But no, you have other ideas. You pull my thighs apart. Mindful of my limitations, you hold them wide, and then I feel it. No preliminaries. Your tongue directly on my clit, stroking, licking, suckling it like a tit. You growl out your pleasure and I hear mindless words of lust and need. But whose voice is it? Yours or mine?

I can feel every muscle tensing as you continue working your magic. The heat is intense, every bit of me is on fire. Finally centering in on my clit. God, I have never in my life wanted to cum as badly as I do now. Please. Oh please, now… "Hold on, baby, not yet," I hear you whisper. "I want you to scream for me…" Suddenly I shatter, as I feel my pussy being filled by two fingers and your tongue hard on my clit. I scream out my orgasm, not caring if the whole world hears what you're doing to me. Ohhh…Oh God!

Before I can recover, I feel you climb up my body, poised at the entrance of my pussy. Drenched now with my juices, I know that all you have to do is thrust forward. My hips move frantically, trying to draw you in. I whimper in frustration. Please. Untie my hands! I need to hold on, I need to stay anchored...

The cords fall away, and I immediately reach out for you, my nails digging into the skin of your muscular shoulders. Now, dammit! I want you to fill me. I want your hard cock in my cunt now! Mama knows what you want, baby. What you need. I want every drop of your cum. I want to feel it jet into me. Then I want to feel it trickle out, so I know. So I KNOW what I can make you feel.

"Is this what you want, baby? My cock is so hard, so ready to fill you. Now? Tell me what you want..." God, yes, now! I am practically screaming in frustration, real violence welling up inside me. Suddenly the edges of fear sneak in, but I push them away. NO! This is what I want!

Then my whole world telescopes down to one cock and one pussy as you thrust into me. No gradual gentle penetration, but hard. Fast. I feel nearly split in two by the size of your erection. You pull my legs to rest over your shoulders so you control the movement, the depth, the speed. I love it. I love it so deep! Yes, baby, move faster, harder. I want all you can give me. Feel my pussy. Is it wet? I'm so hot, burning up for you…

It lasts seconds, minutes, hours. Time becomes meaningless as your thrusts become faster, and harder. Raw, animal fucking, the only thought is reaching climax. Giving me your seed. I hear your muttered litany of lust. The words are garbled, but I recognize their meaning. Yes, baby, yes. Take what you need. Give me all of it. Cum for me, now! Fill me! Every muscle in your body tenses as you near your peak, your face a grim mask of passion. You are lost in the sensations my body is giving you.

One thrust. Two. Then a low moan announces the beginning of your climax. At the crescendo you cry out, the only reality in your world the intense, almost painful pleasure of your orgasm. I can feel your semen filling me in endless pulsing jets.

All I can hear is the sound of our labored breathing. Our bodies are so close I can feel the tandem slowing of our heartbeats. I feel you smile against my neck, and I answer in kind. I close my eyes. I don't want reality to intrude. Not yet. Your muscles tense as you begin to move away. I automatically try to gather you closer. "No, baby, let me up. I'll be right back." I hear faint sounds coming from the bathroom, as I begin to doze.

The next thing I feel is your hands, gentle on my thighs as you move them apart. Your touch is comforting as you begin to use a warm washcloth on my pussy, soothing the swollen tissues. I think hazily that I should be embarrassed by what you are doing, but your gentleness and caring are so sweet. I crave this.

There is silence as you dress. I am almost asleep when I feel you stroke my hair and whisper in my ear, "I'm so proud of you, baby. And I expect you to be right here when I get back." The door opens and closes quietly.

I know that physically, there is a price that I'll have to pay. So be it. Mentally, I am so fulfilled, so complete. I feel like a desirable woman.

I am a good girl. And sometimes good girls like it rough.