A Year of Firsts Ch. 05

Anna and I didn't immediately begin discussing our new sexual discoveries after our original conversation although when anyone mentioned that they had a study lesson in the library we always glanced at each other and smiled. Over the next week or so, 'study' became a euphemism for masturbation. That was a good thing since both of us would have found actually using the word 'masturbation' far too confronting. We might have done it but we didn't want to have to say it.

Our shared secrets also brought Anna and I closer together. We had always been best friends but now the relationship was different in a way that was hard to put my finger on. I think we both realised that we would get through the whole sex thing together, we had someone to share our problems and pleasures with.

On a Thursday about five weeks into the school year, Anna asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her that night. She had to get a dress to wear to a cousin's wedding.

"That is unless you have to stay home and study," she said. We had the first exams of the year approaching plus some assignments due.

"Do you mean study or 'study' study?" I asked.

"Well, either. But I know which one I'd prefer to do," she said smiling.

"I'll come around to your place about six then," I decided. "I can always study later."

"Do you mean study or 'study' study?"

"Shut up Anna," I said laughing. "I'll have to think of something to wear." I didn't own a lot of clothes like some girls but the few times I went out I always took a long time deciding exactly what to wear.

At home I took all my summer clothes out of the closet and tried to make a decision. Eventually I decided on a red sleeveless top with a V neck. I always felt that my breasts seemed a little bigger in it. I also chose a knee length denim skirt and my best white bra and panty set with the lace trim. When I got dressed and put on some red lipstick I felt quite sexy. I usually felt quite awkward when I went out and I knew I wasn't the most stunning girl in the world but I was beginning to like my body and appreciate its strengths. Besides my breasts, I had quite long and slim legs, and a flat stomach. I was a good long distance runner and quite fit so I guess I was also well toned. My mother always said that I should wear my hair up because I had a long elegant neck, like Audrey Hepburn she said. This particular night I decided to wear my hair in a bunch on top of my head. My mother was right, I did have a quite long neck.

My mother dropped me off at Anna's house just after six. She lived quite close to the mall, about a ten minute walk. We planned to walk there while it was still light and then call Anna's dad to pick us up later. I was never a mall person like some girls who almost seemed to live there. I liked shopping but I certainly wasn't one of those outgoing girls who met regularly at the mall. Anna and I talked to several girls we knew and then set out to find Anna's dress for the wedding. She didn't intend to buy it tonight. She would come back on the weekend with her mother. We had fun for an hour and a half going from shop to shop. Anna tried on a dozen dresses and together we critiqued each one. I kind of envied her having a special occasion to look forward to. She looked great in a lot of them but we eventually decided on a black dress that I couldn't help thinking would suit me as well.

Afterwards we got some junk food for dinner and found a table among the crowds of people. The mall was always busy on Thursday nights.

"Hey, guess what?" Anna said. "Lisa told me that in a couple of weeks there is a dance with St Pat's. We should go." St Patrick's was the boys' school that was associated with our school. It was actually only a few hundred metres away although the teachers did their best to keep us apart.

"Do you really want to?" I asked. Anna and I and another couple of our friends had never been to a dance before. In Grade 8 and 9 we weren't at all interested and in Grade 10 and 11 we had considered it but we were really a little intimidated by the cool girls who would have boyfriends there while we wouldn't know anyone. We decided that it would be too humiliating to spend a night at a dance and not be asked to dance at all. We were also, to be honest, simply too shy. Now, in Grade 12, we were beginning to feel more confident and a lot of the other girls, like Lisa were becoming much more friendly as they grew out of our bitchy phase that teenage girls go through.

"Lisa said there will be lots of cute guys there." Anna and I discussing cute guys - things had definitely changed. "She said we might even get asked to their formal." A formal was like an American-style prom and the St Pat's one was early compared to most, in May. Ours was in October. Anna and I weren't even sure we would go to our own, let alone expect an invitation to the St Pat's one.

"Let's go," I decided. I was excited about the prospect of meeting some real live boys if only I thought to myself, to work into my night-time fantasies. But the new more confident me also hoped that maybe some boy might find me attractive and then, who knew where it might lead. Having a boyfriend seemed a very distant prospect but a tantalising one nevertheless. My mind was lost amidst images of snuggling next to a boyfriend at a movie, on his arm at a formal, at the beach together and I was just getting to the sex parts when Anna nudged me.

"Don't look but there's a guy down there looking at us," she said quietly.

"Where?" I asked, looking anyway. The mall's eating area was built on two levels, the main one and a second level, sunken by a couple of feet. In the sunken area was a man sitting alone, glancing up at us every now and again then looking away quickly. He was probably in his early twenties and quite good looking.

"Why is he looking at us?" I asked Anna quietly. The whole eating area was crowded and there were plenty of other girls around.

"I don't know but I just realised that he can probably see straight up our skirts," Anna said urgently. Instinctively I clamped my legs together a little tighter and pushed my skirt between them. I looked up and saw the guy lowering his eyes back to his meal, smirking.

"Do you think he was looking up our skirts?" Anna said.

"Yes. What a creep." Secretly though I felt kind of excited that he was looking. I felt a little embarrassed that I hadn't been aware that a man was able to see my underwear and I didn't even realise it. But it was also pleasant to know that a fairly handsome grown man was trying to peek at my undies.

"I dare you to cross your legs while he's watching," Anna said with a mischievous grin on her face.

"No way. I'm not doing it." However I allowed the idea to wash around in my head for several minutes. "You do it. I'll do it if you do it first."

"No, you first," Anna insisted. Part of the thrill came from simply contemplating such a thing. I had been taught for years to always sit like a lady and make sure I wasn't flashing my knickers and now here I was seriously considering doing it on purpose.

"OK," I decided. I was already mentally creating a new fantasy around this moment. "How will I do it?"

"Don't look at him," Anna instructed. "I'll kind of watch him and see what he does. Just cross your legs and give him a thrill."

I took a breath to prepare myself. Looking back the moment seems a little trivial and childish but back then it was amazingly exciting and very sexy. I looked down at my french-fries and crossed my legs. I waited for a report from Anna.

"He looked up," she said. "But do it slowly. And there's two other guys checking us out too."

"Where?" I said, looking around.

"Don't be so obvious," Anna scolded. She was clearly enjoying this little game, probably more than me. "See the two guys two tables over from him. They both looked up when you crossed your legs."

The two guys were younger than the first, maybe in their late teens, I guessed. Neither was especially good looking but I didn't care. Having male attention of any sort was a thrill.

"OK. Now do it slowly," Anna said.

I looked down again and hitched my skirt up a couple of inches. I felt positively wicked. Who knew that teasing men could be so much fun. Slowly I uncrossed my legs, leaving them side by side and very slightly apart. Then very deliberately, and as slowly as I dared, I re-crossed them. My heart was racing.

Anna turned to me, her face alight. "My god, they were absolutely watching you. I swear that guy's eyes just lit up. Do it again."

"No, your turn," I insisted. I wanted to watch their reactions myself. I could feel myself getting wet and tingly. Imagine shy little Melanie and Anna, flashing their underwear at guys in the mall. I wondered if other girls at school had done this.

"OK, ready," Anna said. She went through the routine as slowly as she could. I watched the guys out of the corner of my eye. The two younger ones nudged each other in the ribs and looked quite openly. The older guy was a bit more subtle. Each time I looked at him I realised that he was very good looking.

I reported the details back to Anna who continued to be delighted. It was my turn again and I casually crossed my legs, allowing them to come apart just a little more this time. The thrill hadn't diminished at all. I could sense the good looking guy's hungry eyes drinking me in. I wondered suddenly if this little show was making him hard. God, am I making a man's penis go hard! It was an intoxicating thought. For the first time in my life I had a sense of the power that a woman can have over a man. I was in love with the thought of a man wanting me, wanting to see my body, imagining me naked, fantasising making love to me.

Anna and I each did it several more times with the guys never missing a thing. It was almost instinctive that they knew exactly when to look our way. I wondered if they knew we were putting on a show for them but it probably didn't matter much. My undies were beginning to become rather damp to the extent that I feared embarrassing myself by having a wet skirt. I suggested to Anna that we should think about going.

On the way home we were both fairly quiet. I was completely absorbed by my new-found power over men and the excitement it gave me. I had felt in control and I was starting to understand why a woman might even want to be a stripper in front of men. They would be in the palm of her hand.

As Anna's dad dropped me off, she turned to me from the front seat. "That was a fun night's shopping Mel."

"Sure was," I agreed. I thanked her dad and got out of the car and headed down our driveway.

Anna called after me, "Don't study too hard, Mel." I laughed and waved as they drove away. I knew exactly what I would be doing tonight. My imagination had already planned the beginning of my new fantasy. It would involve a beautiful, expensive restaurant, me in a sexy black dress and a guy in his early twenties looking up my dress at my lace underwear. And I knew my fingers would be busy, as I imagined how much this man wanted me and needed me until finally he would take me home and make long, tender love. Then he would drive me wild with desire, teasing me and teasing me, taking me so close to climax time and again. And then when I could stand the pleasure no more he would make me orgasm so powerfully I would feel faint. And I would lay in his arms completely spent and completely satisfied and a complete woman.