Onyx Dreams Ch. 12

Cyrus muttered to himself and brought the barriers down around his mind, hard. Deep within the darkness, a whisper could be heard. It was a voice he had not heard for sometime. It was the metaphorical demon on his shoulder, and it was grinning vindictively.

~They don't understand your past even when you show them.~ The voice was like liquid silk laced with the venom of a lifetime of rejection and being controlled. ~They don't listen to your needs when you voice them...~ The voice continued to whisper in his mind, stoking the flames of rebellion inside Cyrus, beginning to rouse his rage.

~They are trying to control you again, soon they'll start injecting you with the suppressants...we don't want that...do we?~ The voice was beginning to make sense to Cyrus, this was how it had begun at the monastery. He wasn't going to let that happen again! He would rather die! ~We should kill them...~ the calm, icy cool voice of the stone cold killer instinct driven demon echoed through his barricaded mind.

Cyrus tensed and gasped softly; suddenly slamming down every barrier he could, fearing someone might hear it. No, he couldn't do that, wouldn't do that. He wasn't a killer.

~That's not what you were thinking when you shot Rhys now was it?~

Cyrus tensed once more, the demon might only be a figment of his imagination...but it was right. He HAD been willing to kill on that cold February morning and almost managed it. But he wasn't like that now.

{{Cyrus?}} Brenna's voice was calling though it sounded far away and muffled.

Cyrus was still tense. The voice on his shoulder was snickering now, sending chills down his spine. Roughly he stamped down upon the voice trying to ignore it.

Softly he spoke, not daring to open his mind till he was sure the voice was gone. "Yes Brenna?"

{{You cried out. Are you alright?}} Worry colored her mental tone. She had felt something evil heading toward her rider so she had left the cave and flown to the house. She was only a few feet from his window. The evil was gone but the stench of it still clung to his room and his mind.

Cyrus rubbed his arms and shivered, still hearing the echoing laughter of the voice. It was beginning to annoy him now. Suddenly in a bout of flaring rage, he brought the proverbial hammer down upon the voice in his head, silencing it for now. He waited a moment, making sure it was gone before very gently opening his mind up again. ~I'm fine Brenna, just...some bad memories that I'd like to forget.~

Brenna snorted. She didn't believe him not for one moment. {{Get some rest. We must be up at the first rays of light. Father and Henry wish to speak with us.}} She reminded him.

Cyrus couldn't help the glare that encompassed his whole face. The voice had used up almost all of his patience. ~Why in the hell can't I sleep in for once? For the last five years I've yet to know the joy of sleeping past noon!~

Brenna gave a loud angry bulge. {{You will do what they ask Cyrus and stop complaining!}}

Cyrus' temper snapped as he leapt up from bed, his mind bristling with thorns accumulated from the previous day. ~And what the fuck else should I be doing huh? Be grateful that this supposed 'Great Master' is telling me to become an emotionless hermit with no love from anyone? I've yet to see these people that they are great masters. For me Brenna I don't give a shit whether someone has saved the world or defeated armies on their own. Everyone has to EARN my respect. No one has ever gotten a freebie and I sure as HELL ain't starting now.~ Cyrus was panting now both with frustration and hurt. ~Imagine them saying you can't have what makes you complete just because she's...to be honest I haven't been given a damned reason why, just some BULLSHIT excuse that it's against the law.~

Cyrus wiped a tear that fell from his eye and turned away from Brenna. ~I'm this close to just saying fuck it Brenna, really I am, it's tearing me apart inside and I don't think I wanna see what'll become of me if I submit again to rules that don't make sense to me...~

The silence from Brenna was poignant and then a rustling noise, followed by the sound of her launching herself into the air was heard. The link from her end had gone silent.

Cyrus stumbled back against the corner of his room and slowly slid down the wall, pulling his knees up. Quietly, the tears began to roll down his face and his anguish, worry and fear flowed out from him like a beacon in the dark void his life had turned into. This time, he didn't even try to silence the voices around him. They were right, yet this only brought him more sorrow because he wanted them to be wrong with all his being.

Outside his door, Henry stood frowning. He had heard the exchange and was clearly upset. No rider talked to their mount that way. There was something wrong here yet he couldn't seem to locate the problem. If he didn't, Brenna would die of a broken heart and Cyrus would tear the world apart in his rage. Sighing, Henry knocked on the door.

Cyrus ignored the knock, letting the darkness of misery mount in his mind, wishing the ground would simply well up and swallow him. His life was in ruins. He'd failed his father, his mentors and now he'd hurt Brenna, his only true friend in the world. To top it all off, his worry over Kennice was surfacing again. The tears kept flowing from his eyes and the darkness kept mounting in his mind.

Henry felt the darkness and opened the door. "If you give in to the darkness, you will lose the girl as well as Brenna. Things can be salvaged but not like this," he said firmly.

Cyrus felt his eyes narrow and he glared at Henry, an edge of agelessness heard on his voice, the whispers from the demon on his shoulder, leaking into his tone. "And what would you know about my life? I have shown you my reasons for being the way I am yet you still seek to torture me like Rhys. Trying to break my spirit by ripping out my heart...For someone who has lost his love, you don't seem to know a damn thing about what the consequences are on one's mind."

"Ah the young. Always so angry. Always in a rush for things now. You listen to me, young man, and you listen well. I almost lost my wife because I behaved as you once did. Of course, my wife wasn't a future high priestess but the point is, if you stay angry, if you believe everyone is out to get you, then you will lose it all, and I do mean it all. And then you will truly be alone. I'm not here to torture you. I am only a teacher. I won't douse you with cold water or beat you. I will only talk and listen. That's all," Henry patted Cyrus' shoulder and then turned for the door.

Cyrus stayed silent for a long moment, wiping his tears from his face. He looked up slowly, his frustration no longer aimed at Henry but at himself, like it had been many times before when he was alone, in the dark. "I...I didn't mean to...do that to Brenna it just...Came out I couldn't stop it, I..." His words faltered as another familiar emotion hit him. It was shame. This in turn fired his frustration at not being able to control his emotions.

"She is hurt, true, but so would anyone who only wants the best for a person and keeps seeing them get hurt. It is the same with you and Kennice. You see yourself as her knight in shining armor. But your armor keeps taking a beating every time she refuses to come with you. She is, in her own way, trying to help you see but you are not seeing. So too is Brenna, trying to help you see and focus but the help you keep refusing. You must make a decision Cyrus. Learn the control you need to be there for both of the loves in your life, or keep up the loss of self-control and destroy both Kennice and Brenna."

Cyrus leaned his head back till it touched the wall and sighed once more. "Why is it that bringing Rhys and Erykia to the police is against your laws? If I really wanted to I could simply call Scotland Yard and report a domestic violence case. Rhys would wind up in a frelling lab and so would Erykia..."

"Yes, you could but do you really want to create that big of a stir? Have you ever stopped to think that Erykia is baiting you on purpose? That she does the things she does to make you lose it? She wants you to go crazy and do horrible things. Then she can hold it up to Kennice and use it to make Kennice hate you."

Cyrus was silent for a long moment once more. "Well she's doing a damn fine job of pushing my buttons...but is doing a terrible job of making me look bad, especially by abusing Kennice."

"That is an error on her part. I've been trying to tell her but Erykia was always headstrong, even as a young trainee. She will not listen to reason any more than you or Rhys listen to reason. All of you behave oddly when it comes to Kennice and I can't explain it." Henry rubbed at his beard thoughtfully. "It is something that will be checked out at a later date. Now, I will let you rest for three hours but this will be the only time. You need your strength," he said as he opened the door.

Cyrus paused yet again, a frown deepening on his face. "You trained Erykia? Yet you stand by as she literally tortures an innocent young woman."

"I was the one chosen to teach her about the dragons. I did not have a hand in her druidic duties. I didn't sense such perverse pleasure in pain when I taught her so she had to have acquired it later after her training. I regret now that we agreed with the druids on her for the choice of high priestess. It was a mistake and one we will continue to pay for until Kennice takes the office."

Cyrus sighed once more and put his head back on his knees, his words failing him now, he wished he could be with Kennice right now. He always felt good with her in his arms.

"I would suggest that you take the time to apologize to Brenna and then spend a lot of time with her. You owe her that much because she did try to cover for you," Henry added and then left the room.

Cyrus nodded to himself and spoke quietly in his mind. ~Brenna?~

She didn't respond but there was a "listening" feel to the link.

~I...I'm sorry for screaming at you Brenna, you didn't deserve that.~

{{I forgive you}} Brenna replied calmly. {{Father says humans always say mean things and that it comes with being around them. He also said I need to toughen up.}}

~No, really Brenna I was out of line, I was frustrated and angry at everything and you were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.~

{{I only want to love you and have you be happy. Even if it takes more than just me to make you happy}}

~But every time I go to see her, I always end up hurting you. I never meant to hurt you.~

{{It is not your fault or hers. You are both frustrated and wanting and you cannot get it satisfied. After you get the satisfaction you will be fine}} Brenna replied, sounding very reasonable and pragmatic about it.

~I doubt we will ever get the satisfaction we desire, perhaps I really should simply let her go?~

Cyrus sighed softly and slowly walked to the window, looking out in to the darkness.

{{Never give up on dreams but just remember that some dreams take time}} Brenna said wisely.

~True but...I've waited more than three years for this dream, but things just keep popping up. I'm doubting the saying, good things come to those who wait...~

Brenna chuckled gently in his mind. {{Do you know how long I had to wait for you?}}

~To be honest no, but I know I had those nightmares as long as I could remember~

{{Did I ever tell you how old I am?}} she casually asked.

Cyrus chuckled softly and wiped his eyes, sitting on the windowsill. ~Father always said its not polite to ask a lady's age.~

{{I am almost a thousand years old. I've been waiting for you since I first cleared a century}}

Cyrus was silent in surprise and puzzlement. ~Ok umm...I've only been alive just over two decades...how exactly could you have been waiting for me for almost 900 years?~

{{Not all dragons are destined for riders, Cyrus. We are born knowing that there is "some person" out there for us. We leave our realm and come to yours to find you. I've come every century since I reached one hundred and scoured the world only to return disappointed. I finally found you in this century on the day you were born and gave your first cry.}}

~I see...so, how did you know I was meant for you? I uhh, don't remember much about my birth other than what my father gave me.~

{{Your mind and my mind touched and formed a bond, though you were too young to understand what it meant. It is how I could send you dreams and keep track of you.}}

Cyrus couldn't help but chuckle at this. ~And you couldn't have given me dreams of bunnies like normal kids? Seeing a shiny black dragon diving at you open mouthed in your dreams can really mess a kid up."

{{I am sorry. I was still learning how to talk to you}} she said contritely.

~It's alright Brenna sweetie, I turned out alright didn't I?~

{{Mostly}} she replied sweetly.

Softly he chuckled once more and stared into the night. ~Come back to me? It's been a while since we've been out together.~

In response he heard the whoosh of air and then Brenna settled down outside his window.

He smiled widely and leaned out of his window to rub her snout. "Is it just me or have your scales gotten shinier lately?"

Brenna preened. {{They are brightening. He will be coming soon}} she said excitedly.

Cyrus' smile widened massively. ~Oh? Is this the famous boyfriend I've been hearing about?~

Brenna preened even more and flexed her wings. {{He is coming to hunt for his rider.}}

~Ohh and will we be following him...?~

Cyrus paused a moment, memories of his nightmare flooding back, another black dragon, staring at Kennice.

{{No, WE will not. I will. You have to go and learn to meditate with Henry}} she said smugly.

~Aw man, but I had to take four hour meditation classes at the monastery...~

{{This meditation will bring you closer to me and strengthen our bond.}}

~Well then shouldn't YOU be there too?~

Cyrus shivered as the memory of the dragon surfaced again.

~Brenna...can you...see that?~

Brenna was oddly silent. {{Yes}}

~Who is it Brenna? Why are they stalking Kennice?~

{{They are not stalking her. They are stalking something else}}

~What Brenna? If they are stalking something else, why are they going for Kennice?~

{{Because she is a catalyst, things have a way of changing around her.}}

~A catalyst? But...if she wasn't after Kennice, who was she after?~

{{I'm not sure but we should be careful.}}

Once more his nightmare flashed through his mind. Bloody claws and rows of razor sharp teeth.

~I think I know whom she was stalking...~

Brenna's eyes focused on him. She sent thoughts of love to him but said nothing.

Cyrus gripped the windowsill and swallowed hard. ~She was stalking me wasn't she Brenna? After me...but why?~

{{Only you know. I can't guess the thoughts of another}} she said sadly.

~But you know who she is, you said you did...who is she?~

{{No, we will not talk of this. I want you calm and happy. Not brooding.}}

~Brenna, please, if I'm being stalked by a killer dragon I NEED to know who she is so I can avoid her.~

{{I will protect you. Don't worry}} Brenna replied confidently.

~Brenna, please. Tell me...~ Cyrus gave her 'the look' and waited.

Suddenly she was in his mind, locking away the memories, soothing his fears. {{I said, I would protect you}} her voice grew hypnotic.

He blinked and stepped back, trying to shake off the intrusion. ~Brenna, wait. What are you doing?~

{{Making it better}} her voice was gentle as she locked away the last memory and gave him calm.

Cyrus took a slow breath, feeling utterly calm, this would normally have made him very nervous since he had never felt it before, but Brenna's actions were soothing him still.

He fell back onto the bed, one hand holding his head. ~Brenna...why? Why lock away the only thing I have to know my enemy? What is it that scares you about her?~

His own voice was soothing now, the calm having unlocked his attention to details.

{{It is best this way. Memories can grant power. I will not give others power over you. Now come, let's go play.}}

Had Cyrus been in control of his regular emotions he would have found this immediately suspicious, his natural paranoia would've sounded alarm bells the size of St. Paul's Cathedral.

But for now, all he felt was contentment, and the natural unnerving atmosphere of the gardens that was already beginning to gnaw away at the locks Brenna had made.

He decided to enjoy it while it lasted, he could deal with any worries tomorrow.