A Little R&R Ch. 05

"... mmmmmf... whut?"

Stifling a yawn with the back of his hand, Reno nuzzled into Rude. "Morning, sunshine."

"You were staring at me..." The bald man blinked, his eyes sticky. Reno shrugged and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Yea, so?"

"Weirdo. What time is it?" Rude made a quirky little face. He yawned as well, it was contagious.

"Eh, sometime around six, I guess." Reno had never been one for time.

Rude gave a long stretch and rolled himself upright, propping his good hand underneath him. The early morning twilight filtered the room with a dim glow, the chiseled features of Reno standing out more than usual. It was striking, the image of his compatriot lying on his side and looking up at him. His heart skipped a beat.

"What's on the agenda today? I didn't read the memo," Reno quizzed with his characteristic head-jerk. Rude gave a tousle to Reno's hair with his fingers, his hand not nearly as tender as it had been a few hours ago. He rose and crossed to the little closet. Pulling out the smaller man's suit, he tossed it to him.

"You have a date with your destiny," he smirked.

"Destiny," Reno snorted, propping himself up on his elbows. "You say that like its some big life changing deal. Face it, Rude; I'm not doing it any day other than today." Rude snickered, pulling off the white tank and placing it on a hanger.

"You never know. You might decide you like it. I can see it now. You, as Mr. Corporate."

"Yea and I could have Tseng's job with the company issued stick up my ass." Reno chuckled despite himself. Rude joined in the humor.

"Stranger things have happened..." his voice dropped. He wished he would have said that differently. Quickly, he slipped out of the leather pants. Stark naked, he folded them nicely and placed them on a little shelf over the closet rod.

Reno drank in the sight of him naked, bathed in the early morning light. He stared openly, half hoping Rude would catch him, half hoping he didn't. The familiar craving twisted in his gut again and he reveled in it. They were behind closed doors. He could do whatever he damned well pleased. He was starting to figure out this game that they played, and if it was one thing Reno had trouble doing, it was losing. Rude went to fetch some clean underwear, crossing over to his dresser drawer. He bent over, giving a full view show to the reclined redhead. Reno's body reacted before he had a chance to even think of quelling it. This wasn't fair. If he didn't know better, he would have said Rude was teasing him. It wouldn't have taken much for Reno to have lunged for Rude's leg and tongued the tattoo across his calf. He shook his head slightly and wriggled against the now uncomfortable confines of his pants.

Rude donned the white cotton without a second thought. His qualm wasn't over modesty, it was deeper than that. There had always been something about intimacy that Rude never seemed to quite get a handle on, his past experiences were condemning proof. He moved back over to the bunk, picking up and replacing his sunglasses as the morning sun rose brighter. Picking up the garment bag, Reno unzipped it, pulling out the brand new suit. He touched the starch white shirt and cringed.

"Hey, tell me again why I'm doin' this?" He removed the tie from the hanger and tossed it on the desk and draped the pants over the chair so he could wrestle with the shirt. Rude smiled broadly.

"Vendetta, what else?"

"Ah, yea...." Reno trailed, fighting with the buttons of the shirt. "See, now this is why three get buttoned and the rest don't. Button three and the shirt slides right over my head." He fastened each button up to the neckline, swallowing hard. It was a little closer to his neck than he was comfortable with. His head twisted back and forth, the material rubbing his neck as he buttoned the cuffs. "How the hell d'you put up with this?"

"Just do." He shrugged and switched back to the closet, pulling out his own white shirt and navy suit.

Reno unfastened the leather pants, allowing them to cling loosely to his hips as he fiddled with removing the dress pants from the hanger. They were blissfully undone so he only had to fight one way with them. Noting Rude picking up the old blue suit, his head jerked in disapproval.

"Why aren't you wearing the new stuff, yo? I figured you'd be the first to suit up."

"They're comfortable." Rude was halfway into his pants himself. There was no way he was going to admit being fond of something inanimate... except for maybe his sunglasses. He raised the fly and fastened the button with two quick flicks, tucking his shirt in that fell loosely around his waist.

"You make this shit look easy, yo." Reno grumbled, sliding the leather from his lower half. He stepped into the pants and tugged them up around his waist and fastened them. He then looked at his shirt tail and huffed, unfastening the waistband again to tuck the shirt inside, then refastened the pants and checked his progress. Rude chuckled elbow deep in a drawer, hunting for a pair of socks. Victorious, he let his eyes wander over to Reno, who was fidgeting in the more formal attire. He looked ridiculous, completely out of place. It just wasn't the same Reno he knew to be all spiffed up.

Triumphing a small success, Reno snagged his boots from in front of the closet and put them on quickly, tugging on his collar. He donned the jacket and zipped it. "Alright. I feel... damned uncomfortable! How the hell you do this, Rude? I can't breathe."

Rude hopped to catch up, managing socks and shoes as quick as he could. His tie hung limp and undone as he grabbed his jacket. He walked over and placed two fingers on each side of the gangly throat and slid them down into the collar, tugging firmly to create a slightly wider wrap around Reno's neck.

"Better?"

"I have to have help getting dressed," Reno huffed under his breath, sounding much like a truant schoolboy. "Yea, it's better," he admitted begrudgingly. He fingered the collar.

"Good. Let's go, I'm starving." The apple was still in his pocket from yesterday; it bumped against him as he righted the door open to leave. Reno jaunted toward the door and stopped dead.

"I'm forgetting something..." He bent to grab his goggles but stopped, allowing them to rest on the floor where he had dropped them last night. He ran his hands over his body, fidgeting. Key cards were in his pocket, he had his wallet. He danced in place, feeling like a complete idiot. Rude took the moment to whip his tie into a perfect knot.

"Ants in your pants?"

"I thought we covered this, yo, I'm the..." He stopped mid sentence and squeezed his eyes shut hard. Reno winced and reached blindly for his tie. His fingers wrapped around silk and he pulled it toward him, eyeing it as though it were a snake. Rude roared in a fit of laughter.

"Yes, your Hangman's Noose! D'you need a hand with that?" He had to wipe a tear from his eye. Reno glared at him, muttering something about getting dressed on his own. He wrapped the tie around his neck and half-assed tied it, tugging at it uncomfortably. He was really starting to regret participating in this bet. Rude fought hard to keep the swell of giggles to a minimum. If only I had a camera.

"... The fuck!" Reno threw up his hands, completely exasperated. "I used to know how to tie one of these things. I remember doing it. I remember being in full uniform for the first few weeks we were recruited. You remember that?"

Rude nodded, his grin spread ear to ear. This was priceless. "What do you want? Pratt?"

A wry smile spread slowly across Reno's face. "You want me to ask you to help me with this, don't you? You're just lovin' it, aren't you?"

"Uh huh. Now hold still." He couldn't hold the giggles in anymore as he tossed the fabric about and had the tie knotted in a matter of seconds. He cinched it up square to the collar of Reno's shirt.

"Can we go eat now?" Reno fumed, twisting his neck in his collar. The lack of sleep and not having food since lunchtime yesterday was really getting to him. Rude held his hand to the doorway.

"After you, Sir." He bowed deeply, doubling over more in laughter than in genuflection.

"Eh, stuffit." He walked through the doorway and down the hall to the elevators. Punching the button, Reno was already regretting his decision. He had to be in this getup all day long. It was going to kill him, he was sure of it. Rude settled himself into his standard stone-faced glower. He knew his buddy was going to have it rough, and he wanted to make sure things didn't get too far out of line. It was almost seven, time to get things rolling.

"We still doin' breakfast?"

Rude's stomach growled, speaking for him.

As the elevator door opened, the faces of the people standing inside perplexed him. They looked at him with wonder as though he had grown a second head, and they looked at Rude as though he were going to eat them. He stepped into the elevator, holding the door for Rude. Rude stiffened and entered the elevator, backing himself against one of the walls that cleared as he advanced. Not again... he groaned internally.

Reno shot a "what the fuck" look to Rude, after pushing the button to level 61. Rude stood as if a guarding sentinel; his hands clasped before him. He was just going to completely ignore this rampaging bullshit about him killing Reno. For craps sake, he was standing right next to him!

One of the secretaries in the elevator tapped Reno on the shoulder. "Excuse me, but are you Rude's new partner?" Her voice was soft and nearly conspiratorial. Reno ogled her.

"New partner?"

"Yea. His old partner had an... unfortunate accident."

"Unfortunate accident? Really. What happened to him?"

She leaned in closer, bringing her head down to nearly meet Reno's. "Some people say Rude... killed him..." She nearly choked on the end. Reno laughed out loud.

"Hey, Rude, did you know you killed Reno?" He grinned up at him, glad to have something to retaliate against the tie incident. Rude gave a flat line response.

"No, I didn't." To an untrained ear, the sarcasm could easily be missed. Reno snorted, ribbing Rude.

"They must really hate you 'cause they gave you me to replace him." Rude shifted his weigh as the elevator slowed to a stop. Not even a hint of a smile peeked at the corners of his lips. He was definitely not amused.

"So how did he kill Reno, anyway?" he asked the girl, grinning ear to ear.

"I don't know. No one has said, although there was something mentioned about him being blown up or something."

"Oh really?" Reno shook his head. "You know I always thought he would just dangle me out a window by my neck and see if I bounced." He grinned up at Rude. "Although if I don't knock it off, he might do it anyway." He turned back to the secretary with a wink. "Trust me. Rude didn't kill me." The young woman nearly ran from the elevator when it stopped, looking over her shoulder. Reno edged up to Rude as he watched the girl's retreating backside. Reno was reminded of a cheap horror film.

"Seriously, the hell did this come from?" Rude only gave a slight shrug. He wasn't trying to ignore Reno, but he sure was tired of all the nonsense that frequented the building. The next level was the one they wanted. "Rufus mentioned about you killing me yesterday. Who the hell would believe that?" Reno puzzled.

"Too many." Rude muttered quietly.

"That's sad."

The elevator bell sounded and the doors opened in the cafeteria. Reno waited for Rude before heading for the line, the entire cafeteria gone silent. Reno quirked, looking to Rude with a slight shrug. His stomach overruled any confusion and he nabbed the nearest edible item and headed to pay. Rude was a bit more selective in his choices, opting for foods not requiring much cooking. The bagel and cream cheese outranked everything by his standards. Ethyl, bless her hard working heart, was on the job again, bright and early. Her face became overly animated as she recognized Rude.

"Good morning, handsome!" Her jowls jiggled, head turning to catch Reno's presence. "And you, glad to see you're not dead." She laughed at her own joke.

"Thanks. That's the best thing I've heard all day." He handed her his card with a lopsided grin.

"And such nice manners, you two boys." She zipped Reno's card through. "I've been telling my girlfriends about you, I think my granddaughter might have some competition..." Her eyes twinkled.

Rude handed his card to her. She held it close to her chest. "My Matilda, she's a beautiful girl, nearly sixteen," she sighed, her thoughts miles away. "It would be so nice for her to have a boyfriend like one of you." Rude just about choked. Ethyl snapped back to the present time. "What am I saying, she's just a little too young for you... but in a few years..." her voice was leading. She swiped Rude's card. As he tried to reach for it, she snatched it back. "Only if I get a kiss this morning." She stuck out her cheek. Rude grimaced behind his glasses and gave her the world's tiniest peck, snatching his card in the same movement.

"You know, I don't think she's talking about her granddaughter," Reno teased. Despite the restrictions the uniform provided, Reno had been handed a bag full of ammunition this morning. "I think she wants you herself." He flopped into a seat at the nearest empty table. "That was pretty slick, though, with the card. You're not bad, Big Man." He tried to slouch in his usual fashion but the suit made it increasingly difficult, finding it more comfortable to sit up straight. Reno squirmed as Rude sent death rays straight into his head. Using a little plastic knife, he jabbed it into the container of spread and mashed it onto the bread.

"Ah, comeon, Rude... Relax. The only things I've seen are you killed me and the lunch lady still hits on you. It could be a lot worse."

At that precise moment, a loud crash echoed from over by the lunch line. The boy from the firing range had dropped his tray and was shaking visibly. Rude's face turned red as his jaw clenched, the bread disintegrating as he pushed on it harder. Ethyl had come out to help clean up the mess while the boy stood frozen, immobile for his own strange reason.

"You know, Rude... You might have been right. I'm one of the top men here because I can hold a tray of food. We have got some seriously low standards here, man."

"...and your gun." He literally growled. "That's the moron who nearly shot me in training." His injured hand was aching from being forcibly used. Reno's brow furrowed and he leaned in toward Rude.

"No one told me you were almost shot." Reno eyed the kid, memorizing his face.

Rude took a huge bite of what was once a bagel. He watched as it took several of the new trainees to dislodge the kid and move to the edge of the food court. If he listened hard, he could hear the babbled ramblings he had begun to sputter.

"The hell's that kid's problem?"

In between chews, Rude mumbled, "Freak."

Leaning back as best he could in the chair, Reno tugged at his collar, prodding at his food. "You had a crap day yesterday, didn't you?"

Rude nodded in agreement. "Haven't even read the reports from yesterday yet." He inhaled the remains of his breakfast. "A real laugh riot it's going to be." His sarcasm thickened.

"Eh, you need help, lemme know and I'll see what I can do, yo."

Rude kicked back in his chair, trying to settle himself down. Yesterday had truly sucked, no doubt, but the repercussions were just as irritating. Reno pushed his breakfast to the side, never touching a bite.

"You ready to get out of here? We can either head up to the common room or we can head to my office and catch the bulletin from this morning."

"You're not eating? Thought you were hungry?" Rude jerked his head and fiddled with his palm unconsciously.

"Eh, thought I was," he avoided, pushing his chair back from the table. He stood, his tie hanging at a slight angle and his shirt tail coming slowly untucked. Rude stood, waving his hand for Reno to come closer.

"C'mere, you're crooked."

Reno started, taking a step back. "Whaddya mean 'crooked'?"

"I mean you're crooked. Your tie." He took a step closer, both hands poised to correct the straying knot. One of Reno's hands snagged his tie and righted it as he took another step back.

"We should catch the bulletin. I made us late this morning." His tone wasn't unpleasant but it seemed rushed.

The whole room fell silent. All eyes had turned to the pair, Rude with his hands outstretched towards Reno's neck. Reno eyed the assembled before turning back to Rude.

"Let's get out of here. People are giving me the creeps."

Rude slowly dropped his hands to his side as he turned his head about. He nodded and made large strides to the main doors.

The elevator couldn't come quickly enough to deposit them safely in their offices. The doors opened, nearly clearing the elevator, save for three other people and Elena. As soon as she spied Reno, she hugged him.

"Reno, you're okay! I was worried about you yesterday!"

"Don't tell me you bought into that crap that Rude killed me?"

She waved her had dismissively. "Of course not. Rude is just a big..." She paused, eyeing him impishly. "Well, he's a lot of fun at parties. You should have been there last night, Reno. We actually had him dancing." Elena then turned her attention to Rude.

"And just where the hell did you sneak off to, mister? We looked for you for over an hour downtown!" She punched him in the shoulder. He gave a small yelp, only to hold up his wounded hand. Her demeanor changed. "Oh my gosh, Rude! What happened?? Did you take somebody down??" She grabbed him by the wrist and pulled his palm up to her nose. Rude's face was writhing. All he gave was a low moan.

Reno wrapped his fingers around Rude's wrist and pulled his hand away from Elena, stepping between them. "It's just a cut, nothing serious."

The elevator chimed and the doors slid open to level 66. Reno was the first off the elevator, dropping Rude's hand like it was hot. He waited just outside the doors for the other two to follow. Rude didn't want to go into any details further than what was necessary. Elena eyed him sternly.

"You got yourself trashed, didn't you? Bet you did that on a rusty fence. Serves you right for not waiting for us," she huffed.

"Rusty fence, eh?" Reno tossed his head back and pulled the door open for Elena. "Maybe that's why it's so sore, yo."

Reno darted inside the conference room door, holding it briefly for Rude and Elena to follow him and took his usual seat next to Elena. For the first few seconds, no one seemed to notice them, until the office went silent. One of the men turned toward Reno and gestured.

"Hey, who's the new guy?"

Rude sat himself next to Reno, ignoring the question possibly directed to him. He was weary as it was with how the day was starting, and he didn't want anything to do with the distorted rumor that had taken on a life of its own. Reno sat back in his chair and said nothing, rubbing his cheek absently. How could people possibly think he wasn't himself? How many other people did they know with markings like his? Not many people were crazy or stupid enough to tattoo their face. He stared around the room, looking at each of the people in the room one at a time. They were all staring either at him or at Rude. Reno shook his head and sighed. He couldn't believe these people would actually believe the gentle giant would kill anyone he wasn't specifically ordered to kill, especially his friend.

"So what'd I have to do t'get you people off this?" Reno planted his hands on the tabletop and leaned across until his face was inches away from his underling. "Do you know anyone else crazy enough to pretend to be me, yo?"

"Yea, our Reno wouldn't wear a suit," the underling chuckled, backing up a bit. "Besides, our uniforms are blue. And even if you were Reno, he'd never be in full uniform." He chuckled and sat in his seat, turning it toward the head of the table. Reno sat back, a bit dazed, looking to Rude, then to Elena in search of a solution.