How to Voyeur Women

How To Voyeur Women Without Having Anyone Thinking You Are Perverted.

Ah, the birds are singing, the weather is warmer, and women are wearing fewer clothes. Spring is in the air, skirts are shorter and blouses are lower cut. There is nothing like the sight of an upskirt of white cotton panties in the morning, well, in the afternoon, okay, and in the evening, too, unless of course it is a glimpse of a downblouse nipple. Don't you just love the Spring? Spring is only eclipsed by Summer. Bikinis, topless and nude bathing, and the beach, a voyeurs' paradise of voyeuristic opportunities, there is nothing like a heat wave to diminish the inhibitions of exhibitionistic women and raise the temperatures of voyeuristic men.

Unfortunately, these are the perfect conditions that bring out the ugly and dastardly perverseness in all men. It is terrible, simple terrible, and nasty the extremes that some men will go through just to get a glimpse of women's nude bodies. It is disgusting. I cannot count how many times I have nearly fallen out of a tree trying to get a better look at a woman undressing through her bedroom window, er, I mean a beautiful bird in a nest resting, or nearly been caught by some big boyfriend who has absolutely no sense of humor.

"Hey, man, I didn't even see her tits. She was still wearing her bra."

Yet, we guys are all voyeurs; we are all guilty of looking, staring, and ogling. The mere chance of a glimpse of the forbidden is enough to get our motor running in high gear.

Regrettably, with all the security cameras that abound and with more women who are aware of we perverted men ogling them and more women educated as to how men ogle them, so that they can effectively thwart our attempts at seeing sublime sights of silk, satin, and skin, we voyeuristic men need to constantly come up with new and creative ideas that give us what we want and to give us what we need, women in their underwear and, gulp, naked women.

Really, how can a voyeur possibly and successfully enjoy his hobby of voyeurism without making it to the sex registry list? It gets more and more difficult every year. Yet, keep the faith, oh, perverted ones. Below is a new and creative way on how you, as a pervert, can enjoy your hobby of voyeurism without drawing attention to yourself and without being deemed a pervert.

Unfortunately, the days of posing as a talent agent, a pornography film producer or photographer for a modeling agency and asking women to pose for you in all manners of undress are over and will get you arrested today. Ah, those were the days. Okay, so I can never step foot in New York City, again, so what? Also, unless you have some talent as an artist, taking an art class just to ogle a nude model will get you thrown out of class without a tuition refund. Trust me on this one; I know this for a fact. I left my umbrella there, too. And a moment of silence for the department store dressing rooms that had curtains that never closed all the way, now replaced by (sniff, sniff, sob) doors.

Anyway, here is a foolproof way to voyeur women without being deemed a pervert. Advertise in the local newspaper that America is loaded with perverted men and you, as a paid public service, are conducting an educational class for women who are new to the country and who do not want to be victims of voyeurism by a pervert. Mention in the ad, for demonstration purposes only, for the women to come to class wearing as little clothing as legally possible.

As the instructor, you have free reign to ogle your willing and eager students on the pretense of showing them how they are ogled so that they are not ogled in the future. It is perfect. Trust me, foreigners, especially foreign women, are trusting, eager to please, and do not suspect a thing. Fortunately, today, the teacher has a class full of women who do not speak or understand English well with most of the students being from Japan. Don't you just love women from a different culture? I do.

("Trust me, Honey, this is how we have sex in America. You are supposed to blow me first, and then when I wake up from my nap is when I give you pleasure.")

"I want to thank you all for taking this class. I assure you that this class is well worth the $100.00 that you paid to learn how not to be a victim of voyeurism. Don't hold me to it, but I am pretty sure that you can use this class as credit towards your citizenship."

The teacher walks out from behind his desk.

"We guys are all dirty perverts. Any chance we get, we are going to try and sneak a peak of your bra and/or panties. Yes, the woman in the front row, you have a question?"

"I always wear short skirts and low cut tops and never wear a bra or panties," says the hot redheaded siren in sexy Irish brogue. "Being the free spirit that I am, I always have problems with perverts."

"Ah, our first volunteer. What's your name?"

"Ashleigh."

"Perfect, Ashleigh, please stand. I am so glad you volunteered. You can help me to demonstrate how perverted men voyeur women."

"But, I didn't volunteer, I only—"

The teacher puts one hand on her back and the other hand on her ass.

"Now, bend at the waist as if you are picking something off the ground."

The teacher takes out his cell phone slips his hand beneath her upraised skirt and takes a photo of her bare ass.

"How was that?" Ashleigh stands tall smiling at the teacher then looking out at the class.

"There, did you all see what I did class? Not everyone saw what I did, Ashleigh. I will do it again for those in the back row who did not see. Can you bend again as if you are touching your toes, please, Ashleigh?"

Again, the teacher sticks his cell phone beneath her raised skirt from behind and takes another photo, this one even better than the first.

"What I did by placing my cell phone beneath Ashleigh's skirt is called an upskirt. These perverts will post these lewd photos on the Internet. It is truly disgusting the lengths that voyeurs will go to see your underwear or in the case of Ashleigh who is not wearing any underwear, her ass. The lesson here is that when wearing a short skirt do not bend at the waist. Keep your legs together and squat down to retrieve something that you have dropped. As a special note, unless you are Britney Spears or Paris Hilton, you really should wear underwear when out in public."

The teacher looks out at the women hastily taking notes.

"Now, Ashleigh, show the class how it is done correctly. Squat down to retrieve something instead of bending at the waist."

Ashleigh squats down but forgets to keep her legs together. The teacher gently bumps her and Ashleigh tumbles backwards with her legs splayed. The teacher takes a photo of her exposed pussy.

"Now, class, did you all see that? When Ashleigh squatted down she failed to keep her legs together. This is another ploy that I, er, I mean, perverts use, the bump and shoot. We, I mean, perverts call this the perfect shot or in Ashleigh's case, since she is sans underwear, the pussy shot."

He looks out to the class and smiles.

"Also, when Ashleigh was bending over like that, Ashleigh, please, bend again as you did before. There, do you see how you can see down her blouse?" The teacher cups her tit through her blouse. "This is called a downblouse. Perverts have the perfect view of her tits and nipples from this angle." Pointing, he puts an index finger to the impression that her nipple makes in her blouse.

The teacher takes a couple of photos with his digital camera.

"Also, turn a bit sideways. Perfect, Ashleigh, thank you, now, from this angle a pervert has a full and clear view of the underside of her exposed tits under and beneath her blouse. This is called an upblouse." He cups her tit beneath her blouse to clearly demonstrate to the class that her tits are exposed to any pervert.

He snaps a photo of the underside of her tits.

"Now, let's have everyone to the front of the class so that we can go over the lessons that we have learned so far."

The entire class wearing short skirts and low cut blouses takes a position at the head of the class. On cue, they bend over as the teacher places his digital camera up their skirt and takes a photo, then squats down as the teacher tries to bump them to knock them backward. Finally, he takes downblouse photos of each of his students. Ah, this teaching is a tough job but very rewarding, very rewarding, indeed.

At the end of the class each student thanks the teacher for showing them how not to be a victim of voyeurism. The students even ask the teacher for copies of their upskirt and downblouse photos so that they can frame it on the wall, as a way of remembering the class that they took.

"Yes, of course, I will get photos to everyone one who wants one for only $3.00 each."

By the way for those of you out there who are interested, I still have room in my next class. We are taking a ride on the subway where I will show you how to protect yourself from being groped. Please wear short skirts and tube tops with no bras for demonstration purposes only.

"I love teaching."