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Marital Competition: Everyone's Loss

12

This story is total fiction. My other stories had a substantial portion of true life experiences but this on is pure fiction. Hope you enjoy. Feedback is always welcome even from those hiding behind the anonymous name. I just delete your nasty comments and take to heart the helpful ones. I have used the familiar names as they are easier for me to remember.

*

Janet is a really short statured woman. At barely 5 feet she would be easily overlooked in a crowd if only she weren't so beautiful and perfectly shaped. Sometimes I call her my fairy pixie. She shines with energy and positive enthusiasm. Her face actually glows and her eyes sparkle with happiness. All our 22 years of married life have been filled with her sparkle and tireless work raising our two now young adult children. She can be bitchy meaning she wants her way regardless but we usually talk it through and then she gets her way once I understand what it is all about.

We have shared joys and sorrows together. Our lives are so intertwined that I can't even think of life without her. She tells me the same and I have always believed her until; well that's all about this story.

I find myself in southwest England, helping a fellow General Practitioner in his practice. I'll be here another 11 months until my one year contract runs out. Through friends I found out that Great Britain was recruiting international physicians for its National Health Service. This opportunity provided me with the perfect "retreat" from reality and space from my cheating wife. At 44, same age as my wife, I still have lots of life ahead of me, life alone possibly. If not alone, then certainly life terribly disrupted by events that recently came to my attention.

I had a small cottage. It was typical English country side and only a quarter mile from the office I worked in. I could walk or bicycle to work. My salary was adequate and the working conditions perfect for me. I had plenty of English style social life which I rather enjoyed. When folks found that I was estranged and in a divorce proceeding, I was amazed at the number of truly cute and vivacious young women who were interested in my social wellbeing.

As of right now, I limit my social life to group activities which included a few double dates and I haven't even kissed any lassie yet. I really didn't want to. I wanted my wife back, big time. My heart ached for the time before I became aware of her cheating. Words cannot express the emptiness of life within and around me without my Janet. That is, without my exclusive Janet. It was her revelation that she was sharing her body with her young lover that drove me away. It was her demand that I allow her to continue that I could not handle.

Yes, she wanted to continue to be married to me. Nothing had changed in her behavior toward me. It was when I discovered her ongoing affair and the depth of its emotional nature that I left her and my marriage.

Well before all this, I had given up my private practice because of the administrative problems caused by cheating HMO's and giant insurance companies, among other things. I had taken to being a locum tenens physician. This allowed me to frequently be at home during otherwise normal working hours. Sometimes I would work in an Emergency Room for a weekend, making enough for a weeks income in two twelve hour shifts. All without any administrate junk except keeping up my license, CME and malpractice insurance.

When our second son left home for college Janet wanted to go back to work. That was fine with me. She wanted to be useful and earn some income also. She said she wanted to find a challenge in life and work to make a success. For years we had had separate bank accounts. That way each of us could have our check books when ever we wanted. We each had our own separate credit cards also. For the past three years since Janet had been working, she put her salary into her own checking account and paid her own credit card. For many years Janet had paid all our bills, whether mine or hers, they were always "ours". That is until she got a job, and separate credit card. Now we had "my bills" which were things like taxes, insurance, utility bills, home loan payments, food bills and gasoline. My income went exclusively into my account and her income into her account. Then there were "her bills". These were for her cosmetics, clothing and her credit cards. I never bothered to look at her bank statements or credit cards. I trusted her and she never asked me for money anymore. As a result of our both working, even with the kid's college expenses, we began to put more money away for retirement in our separate IRA's.

Other than our separate income and expenses, we continued to share everything in common. Our sex life was vanilla and not frequent enough for me but I had no real complaints. She was still energetic in bed but we had decreased frequency to not even twice a week. Sometimes she wanted me to do things that I just couldn't do. She wanted me to play "Dom/Sub" with her. When she told me what it was, I just couldn't do it. I felt like I would be humiliating her. After a couple of times pillow talking about it we just dropped the subject. It all sounded so kinky to me. Calling one "master" or "slave" just was degrading to me. I discounted this to just a normal fantasy stuff.

Janet worked for a large group of physicians. This group was a major off campus site for medical students and even residents to take preceptorships. As a result, medical trainees were frequently in the office attached to different doctors. My wife worked as a nurse for two of the Family Physicians in the group. She had frequent contact with medical students and residents in training.

I got home early from work one afternoon while Janet was still at work. As I drove in, I got the mail from the mailbox along with the daily paper. Usually Janet does this. That was the mail and paper are sorted out and ready for me to read when I get home.

After getting a diet coke and a handful of animal crackers, I settled in on my lounge boy chair to read the mail. In the mail, was her statement from her private credit card bank. For no particular reason, I opened it, perhaps I was looking for one of the numerous sometimes interesting commercial offers for unneeded trinkets that accompanying the payment due statement. I perused her short list of bills.

One caught my eye. It was a bill from a local third rank motel for one day charge. I looked again and saw a series of dates and charges for the same motel. I had no idea what this was all about. I got up to go to my den to check my work calendar. The charges were all on Wednesdays of last month. I gasped as I then checked my day planner. I had been in town every one of those days, working in an Emergency room on a noon to midnight second coverage shift. Janet had also not left town. She had been home when I arrived shortly after midnight every Early Thursday morning.

Something in my gut squeezed down on me. I could not think of a reason for these bills other than sinister infidelity happenings. Never in my worst nightmares could this scenario occur yet here it was staring me in the face. The statement mocked me as if laughing at my trust in my wife. My first reaction was to look to see if this was only last month. I knew where she kept her statements in a desk drawer in the master bedroom. She made no special effort to hide these. I guess that helped my trusting her. I had no reason to look at them and therefore had not done so before. Her drawer where she kept the past statements was my next stop.

She obviously trusted me not to look at her statements as they were neatly filed and easily accessible in the second left drawer. I got out the previous months statement. Yeppers! Every week there was a bill from the motel. Usually it was a Wednesday but not always. I compared the dates with my work calendar and each was when I was either out of town over night or working to midnight.

Finding the months previous, I verified that there were another four weekly bills from the same motel. I went back to the January statement, some eight months ago. There to my dismay and horror were three weekly bills from the very same motel. Also there was a bill from a 4 star restaurant for over a hundred dollars. Meals and alcoholic beverages itemized. I was sure that I had not eaten there with her. The bill was too large for just one person so she had paid for at least two peoples dinner.

I had a pattern of bills at a motel. Janet had not told me anything about these. I had no reason to question her, until now, as I knew nothing about them. Tonight I was going to confront her and get an explanation. I put everything back in place and went to my den and computer to try to make sense of all this. Already I knew the answer but had to get her to verify it. I had to make plans immediately and set about doing the needed. I got my suit cases from the attic along with two clothes bags. I put these in my bedroom closet as I figured last night was my last night in this house with her.

I ordered Pizza and salad to be delivered. The table was set with our good china and real silverware along with candles and wine glasses. I straightened up the great room and cleaned the kitchen. My nervous actions allowed me to do something with my hands while my heart and mind raced in a thousand directions. My perfect life had come to a crushing end. My trust had been misplaced. I wondered for how long this had been going on. The why's and who's and when's overwhelmed my mind into a numbed sense of nothingness. Obviously, our lives had become untwined and now I was floating around in life without my mooring. After all, she was 'home' and 'life' to me.

I heard a car come up the drive way. The door bell rang so I knew it was pizza delivery. He left leaving me with a hot pizza, cold salad and a bottle of chilled chardonnay. The wine went in to the cleaned refrigerator, the pizza into the warming oven and the salads into two dishes in the refrigerator ready for serving.

I heard my wife's car arrive as the garage doors opened then shut. She was in the house as I welcomed her with a warm hug and kiss. For a moment, I forgot anything could be bad between us. Having her in my arms was my life and my home. The dark thoughts crashed back in and I disentangled from her arms pushing her away gently but definitely.

"Janet," I tried not to let my voice waver. "I have a pizza dinner for us tonight. Go wash up as I serve it all up."

"What's the special event, John?" she inquired with a twinkle in her eye.

"Just go wash up, Janet." I urged her as I turned toward the kitchen. I checked for her latest credit card statement still in my trousers pocket to be sure I had it.

We sat and enjoyed the pizza, salad and wine. I poured a second glass for myself and offered her a fill up which she took. I rarely had a second glass but tonight I felt the need.

"You are out doing yourself, John," She giggled. "You never have a second glass and here you are turning out to be a real alcoholic." She giggled and lightly kicked me under the table.

We bantered lightly as we finished the meal.

"Let's clean up and have a coffee, Janet. I have a little light desert and a subject for conversation."

We cleaned the table. We put the excess pizza into the oven and corked the wine for the refrigerator. The coffee had brewed and I produced some light "Little Dolly" cake squares. I knew these were her favorite desert. I didn't particularly like them. They tasted too artificial for me but were perfect for tonight. I thought, sweet on the outside. She liked them but I was revolted by the inside taste. It reminded me of what might be coming in a moment or two.

Usually when we have a subject to discuss, we sit next to each other on the couch. This time, knowing it was going to be a confrontation, not a problem solving discussion, I suggested we sit at the table again, facing each other. We sipped coffee as she dug into her tiny piece of sugar coated cake. I had no taste for these and didn't even break one open with my fork. I just diddled with it, feeling increasingly nervous.

Reaching into my pocket, I produced the envelope from her credit card bank. I took out the statement, unfolded it and said, "This came today. I opened it. I have never done this before but I guess a little voice was telling me to take a look at it. Janet, you have way overdrawn your account.. I had an awful feeling as I flattened the statement out facing her and pointed to the weekly motel bills. I fear you have not overdrawn your credit card, it is our trust and marriage account that has been overdrawn." I looked at her intently.

She looked at the statement. I had caught her red handed. She is quick witted but didn't have an immediate explanation.

I continued, "Janet, I checked your other monthly statements going back to January of this year. I can clearly see charges from this same motel almost weekly over the entire year. There are other very suspicious charges also."

I took a long breath and sat back in my chair looking her straight I the eyes.

"I just want you to be honest with me about these. I have a right and need to know the truth."

She took a long slow breath and began.

" John, I want you to know that I love you very much. I also want to stay married to you. Yes, I have a lover. He is now a first year resident at the University. We have fallen in love." She began to cry. "At first, we just talked. He was a student on a junior preceptor ship with the group where I work. At first, He reminded me physically so much of you twenty years ago when we first met. He made be feel young again. Things progressed. How much do you want to know tonight, John?"

"Lots more." I spoke firmly.

He comes from a broken family and never really had a mother after his grade school years. I guess I became his surrogate mother for a while. Then we became like friends then the intimacies began. For the year we have been frequent sexual partners. I taught him almost everything about sex. I brought experience and he brought youth, vigor and an aggressive style to our sex lives. Oh John, I'm not sorry at all for what I'm doing. I just hope that you will be understanding. I need the both of you in my life. I know how awful this sounds but it is so awesome to me. My sex life has been so wonderful with him. He is an alpha male. He is a true dominant and I have truly loved being his sub.

You know that I like to be the aggressive one in the sex life you and I share. You never dominated me. You never hurt me or strck me or did anything even close to that. You never used nasty language when we make love. He calls me his slut and whore and refers to my pussy as his cunt. When I am with him sexually, he owns my body and I my heart also. All these are an aphrodisiac to me now. I expect you can't understand that but it's true. When he and I became lovers, he immediately became the dominant and I had to submit. I was afraid at first but then I learned to love being his truly submissive sub. The only thing I have refused him is to refuse sex to you. He demanded this but I stood firm on that point. The only bad thing has been the cover up on you. I never lied to you but I never told you either. I have not left you for him so I haven't broken our promises we made when we got married. I have been here for you for twenty years."

She wasn't crying any longer. She was just explaining something to me as if she had found a new dress that she loved and hadn't told me about. I had not expected her to just come forward and answer the question before I asked them. She was being up front with me.

"Janet, has he been in our house? Have you had sex with him here in my sanctuary?"

"Yes, John. I didn't invite him. He demanded to come here and take me. He said this house is now his and I belong to him. Of course I don't actually belong to him all the time. It's only when we are together."

I was seething mad. She had made me into a wimp and cuckhold. I was heart broken but had not given in. Not by a long shot. No damn arrogant surgeon was going to do that. The may denigrate us ER docs but I won't let him humiliate me with my family. NO WAY was that going to happen!" I almost spit these at her. My body tightened and I glared in hatred at her for the first time in my life.

"Janet," I looked at her and reached out to take her hand across the table. "If you break this off immediately, I will try my very best to keep our marriage intact. Will you do that? You must be forceful and truthful to him about never seeing him again alone for any reason. Will you call him right now while I am on the phone with you and tell him it is all over between you?"

"Oh John, please don't say that. You don't know how much I love him and how much he loves me. I love you to. I need both of you."

"Janet," my voice took on a more threatening and angry tone, "There is NO option as far as I see it. You will do this or our marriage is over as of tonight. I will not continue to share you sexually with anyone, male or female. You know how I have always felt about this. We have twenty plus years and two children together. Are you going to throw these away? My life will be destroyed. I will be adrift in life without the only woman I have ever loved and trusted. Please tell me and show me that I am your real man."

I waited but she just shook her head sadly, looking down at the table.

I got up from the table. I put my hands under the table and lifted it up, turning it on top of her. She fell backward with the table top on top of her. She screamed in fright. I stomped off to the bedroom and finished packing in silence. I heard her pushing the table off her body. I went to the bedroom door and locked it. I didn't want to talk to her anymore. It took me only a few minutes to complete what I needed from the bedroom. I was seething in rage.

Unlocking the door, I found her sitting on the floor across from the bedroom door waiting for me. She had been crying but had quit. I didn't offer to help her up. Walking past her I told her I would be back in a few minutes to get a few things more from my den. The two suitcases, the hanging bag and I made it to the garage and into my car. Returning to my den, I put my lap top into it's carrying case along with several external memory chips and a stack of CD's. Next came all my financial files which I put into a cardboard box. I included files on the house and my car. I removed the side from my tower computer and removed the hard drive. Next came some of my more needed medical books. These went into the trunk. As I came back, Janet was still sitting on the floor in the hall where she had been sitting, as if in a trance. She had pushed the table off her. I grabbed her and dragged her to the bedroom which was a mess by now. I was not careful to pick up after myself as I usually did. I pushed her onto the bed then pulled her up to a sitting position. I stood in front of her. I intended to dominate her physically and emotionally if at all possible.

"Janet, I am out of your life as of right now. You can have all you want of your new doctor lover boy. I hope he will take care of you as well as I have. I hope you don't do to him what you have done to me. I will find somewhere else to live. You will hear from my yet to be found divorce lawyer in a few days. I have my cell phone and will listen to any messages you have for me. I won't promise to return your calls and I don't plan to let you know where I am staying for the time being. Oh yeah, you can have the rest of the pizza and wine. My life is going to be filled with new wine. I will not tell you good bye or good night for 'good' is not in my vocabulary when I think of you anymore. I turned and left her and my twenty some years of shared life and family.

12
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