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A Family of Men in America

My name is Josh Fernando and I'm a student at Brutus College in Sanford, Maine. Originally, I'm from the Island Nation of Haiti, down in the Caribbean. Cap Haitian is my hometown. I attended College Notre Dame, an all-male private Catholic High School located in Cap. I received a very good education which prepared me for dealing with the world. This year, I moved to America with my father Franklin and brothers Carlos and Jose. For a young brother like myself, this new school and the country took a little getting used to. I acclimated myself really quickly. The Island People are very good at adapting. I moved into the Brutus College dorms in August 2007. This was to be my first year at this school and my first year in America. Talk about a time of discoveries.

At first glance, Brutus College seemed like a nice place. A small, four-year private college with only one campus. It was located in a wooded part of the town of Sanford. The school had four thousand students, most of whom were graduates of Sanford High School. I was one of three hundred African-American students on campus. There were two hundred and eighty Asian students and four hundred Latinos. Yes, the demographics were really accurate. Fortunately, the school was diverse in the only way which mattered. There was an equal number of male and female students on campus. That's a good thing, especially in an age where colleges and universities take away athletic opportunities from male athletes to cooperate with unfair, outdated gender quotas. America is a strange country with many strange rules. Life is much simpler in the Islands. Oh, well. Can't change the world.

I'm a Soccer fan and I was delighted to hear that Brutus College was starting a Men's Varsity Soccer team. They already had quite a few sports, like Men's Intercollegiate Baseball, Basketball, Cross Country, Rowing, Ice Hockey, Volleyball, Rugby, Fencing, Water Polo, Football, Swimming, Gymnastics, Fencing and Lacrosse along with Women's Intercollegiate Softball, Basketball, Cross Country, Ice Hockey, Rowing, Volleyball, Water Polo, Fencing, Rugby, Swimming, Gymnastics, Lacrosse, Soccer and Field Hockey. I don't know a lot about these sports but I loved Soccer. I went to try out for the Men's Soccer team. I've been playing ever since I was a kid on dirt roads in Haiti. There's no American who can play soccer better than me. Soccer is life. Soccer is what I dream of when I go to sleep and what I think about when I wake up. It's not just my favorite sport. It's the best sport in the world. Played on all continents. Let Americans enjoy their Football and all that. Soccer fans know what a real tough sport is. We don't need silly helmets and pads. Haitian men don't bother with such things. We play hard and roll with the punches! We're not afraid of a few bruises.

I met several interesting guys on the Soccer team. They were an attractive, spirited and healthy bunch. One of them stood out from the rest. One of our best players was James Vann, a big and tall, black-haired, green-eyed Irishman. He came from the city of Boston and used to attend Boston University before switching to Brutus College. He claimed that Boston University was a lousy school which didn't spend enough money on college sports. He was going on and on about what a pathetic excuse for a Division One Intercollegiate Sports program they were. They lacked key sports like Men's Soccer and Football. I didn't know much about what he was talking about. I don't play for scholarship money. I played because I loved it. According to James, Brutus College was a local athletic powerhouse, in spite of being only Division Three. He explained the difference between schools to me.

Division One Colleges and Universities were schools like Ohio State University, Harvard University, Pennsylvania State University and Georgia Tech, which had tons of money and had outstanding sports programs offered to both men and women. They offered full athletic scholarships to all student-athletes on varsity sports teams. Division Two Colleges and Universities were schools like Valdosta State and Grand Valley State. They offered partial athletic scholarships to student-athletes on varsity sports teams. They didn't have as much spending money as the Division One Colleges and Universities. The Division Three Colleges and Universities were small schools with really tight budgets who didn't spend that much on Intercollegiate Athleticism since their only revenue came from student payments. These institutions were schools like Bridgewater State College and UMass-Boston. Brutus College fell into that category. However, our Athletic Department was in the hands of Lucas Brown, a visionary who used to play both college and professional football. He led the school on a massive fundraiser last year which brought about the major changes resulting in Brutus College becoming an athletic powerhouse.

I decided that I liked James Vann. He seemed cool and open-minded. I secretly hoped that we had more in common than just being collegiate soccer players. What do I mean by that? Let's just say that I'm a brother of a different persuasion when it comes to love and relationships and leave it at that. Okay, fine. I'm bisexual. I feel drawn to both men and women, to different extents. It's not something I go around telling people. I'm not in denial. I accept myself for who and what I am. It's hard for me to reconcile my sexual identity with my faith and cultural identity. Being bisexual and a Haitian man who's also a Roman Catholic don't seem to go together. That's why I'm celibate. I don't need any relationship-related drama to mess up my life. Right now, I focus on playing Soccer and going to school. I thought about sharing my secret with James since he was such a cool guy. But I thought better of it. Many people say they're not prejudiced and that they're open-minded but sometimes, they are prejudiced, deep down. I have too much to lose. I still can't believe I enrolled at Brutus College the year they started a Men's Soccer team. Well, well. Looks like I came just in time, hey?

The Men's Soccer team continued to practice and get better. I put a lot of myself into it. I pushed myself and my teammates. Our first game was against Fitchburg Tech, which was Brutus College's most notorious rival. Fitchburg Tech, a four-year private technical institute, had been the bane of Brutus College sportsmen and sportswomen since the early 1980s, when Brutus College was founded. Fitchburg Tech's foundation went back to the 1940s. I checked out the competition on the Internet before going up against them. Fitchburg Tech's website was very informative. I will never understand the American habit to reveal everything about themselves on the Internet. Oh, well. A brilliant tactical mind like mine analyzed the opposite team's weaknesses and got ready for them.

The Fitchburg Institute of Technology was a private institution with eight thousand five hundred students. It had a focus on engineering and computing but recently added a liberal arts program. The student body was fifty one percent male and forty nine percent female. They competed in the National Collegiate Athletic Association's Division Three for all sports. Currently, their Department of Athletics sponsored Men's Varsity Baseball, Basketball, Cross Country, Soccer, Swimming, Squash, Sailing, Football, Wrestling, Volleyball, Lacrosse, Rifle, Gymnastics, Fencing, Water Polo and Bowling. For female student-athletes, they had Women's Varsity Softball, Field Hockey, Skiing, Ice Hockey, Gymnastics, Cross Country, Soccer, Swimming, Rifle, Sailing, Squash, Pistol, Volleyball, Lacrosse and Rugby. They were collectively known as the Fitchburg Tech Lasers and Lady Lasers. What a stupid name! Exactly the kind of name a bunch of high-tech geeks would come up with. We were so going to kick their butts! We had damn well better, since my father Franklin and brothers Jose and Carlos would be watching!

Just as I predicted, the Fitchburg Tech Men's Varsity Soccer team was a pathetic excuse for a sports team. We beat them sixteen to five. Yep. You read right. I was so happy I cried. We kicked ass! Would you believe that over eighty percent of the student population came to the stadium to watch our first game? We kicked ass and took names. I personally scored eight goals during the first half. Hell yeah! This Haitian expatriate was going to show these lazy Americans how Soccer was meant to be played. I think I saw tears in the Fitchburg Men's Soccer team captain's eyes. What a wimp! When I went home, I was so happy!

My father Franklin took all of us Fernando men out to dinner to celebrate. My brothers were proud of me. We're all Haitian men living in America under student visas. Trying to make a living. I love my brothers. We look a lot alike too. Jose, the eldest, is six feet two inches tall, with jet-black skin and long curly black hair. He has bushy eyebrows and a thick mustache. He's twenty four. He came to America to work and make some money to support his wife Geraldine, who's still living in Haiti. He hopes to bring her to America someday. Right now, he's working as a private security officer while attending Sanford Community College. He's a Criminal Justice major. My other brother Carlos is big and bulky, with dark brown skin and long, wavy black hair. His eyes are a golden shade of brown. He gets that from our dearly departed mother, Olga. He is the genius in the family, having won himself an academic scholarship to Boston College. He's a Communications major. As for our dad, he travels to and from Haiti a lot, buying furniture and sending it by boat to the Island from Florida.

We're just an ordinary Haitian family trying to make it in America. Four strong black men who care for each other very much. My father and brothers were all very proud of me for leading Brutus College to victory in Men's Soccer. After dinner, Jose thanked me for representing the family name on the Soccer field. He wished he could play college soccer but he didn't have the time. As a married man, he had other responsibilities. Also, Sanford Community College wasn't half as good as Brutus College, even though the two schools were only three miles apart. Sanford Community College was a very small school with only twenty eight hundred students. Their sports programs also reflected their small size. They had Men's Basketball, Baseball, Swimming, Volleyball, Ice Hockey, Golf, and Cross Country along with Women's Basketball, Softball, Swimming, Field Hockey, Ice Hockey, Golf, Cross Country and Volleyball. Oh, well. I guess I was more fortunate than I previously thought. Across the board.

After dinner, my father and brothers prayed as was our custom. We're Roman Catholic by upbringing. Always have been. That's part of what makes it really difficult for me to be who I am. I've had relationships in the past. My romances with women were well-known. My dalliances with men were kept secret. I haven't been with anyone in years. Someday, that might change. For now, I'm flying solo and that's cool with me. I go to school. I play Soccer. I go to work. I come home and relax. That's the deal for now. It's kind of boring but suits me fine. Here's to a better tomorrow for all of us, hey?

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