My Wife at a Nude Beach

When my wife and I were first married, we took a car trip to San Francisco to see the sites and visit the Oceanside. Although Tabitha was a modest woman when we were dating, she was very intrigued when I mentioned that some of the beaches in the area permitted nudity. Expecting her to groan or make a sarcastic comment about my desire to ogle her, or worse, other women, I was surprised when instead she actually insisted that we visit one.

After we arrived at our hotel room, Tabitha picked out a beach from our travel brochure and called to confirm that it was clothing-optional. After she was assured that it was, we packed up and were ready to go.

Tabitha was nervous and excited while we were driving towards the waterfront, and once we arrived, she hopped out of the car and immediately proceeded to strip completely naked in the parking lot.

I opted to wear my swimming trunks, but Tabitha proudly tossed her clothes into the car and slung her beach bag over her shoulder. I could see she had visible tan lines over her bikini area, but she was clearly looking to remedy that.

The beach was deserted except for a small number of people and my wife was the only one who was nude, yet she didn't mind in the least. We picked a spot near the water where my wife sprawled across the sand and relaxed in the sunlight. I had never seen her so calm and carefree in her life, that is, until she spotted Mr. Kreiling, the Principal of the elementary school where she taught fourth grade, arriving at the beach with his wife.

Suddenly, Tabitha went from completely serene to being on the verge of a panic attack. She kept her face in my direction, whispering frantically that if Mr. Kreiling recognized her she was certain she would die of embarrassment. I told her to relax and put on her swimsuit but she said she left it in the car.

Having no other option and Mr. Kreiling coming closer to where we sat, my wife grabbed a filthy cardboard KFC bucket that had been discarded nearby, and she placed it over her head.

Trying to suppress my laughter, my wife grabbed my arm and ordered me to walk her back to the car.

I carefully led her up the sandy dune back towards the car, walking right past Mr. Kreiling, who looked perplexed at having seen a man walking a naked woman with a dirty bucket over her head.

When we arrived at the car and I assured her that Mr. Kreiling was out of site, she discarded the bucket and put on her clothes, apparently having decided never to venture out of her clothes in public again.

While driving back home she repeatedly asked me if Mr. Kreiling had recognized her, and I assured her that he hadn't but was most likely scratching his head over her strange behavior.

The following September, when school was back in session, my wife was still nervous about the incident and was praying that her first confrontation with Mr. Kreiling would be uneventful.

As she walked into the teacher's lounge at the start of her first day, she found Mr. Kreiling, and several other teachers smiling, while seated around a table where an empty KFC bucket sat.

My wife took one look at that bucket and her face burned beet red, and the entire room lit up with laughter. She told me she later asked him how he recognized her and he said he suspected it after he saw her car in the parking lot, but that her reaction to seeing the bucket in the teacher's lounge confirmed his suspicions.

For the remainder of the year Tabitha's incident became an in-joke between the teachers at her school. Some would make many innuendos in their classes, and one teacher went so far as to come to school on Halloween dressed in a beach towel and a KFC bucket over his head, but with he front cut out to allow vision.

Tabitha took all of the jokes in stride, and as far as she knew none of the students ever found out about what happened.

Even I occasionally tease her about it, and fortunately my wife did eventually work up the nerve to visit a nude beach again, although she always keeps a swimsuit at hand in case of emergencies. Meanwhile I've kept Tabitha's parents and family members entertained by my retelling of the story every year at Christmas dinner, and it never fails to bring a smile to everyone's face, including Tabitha's.