Impulse Control 101

Dear Reader: This is the beginning of a series of stories I plan to share. They are largely autobiographical, with adjustments for identity and continuity. The theme, which develops slowly (because that's how it happened) is primarily BDSM. If this isn't your preference, I would respectfully suggest that you might not want to read beyond the first two stories. If BDSM is your thing, I hope you enjoy these stories, which are most definitely not fantasies. Oh, and please remember to vote!

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I hurried down the institutional green hallway, my heels clattering in time with my heartbeat, cursing my chatty psych professor, campus traffic, and anything else I could think of. I reached my tutor's door and grabbed for the knob before I'd even stopped, bursting into his office with a breathless apology on my lips.

He brought me up short with a snap of his fingers, pulling my eyes to his face. He grimaced, pointed to the phone at his ear, and gestured sharply for me to leave his office. With robot-like precision I turned on my heels, backed out, and closed the door behind me, then slid to the floor beside it with a sigh.

Rude, arrogant prick! I fumed at his treatment of me and recited the list of insults I'd endured since asking him for help two weeks ago, after I'd utterly bombed my first physics quiz. What was I thinking when I'd decided on physics for my freshman science course? Maybe it was the idiotic notion that chemistry and biology had been a breeze in high school. Showed how much I knew about college classes. And this lab teacher! The professor who taught the lecture wasn't so bad, but his minion. Rude, arrogant prick.

Of course, if I stopped being so embarrassed for a moment, I could maybe bring myself to admit that I wasn't exactly full of good manners myself. Being late and bursting into his office like that wasn't exactly good form. But sometimes it felt like Mark enjoyed belittling me, showing up how stupid I was (about physics anyway), as some kind of perverse hobby. I always seemed to get the weirdest questions. If I did have an answer, which was rare, he never called on me. His private tutoring was barely more tolerable, if only for the fact that nobody else got to witness my humiliation.

The rattle of Mark's doorknob interrupted me before I could reach full seethe. He looked out the door, taking a moment to find me at his feet. I could feel myself blushing as I scrambled to stand, nearly reaching out for a hand I just knew wouldn't be there, then feeling guilty as I saw him pull it back, unneeded. I followed him into his office and over to the battered sofa and table where we usually sat, dropping my books on the table before turning to face him. My apology died on my lips as I saw his face. He stood away from me, arms crossed, glaring.

"Did anyone ever teach you to knock?"

"Uh, ummmm, yes....Sir. I'm sorry."

"I have to wonder just how sorry. You're always late, you don't pay attention. How much do you really want to pass this class?"

I blushed at his accusations, knowing they were all true and not having any kind of reasonable explanation, but I tried.

"My psych class ran late today, and it took forever to get across campus. And I'm not at all sure about this class anymore."

Mark frowned at me, taking a step closer. "I think you can pass this class, Amy, if you work at it with me. But you have to be willing to try."

I looked away, blushing. "I didn't think I was unwilling, but I guess I could apply myself better." I laughed sadly. "That's been the story of my life."

He looked at me thoughtfully, and held his hand out to me. "Let's try a new story, then. I want to help you, if you're willing to keep trying....but get a watch, will you?"

I laughed as I accepted his hand, and we took the last few steps to the sofa, taking our usual places.

"So where were we?"

We settled in and attended to the mysteries of class 1 versus class 3 levers. Maybe it was my new-found resolve, maybe it was that I'd just been hammered with this stuff sufficiently, but I finally seemed to start to understand. As we worked through the assignment I began to relax. Without thinking I reached into my purse and found a small lollipop, which I unwrapped and slipped into my mouth, smiling at the burst of fruity sweetness.

Mark continued to enlighten me, and I listened carefully as a part of me sat back and watched him. He wasn't an awful guy, at least not his looks. Kind of ruggedly handsome with a sun-kissed complexion, thick, dark wavy hair and tawny brown eyes. I liked the crinkles around his eyes that told me he mostly smiled (when not tutoring stubborn girls like me), and the strong square line of his jaw. He was so very male looking that the softness of his lips was a startling contrast. I felt goose bumps rise on my arms as I thought about those lips. Down girl!

He rattled off a bunch of questions and I answered them quickly enough that he nodded in satisfaction. He paused for a few moments, flipping pages in my textbook, then launched into a new lecture. I listened, took notes, asked questions as needed, and smiled to myself as I realized I was really starting to get this stuff after all. I scribbled more notes then looked up at Mark, waiting for his next comments.

The silence drew out, until I realized he was staring at me, seemingly lost in thought.

"Is that all?"

Silence

I slipped the lollipop out of my mouth and waved it in front of his face.

"Mark, are you done?"

He startled and blinked at me.

"Oh, I.......I'm sorry, where were we?"

I read back my last notes, gazing at him expectantly as I finished, then popped the shrunken candy back into my mouth. There wasn't much left so I bit it off the stick with a loud crunch. Mark winced and I apologized, chuckling.

"Sorry, suckers help me to think."

To my amazement, Mr. Serious laughed and told me "They've given me a thought or two."

Before I could stop and think about who I was talking to, I winked at him. "A girl has to keep in practice, you know."

"Oh, really?"

My brain finally fell into gear at that moment and I could feel my face burning.

Mark chuckled and muttered something about all bark and no bite.

And then I looked down at his lap.

He'd been sitting in a comfortable-looking sprawl, laid back with his long legs stretched in front of him. The tenting of his dark blue slacks was unmistakable.

A riot of thoughts ran through my head. I'd turned him on with my lollipop, that much was for sure. But he hates me, how can that happen? Ohmygod, is this going to be one of those sleazy "let me help you with your grades and we'll work something out on the side" situations?

Would that be so bad?

Then I looked at his lap again. That was one helluva bulge. And what would his lips feel like, anyway?

I'd like to say I lost my mind right then, but honestly I thought I knew exactly what I was doing.

I slid to the floor on my knees in front of him, my back hard against the edge of the table.

"I promise you, I definitely don't bite."

He caught my wrist as I reached for his zipper.

"Get up."

I stayed put, pleading with my eyes.

"Please, just let me. We both know you're turned on. I....I'd just like to please you. I'm a good cocksucker, try me."

I realized I was shaking and tried to silence all the voices in my head that were lecturing me about 'good girls.'

Mark looked at me, and I suspected he had a few voices of his own. After a long, long pause he sighed, letting my wrist go and leaning back, giving me better access.

Funny how my mouth could be so dry and my pussy so wet at the same time. I licked my lips and rose up on my knees to work his zipper.

"You know," he said softly, "you may be getting more than you bargained for."

I leered up at him. "Let me decide."

He laughed, throwing up his hands in defeat.

I opened his trousers slowly, reaching inside his fly with eager fingers. Well, well, I thought to myself, no underwear, how nice. His cock was pleasantly thick and already quite hard. I reached up to unbuckle his belt with my other hand, and Mark pushed me away to do it himself. He released his cock from its confines and I gasped in surprise. He was very long. Way longer than any guy I'd ever sucked before. I just stared at him for a moment, studying all the veins, the gentle pulsing, the glistening head.

Mark misunderstood my hesitation. "I warned you."

"Yes, you did....but I'm not surrendering yet!"

I grasped his cock in my hand, working him slowly from base to head, rubbing the slight stickiness around his head with my thumb. I looked up at him and smiled slowly. Holding his gaze, I lowered my mouth down to taste him.

I brushed his slit lightly with my tongue, enjoying his scent and the slight saltiness of his precum. I could feel his thighs tense. I slid my hand along his shaft, amazed by his length, happily just watching him appear and disappear in my hand. He sighed softly and I took that as encouragement.

I leaned closer and guided him towards my mouth, steering the tip of his cock around my lips, just barely wetting him with my tongue. Again, I could feel his legs tremble. I opened my mouth and licked my way all around his head, enjoying the velvety feel of his skin. He twitched in my hand and I licked the same place again, making him gasp. Oooh, I have to remember that spot!

I slid my hand lower and lightly stroked his balls. That earned me a happy sound, low in Mark's throat. I smiled to myself, enjoying the positive feedback. Part of me just wanted to suck him into my mouth and make him cum as fast and hard as possible, but I was enjoying this way too much to rush things. It had been weeks since I'd had a nice hard cock in my mouth, and who knew when that might happen again, especially with such a splendid example.

I shifted to get a bit more comfortable, then hovered over the head of his cock once more. I breathed softly then licked him and breathed again, knowing how his moistened skin would react. Another happy sound. I wrapped my lips around his shaft, just below the rim of his glans, and waited until my mouth got wetter, licking here and there. Then, slowly as I could, I slid down his shaft, wondering how far I could get so soon. I wasn't surprised when my lips barely met the top of my hand, resting snug against his balls. I worked my way back up, pressing my tongue against the pulsing vein on the underside as I squeezed with my hand. That earned me another moan.

I gazed up at Mark's face again and smiled, seeing his head thrown back against the cushions with a slight smile on his lips. I relaxed a little, finally feeling comfortable with him for the first time. This was something I was good at, and I knew it.

I circled his shaft with my fingers and settled in to lick him all over as I worked my fingers up and down, delighted with each sound or shiver I elicited. His slit steadily oozed precum now, and I enjoyed tasting every drop. I began sucking him in earnest, setting a slow but intent pace as my lips slid up and down. Each time I descended I managed to take him a little deeper. Mark's hips began moving in time with my mouth.

The heat in my pussy was pleasantly distracting. Mark felt so good in my mouth and, thanks to his appreciative reactions, he felt just as good in my head. At some point I realized that I was following his lead instead of "doing" him, but that felt good too.

He thrust deeper, almost choking me. That made me moan around him. His fingers wrapped tight in my hair, leaving no question as to who was giving and who was taking. He began talking to me, telling me how much he liked fucking my mouth, telling me to use my tongue "just like that," promising to fill my mouth. I felt a shiver run down my spine. No one had ever talked to me like that before.

My skin flushed with goose bumps, my nipples went hard, and suddenly I wanted desperately to drink his cum. I tightened my lips on his shaft, trying my best to relax in those moments when he would nearly strangle me. My world wound down to nothing more than the feel of his cock in my throat, the need to breathe, and the pounding in my ears, the shifting of my hips in time with his. And his voice, harsh now, talking us both up higher and higher.

He cried out and dug his fingers into my scalp, impaling my throat with his cock. I could feel his shaft pulsing hard against my tongue and I fought to pull up just a little so I could feel him jet into my mouth. He pushed back for a second then seemed to understand and relaxed his grip just enough. Tears burned my eyes, my lungs ached, and just as I felt that first hot stream at the back of my throat I was suddenly thrown into an orgasm of my own. I had never cum from sucking a cock before. I would get very excited but this orgasm was completely unexpected.

I clung to his thighs, reeling at the surprise of being taken so far. Eventually (probably about 30 seconds in reality) being able to breathe became my only focus so I pulled back, holding Mark's softening cock in my mouth, and breathed deeply through my nose. I savored the taste of him and finally, regretfully, pulled away, swallowed his seed and gazed up at his face, smiling drunkenly.

He was flushed, breathing rapidly, his eyes a bit glazed. He became aware of my attention and looked down at me, then reached out to brush a strand of hair from my face. His touch set off a post-orgasmic shiver that brought up more goose bumps. I chuckled and he raised an eyebrow at me in question. His hand slid around my back and helped to guide me up and onto the sofa beside him.

He held me at arms' length for a very long time, just looking at me. Finally, I just whispered "thank you" and he pulled me to him, kissing me long and deeply. It's funny, that was the first time he ever kissed me, but I had this feeling that I'd kissed him before....it was intimate, comfortable and so very right. I made a small happy sound of my own as he ended the kiss and just held me close.

We both jumped when his watch beeped.

He reset the alarm and sighed, then shifted to nudge me back to sitting up again. I just followed his lead and waited, suddenly very unsure of myself.

He cleared his throat several times before he could speak. "Amy, wow....that was incredible. Thank you, too."

I didn't really know what to say, so I just smiled.

"This is wrong," he apologized, "I don't want to chase you out but I have another appointment and I have to go."

I realized our regular session was long over anyway and waved my hands, attempting to show it was okay.

"Listen to me," he continued, taking my hand as we both rose to our feet. "I want to talk to you about this, about....things, but it has to wait. Would you have dinner with me tomorrow?"

I blinked, totally stunned, and momentarily confused. "I....I...sure, that would be great!"

He smiled and nodded. "Meet me here, 6 o'clock, and dress up for a nice place, okay?"

I nodded back, repeated the time and dress code, gathered my books, and prepared to leave.

Mark pulled me close, his hand on my ass, and kissed me softly on the lips.

"I'll see you tomorrow then. Don't be late or you'll be sorry!" he admonished.

I giggled and promised I'd be on time, said goodbye, and floated back to my dorm room.