Black Woman's Guide To Husbands

Hi, there. My name is Joanna Thanes. I'm a big and tall, busty and big-bottomed young black woman living in the city of Boston, Massachusetts. These days, I attend Davidson College, a previously all-female school located in the heart of the city. These days, life simply couldn't be better. I'm doing what I've always wanted. I'm the captain of the Davidson College women's varsity wrestling team. We've had a great season. Still, it's what I do off the mat that makes me happiest.

I was really happy when Davidson College decided to add varsity football to its athletic program. It really boosted male enrollment. That was in 2004. I was a freshman at the time. Two and a half years later, men make up fifty percent of the twenty-three thousand-person student body. I never thought I'd see this, particularly at a school which was all-female from its foundation in 1879 to 1999. The sight of so many young men on the college campus really excited me. I like guys. I like spending time with them. Most of them are cool. And they like me. Back in high school, I was the sole female wrestler on an all-male team and they treated me alright. I chose Davidson College because they had a women's wrestling team.

I never thought Davidson College was on its way to becoming an athletic powerhouse. These days, they offer women's varsity softball, basketball, cross country, soccer, swimming, ice hockey, golf, tennis, rugby, gymnastics, fencing, volleyball and wrestling along with men's varsity baseball, basketball, cross country, soccer, swimming, ice hockey, golf, tennis, rugby, gymnastics, fencing, volleyball, football and wrestling. We compete in the NCAA Division Two. All except the men's and women's varsity ice hockey teams, which compete in the NCAA Division One. I love my campus. My only beef with it? I wish there were more black men around. Unfortunately, black males make up only twenty two percent of the overall student body. That's unfortunate, especially since three out of five female students at the school are of African-American origin.

I needed to get myself a sexy black man. And I had one in my sights. His name was Gregory Berenson. A six-foot-two, big and buff, dark-skinned young black man from the town of Milton, Massachusetts. He recently transferred to Davidson College from Boston University, primarily because he wanted to play football. Boston University lost its football team to budget cuts and collegiate gender politics over a decade ago. This fine black stud was a linebacker on the Davidson College football team and there were lots of females after him. Most of them were white females. And this pissed me off like you would not believe.

If there is one thing I hate, it's the sight of a fine black man walking around with a white woman. Especially one of those blonde bimbos who seem to have so many black males hypnotized. I don't know what black men see in them. White women have never been fond of black men. The number of black men who have been lynched throughout American history because of accusations made by white women is staggering. Yet today's young black men seem oblivious to that. These days, Tyrone and Jamal are bypassing ebony beauties like Shamika and the Lafonda to embrace ivory princesses named Amber and Kelly. What many of them will find out is that Amber and Kelly have no real love for them. I'm not saying every white woman who dates a black man does it for the novelty or just to get attention. I'm sure some of them care about their men. However, many of them don't. They've got black men believing that white women are better than black women. That is a bold-faced lie. What makes me a good woman is my kind heart, my ironclad principles, my stern upbringing and my intelligence. It's got nothing to do with skin color.

Go tell that to the young black men of America. By the droves they're dating white women and turning their backs on black women. And black women aren't exactly helping their case. I admit that many of the black women I'm friends with are angry, bitter and resentful. They carry around a lot of anger passed down from their mothers, aunts and girlfriends. Many of them have a really negative view of black men. This view is imprinted in their consciousness long before they start dating. Likewise, many young black men experience a lot of mistreatment at the hands of these bitter and angry young black women and end up swearing off black females altogether. And white women are all too happy to sweep in and pick up the pieces. At the end of the day, it's the black woman who loses. We need to change our attitudes. Seriously.

I was well aware of these things when I approached Gregory Berenson. We had a class together. Criminal Psychology 201. He majored in psychology and I majored in criminal justice. We sat next to each other, which really helped. I saw it as a sign and moved in for the kill. I was all smiles as I began talking to the brother. Gregory was not used to tall, good-looking black women like myself approaching him. Most of the young black women on campus had a major attitude problem. Unlike the rest of them, I understood you caught more flies with honey. So I was really friendly and polite when talking to Gregory. Now, hold up. Being friendly and polite doesn't mean I appeared submissive in any way. It's not how I roll. I simply showed some respect to the man I was getting to know. Gregory wasn't used to that. I could tell. I knew he'd be mine soon.

We became friends. We would meet at the campus library to study, and sometimes we would hang out at my dormitory. He was really surprised by my taste in music. I loved Linkin Park's deeply existential hits What I've Done, Numb and In The End. I also watched science fiction shows like StarGate on Sci-Fi and awesome dramas like Law & Order : Criminal Intent and Nip/Tuck. I'm not the kind of gal who watches chick flicks or those awful Lifetime TV movies. They're all the same anyway. Gregory was pleasantly surprised. We ended up having a lot of fun together. After a few weeks, I asked him out. How about that? A gal asking out a guy. Gregory was stunned when I asked him to be my man. But he was thrilled and said yes. We've been together ever since. And this, ladies, is how it's done.

Gregory and I stayed together all four years. On June 2008, we graduated from Davidson College with our bachelor's degrees. I enrolled at the all-new Davidson College Law School and he stuck around to get his Ph. D in Psychology. We moved into a nice apartment together in Boston's South End. We're engaged but we're not getting married until after I get my law degree and he gets his Ph. D. We intend to have it all, folks. The successful careers. The big house. And eventually, lots of brats. In time. For now, we've got to work. Fortunately, we both make time to play. All is well that ends well.