Debilitating Disease Pushes Desire

Hi! Let me introduce myself. My name is Rubi. Okay, so it's not my real name...lol...but my real name is not important! "Rubi" is my nickname, and yes my pouty lips really are ruby in color.

Let me tell you more about myself. I am a thirty-two year old woman living in America's Midwest. I am married and love my husband dearly, but I have a disorder. I suffer from PSAS, Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome.

For those of you that don't understand this disorder please let me explain. Pretty much, it is as it sounds. I am horny constantly. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Sounds fun, right? lol It actually can be quite troublesome, to the point of debilitating.

I constantly worry if others know about my little secret or if they can somehow tell. Can they see a growing wet spot on the crotch of my shorts or pants? (Especially when wearing lighter colors or thinner cottons!) Can they smell me? Smell my arousal?

Oftentimes I find myself distracted at work too. I am a receptionist and am around people constantly. Can my coworkers tell? My boss? The clients? I know I blush continuously at work due to my insecurities.

This fear of being noticed, of being found out, isn't my only problem. As I previously mentioned, I love my husband, so please don't get me wrong. Hell, I have been called a slut many times in the past for my sexual appetite, but I cannot control it.

I am always aroused. I am insatiable due to this disease. My husband and I have sex on a regular basis and I masturbate daily, but that is not enough! I've even masturbated at work; sneaking off to the bathroom to plunge my fingers into my sopping pussy or even sneaking a touch at my desk.

I fear my desires are getting out of control! For lack of better words, I feel like a bitch in heat. Is there really a way to control this disease? So far I've not found any.

What's worst, I think, is being "noticed" at the wrong time or wrong situation...having the wrong type of man notice my arousal. One example would be while at work, but I've also feared being raped due to the "mixed signals" my body produces. All in all, I fear my wetness, since it could be misleading...

Is this silly? Stupid?

Has anyone else ever experienced this before? Men, have your ladies ever suffered from PSAS that you know of? Do you now suspect after reading this? I'd love to hear from you. Though the disease is supposed to be more common that most realize, I think it is still difficult to document or make public. I doubt there are any "support groups", etc., out there.

Frankly, I laughed when my gynecologist told me I had Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome years ago. I thought he was a pervert or making an inappropriate pass at me. But at the same time I felt that familiar tingle deep within my loins. I was embarrassed because I was turned on during my pelvic exam and what I thought was far too forward language on my doctor's part.

I don't remember a time when any gynecologist (with moving to new cities or having a change in insurance coverage I've not had the same doctor since I fist started getting exams) really needed the goopy KY Jelly they always slop onto their fingers or equipment. I've always been plenty wet for them.

It's embarrassing. Really it is, especially when the doctor has been male. I mean, what did they think when they saw me? I know my wetness would have been obvious, and probably dripping, before they touched me. They would have seen that the usage of KY was not necessary!

I have no idea if there is anything I can do to control this. I really feel like a bitch in heat, unable to control my urges. My body speaks in volumes and is much louder than my true voice. I fear I will one day get myself into more trouble than I can handle, and on this double edged sword I am equally turned on by the idea.

PSAS is a slippery slope. My libido is in charge. I am being driven solely by desire and uncontrollable sexual urges and I am losing control more and more each day. I fear my husband will discover soon that he is not enough to satisfy me...

Sorry this ad was a long one. lol I thank you for listening, or reading as it were. I look forward to receiving feedback. I am longing to hear from you. My pussy drips...