I Will Not Bow

Brother Samuel here. The most controversial writer in the history of online erotica. I'm a big and tall, openly bisexual young Black man of Haitian descent living in the Bird's Nest area of Ottawa, Ontario. Way down in the Confederation of Canada. I'm new in town and I hate it already. Canadians of all colors are such fakes and flakes. Especially those I'm related to.

Man, my family is simply insane. Doesn't matter which branch of them I'm dealing with. How in hell can people be this way? Must be something in the blood. Such malevolence doesn't happen by accident. Male and female alike, they're all messed up. It seems my family is exclusively made up of sociopaths, man-haters, racists who hate their own, and other nutcases. I came to Canada with my degree in Criminal Justice from a Boston-area college. Along with my published novels. To start a new life. I walked away from my old life in the great city of Brockton, Massachusetts. Some aspects of it I miss, some I don't. 　 　

What do I miss about Brockton? I miss my friends, like John Dinga a fifty-something wise man from Cameroon who's been my mentor and father figure for the better part of a decade. He's really cool. Welcomed me into his life when I didn't have anybody. My uncle Leo and my aunt Gina are among the most despicable people I've ever known. I lived in their house for a decade, a house they bought with the help of my parents, Frank and Helen. They treated me like crap. My aunt Gina is a sociopath.

Very charming when you first meet her but really evil and manipulative when you get to know her better. My uncle Leo isn't much better. He's a passive-aggressive bastard. That's part of the reason why I was so eager to leave the city of Brockton. Not that Ottawa is treating me much better. At least in Brockton I had some friends. At the Brockton Community Library, I had my pals. I could see my published novels on the shelves, perks of being a celebrated local author. In Ottawa, I'm nobody. And I don't like it. 　 　 To add insult to injury, a massive earthquake hit Haiti in January. Many thousands of Haitians died. The international community is currently helping with relief and eventual reconstruction efforts. Ironically, it's the Canadian government which has been at the forefront of efforts to help Haitians in our time of need. It brought a smile to the face of this cynic, folks.

I hope things turn out okay for my Haitian brothers and sisters. I really do. When the quakes hit, I called home and couldn't reach anybody. My parents live in the city of Cap Haitien, far from the quake-ravaged capital. I wanted to hear their voices. Make sure they were okay. As it turns out, they were alright but I couldn't reach them for days. These were among the worst days of my life. Loneliest days of this brother's life. 　 　 The members of my family who live in Canada are absolutely despicable. In times of disaster, people show you their best sides and their worst sides. Well, while cut off from my parents, I saw the true colors of my family members. They're nothing but parasites. Take my cousin Sharon for example. She's around thirty, very dark-skinned, and has been in Canada all of her life.

In this country where you can basically go to college for free and where the government sends you a check to help you in your time of need. If I grew up in Canada instead of America, I would be so much further along in my life and my career right now. I'd be a top notch lawyer or something. Yet Sharon has squandered all of the gifts this country has given her. She's got three brats by three different white men. All three men are dead beats, by the way. A lot of Black women out there reject Black men and only date white guys because they think white guys are better and will treat them nicely. What a load of crap. Last time I checked, bad guys come in all colors.

After numerous failed relationships with guys of all colors, Sharon ended up with a light-skinned Black lesbian. A butch chick named Myra. The funny thing is that Myra might be a pre-op transsexual. She's very masculine, dresses like a guy, and has been reading a lot of female-to-male transsexual literature lately. She's also been watching a lot of that stuff on television. I'm almost completely indifferent except that I find it kind of funny.

After failed relations with guys of all colors, Sharon sought refuge in a lesbian relationship. And the woman she's with actually wants to become a guy. I find it wickedly funny, and also kind of sad. I'm staying in the basement of their apartment, which they rent using money which the government of Canada sends Sharon because she's a single mom. She doesn't have a job. She relies exclusively on the Canadian government's checks and her lesbian partner's income to make ends meet. And now she's got me. Sharon's charging me two hundred bucks a month to stay in her basement. She's also foul-mouthed and hot-tempered. Makes her the nicest landlord ever. 　 　 　 Folks, I don't plan on staying long in my twisted cousin Sharon's basement. I'm going to get my own place as soon as I can. I can't stand that witch, her weird 'partner' and the shit that goes on in that house. Now, I'm not homophobic. I'm bisexual myself. I've dated both women and men, so I could care less if my cousin is queer. However, the way she lives, the way she treats people, all that stuns me. I can't deal with that kind of madness, man.

I think Sharon is a sociopath. I used to think all sociopaths were smart, ambitious and ruthlessly driven. I thought all sociopaths wanted to rule the world. Like Adolf Hitler, Margaret Thatcher or Stalin. As it turns out, I was wrong. Some sociopaths are perfectly content to sit around doing nothing. Like my cousin Sharon. She is lazy and lives off the Canadian government's generosity. Sounds like an insane way to live. At least to me. She feeds off her partner Myra and she feeds off the system. And now she wants to feed on me. Having recognized what she is and what she's up to, I'm giving her a wide berth. 　 　 　 It's not going to be easy but somehow, I'm going to build a new life for myself in Canada. First things first, though. I need a new place to stay. I can't stay in my cousin's basement anymore. She's evil and insane. And she uses people. I need my own little place. Also, I need a new job. I've done odd jobs here and there, but I want something more steady. My writing is going good. It's the one thing that's going alright for me. I've written two books in the two months I've been in Canada.

The first one introduces a unique voice to African-American Literature and Horror. The chronicles of a bisexual male werewolf of African descent roaming over all of North America as he searches for others like him. The second novel is part historical fiction, part fantasy novel. The world of twenty-first century Earth, seen through the eyes of a time-traveling ancient African deity. I hope folks will like them. For now, they're what keeps me going. I live in a mad world, folks. 　 　 　 Who knows? Maybe someday I'll look back on all this and laugh. Or cry. Whatever. All I know is that my life has been hell for the past ten years. I'm very close to putting it back together now. So close. I don't want anything to come along and fuck it up. I'm going to get my own place. Get back to school. Contribute to society. Have a normal life.

I think I can do well in Canada, if I play my cards right. There are many obstacles in my way but I'm a Haitian man. We're a resilient bunch. I will survive. Even though my family members living in Canada are parasites and they'll stop at nothing to make my life pure hell. I will not bow to them. They will not break my will. Trust me on that one. Battling sociopaths is nothing new to me. Wish me luck, folks. It ain't going to be easy. I'm out of here.