It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Shaun lies on the mattress, seeing nothing but a warm red haze behind his closed eyelids. Somewhere off to the right of him, a woman with a lot of enthusiasm but not much vocabulary moans out, "Oh, fuck, oh FUCK, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh FUCK!" over and over and over again as her partner does something extremely perverted to her body. He doesn't wonder what's happening to her. He doesn't really feel much like thinking at all. There's a certain timelessness to this moment, a dreamy peace that fills both mind and body and leaves him completely content. His body is utterly sated, his thoughts totally still; he simply luxuriates in the warm feeling of the perfect body held tightly against his own and lets everything go but that.

Slowly, thoughts and memories return to him. He regains enough will to gently play with Judi's nipple, rubbing his finger against the very tip and feeling a warm surge of happiness at her sleepy sighs of pleasure. His thoughts drift back, from the mattress to the bed to the massage table to the elevator all the way up to the hotel room.

Shaun blissfully replays it all in his mind from the beginning.

*****

It wasn't the beginning, of course. It wasn't even the first day of the convention. But when Shaun returned to the hotel room with Judi, he knew it was the beginning of something, even if he wasn't sure what. He could feel something stirring inside him...a desire, not just for sex but for submission as well, that almost scared him with its intensity. It had been a long time since he'd felt nervous about it like that--he'd been Judi's "pet" (she never really liked the term "slave") for years, now, and he liked to think that submission felt natural and comfortable to him. When she'd suggested coming to a kink convention, he hadn't really thought it would be anything more than just an interesting and fun way to spend a weekend. They'd agreed on boundaries--no public nudity, at least none for him, and no public play. But now, after a couple of days at the convention, he felt like he wanted to give her something more of himself--a deeper level of obedience than ever before. Something like the things he'd seen over the last few hours.

Judi had sent him out of the room while she gave one of her other pets some much-needed private attention, and he'd spent the time wandering through the open "play spaces" set aside for attendees. He'd wandered in a daze, feeling as though he was watching more than just sex--they were the same actions that he'd seen on pornographic websites time and time again, but seeing real people perform them with passion and genuine devotion to each other gave the actions more meaning, more power. They'd seemed joyful in a way he'd never seen before, not just erotic but actually beautiful and loving. Shaun hadn't been able to bring himself to join in, even though he had Judi's permission--he didn't know how to begin asking two other people (or three, or four, or in a few fairly spectacular instances even more) if he could participate in their uninhibited BDSM play--but he'd watched from a respectful distance. And as he'd watched, he'd wondered, and as he'd wondered, he'd imagined, and by the time Judi had found him and brought him back to the hotel room, Shaun was filled with a desire to do things he'd never thought of before tonight.

Shaun didn't know how to explain it all to Judi, though. He just stared at her, imagining what it would be like to gaze into her eyes down there in the play space, to let his mind sink into a deep hypnotic trance and hear her command him to strip naked in front of all those strangers. He imagined knowing--really knowing, deep down in his heart--just how much power she had over him as he helplessly obeyed. He felt his cock stiffening inside his pants at the thought.

She looked over to the bed, where her other pets had already fallen asleep. A few hours ago, Shaun was just about ready to join them, but the sexual energy that filled him had burned away all the exhaustion he'd felt just a little bit ago. When he'd left the hotel room, all he could think about was getting back inside and collapsing onto the bed. Now, all he wanted to do was go back downstairs with Judi.

She turned back to him and smiled. "Go into the bathroom," she said quietly, "and grab the paper bag with the massage oils in it." He saw it, then, a light in her eyes that he knew matched his own. It was well after midnight, but Judi wasn't tired either. Shaun just about raced into the hotel bathroom to get the bag.

He stepped back out to find her putting a few items into a backpack. She slung it over her shoulder, then reached over to the counter and picked up a leash. "Come on," she said, clipping it onto the bracelet he wore around his wrist. "Let's go for a little walk." Shaun sighed contentedly as he felt it click into place--the collar he wore around his neck was just for show, here at the convention where people placed store in such displays. The tiny bracelet around his wrist, scarcely recognizable as a collar unless you looked closely enough to notice the tiny metal loop where a leash could be attached...that was his true collar. That was the one he wore always, even at work or with friends and family. That was the sign of his total and permanent devotion to his Mistress, and it felt right that the leash should be put on him there instead of on the more obvious collar around his neck.

They carefully closed the door behind them as they stepped out into the hallway, so as not to wake the others. Shaun took Judi's hand in his own, feeling the leash in her grip and her warm, soft flesh around it. He never got tired of the touch of her skin; it was practically an addiction for him. "Do you know why I asked you to come along with me to this convention?" Judi said as they headed towards the elevator.

"Um..." It was already getting a little bit hard to think. Shaun felt like he was already beginning to slip into a trance simply from the atmosphere. Something about the walk felt like a ritual, like a procession of two heading with measured steps down towards some great temple dedicated to submission, with Judi as a priestess leading a supplicant to worship. He felt like he'd slipped into a dream. "No, I don't," he said quietly. Even the care they were taking not to wake residents of the other rooms gave the whole thing a church-like hush.

"I asked Daniel to come along because he needed my care," she said, "and Kat came along because she had something she needed to explore." She gave the leash an affectionate tug. "And you are here for me. You're here because you don't need anything except to serve me. Whatever I need, you can be there for me, completely and without reservations. That's your gift...and I wanted to let you know how important that gift is to me. Always."

"Yours," Shaun said. That word said so much between them, a summation of the bonds of love, friendship and ownership that tied them together tighter than any wedding ring ever could. He didn't just love Judi, he belonged to her. He was hers.

"Mine," she whispered back as she pressed the elevator button. "And I'm keeping you."

Shaun smiled as the elevator doors opened. The elevator was empty, no real surprise at this time of night. The two of them got inside and pressed the lobby button.

"So," Judi said, "we're going to go down to the play space now, and we're going to find a massage table. I'm going to take my clothes off, and let you give me a full-body massage just like you've been wanting to. And then I'm going to let you eat my pussy, right there in front of everyone. You don't have to take your clothes off, and you don't have to do anything else."

The boundaries they'd negotiated so carefully now seemed distant and unimportant, but Shaun still didn't know how he was going to express the desires that the evening had stirred up inside him; it was almost as much of a surprise to him as it was to Judi when he said "Can I?" in a tiny voice.

But she must have known what kind of thoughts led him to say it, because she hugged him tightly and whispered in his ear, "Of course." She kissed him on the lips. "And I love the way you begged without even saying 'please' just now."

As always, as soon as he'd processed the thought that she was pleased with him, he felt a warm blanket of pleasure descend onto his mind that stayed with him all the way through their walk across the lobby to the other set of elevators that took them to the lower levels of the hotel. Obedience is pleasure. The first command she'd ever instilled in his mind, and the one that had sunk deepest. He had pleased his Mistress. He had obeyed. Years of hypnosis made the connection with pleasure almost instantaneous.

They descended the second set of elevators in silence, anticipation making it difficult for either of them to speak. Shaun just focused on the nearness of her, the physical pleasure of her touch, and let his mind sink deeper into the reverent trance he'd started to feel as soon as he'd left the hotel room. He wasn't hypnotized yet, he knew. She could still send him so much deeper with a word, a touch, or just a look. But he wasn't awake, either. He was lost in the moment, and he didn't want to be found.

The elevator doors opened onto a very different view from the one they'd left behind. It was as though they'd traveled into a different world as they showed their badges to the volunteer and turned the corner. Here, in the safe space established by the convention, clothing was simply one of many options. People walked around in latex, in leather, in cunning costumes that exposed breasts and nipples and buttocks and cocks and pussies or simply in nothing at all. There was no sex--that was reserved for the play spaces--but Shaun still felt the sexually-charged atmosphere even in the everyday conversations he walked past.

But they hadn't come down here for conversation. Judi led him swiftly through the open area into the play space. During the day, these rooms had been closed off into orderly little classrooms, each one filled with tidy rows of chairs where attendees could sit and listen to seminars on proper flogging technique and how to tie a perfect knot for a bondage session. But now, the area had been transformed completely. The rows of chairs had been replaced by a profusion of mattresses, couches, cushions and pillows for people to lie on, and the doors of each room had been thrown open to the next. A stereo played bumping, grinding music in the background--not loud enough to drown out the moans and sighs of the sex, but enough to give the back of Shaun's mind a rhythm to move to.

Judi led him deeper in, from one room to the next. Between the half-light and the floating sensation of his trance, Shaun felt almost as though he were swimming. Each time they stepped into another room, it felt as though he'd dived deeper down into a sea of sexual bliss, seeking some unimaginable fathoms of submission. It seemed like with every room, the couples around them became more uninhibited, moving from kissing to touching to licking to fucking as they headed deeper into the play space. The cushions and mattresses were joined by fuckswings and stirrups, the couples became triples and quadruples.

Finally, just one room away from the very back, Judi spotted the massage table, right next to a woman in stirrups being enthusiastically fucked by two other women with a large dildo. Judi stopped briefly at a cleaning station to pick up a long sheet of paper, then led him to the table. She spread the sheet out over the table, then turned to him.

He drank in the sight of her disrobing, his cock hardening completely inside his pants as he watched. She took the purple shawl off of her shoulders and let it pool down onto the ground. Then she undid the purple sash around her waist, letting her dress billow out as she set it down as well. She smiled at him, knowing exactly what the momentary pause was doing to him as she finally eased herself out of the dress.

Underneath, she wore black satin lingerie, and Shaun shivered in delight at the sight of her. He ached to help her out of it, but somehow without even speaking, they both knew that this was part of the ritual as she pulled the top off to reveal her breasts, then slowly slid the panties down to the floor. She picked them up for a moment and dangled them in front of his face to let him inhale the scent of her arousal.

"Green," he whispered, realizing almost before he said it that it was a post-hypnotic command. He couldn't hide it from her when she found something that turned him on; the word would just slip out and let her know that he didn't want her to stop. He never knew he'd be turned on by the smell of her panties, but his subconscious knew that the mixed scents of silk and pussyjuice were driving him wild and it needed to let her know.

"Good boy," she whispered, dropping the panties to the floor and climbing onto the massage table. "My good boy."

"Thank you, my Lady," Shaun whispered. He knew that some of Judi's other pets called her "Goddess," but he'd always wanted to celebrate her humanity. He liked the thought of her being a courtly Lady, granting her favors to him when he proved worthy--and he always wanted to prove worthy to her, because obedience was pleasure and pleasure was obedience...Shaun realized he was shaking with desire. "May I please touch you now, my Lady?"

She smiled indulgently as she lay face-down on the table, enjoying the pleading tones of the request even as they both knew she'd grant it. "You may, pet."

He sighed, pressing his hands to her flesh and feeling her warmth. Even as he did so, he knew hands wouldn't be enough and he began to kiss her, working his way down her back to the soft curves of her ass and planting soft, trembling kisses. His tongue slipped out, wanting to taste her body, wanting to worship her and never get enough as he kissed and licked all the way down to her toes. He felt dizzy with need as he kissed and licked the soles of her feet, feeling a devotion to her so complete that he wanted to lavish it onto every inch of her.

It was hard to tear himself away, but he knew his duty. Shaun reached into the bag and pulled out a small bottle of massage oil. He opened it up, letting the rich scent of coconut fill the air, and poured just a tiny amount onto Judi's back.

Behind them, the woman in the stirrups moaned and grunted in ecstasy, but Judi's tiny sighs of happiness somehow seemed clearer to Shaun's ears as he massaged the oil into her back. Her skin glistened now as he worked her flesh with his fingers, slowly and carefully spreading it over as much of her body as he could before dabbing a little more on and proceeding further. He massaged the oil into her ass with devoted care--he'd always thought of himself as a breast-lover, but somehow it always seemed different with Judi's body. He always seemed to find new parts of her to admire every time he looked--and touched and tasted and stroked and kissed and...

He put a little too much oil on her feet, but somehow it just seemed right the way they shone and gleamed under the soft lights. He felt like he could rub them for hours, and on some occasions he had. But there were so many parts of his Lady that needed attention, and so while one hand rubbed the slick and shiny skin of the soles of her feet, the other hand found its way into the perfect triangle at the top of her thighs, where they met her ass. His questing fingers slid down, feeling the heat radiating from Judi's pussy. He didn't even need to touch it to know how turned on she was by all this.

She took a long, shuddering breath as she felt the nearness of his hand. Shaun didn't know how long he'd been massaging her. Time had stopped meaning anything to either of them. But she said, "I think...it's time to move to someplace a bit more comfortable," and his cock agreed for him.

"Go get some paper towels to clean off the oil," she said, and he moved quickly to comply. After a few minutes of soaking up the excess oil, she was ready to step off the table, and from there it was just the work of a moment to clean the table off completely. She gathered up her things, and the two of them headed that last little distance into the very heart of the play space.

She led him over to the corner, and looked into his eyes. "Down," she whispered, and Shaun felt his mind still even more as he sank into deeper trance. "Good boy," she said. "I want you to take your clothes off, now."

It felt like everything he'd hoped for as he complied. Even if the other people in the room were probably too involved in their own private fantasies to pay much attention to a relatively unremarkable man taking his clothes off, Shaun felt like all eyes were on him as he pulled off his socks and shoes, then slipped his shirt over his shoulders. He knew he was helpless to disobey, and that knowledge made his cock so hard that it practically sprang up as he slipped his pants down to the ground. He wore no underwear. She had commanded him not to.

"Good boy," she said again, taking his cock into her hands just long enough to watch the shiver of joy cross his face. She set another sheet of paper down for him. "Lie down." Shaun obeyed, lying on the small bed that was pressed up against the wall and once again drinking in the sight of her as she leaned over him. In the background, he absently noted that the stereo was playing a favorite song of his, 'Master and Servant' by Depeche Mode, and he and Judi shared a private grin before he sank even deeper.

She leaned even closer, letting her long hair brush over his cock for just a moment as she trailed it up his body to his face. "Green!" he gasped out at the feel of it, and her smile was magnificent to behold.

She finally leaned right over his face, her hair forming a halo around her as it brushed his sensitive skin. "Deeper and deeper," she said, locking eyes with him.

"Deeper and deeper," he responded helplessly, years of mantras making his words automatic.

"Good boy," she said. She grasped his hands and pulled them up over his head. "Your mind is bound."

"My mind is bound," he whispered reverently in response.

He felt her looping the leash around his wrists, then tying it into a loose knot. She reached down and picked up the sash from her dress, tying it loosely around the ankles. "Your body is bound."

"My body is bound." The knots didn't need to be tight. Shaun knew that her words and her spell held him tighter than any ropes ever could.

She reached into her bag and pulled out a small device attached to a pair of mirrored sunglasses. She slid the glasses over his eyes, and pressed a button. Shaun's eyelids slammed shut as a wall of dazzling light bombarded him. He knew this machine so well--how many hours had he spent staring into the endless patterns of lights through closed eyes as she had whispered her programming into his mind? He didn't need to remember. No matter how often it had been, he always wanted more. "You are my deeply hypnotized, deeply brainwashed tranceslut," she cooed into his ears.

He responded in vacant tones as his trance deepened, "I am your deeply hypnotized, deeply brainwashed tranceslut." He barely had a chance to finish the words before she draped her panties over his face, still damp with her juices. Now he was completely gone. Every sense was lost in pleasure--he heard her voice, he smelled and tasted her scent, he stared into the swirling lights, he felt the bonds holding him tightly. His body sagged onto the bed as he gave in even more to the hypnotic spell.

"I'll be back in a moment," she said. He nodded, but he'd lost track of time completely by the time she returned. It could have been an instant, it could have been an hour before she returned to his side and rolled him over onto his hip. All he knew was that one moment, he was alone, then the next, she was stroking and petting his skin. He whimpered in pleasure.