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  • My Life, My Mother Ch. 02

My Life, My Mother Ch. 02

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My Life - My Mother, the morning after-coming to terms with..

*

I woke up don't know why, long before it was light but remained in the bed thinking about the tumultuous events of last night. I was not able to hold on to a line of thought; I was going through a mental chaos. Guilt was overpowering yet I couldn't deny that pleasure too was something t I never felt before. I confessed to myself that it was me who forced her on a path of debauchery; I made her commit a sin unthinkable in the society, she had no part in the act.

I dosed off trying to sort out the intermingled lines of my thought and woke up to shaking of the bed. I was lying facing the window, with my back towards amma. By the movements I sensed that she is trying to sit up. Mom switched on the bed side lamp and I saw her, in the mirror on the wall, sitting with her back on the headboard holding her hands on to her face. I saw tears streaming down her cheek. In between her sobs she was chanting Oh Lord! Oh My God! and truly so. What happened was quite out of ordinary.

I felt terrible. Not having a clue as to how I shall react I stayed still. I looked up again into the mirror and LO! Once again, animal in me started to raise its head. This time I was greeted with view of her ample bosom, just above the nipples. God it was a site to behold. I played with those globes just few hours back, but seeing them in light was different.

When she was holding her hands on to her face, her arms obscured the view, but as she wiped her eyes and let arms drop to sides her magnificent bust came into my view. They were swollen like they are still full and were round in shape. Surprisingly, her breasts did not sag a lot and retained their shape. Her breasts were in no way like what most Indian women of her age have. They are big & shapely and held their shape , though without bra, they still formed a delightful cleavage.

I was soaking the view. Mom sitting with her head thrown back, her beautiful neck stretched her breasts heaving slightly due to her hard breathing was a picture that I will carry to my funeral. Her bare rounded shoulders her raised chin GOD ALMIGHTY! Everything was sooooooo...o very perfect.

Then she raised her arm to the back of her head, sat upright and started to tie her hair. She looked at me, and didn't I see her smile? Yes she was smiling looking at me. I was engrossed in the million dollar smile when I felt her hand on my shaved head. She lovingly ran her fingers on my scalp, caressed my cheek and I heard her say 'yeh tuney kya kar dala mere bachche'(Why have you made me do this my darling ).

In the mirror I saw her leaning on to me. I closed my eyes and laid still feigning sleep. I felt her hot breath on my neck. She placed her lips on my left temple and held it there for a long time. All this while, she kept on caressing my bald head.

Bed jostled and shook by her weight and suggested that she is making a move, I opened my eyes to see but she had already left the bed and moved out of my vision.

I strained to listen, to get a fix on her location. I heard the bathroom door open and close. Relieved that she had gone inside the bathroom I opened my eyes and was about to turn when she suddenly appeared before me.

I hurriedly closed my eyes and then opened slightly to see. She walked on my side of the bed and picked her night dress that I threw last night. Holding the garment to her chest she went and stood before the mirror looking at her naked form with her back towards me.

Sight was maddening, mom in her full naked glory. I had her back directly in front and saw her front in the mirror. She tossed the garment on the bed and looked at her self. She turned sideways and looked into the mirror over her shoulder. She repeated the move to appreciate her left and right profile. Then brought her hands over her breasts, held them from underneath, lifted them slightly and jiggled a bit. OH MY! almost came under the sheet. She kept on lovingly caressing and admiring her body, probably feeling proud, that she still got the charms to entice and enamour some one as young as her own son.

She backed up looking at the mirror attempting to get her full body in the mirror. She backed up closer to me, close enough for me to enjoy her erotic aroma. Fragrances of her body were a mix of her sweat and her body fluids and it was intoxicating.

Day light permeated the room, through thick drapes giving her body a divine glow. For few seconds I just forgot the world around and kept looking at my deity. I admired back of her legs and thighs, they were spotlessly fair, fleshy and appeared soft. Her arse flared below her waist with ample cheeks that jiggled and jostled with every motion.

I noticed that her pudendum is big and protruded out. Her Pussy was thick and appeared to have been pushed out, pink of her clitoris barely visible between her immensely thick labia. Her mound was big and rising; projection of her swollen mound was so very erotic. Her pussy was equally fair as the area around, which is quite unusual, as mostly vagina of even fairer women are some what darker in colour. God mom is an unusual woman I came to realise.

I realised that here is my beloved mother who is incarnation of Rati(Wife of Kamdeo, God of love and passion in Hindu Theology) herself . Her body was everything man ever dreamt of. Soft flowing curves, tall stout legs, shapely breasts and wide pitcher like arse, well what more a man can ask for, best was her prominent mound, which I hadn't seen even in those porn sites. Her midriff was fleshy, bulging and drooping a little but not ungainly so, it rather gave her form a matronly appeal.

I was lost, appreciating her carnatic avatar, when she bent to pick her discarded night dress from the bed. As she bent her buttocks tightened and her crack parted little giving me a flash of her pussy from behind. My dick was full mast by now and I desperately wanted a release. I was about to getup and make love to her right then and there. However, before I could bring my thought to a conclusion she slipped her dress over her head and walked away

Bathroom door closed but, I waited till I heard water running. I got up and dressed in my shorts and T-shirt. Dressed and mom out of site the reality fell on me. My mind was getting numb thinking and swinging between my desire and morality. I just shook the thoughts away and opened the door to get the morning paper from the basket. I ordered breakfast and sat down giving a cursory look on the headlines. Weather man said that cold wave continues over north and surprisingly I wasn't elated. Thought of getting stranded was not as pleasuring as it was just a night before and I wondered why. Then I realized that this coldness that has crept between me and mom after that fiery lovemaking is too much to bear and I wanted to end it.

Bathroom opened and mom came out in just her bra and petticoat. With out acknowledging my presence, she went to the luggage rack and pulled out a saree from her suitcase, she stood still for a while and then put the saree back and pulled out a long lose linen kurta(A garment like that of a lose fitting shirt with lose wide sleeves, worn by men and women alike) and a lose flannel pyjamas. I seldom saw her wearing it at home, except for when she is carrying bed tea for her and papa in the morning. Her tall form looked majestic and overpowering. I didn't have the courage to look up to her so observed her slyly through the corner of my eyes.

Suddenly this tension became overpowering and I got up and rushed to the bathroom. Inside the bathroom I realised that my dick has shrunk and I wasn't feeling aroused anymore. Unable to sort out my state of mind I went about my business. I heard her calling room service and asking for morning paper and some magazines in Hindi. (She just knows passable English). I entered the bath and let chilly water flow down my body till I was shivering and numb.

Got dressed in fresh pair of shorts and T and stepped out. Breakfast was there and mom was poring tea. Unsure of my own self I called up housekeeping for laundry service and sat down on recliner by the window. I moved the drapes a to get a glimpse outside. Our room was overlooking the pool. I listlessly watched kids splashing.

When called by mom to join, I sat across her and looked straight into her eyes. She avoided my gaze and pushed a plate of sandwiches towards me. I took it and started eating. All along the breakfast when ever I tried to look into her to find out about her point of view, she avoided eye contact. But I had this eerie feeling that when I am not watching she was looking at me. Breakfast ended at the same tense note at which it started.

Just as I was leaving the table laundry man arrived I gave him the bag and asked, 'Amma do you have some thing more to get laundered?'

'No' was all she said and just as he was to leave she came and dug in to her suitcase, pulled out two nightie and stuffed in the bag.

Just as the laundry man left the room cleaning maid arrived, I was relieved that I now will get a little more time to sort out my next course of action.

Maid went about her business quietly. After she was done vacuuming the room she got a fresh pair of sheets from the trolley and pulled the soiled ones off the bed. I was looking at her casually when I noticed she raised a large stained spot to her nose. I just turned the other way and was embarrassed to hell. I kept looking down at the pool when I heard her say something to mother in Kannada (vernacular language). I turned to look at her when I heard her say in broken Hindi and in low tone 'May lord Ayappa blesses you both with many such nights' saying this she raised the soiled sheet to show my mother that big stain. Mom got scared, she thought that maid understood what happened preceding night, the immediately got up pulled a 500 Rupee note and gave her, trying to oblige her so that she stays quiet and doesn't discuss amongst her co-workers. She raised the note to her forehead and said 'may you both be blessed' and left.

Mom turned towards me and was flushed beet red from ear to ear. Throwing everything to air I rushed to her and held her by her shoulders. She looked up into my eyes and then lowered her gaze to the floor. I hugged her tight and she sobbed. I couldn't speak any word of consolation, as there were none, just held her to my heart.

I walked her to the bed and made her sit down with her back resting on the head board and sat before her. I couldn't look into her straight. 'Why did you do this to me, were you harbouring lust for a long time and waiting for a chance or my behaviour triggered the catastrophe?'

I kept looking the other way , she reached for my shoulder and turned me to face her 'tell me son a lot needs to be talked about what happened last night?' Bugged by my silence she shook me violently 'Talk to me son, please, I am devastated, it affects us both?'

'Amma, I never thought of you as a sexual being till the evening you were having shower and asked for your nightdress....' I told her entire story of my slide from virtues. Coming to know the reason she got on to a self condemning trip and started weeping.

'Amma site was a trigger no doubt, but you cannot hold your self guilty for whatever happened. You did try to avoid but you too are human and succumbed to the desires of your body.'

With a sigh she continued ' Chinu a moment of weakness has made me lose everything. Oh God! How could I let this happen' she lamented between her sobs. 'I lost my stature in the eyes of my own son. I am not the person you revered and respected, from this day onwards, to you I am a wanton women who couldn't keep her legs together even at this age.'

'Amma please, I love you even more, and you must understand love cannot exist without respect. You have turned into a Deity, to whom I shall offer my respect, love and if the need be life. I wasn't looking forward to have carnal relations with my own mother, it happened nevertheless. It was destiny, we may take it the way it comes or would be dragged into it kicking and crying, whichever way but rest assured destiny will take its course.'

She stopped weeping, looked at me with a surprised look 'Are you trying to convince me that whatever happened was right and We should continue with this act of sin hiding behind the destiny and justify our carnal desire?'

'Amma it is not for me or you to judge whether it was right or wrong. It just happened and I do not feel even a wisp of regret or disappointment. Look at yourself, you too tried to resist but some how as your conscious self was pushed aside by something deep down inside, you rode the wave to your own fulfilment. Amma accept it or not but you too had a void which you in your conscious state of mind did not know existed.'

'Amma look into my eyes and tell me you hate me for happened and that you do not want it to continue. Swear by me amma and I will never ever bother you. However I will keep your image in my soul as my carnal deity yet would never ask you for sexual favours. Tell me amma.' I myself wept without knowing.

She looked at me with those big deep eyes and murmured 'Oh! My God!' she continued to look at me in a trance like state, as if she was looking beyond my physical self. I left my place to sit next to her. She scooted, to accommodate me, I put my arm around her and pulled her to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and snaked her arm across my chest to hold me. As I caressed her face she let out a moan and tried to bury her face in me. She stopped sobbing and just clung to me.

I sat holding her for a long time enjoying the bliss. I was feeling what I never felt before. It wasn't lust, wasn't love either, till date I couldn't fathom what was it. It was something divine, there wasn't any confusion of guilt and desire anymore, things were crystal clear to me that I now have a divine duty to worship and love Amma.

I felt being carried into the relationship with every other aspect of our worldly relation seizing to exist, yet, the respect and her stature as mother stayed. Holding her to me and feeling her breasts pressing into my sides did give me an erotic feeling and I was aroused but the feeling of her being my mother was there too. I will be in the similar physical state with any other women but the emotional feelings I felt would never be there. It is difficult to sort it out but one thing was for sure that I never felt the same for any other human.

I am going to love and worship this Goddess in the form of my mother and not in any other form.

I brushed her lips with my thumb and felt her lips quiver to my touch, I gently pried open her lower lip and pushed little of my thumb to her. Amazingly her upper lip closed on my thumb in attempt to a passive kiss.

I held her chin and lifted it up, now she was looking straight into my eyes with her lips partly open in anticipation of my next move. I did not shy away from her gaze and looking directly into her lowered my mouth on hers.

She shivered at the first touch, and as I snaked my tongue in to her mouth she welcomed me inside without hesitation and tightened her hold on me. We kept kissing she did not resist , she was not duelling boldly though. She coyly toyed with my lips with her tongue and sometimes just gently held my lower lip between hers.

This game of coy loving and kissing continued till I started to undo buttons of her Kurta (a lose fitting shirt). She froze; every muscle in her body came taut. I left my hands where they were, on top of her breasts, and waited. After few moments I felt her relaxing, just a bit, then I undid her buttons quickly and started to caress top of her breasts with my fingertips.

She tightened her hold on my shoulders and snaked her right arm behind my back to hold me in a hug.

I let my hand go down her front, gently fondling and caressing her breasts. Feel of fine linen of her Kurta was doubling the pleasure. I reached for her soft belly and caressed it, toying with her belly button from above the garment. Then I went further down to reach inside the garment from below. It was stuck under her arse, I tugged twice but to no avail, she gently raised her hips to facilitate my moves. As she rose I bunched the garment free from underneath and pushed my hands under. As my fingers touched her naked flesh she shivered and let out a moan and a long hiss. I played my fingers on her soft smooth belly and teased her belly button. I kept moving my hand upwards till it touched her mounds.

Once again her body stiffened yet there was no resistance, neither active nor passive, her moans and hisses were only sound she made and her hold on me remained tight and snug. I moved my hands on top of her bra clad breasts and gently squeezed each one of them. Encased in a cotton bra they were taut and felt heavy.

I kissed her full on her mouth and pushed my tongue inside and at the same time reached for her back and snapped the hooks open in a swift move. She gasped but continued playing with my tongue.

I brought my hands forward, freed her mounds and started to squeeze and caress them. I gently held her nipple between my thumb and index finger and gave it a soft rub. She let out an oh...maa! and sank lower till she was on her back with her shoulders resting high on piled pillows. I scooted to lie next to her propped on my elbow. I was looking into her face our eyes met and she closed hers.

I tried taking off her Kurta, she held her hands up to release the sleeves. As I pulled it off over her head she crossed her arms across her chest to hide her wondrous mounds. I moved on to kiss her and at the same time pried her arms away to access her tits. I started to knead and squeeze and it was like as if I am just not getting enough. I went on to swirl my tongue around her areola and flip her big nipples. As I touched her nips a long hiss escaped her lips and she put her arms around me.

Now we were like eternal lovers, her hesitation and shame had been pushed past and she started to reciprocate in subtle moves. It heightened the pleasure of lovemaking. She was behaving like a nubile girl being touched for the first time.

I held both her tits in hand and gave them a hard squeeze, she squealed and opened her eyes to find me looking straight into her, holding my head she pulled me to her face and kissed me full snaking her tongue inside. We were now kissing passionately with a hunger that none of us knew before. She kissed my cheek and forehead then returned to my lips with a vigor. She hungrily lapped and licked my lips.

I moved my hand on to her naked belly and traversed it down till the top of her pyjamas. Slipped my fingers just a bit, past the elastic band and raised myself to look at her. She looked at me calmly with an impassive face. I started to push my hand further down inside and expressions flashed across her face in series, from worry to bewilderment and so on. As my hand reached top of her vagina she bit her lower lip and turned her face away from me. With my other hand I forced her straight and gently proceeded to cup her mound.

She had her eyes closed shut , 'Amma look at me' she didn't . I squeezed her pussy hard 'amma please' she opened her eyes and looked piercingly with her deep eyes carrying an expression of desire. I started to caress and run my finger along the length of her slit. She bit her lip, squirmed raised her chin and loosened her thighs subtly. I slipped my middle finger in her flowing wet pussy.

'ooo...oofff....Maa!' she threw her arms around me and roughly pulled me for a violent hungry kiss. At the same time I felt her gently moving her thighs wider, I pushed deeper into her, ring finger joined middle inside, and I commenced a slow and long in-out motion.

She bit my lips sucked my tongue in and ran her tongue along my mouth. I moved on to caress and suckle on her erect nips. I felt them hard and rubbery between my lips.

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