I've Got Issues

I've got issues. I know I do. I realize this even more as I wait for my phone to ring and when it doesn't I want to crawl into a hole and die. Okay, that was too dramatic, but you get it. This is the state I was in when I met Peter Welsh. Peter was older than me. It was obvious. I guessed he was around 45. He was around six feet tall and had a muscular build. His brown hair was short and his green eyes twinkled.

I was nearing 30, but still just barely, in my 20s. I looked young for my age. I was just on the smaller side of average and had a full ass. I wore my hair natural in dark kinky waves that fell to my shoulders. I crossed my arms self consciously. I was dirty from work. Ashley had convinced me to come over to her house after work. I had protested but she swore Dan, her husband, was cooking dinner and she had already told him I was coming. Ashley and I worked at a nonprofit where we specialized in environmental work. Today we had gone out in the field to help plant trees in the forest. Cheesy I know, but important.

I cut my eyes at Ashley. She had tried to set me up. She always had some little plan. She knew I wanted a relationship. I appreciated the effort, but I could've used a heads up and a shower.

"Lissa, this is my buddy Pete. We work together at the firm. Pete this is Ashley's coworker Lissa."

"Alissa." I corrected Dan.

Dan laughed and shrugged. Pete stuck his hand out and smiled down at me.

"Nice to meet you Alissa." He made sure his eyes caught mine. I blushed.

If only I had known how often Pete would make me blush...

"You're beautiful," he said the words reverentially. : Like I was precious.

His scrutiny made me uncomfortable and I crossed my arms over my stomach. I laughed uncomfortably and moved to sit beside him.

Pete and I had gone on a few dates and we realized that we had chemistry that unknown thing two people sometimes have. On our fourth date he had asked about growing up with a single mother and I had told him all about my mom. And the man who was my father. He had listened and then told me I had issues about that.

"Thanks," I scoffed.

"It's not bad. I'm just saying. Maybe that's why you like me. I'm older."

"Pete," I moved to get up and he sat me back down.

"I could help you with it. Give you what you've looked for for so long."

I felt uncomfortable suddenly. Was this guy for real? I felt like I could begin to trust him, but now. Wait, was he right? I had failed at every relationship I had tried. Maybe I did have some issue with men.

He ran his hand along my face touching my soft hair. His eyes grew warm and he leaned toward me.

"I really like you Ali," he had taken to calling me that when I told him that was what I had gone by from infanthood until age 18.

"I like you too." I smiled at him. It was true I did like Peter. He was funny and sweet and fun to look at.

"Let me care about you. It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you." He leaned in and kissed me softly. I sat very still for a moment. Then I gave myself to him.

That is how I arrived naked in front of Peter in his bedroom. I had promised to see him again the following night. He asked me to stay over and I agreed. When I arrived at his door the following night he met me in a pair of loose fitting pajama pants. His upper body was fit and looked strong. My eyes crept to his shoulders and biceps; I had a little bit of a fetish. His arms were strong and defined, but not too defined.

"Come in."

I walked in and began to take off my jacket.

"Take it all off."

I laughed and turned to face Peter expecting to see his joking face. I met his eyes and my mind registered that he was serious.

"Pete..."

"I'm serious Ali. Take off your clothes, baby. I want to look at you."

I hesitated. I knew I wasn't fat, but I wasn't exactly a super model either. I wanted to be daring and show him I was brave and sexy. I slipped my tank top over my head. Then, I stepped out of the short skirt. I quickly unfastened my bra and slowly stepped out of my thong.

I stood before him. He took my hand and let me to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed as he pushed me out in front of him.

"You're beautiful," he said the words reverentially; like I was precious.

His scrutiny made me uncomfortable and I crossed my arms over my stomach. I laughed uncomfortably and moved to sit beside him.

"Wait, wait a minute," he reached out and held me still.

I giggled and he ran a hand over my hip. I sucked in my stomach.

"Ali, don't, just relax. I love your body." He looked up at me.

I laughed nervously and dropped my arms. I wrapped them around his neck to distract him. I leaned in and sucked his neck into my mouth. I moaned and stuck my ass out hoping to stop the conversation. I pulled back hoping to see his face relaxed in pleasure. Instead his eyes grabbed mine immediately. He took my wrist and held them down. I could feel that my little show had done something as I felt his cock twitch against my hands.

"Let me look at you," he repeated.

I gave in and stood up. I looked down at my feet and tried to relax. I was relieved when he reached up and touched my nipple with his finger tips. I sighed softly. As if spurned on by my reaction Peter stood and came close to me. He locked eyes with me and I prepared for a kiss. Instead he bent and kissed my nipple. I let my head fall back. He reached up and rubbed a hand on my collarbone. He sucked my nipple into his mouth and I moaned. He stood up releasing my nipple with a sucking sound. He pulled me close, pressing my body to his. His hands lingered on my ass pulling me in and then rubbing. He gave my ass a quick spank and he laughed. I cuddled my head into his neck embarrassed.

"Come here," he pulled me toward the bed.

He sat down and pulled me on top of him. He pushed my hips down so that my pussy rubbed against his briefs. He moaned as I moved my hips around on his hardness.

"You feel so fucking good," he sighed into my neck.

I arched my back, hoping to feel his mouth on my nipples again. He read my cues and I moaned loudly when I felt his wet warmth around my nipple. His other hand stayed firmly on my hip continuing to move me on his cock. I was soaking wet and I knew I was making a mess all over his briefs. Peter flipped me over onto my back. I gasped as he for the first time treated me roughly. He smirked at me and then leaned on top of me. His hand found its way to my pussy and began to rub me up and down. He watched my face as his fingers spread me and then his thumb found my clit. I shut my eyes and gasped.

"Open your eyes sweetheart," He whispered to me. I couldn't open my eyes. I was so open to him right now, I just couldn't.

I felt a finger enter my pussy roughly and my eyes shot open. Peter smiled down at me, "I asked nicely."

I moaned and kept my eyes open as he continued to finger fuck me. Just as I was about to cum, he pulled his hand away from me.

"Peter..." I moaned like a little brat.

"Hush," He kissed me hard and then slid down my body. He pulled me on the bed so that I was on top of him. He hooked his arms under my legs and pulled my pussy to his mouth. Before I could stop him, he had my clit in his mouth and I was pushed forward, hands on the bed.

"Pete," I wailed. I hated oral sex being performed on me. I know, weird, but that feeling of being so open, so unable to get away. I hate it. Or should I say, hated it. Peter held me firmly over his mouth. I don't know how anticipated the need for this position so that I couldn't squirm away. I felt the pleasure strum through my body as he let his tongue focus on my clit. He found my spot expertly and circled his tongue over and over. He moaned into my body and yanked me closer. I felt my stomach flip and I came hard on his mouth. He continue to suck at my pussy until he had enough. He carefully flipped me back over and lay on top of me.

"You make me so hard," he took my hand and wrapped it around his now naked cock. He was hard and hot. My pussy felt raw and on fire from my orgasm. I hesitated. He seemed to read my face.

"Don't even think about it."

His voice was menacing as he crawled on top of me. I started to laugh as he spread my legs and nestled himself between them.

"I'm going to wipe that smile off your face baby."

"Please," I teased.

With that he slid into me hard. I felt him deep inside me. I arched my back and my hands went to his hips trying to drive him away.

"No," he whispered as he leaned toward me pumping into me. I felt so full, so amazing. He rubbed his hand lovingly over my head as he pushed inside me. He kissed my check.

I felt something besides physical pleasure. Something I've never felt during sex. I felt it deep inside my soul. Like I cared for this guy, really cared for him and he cared for me and I just knew it. It was an insecure guess like in the past. I trusted it and I knew it.

He turned my chin so I had to look at him. He smiled down at me as he pumped inside me. He leaned down and kissed me softly. He kept our kiss as he began to slam into me and I could tell he was going to cum soon. He was pushing so deep in side me. I broke the kiss and held him tight to me as I felt him cum hard inside me.

We both lay still for a moment. He pumped inside a few times more, and then he rolled off of me.

I looked at him. His eyes were soft and kind. He reached out to me and stroked my cheek.

"Shit, I'm not on the pill." I heard my own voice, but couldn't believe I had said it. Talk about ruining a mood. Why the hell did I just say that? Peter's eyes darkened and he pulled me tighter to him.

"Stop it." He said it like he was scolding a naughty child.

I shook my head confused. He kissed me and held me against him. His tongue slowly explored my mouth. I opened my eyes and found he was looking straight into me. He released our kiss and cupped my check.

"Stop," he whispered again. He pulled me close and pushed my head down on his chest.

I told myself I'd lay there until he fell asleep, then I'd go sleep on the couch. Before I knew it, I was half asleep and still in his bed. Fine, I told myself, I'll just sleep here.