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  • Black Man One Ch. 21

Black Man One Ch. 21

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It was apparent from the start that we had not rehearsed what we wanted to say to one another. It was more obvious that Julie didn't want to be there at all. I had not expected to be having this embarrassing opportunity to speak to her at this time. Nor, did Julie expect to be speaking to me. The conversation began rather slowly and tentatively as we "danced around" the uncomfortable situation.

"Are y-you o-okay, Julie?" I asked softly.

"Yes, I'm fine." she answered in a faint whisper, her eyes moving away from mine.

There was an uncomfortable pause that seemed to last forever. In shame, I looked over my beautiful wife who had been so outspoken in the past. Now, she was quiet and demure, and so obviously well-fucked by the younger black man. It was so obvious that it was difficult to comprehend.

"I-I really don't kn-know what to s-say, Julie." I whispered, even softer.

Julie paused.

"Well, Trey said that I needed to speak to you. So, I am." Julie finally said, her soft voice ringing in my ears.

"Oh." I meekly replied, trying to avoid direct eye contact with her.

The silence between our verbal exchanges was already deafening, and becoming more uncomfortable with each passing moment.

"Trey says you've been being really good about helping him out." she suddenly said, trying to make small talk.

I looked at Julie confused by her words. Her unplanned response surprised me. My face blushed as I did not understand what she was referring to at the time.

"Yeah. Trey says you've been helping out with his laundry and his workouts in the gym." my blonde wife said, continuing her attempts at small talk.

Her words cut right through me like a buzz saw would cut through plywood. Here was my beautiful wife mentioning in a "round about way" the demoralizing fact that she was fully aware of my embarrassing predicament.

She was aware that her young black stud was making her tall, weakling white husband handwash his worn bikini underwear every other day. She was aware that her "pussy" of a husband was back to being her black stud's workout assistant, which simply consisted of being his "spit and towel boy." Her innocent little comment told me that she knew that Tra'mon was making me "fetch" things for him, like his custom-made bikinis. She seemed to know everything.

In many ways, it seemed as if Julie felt compelled to mention these embarrassing facts. I didn't understand why she needed to bring all this up at this time. I was already embarrassed enough.

"Y-Yeah, I-uh-guess." I answered meekly.

My eyes could not look into hers for more than a second. Not after those words she just spoke. The shame I felt was unbearable. The long pauses between our responses felt so disheartening. It was like we had become teenagers on a first date, or even worse strangers.

"Well, at least Trey is not beating you up anymore." Julie suddenly said in a soft tone.

"Not so much, I mean." she added, in an afterthought.

My body felt limp as Julie mentioned this humiliating fact.

"I mean, Trey just has such a temper sometimes." she added.

"Trey can get so physical when he gets mad." Julie continued.

"Trey says that's just how he is." she added.

"And, I know it must hurt you when Trey does all those things to you." she said, rather innocently.

"I guess that's why you're so afraid of him." she added, a faint whisper coming from her lips.

I was speechless. I sat there embarrassed that my wife would continue to mention these things. It was even more curious as to why she felt compelled to continue on and on. Her direct and indirect references to Tra'mon "beating me up" and me "being afraid of him" were so embarrassing to hear. My throat was tightening.

It felt as if Julie was suddenly remembering all those humiliating images and situations that she had witnessed, as well as the ones she was keenly aware of. Now, she was verbalizing them.

Julie was indirectly referring to the many times she had seen Tra'mon slap my face, and the times he would roughly put my face to his backside. She seemed to be referencing the times she had seen him place his dirty foot on the side of my face and twist my arm behind my back as he literally kicked my backside with his bare foot.

"But, that's just how Trey is. You shouldn't get him mad, ya' know." she added in a matter of fact tone.

"I-I know." I replied in a barely detectable whisper.

Her references to these things were digging into my already low self esteem, and I needed for her to stop. I do not think she knew how she was making me feel at the time. Talking about the ways this young stud had emasculated me was far too demoralizing for me to handle. My face burned red from the degradation I was feeling inside. In desperation, I then interrupted her train of thought. I just had to.

"Julie, please?!" I shouted.

"Wh-Why are you with him?" I babbled.

"H-How can you b-be with a man like th-that?" I suddenly gasped.

I do not know where my words came from. They suddenly came out and I knew that my frustration must have caused this brief eruption. The humiliation I had experienced didn't need to be repeated, as far as I was concerned, and here she was dwelling on the degrading details of them.

My brief eruption startled Julie as she looked back at me ready to shout back. But, then she regained her composure and slipped back to her softer side as she contemplated what her response would be.

"Richard, I don't think you'll ever understand." she began, speaking casually.

"Trey is just a different man." Julie continued.

"A different man than you." she added.

"A much different type of man. A proud man. A strong man. A strong black man." Julie explained.

As I heard those words come from my wife's lips I became even more embarrassed. I did not intend to "set off" any comments from her. Not like this. The soft, casual tone she took while explaining what type of man Tra'mon is truly carved into my heart even deeper.

I tried changing the subject fast.

"Julie? Your h-hair. Wh-why?" I asked.

"It's what Trey wanted." she answered.

"B-But, it's-uh." I attempted to respond.

"Well, Trey likes it. I like it now too." Julie said, softly.

"Y-Your br-breasts, Julie? Wh-Why in world would you d-do something l-like that to y-yourself?" I gasped, suddenly feeling a surge of energy to ask.

"I just thought it was time for a change. Trey said they would look good on me. Trey was right." she answered, her tone softening again.

"B-But, they're so b-big now Julie." I bellowed, my eyes looking even more worried.

Julie just looked at me as if she couldn't believe I was concerned by the size of her boobs. She wasn't about to honor my curiosity with an answer. Not at this time.

"And, y-your arms? Th-those tattoos?" I gasped, pleading for an explanation.

"Wh-What is..." I cried.

My blonde wife just peered back at my defeated face and offered up a rather non chalant response to the large black panther head tattoos on both of her arms. The blackness of those tattoos slightly draped over each one of her shoulders and covered her upper arms nearly to the elbows.

"They're just symbolic. The fitness center's logo is a black panther. Trey said they'd make things easier." she said.

"Easier f-for what, J-Julie?" I asked with begging eyes.

"Just easier. They identify me." she said.

"Besides, they're easier than wearing those uncomfortable arm bands all the time. That's what Trey said." Julie explained.

"Trey was so right about that, too." she added.

My eyes lowered in shame as another long pause filled the air between us. From my side, there was unbelievable tension.

"Julie? I-I saw that tattoo on your b-back too." I stated.

"It's the club's symbol. That's all. It identifies me too." she explained.

"I-Identifies you? What does th-that mean. I-I don't understand? Wh-Why do you keep saying that?" I asked with desperation.

"It's nothing you should concern yourself about, Richard. Don't worry about it. It's honorary for certain club members." she explained.

"Trey insisted." she said.

"I wanted to do this for him." she added.

"Wh-what do you m-mean by that?" I sniveled.

"What a-about us?" I asked.

Julie wasn't answering. Her soft, demure tone disappeared for the moment and she seemed frustrated by my questioning. She was becoming more annoyed. Stupidly, I persisted.

"Th-those are tattoos on your b-breasts too? Did he insist on them too?" I asked.

"Why are there T's inside those spade symbols?" I added, feeling more desperate and insecure.

Again, Julie did not offer up an answer. She was growing weary of explaining herself. That last question caused her to withdraw for the moment. Suddenly, she felt more distant to me as she pondered a response.

"Listen, Richard. I don't want to talk about them. This is not the reason why we need to talk." she said, her whispers becoming more faint.

The sudden change to a softer and more conceding tone caught me off guard. I felt like I had a small opportunity to ask more quesions. I needed to know where we stood, and I was curious why she had left me for such a man. In reality, I was truly groveling.

"B-But, why him? Wh-Why a guy like th-that, Julie?" I quivered.

After a brief pause she decided to answer.

"Well, he's just a different type of man. It's hard to explain." she answered.

"B-But, they way he treats you J-Julie ..." I interrupted.

"Richard, please? I told you. He's just different." Julie continued.

"He's just misunderstood." she explained, trying to dismiss my comments.

"Wh-what? I-I mean h-he's just so rough and mean." I quivered.

"That's just his personality." Julie returned, defending him.

"H-He's such a b-big b-bully, Julie. How can y-you be with a guy that's so mean like th-that?" I probed.

Julie certainly didn't want to discuss this with me. My questions were beginning to further annoy her, once again. My eyes were pleading for an explanation that I could understand as she finally responded.

"I told you. Trey's just different. Things are different now." she said even softer.

"Different, Julie? P-Please? H-He's such a big b-bully to me." I quivered.

"Trey's a man." she replied.

"H-He treats you s-so rough, J-Julie. Is that th-the kind of man you w-want? He's a b-big bully. H-He's a thug!" I shouted, unable to take back my thoughtless words.

"I told you. Trey's just a different man. That's all. A man that knows what he wants." she explained.

"H-He's a big bully." I repeated, in shame, as my voice quivered to a softer tone.

"It's just the way Trey is." Julie said, still trying to get away from the topic of conversation.

"H-He has other children, ya' know." I sniveled, trying to convince her that Tra'mon was no good.

"Yes, I know that." she answered.

"And, h-h-he sees other women too. Y-you know that, don't y-you?" I groveled.

"Yes, I know that too." Julie whispered.

"A-And, you know what else J-Julie?... h-he got Karen and T-Tammy pregnant too. I-I heard that." I said, continuing my attempts to bash the black stud's reputation.

"I-I-I even heard that he w-was in prison before, J-Julie?!" I lied, completely.

"Yes, I know Richard. I know all that. Stop already." Julie snapped, her tone still soft.

Even my attempted total lie of Tra'mon once being in prison did not dissuade Julie. Her acknowledgment of something I simply "made up" seemed to be true.

"Th-that man is such a b-big bully. He's so rough." I added.

"That's just his culture, Richard. It's a black man's culture." Julie suddenly said.

"You just don't understand." my wife added.

I looked at my wife in disbelief. She didn't seem to mind in the least bit that this young black stud was seeing so many other white women.

It didn't seem to bother her that this black man had fathered 9 other children with 9 different white women, and that he had two other white wives from the condo community "knocked up" at the same time.

She didn't seem to care about the rough and seemingly disrespectful manner in which he treated her. It didn't concern her at all.

The way he "bossed" her around all the time didn't seem to bother her at all, either. The manner in which he picked on me, beat me up and disgraced me beyond reasonable explanation wasn't deterring her away from defending this young black stud at all.

"I-I don't understand, Julie. Really, Tra'mon is just a big bully. Th-that's all he is." I repeated, once again.

"Richard, I tried telling you not to get him mad. He just has a little temper." Julie said, still defending the black man.

"H-He's a b-big bully, Julie. Can't y-you see that?" I persisted.

"A b-big bully!" I repeated louder.

My persistence and attempts in trying to "bash" the actions of this black man took Julie's tolerance of annoyance to it's limit. She became even more annoyed than I had ever seen. Suddenly, Julie snapped back at me.

"Well, ya' know you're big too Richard. What are you, like a foot taller than him? You're even bigger than he is, ya' know! Just stop!" she snapped, now boiling over.

"Just stop. You don't want him hearing you say all those things, do you?" Julie asked, snapping back.

"I-I don't care." I gasped without thinking, feebly attempting to seem more masculine.

Her words cut through me like a knife. I was speechless for a moment when I realized what I had just said. My wife mentioning that I was taller than the younger black man embarrassed me, although I was not exactly a foot taller like she had stated in anger. But, I was in fact a full 7" taller than him. My wife's interpretation of our size difference only caused more humiliation inside of me.

"B-But, he's still such a b-brute of a man." I finally cried.

"He's different. A different type of a man, Richard. Different than you. Just different. Please just stop this already." she returned.

At the time, I did not realize that Julie was simply trying to be cordial by not stating the obvious.

Naively, she had made statements that embarrassed me but she was holding back so much more that was on her mind. Her explanations of Tra'mon being so "different" did not resonate with me. Not entirely. The way she seemed to be defending the black stud while I continued my attempts of "bashing" him and "bashing" his personality weren't working. They weren't working at all.

Still, I was making a futile effort to do so. Pathetically, I was directly and indirectly groveling before her. I was pleading with her while I continued trying to convince her that Tra'mon was so bad for her.

"D-Different how? Different that h-he sees all those other w-women and d-doesn't care?" I sniveled, almost crying.

"That doesn't matter. You don't understand." Julie replied.

"H-H-He's just a mean guy. A THUG!" I cried louder, trying to argue back

"He's a man, Richard. Trey is a man. A different man. Trey has taught me a lot too." she replied.

"H-He's a th-thug." I cried, desperately.

"Stop, Richard. Trey's a man." Julie replied.

"B-But I'm a m-m-man too, Julie." I sobbed.

"Not like Trey is." she sputtered under her breath, an off the cuff whisper trailing behind her previous statement.

As I looked into Julie's face I was confused by what I saw. She had changed so much. She had changed physically and she had changed emotionally. Everything about her personality and her views on life had changed too.

Like so many other white women before her, it was like his actions and his attitude towards other women didn't matter. The only thing that seemed to matter was the pure masculinity of this young black stud, and that she was now "a part of it."

My thoughtless persistence was steering her determination to keep a softer attitude towards me. She was becoming more disturbed.

"Wh-What about us, Julie? I-I'm still y-your husband. I'm still y-your man." I groveled, pathetically.

"Things change, Richard. You're not the same kind of man Trey is." she answered.

"H-He's just a mean man. A b-bully." I gasped in frustration.

"That doesn't mean anything, Richard. It doesn't matter. Trey's different." she replied, softly.

"I-I'm a M-Man too." I cried. "J-Julie, please?" I quivered.

"Richard, stop!" she said firmly.

"Wh-Why him, Julie? Please?" I begged.

"Richard, enough already. Stop crying like a little baby!" Julie snapped.

"I told you. Trey's a different kind of man. A man that's in my life now." she added, as I continued to cry like a big sissy.

"B-But, I-I-I thought I was your man Julie. H-He's a mean man. A b-brute. H-He's vicious. A th-thug!" I mumbled as Julie grew more annoyed.

"Trey's different." Julie replied.

"Different? That's d-different? Different how?" I repeated, persisting.

Julie finally had enough.

"I told you. Now, please stop. I'm getting sick of this, Richard!" Julie began.

"Trey is different. Trey is a strong black man. A powerful man. He's a proud black man. A man that can protect me. He's a BLACK MAN... A REAL MAN!" she suddenly snapped.

Her comments stunned me.

"B-But, I can b-be a real man too Julie." I groveled.

"Please, enough." Julie replied sarcastically, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

"I-I can, Julie. I can be a real man for you. I am a real m-man." I blurted, begging and sniveling before her.

"Really, Richard? Is that so?" she asked, with sarcasm.

"Y-Yes, Julie. I-I can be." I sniveled.

"Oh, Really?!" she answered firmly, as she began her tangent.

"Really, Richard? A man that washes the feet of another man? A man that gets beaten up all the time? A man that is made to kiss the ass of another man ... and then washes his bikini underwear for him?" she continued.

"Is that a man?!" Julie ripped.

"A man that is afraid all the time? A man that can't protect me, or defend himself in any way?" Julie continued.

"A man that wipes the spit off the floor of another man? ... is that a real man, Richard? Huh? Is it?" she snapped.

"Is it, Richard? What kind of man is that?" she yelled, again.

Mercifully, Julie stopped her tangent for the moment as I sat there with the reddest face possible. I was ashamed by her words, and even more so by her obvious recollection of the things that had happened. Like always, I tried to "lie" my way out of this ultra-demoralizing situation.

"B-But, Julie. H-He just c-caught me off-guard, th-that's all. I-I wasn't ready th-those times. And, it-it-it was..." I cried.

My attempts at an excuse were becoming more pathetic than ever. Trying to convince my beautiful wife that the things she witnessed were simply an aberration was futile.

"H-He was just such a bully and I-I didn't know what t-to do. B-But, I-I do now Julie." I added in a weaker and unconvincing whisper.

"He's a black man, Richard. That's how black men are! They're strong, proud, virile and they know what they want. I understand all this now." Julie said, returning to her demure tone.

"Trey taught me a lot. Trey made me understand. I owe so much to Trey." she added.

"You're a white man, Richard. You wouldn't understand." she said, trying to explain.

I looked into Julie's somber eyes. She was right that I didn't understand, and I certainly did not know why she was saying all these things to me when it seemed to be over between us.

My body was slumped over in utter defeat. At the time, I knew I had lost her. The silence was deafening for minutes as I began to contemplate life without Julie.

But, that is when things suddenly and uncanningly changed. Julie's attitude seemed to change as well.

My "pushy" attitude and attempts to berate the young black stud had prompted her to "lash" back at me in a humiliating way. My disrespectful attitude caused her to defend Tra'mon as a man. As a man in her life.

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