My Perfect Woman

Chuck put his clubs in the back of my pickup and then said, "Oops, I forgot my wallet" and he hurried back into the house. That gave me my chance. I opened the bag cover, pulled out his putter, closed the bag back up and put the putter behind the seat. He came out f the house with his wallet in his hand and said:

"I probably won't need this since I expect to beat you turkeys and you will have to buy the beer."

"In your dreams" I said as I pulled out and headed for the Singing Hills golf course.

I smiled inwardly as I anticipated the look on his face when he discovered that his favorite putter was missing. He considered that putter his 'lucky club' since he had beaten Sam, Phil and me three out of every five times we had played since he bought it. Taking his putter wasn't about keeping him from beating us; it was all about fucking with his head. I'd been doing a lot of that lately and as I drove toward the golf course I thought back on what I'd done to him over the last several months.

One night I snuck over to his house after dark and loosened the lug nuts on all four wheels of his car. He couldn't figure out why his steering wheel was vibrating until the right front wheel broke the wheel studs and fell off. All four wheel hubs were ruined and had to be replaced at $119.86 per wheel. Also three of his tires had abnormal wear on them and had to be replaced at another $102.67 per tire.

Two weeks later I found a jagged piece of metal on a job site and I again paid him a visit after dark and put the piece under his left rear tire. It tore up the tire bad enough that it couldn't be repaired and he had to buy another one.

Then there was the night we met at the Landing Strip for drinks. I had my usual two beers and was ready to leave, but he wanted to stay a while longer so I left him there and headed for my truck. As I went by his car I took out my keys and gouged his paint from front to rear. I don't know how much the body shop charged him, but he was without his car for three days.

When we got to the course Sam and Phil were already there and were practicing on the putting green and we had about ten minutes till our tee time so Chuck and I joined them.

"What the fuck?" was heard from Chuck when he went into his bag to get his putter.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"My putter isn't here."

"Good" Phil said, "Maybe all your luck is gone too and we can wax your ass today."

There was some more talk about where did you see it last and did you take it out to polish it and leave it in the garage. Sam hit closer to home than he knew when he said:

"Maybe Rob paid someone to sneak into your garage and steal it."

As our tee time approached Chuck hurried into the pro shop and bought another putter. The one he bought definitely wasn't lucky for him. He three putted the first hole and four putted the next two. The day gave me one more chance to fuck with him. On the sixteenth hole he sliced his drive into the trees on the side of the fairway. We went looking for it and I found it. I looked around and no one was looking my way so I stepped on the ball and drove it down into the soft soil and kicked a few leaves over it. After a few minutes Chuck had to take the drop and the penalty so we wouldn't hold up the foursome behind us.

Sam, Phil and I beat Chuck badly that day and he had to buy the beer. I'm normally only a two beer guy, but that day I had five because it made Chuck have to dig into his wallet. As I drank the beer that Chuck was paying for I thought about another shot I'd taken at him. I belonged to the Eagle Rest Country Club and Chuck wanted to join. I made a big thing out of putting him up for membership. Voting was done by secret ballot and the vote had to be unanimous. When his application was voted on there was one "no" vote cast and yes I was the one who cast it.

As I drove him home I thought about the best thing that I had done to fuck with him. It was at a barbecue at his house about two months ago. I'd been there about an hour nursing my first beer when his wife Francine came up to me. I'd known Franny for as long as I had known Chuck. When she was thirteen she was a gawky, gangly plain looking girl. Her dad got a promotion and they moved out of town. They came back five years later and the ugly duckling had turned into one hell of a sexy looking swan. I dated her a couple of times and tried to get into her pants, but never made it. There wasn't any spark between us so all we were was friends.

Franny was one of those sexy looking girls that guys looked at and wanted to fuck at least once just to see if she was as hot as she looked. Anyway, I'd always wanted to fuck her at least once and she knew it. I flirted with her even after she married Chuck knowing that it wouldn't go any where, but what the hell, miracles did happen occasionally. I wasn't thinking affair; just one time to see if she was a hot as she looked.

But back to the barbecue.

Franny came up to me and asked me how I was doing.

"Okay."

"How is the love life going?"

"Haven't got one."

"Oh come on Rob; a hot looking guy like you just has to be fighting the girls off."

"I'm saving myself for you Franny. I just know in my bones you will come to realize that you don't want Chuck and that you want me."

"You are so full of bull hockey. All you want to do is get in my pants and do what I wouldn't let you do when we dated."

"And that makes me all bad?"

"At least you're honest and that's more than I can say about some."

As she said that she was looking over at Chuck who was talking to Sylvia Martin while trying to see down inside her cleavage and to her belly button. The look that came over Franny's face told me that not all was well in the Maxwell household.

"Look at that cow" she said, "If she didn't have those 40DDs no guy would even give her a second look."

She turned to me and said, "You know don't you."

"Know what?"

"That the asshole is cheating on me."

I didn't answer, but the look on my face told her that I was indeed aware of it."

"I thought you were my friend Rob. Why didn't you tell me?"

"And cause you to go through the same pain I went through when I found out about Shelly? No way Franny. I wouldn't do that to some one I didn't like let alone to some one I do."

"I forgot about Shelly. You were a bear to be around for quite a while after she was gone."

She looked at me for several seconds and then said, "You have always wanted to fuck me haven't you."

I was stunned at what she said. I'd never heard Franny use a curse word in all the time I'd known her so the "fuck" was a huge surprise. And then there is what she'd said. It wasn't put to me as a question, but as a statement. I recovered quickly and said:

"You know I have Franny."

"Would you? Even though Chuck is your friend?"

"Stupid question Franny. I'd do you right here and now in front of God, all your guests and your husband."

"I don't think I could do that, but I would love to see Chuck's face if you did. Would you do me even knowing it was only me getting some revenge and not because I found you sexually fascinating?"

"Franny I can honestly say I'd do you even if I knew you were only going to lay there, chew gum and stare out the window while waiting for me to finish."

"Wow Rob; I didn't know that you were such a romantic."

She looked over at Chuck and he still had his eyes buried in Sylvia's cleavage. I couldn't say that I blamed him. I'd seen those babies close up and personal and Franny was dead wrong about no guy paying attention to Sylvia if it wasn't for her huge tits. Sylvia was one hell of a hot fuck or at least she had been before she married Max. I hadn't heard that she played around on him so Chuck was probably just engaging in some wishful thinking.

I felt a punch on my arm and turned to see Franny staring at me. "You too? You're like Chuck and like to stare at huge tits?"

Thinking fast I said, "No. I was just trying to figure out what he is seeing in her. She hasn't anything going for her except those huge udders. I'll bet that when she takes her bra off those things hang down to her knees."

Maybe they would in years, but the last time I saw them uncovered they stood out straight and proud.

"Go circulate" Franny said, "and meet me at the downstairs bathroom in ten minutes. If the door is locked knock three times quickly" and then she walked away.

I decided to be mean and I walked over to Chuck and Sylvia. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek and said:

"How you doing sweetie? Ready to leave Max for me?"

She smiled at me and said, "Not just yet honey. Give me just a little more time."

"I'll give you all the time you need as long as you promise me that my name will be at the top of the list when you get ready to bail."

"I promise honey."

"Hey! What about me" Chuck asked.

"Sorry Charlie, but Franny would cut my tits off if I had anything at all to do with you."

She said it in such a manner and tone that Chuck knew right away he was never going to get anywhere with her and he turned and walked away.

"He's such an asshole" Sylvia said, "Always trying to look down my cleavage. Like I would ever have anything to do with him."

"Give him a break sweetie. He's a male and you know damned well that every man who sees you wants you."

"Still, it's his house and his wife is here. He's got to be an asshole to behave like that in front of her."

"I don't know about that. I seem to remember casting lustful glances at you when you were at parties at my house and Shelly was there."

"That was different. Shelly was a pig and deserved to have you checking out other girls in front of her."

"You knew about her didn't you?"

"Everybody knew about her honey."

"Then why didn't any of you ever tell me?"

"Because you are one hell of a nice guy and no one wanted to be the one to bring the hurt on you. You loved the stupid cunt so much you wouldn't have believed the messenger anyway and you would have just stopped being the friend of whomever it was that spilled the beans."

"I hate to admit it, but that is probably the truth."

Sylvia was silent for a bit and then she said, "Max and I aren't getting along too well right now. I don't have the proof yet, but I believe that he is the male version of Shelly." She leaned forward and kissed my cheek and said, "Your name is at the top of the list honey."

As she walked away I remembered my last time with her and hoped that she would get the proof that she was looking for.

I arrived at the downstairs bathroom at the appointed time. The door was locked so I knocked three times and the door opened and Franny stepped aside and let me in. She closed the door and locked it and then said:

"We don't have much time. This is just to prove to you that I'm serious. Take it out please."

I unzipped and took out my rapidly hardening cock and she took it in her hand and stroked it a couple of times. Then she leaned forward and took it in her mouth. I'd had plenty of blow jobs over the years and some of them were great, but I'd never had one as good as the one Franny was giving me. Chuck had to be an absolute idiot to play around on her. I'm usually not a quick shooter, but Franny was so good that she had me at my peak in no time.

"I need to pull out baby; I'm going to shoot."

I started to pull back, but her hands gripped my ass and pulled me forward and I blew my wad in her mouth. She sucked and swallowed and she didn't take her mouth off me until my cock was limp. When she pulled back she looked up at me and smiled and then she went back to my dick and licked it clean.

"That was a preview of coming attractions" she said. "Chuck goes out of town the day after tomorrow and he'll be gone for two days. Think you can wait that long?"

"I will if I have to, but I am still willing to do you right now in front of Chuck."

"I thought you were his friend."

"There is friendship Franny and then there is you and I've wanted you since the first date I had with you. I never cheated on Shelly, but if you had made me this offer while I was still married to her I would have leaped at the chance."

"You sure know the right things to say to a girl, but I'll pass doing it in front of Chuck. I intend to do it more than once and doing it in front of him would put an end to that. He makes damned good money and I like the lifestyle I have and I don't want it to change so I intend to cuck him for years."

"For years? I'm just going to be the first of many or dare I hope for exclusivity?"

"I'm only going to do one at a time Rob and how long it is going to last is up to you."

"Then you will never be doing it with anyone else."

She gave me a long look and then said, "Tuesday night then. What time should I be at your place?"

"I get off work at five and I'm usually home by five-forty."

"See you at six" and then she unlocked the door and went back to pay attention to her other guests.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Tuesday Fran rang my doorbell at six on the dot. I opened the door and stepped aside to let her in. She had been to my house plenty of times before and she knew the layout.

"Not going to waste the time on small talk" she said as she headed for the bedroom."

Yes indeed, Fran was as hot as she looked and once again I thought that Chuck had to be a screaming idiot to be wasting his time on other women. Fran did it all. She gave great head and she loved it up her butt. Before she left she asked me for a key and I gave her one. When I got home from work Wednesday Fran was already there and she had dinner fixed and waiting. In addition to Fran being a fantastic piece of ass she was an excellent cook.

Chuck was usually out of town on business one or two times a week and over the next two months whenever he was gone Franny was at my house. She didn't have to worry about being at home when Chuck called because they didn't have a home phone. They hadn't seen any sense in having a home phone since they never used it. They had cell pones and that is all they figured that they needed.

Maybe three out of every five nights that Franny was with me Chuck called. Her biggest turn on was taking his call while my cock was in her. One time he called just as she was undressing and she told him to hang on for a minute because she had her hands full. She finished undressing and got on the bed and whispered:

"In my ass lover; I want you in my ass."

I worked my cock into her butt and she went back to talking to Chuck again. I had to take it slow and easy so we wouldn't give anything away. The hard and fast part came when she closed the phone and dropped it on the floor and said:

"Now lover, fuck me hard now."

Yes indeed, fucking Chuck's wife was the best thing I'd done so far in fucking over him and I was still seeing her once or twice a week. Why was I fucking over the guy who was supposed to be one of my best friends? I'm sure that by now anyone reading this has already figured out why.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Shelly came into my life slowly. My daily routine was to wake up at three forty-five, put on the coffee and then check my computer for emails. Then I pulled up the National Weather Service and checked the weather for the day. Monday through Friday I was at the doors of the gym when they opened at five and on Saturday and Sunday I was there when they opened at seven.

One morning as I was doing my reps on the seated leg press a woman walked into the circuit training area and started doing stretching exercises. She was a damned good looking woman, very easy on the eyes and about as close to being my ideal woman as any other woman I'd ever seen. I enjoyed watching her work out.

In any other place I would have made a move on her, but not at the gym. For a lot of people there is a mental component to their workouts and their workout time is private time for them so I wasn't going to intrude on her. I did notice an absence of wedding or engagement rings, but that might mean nothing since a lot of people took off their rings when working out.

One Sunday I was soaking in the hot tub after my workout when I saw her come in and head for the steam room. She saw me in the hot tub and she changed her direction and came over and slipped into the 105 degree water with me. She sat on the other side of the tub (it was big – it held sixteen people) and after settling in she said:

"You're Rob right?"

I nodded a yes and she said, "I'm Shelly."

"Nice to meet you Shelly."

She sat there for maybe thirty seconds and then she said, "I see you watching me when I work out."

"Guilty as charged."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you watch me?"

"Because I'm the male of the species and I'm hardwired from the factory to appreciate beautiful women plus you have the added attraction of appearing to be what I consider my ideal woman."

"And what, pray tell, makes up your ideal woman?"

"A tall woman and I would put you at about five eight."

"Five nine actually. What else?"

"Long legs, but that usually goes along with being tall. Next is long hair. I've never seen yours in anything but a pony tail but it has to be long because even in a pony tail it is down to the middle of your back. Next, you look great without make-up."

"That's it? That's all it takes to be your ideal woman?"

"No, there is more, but I've not seen you in circumstances that would allow me to check off those boxes on the list."

"Tell me what they are and I'll tell you if you can check off those boxes."

"Wears short skirts and dresses to show off her legs. Likes wearing high heels; again to show off the legs."

"You can check both of those off. I don't have any long skirts or dresses and I have at least a dozen pair of heels and none of them are shorter than four inch. I have three pair that have a five inch heel and one pair that has six. What else?"

"Likes to dance."

"Got that one too. Ballroom, salsa and I'm really into country western."

"Western swing and line dancing?"

"Both. That it?"

"There are a couple of more, but I'd have to know you an awful lot better before I could even bring them up."

"Okay, when?"

"When what?"

"When are we going out so you can get to know me well enough to tell me the rest?"

And that is how my life with Shelly got started.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

When I showed up at her door for our first date she met me at the door in a mini-dress and wearing five inch heels. Instant hard on and she noticed and smiled. She was a great date. Besides being stunningly beautiful she was smart, witty and had a great sense of humor. Shelly was the total package.

She hadn't lied about her dancing. She could have won dance competitions if she had a decent partner which, by the way, wasn't me. I liked to dance and I was fairly good at it, but I was nowhere near being in Shelly's class.

When I got her home she said, "I don't normally kiss on the first date, but a girl does have to make exceptions sometimes" and she gave me a hot passionate kiss.

"Can we do this again" I asked her.

"Call me" she said. "Soon."

As I walked back to my car I was already picking out the ring I was going to give her when I proposed.

When I brought her home following our fifth date I kissed her and she pushed me away and said:

"Enough of this silly playing around. We both know what we really want to do" and she grabbed my tie and led me into her apartment and then into her bedroom. We undressed and Shelly sat on the edge of the bed and motioned me over.

"I want to taste you first."

She took me in her mouth and sucked on me for a couple of minutes and then she pulled off my cock and lay back on the bed.

"I've been waiting for this since our first date so come on baby and ring my chimes."

We made love for a good fifteen minutes before I had to let loose and I started to pull out and she said: