A Love Lost, A Love Gained

Before anyone flames me about this story I want you to know that it has been a long time between stories for a very big reason. I lost all love for the series I started and that is why I have started this story...

This story is 100% true and I promise you it is probably the most heartfelt thing I can come up with. The reason I am posting this story now is because all the details are very fresh in my mind. I have had less than a month since the "Conclusion" of this story if there is one.

Well with that little foreword... Let us begin...

A love lost, A love gained.

This story, like many others out there, is both horrifyingly sad, but uplifting and hopeful. This is the true story of how I lost the woman I thought was the love of my life and gained a true friend and soul mate in the new love of my life.

Jessica and I had been dating for over two years when I proposed on that cold and desolate day in late December. I remember the day so vividly. It was snowing out, the sun was peeking through some clouds and it was rather dreary looking all in all.

That wouldn't dampen my spirits though. That was to be the day I would never forget. It was the day I stopped living for myself and instead was going to start living for a family. I remember how the wind tore at my coat. It felt like a pack of howling wolves trying to steal what warmth they could from my very soul. I had my arm wrapped around Jessica and we were walking through a bitterly cold Plattsburgh, New York.

When I say it was bitterly cold I mean it was the kind of cold that you just cannot get relief from. The kind where the wind seems to get through your coat and past your skin. I could feel my bones rattling and my joints grinding frost between them. I thought for sure I was going to die of hypothermia. I am from a small town in Arkansas and this kind of weather is not at all good to me. I hate snow and ice but to be with Jessica I was going to have to learn to love it.

Jessica was a Vet Tech at a hospital in Montreal, Quebec. She was the smartest woman I had ever met and that often intimidated me. She had these beautiful glowing blue eyes. There were times I wondered if she was looking straight through me instead of at me. Her hair was cut shoulder length and pulled back in a short pony tail. She had her North Face jacket on and the hood down. I remember the way her face was flushed from the cold.

We walked into the little diner attached to the hotel we were staying at and decided on a seat near the bar as it was warmer there. I ordered a Sam Adams and the fish and chips. She got a tea and burger. It was around 6 pm and the sky was already starting to turn dark. It was just the right moment for everything I had planned.

"Jessica, can we talk about something?" I asked as she finished her burger and sipped lazily on her tea.

"Of course Mikey, what's wrong?" She tilted her head as she questioned me.

"The past two years has been incredible. You have brought back the fire that I lost. The little spark that I thought had died permanently you made real again." As I spoke her eyes started to water. "I don't want to picture a life without you and," I stopped speaking just long enough to drop to one knee beside her seat, " I want you to marry me. Will you marry me Jessica?"

She took the ring out of it's case and kissed me.

"Yes, yes I will Mikey!" There were a few people smiling and one guy started clapping although I think he was drunk and didn't fully comprehend just how amazing a moment that was for me.

I paid the tab and we practically ran back to the room to celebrate! As we got inside the hotel it was like we were two animals more than we were people. We contained ourselves until we hit the elevator. She kissed my lips hard and pressed up against me while we waited on the doors to open up on our floor.

I took her hand and we walked to the door of our room. When the key card finally unlocked the door after two or three hasty tries failed, we bolted in and pretty well tore the clothes off of one another.

I remember her laying on the bed in front of me. The site of her naked body etched forever in my mind. The way her body curved just right from her thighs to her shoulders. She wasn't slender by any means. She had curves built to kill. Her C cup tits were perfect. Not too big, not too small. Just right. They fit my hands perfectly when I cupped them. Her milky soft skin dimpled up as I ran my hands which were callused from working in the factory 12 hours a day over them.

Her nipples started getting hard so I played with them while we made out. I remember the feeling of her tongue and mine dancing on one another. The way her body responded in short gasps. This was our second night together at the hotel after not being with one another in almost 2 months so I was taking my time. I tweaked her nipples gently, playing with them and teasing them with my thumb and pointer.

I kissed down her neck slowly to her collarbone. I gently nibbled on it for a moment before moving to her tits. I sucked one nipple into my mouth and bit down very very softly. Feeling it stiffen up even more as my teeth grazed over it.

I could feel her fingers digging into my back as I kept kissing lower down her body. Kissing little butterfly kisses down her stomach and all along her waistline.

As I reached her mound I looked up into her eyes and slowly circled her clit with my tongue. Letting it flick at her soft button.

"MMMMM Justin..."

"Justin?" I said in shock and pain. "What do you mean Justin..." I knew damn well what she meant. Justin was her ex, he had just gotten back into town after serving three months for some petty charge.

"Well... What do you mean?"

"Mike, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. It was all just a big fucked up incident at my cousins party. I was drunk, please, I'm sorry."

"I-I gotta go." Without saying another word I quickly dressed while she pleaded in the background. My mind racing a million miles a minute. She had fucked him, she fucked him and I had just started to go down on her...

"Slow down Mike, you need to slow down!" My brain screamed at me. "Mike you'll be sick if you let this keep building."

"I trusted you and you ruined it. Goodbye, keep the fucking ring, sell it, keep it, I don't fucking care!!!" I blurted out quickly as I left the room.

"Oh, and you may want to have a friend pick you up tomorrow, I'm canceling the rest of the stay and getting what money I can back from this mistake of a trip. I hope you are happy with Justin." I screamed as I gathered my clothes and walked out with my bag. I had everything I came with except my soul. It was like everything was worthless at that time. I was out of a very serious relationship and now I knew I was going to remain single. I knew there would never be anyone for me if she couldn't be true to me.

I got downstairs and the manager gladly refunded me the money when she heard what had happened. She said that she had no record of us checking in and would make sure all the funds were put back on my card.

As I thanked her she tossed me the keys to her car and asked me to talk to her for a minute.

"Mr. Schwartz, my car is the grey Mercedes in the side lot. I trust you because you have been one of our most loyal customers for the past three years and I am going to hate not seeing you. You always had something happy and cheerful to say and I know that what happened-" At this point I cut her off.

"Miranda. We have known each other as long as I have dated that slut upstairs and I am sorry if what I say offends you because I really do like being here. I don't want pity and I don't want your car."

She laughed at me and said, "Mike, you don't get it. I was going to tell you to bring the car around and I would give you a ride to the airport. If you want to spend the money on the cab you can."

I lowered my head and thanked her quietly. I pulled the mercedes around the side of the hotel and had to notice just how nice of a ride it had. "The joys of owning a hotel I suppose..."

I walked back in and handed her the keys to her car. "Drives like a dream. Thanks for letting me pull it around and giving me a ride to the airport."

"Don't mention it. Hell, the way you tipped you practically paid the down payment on it." She quipped in a whimsical manner.

I smiled grimly and asked her if I could hide in the office in case Jessica came downstairs.

"Sure, there's fresh coffee in there too. I bet you could use a cup or two. I have one of my shift supervisors on the way to cover for me so I can get you to the city and into Laguardia on time."

She was always the greatest of all hosts.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that coffee. You want a cup?" I asked quietly.

"Black please." She walked into the office, "Shut up and don't make a noise, I can keep her distracted but if you move around she will know you are in here." She was staying true to her word. "Hello Jessica, I heard you and Mr. Schwartz are cutting short your stay with us this time? I trust the room was alright?"

"I fucked up Miranda, is he still here?" Jessica's voice was quivering.

"Unfortunately no, he said something about urgent business and he grabbed the eight pm bus back home. Is everything okay? You like white as a ghost!!"

God Miranda was a great sales woman. She could sell anyone whatever she wanted and she was exceptionally talented at covering for someone, a trait I would come to learn she picked up from her childhood.

"I think Mike is gonna leave me. I don't wanna talk about it. Can you call a taxi, my friends are all ignoring me now."

Miranda promptly dialed the local taxi service that ran to and from Montreal.

"15 minutes hun, will that be enough time to get your things?" Miranda asked with a note of concern to her voice.

"Yeah, I already got them down her with me. If Mike comes back this is his." I heard the clink of metal on the counter. "I won't keep it since I broke his heart while wearing it and it kills me just to see it."

"Of course hun, that is a beautiful ring. Sorry things didn't work out for you two. I always did enjoy when you guys stayed here."

"Thanks Miranda, I'm going outside. Take care maybe I'll see you again sometime."

"Bye, thanks for staying with us!"

I heard Miranda's heels on the tile floor as she came in the office. I broke down and started crying immediately. She was now the closest thing I had to a friend as I spent all my time working and never really made a lot of friends. I shook and sobbed for a good half hour while she waited beside me.

"I'm so sorry you are seeing me like this Miranda. This isn't your job." I groaned out. "I just really believed she was the one."

"Mike, if you aren't ready to go home you can stay compliments of the house. I will get the maids to leave the room alone until your week is up. Sound good to you." I know she was just trying to help but it hurt even worse hearing those words. Thinking of staying in the room where I found out she had cheated on me with her ex was too much.

"Shhh, it's okay Mikey... It's gonna work itself out." With that she handed me the ring. "Here. This belongs to you, for better or worse." I took it and continued bawling like a little girl that had just lost her first kitten.

"I don't know what to do now. I gave her every part of me." I moaned into what I originally thought were my arms. As it turned out my arms were far too weak and made of gelatin at that point to have supported my head. She had sat next to me at the desk and wrapped her arms around me and held me as I sobbed until her cover got there.

"Take your things to the car. I will be out shortly." She ordered me out of the office and I heard some words exchanged between her and David. I knew his name because he normally worked the morning shift and covered the breakfast side of the hotel.

"I hope you don't mind me asking. What all happened?" She asked, this time with real concern in her voice.

"She cheated on me with her ex Justin. She fucked him at some party while she was drunk."

"I'm sorry Mike, but you are not going to the airport tonight." She stated boldly. "I'm not letting your trip end this way. Call it what you want, my dad called it me being a stubborn mule."

I looked up in shock, "You can't tell me what to do." I looked at her. "I am going home. I don't want to be at this hotel anymore, I'm sorry." I needed to get out of there, that I wasn't lying about. I was lying to myself about her not being able to tell me what to do though. She was the only thing I had that was close to a friend.

"What are you going to do when you get home? Get drunk, get high? Lose your job?" She remarked. "No you aren't staying at the hotel, I won't ask you to do that. I will, however, offer you my guest bedroom."

"I don't want to impose. Besides I'm sure your husband or boyfriend wouldn't like that one bit." I said thinking of how I could just get home.

"Ha ha Mike. Whenever you get the urge to think... Let it go. I am not going to let your trip end this way. You will have a good rest of the week and I am going to make sure that happens by any means necessary. You may not get it, but a lot of our guests are one timers or people that just don't care what we think. You were one of the few that actually took the time out to talk to us when you stayed." She started to tell the story of how most guests only did this while drunk and I was only catching snippets of the tale,"... they only want to get my number or hit on me while they are hammered. You came down every night just to say hi, it was nice to have that. You would talk with us while Jessica was sleeping and your insomnia wouldn't let you! Do you know what that means to someone who gets nothing but crap all day?"

"I guess I never thought about it, makes sense I suppose. I was too lost in what was in the room..." I said dryly. My pain was turning into blind rage. I knew I wanted to see Jessica in pain. I wanted to see her begging at this point because that's what she deserved, humiliation and pain.

"Look, you can stay with me for the week. I am not taking no for an answer. You are the first guest we had that took the time to get to know us. Hell, you know more about me than my own family does." She laughed and continued talking. "Mike, you are one of the few people that I am around less than once a month that I consider a friend. I see you and Jessica maybe 5 or 6 times a year for just a few days and every visit you make you always stop and talk to me. That means a lot." She smiled and put her hand on the back of my head. "Besides something tells me you could use the company or you'd still be fighting me."

"Alright, fine I'll stay the rest of the vacation in your guest room. How much do I owe you?" I knew there was gonna be a price, there's always a price.

"Mike, you are my guest, not a customer." She smirked. "Boy for a Southern man you sure don't listen very good." She quipped in a sweet southern belle charmer accent. "You didn't learn bad manners from that foreigner didcha?" She was laying on the accent thick and I had to smile at it.

"No ma'am. I think I will enjoy the stay, and you're right I don't think being home alone would be a good thing down there. I am gonna help you around the house while I am here though, that isn't up for debate." I resigned myself to whatever fate she had in mind for me. I knew that she was just trying to be friendly and that after this week I would probably never see her again.

We pulled up into a small ranch style house covered in Christmas lights and decorations. I had to laugh because it reminded me of a house down the road from me. The Christmas lights looked like they were in such a position that it would be too much of a hassle to take them down so I had to ask her how she did it.

"How did you get those lights up there and then get em down every year?" I asked.

"I don't. They stay up because I'm too lazy to take them down. I like them being left up year round. Makes me think of happy things on a bad day." She smiled to herself and pulled the car under a small carport that looked like it was ready to fall in on itself.

"Mind if we skip any small talk or anything and I just see the room when we get in? I am kinda beat from sobbing for the past hour or whatever it was." I asked with a note of appreciation in my voice.

"Of course, but first I'm giving you a small tour. Over here is the dining area, it isn't much and there is a lot that needs done but it fits it's purpose." She motioned me on down a small hall way. "First door on the right is the bathroom, no shower in that one though. You'll have to use the master bath for that. That's just around the corner up here and please for the love of all that's holy do not walk out naked. I don't want to get a heart attack and I don't think you want me to point and stare." I knew she was joking but it fell a little flat for me. "Sorry, too soon I guess." She quickly apologized.

"It's fine. I gotta get used to it right?" I smiled weakly and we continued on. Her leading me down the hall to my room.

"It's not much, but this should do you just fine." She opened the door and turned on the light. "There are extra blankets in the closet and you can hang your clothes if you like. I'll do your clothes up for ya before you leave so people won't think I am an evil hostess!" She smiled and let me get my things put up. "When you get done come out to the living room please. I want a word with you before I head back into work."

She left and I set to putting some of the button up shirts I had with me in the closet. I switched out of my night clothes and into a pair of jeans and a wool sweater an old friend gave me. As I walked out the door and into the hall I smiled and braced myself for some kind of speech about not hating and forgiving and letting go of the past.

"Took your time didn't you? David will think we've gone and jumped off the deep-end or something." She smiled at me. "Mike I know I said you could stay the week, there's something you need to hear."

"Yes?"

"If you need more time you are more than welcome to stay a bit longer. I don't mind and it will be nice to have some company while you are getting back on your feet again." She looked almost hopeful so I decided to not shoot down the offer entirely.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I won't make any promises though. That's why I'm here after all." I was depressed at this point. I was so mad and hurt that I had gone past pissed off and straight to the hole. I could feel a terrible tightness in my chest. It wasn't until I felt Miranda's hand on me that I realized I had started to daydream a bit.

"You'll be okay Mike. I mean it. A blind man could see that you are hurting but that you are strong and will get through this all. I want you to know that if you need anything while you are here I am more than willing to try and help you!" She said with a sympathetic tone that melted me once more.

"Thanks... I can't tell you how much this means to me. If I can help around the house in any way let me know." I smiled through my tears and she walked me once more back to my room.

"There is a tv in the little stand over there. It's not the biggest but you'll be able to catch your favorites I'm sure. I have basic but it gets the goodies. History, ESPN, and AMC especially. Remote is in the nightstand along with the password and log-in information for the wi-fi." She handed me a slip of paper with a number on it. "Text or call if you need anything Mike." I put the number on the nightstand and thanked her once again.

I sat on the edge of the bed as she walked out the door and went back to work.

I was alone. I was single. I had lost my best friend, soul mate, and love of my life all in the past 3 hours and it didn't look like I was going to be able to get over it at all.