Finding Out Ch. 01

Julian:

When Luke asked me to tutor his younger brother Mathew I was surprised. Not because we weren't all close; we'd grown up together and lived next door to each other all our lives but because Luke was probably smart enough to do it himself. I'm Julian, 23, 6 ft. and thin framed; a classic geek chic nerd. I'd always been great at maths, graduating as dux and now studying honours in electrical and mechanical engineering. Growing up next door to Luke and Mathew made us really close and despite our differences. We remained best friends through school and now Luke and I share a unit on our college grounds were he studies medicine in hopes of becoming a surgeon.

Luke and Mathew are very wholesome and clean cut, muscular, athletic and smart; great all American boys. I suppose that's why I hid in the closet for so long, not wanting them to know but now I'm out and proud. The funny thing being that no one really thought twice about it. I was still me regardless of whom I dated. Granted my appearance has become more outlandish, with tighter more fashion conscious clothes, thick rimmed glasses, a few piercings and an edgier hair cut but I still spent most of my time playing retro video games or in a library with my head bent over a book.

Mathew may have been the younger brother but he didn't look it. Mat was in his last year of high school and the quarter back of the high school football team. He was 19 years old and 6'4 of gorgeous muscle but he was also straight. While he had a free ride to college playing ball, he worked hard on his grades in hopes of getting into the engineering program.

Anyway, we arranged that I'd come over every Thursday night to start with and Mama (their mum) would feed me too. The first night I figured out fast why Luke had passed the job onto me, it was some pretty advanced physics. We worked hard and with a few tips and a bit of practise he was easily on the right road. Matt was doing really well; I on the other hand was struggling. Normally when I was with him there were other people around and we were doing something but with just the two of us and no distractions, my mind was wondering. His strong arms and thighs so close to mine; I couldn't help but breathe in his intoxicating scent and stare at his full lips as we talked and I even kept fooling myself into thinking he was looking back at me. Needless to say I was relieved when I left and started driving home. I needed to give myself a good talking to. This was Luke's little brother; his straight little brother. I had to control my wondering imagination.

Mathew:

Julian was even more gorgeous than I than the last time I saw him; there was always so much to look at. From his styled locks to his pale, creamy complexion and 3 upper ear piercings. Every part of him was striking to look at. His tight body enhanced by his skinny red jeans and tight white muscle shirt, giving a great view of his every move and a hint of possible nipple piercings (a new development); the view was so erotic. I chose to concentrate on my study and focus my eyes on the page to avoid awkward moments and not be caught staring.

Julian was openly gay and although I was definitely attracted to him and other males, I wasn't out. I considered myself bi-sexual, both men and women are attractive to me but Julian, Julian was special. I'd had a crush on him long before I knew what the feelings meant. My fascination caused me to be that annoying little brother that constantly followed him and my brother, Luke around everywhere but more recently things had changed. I started to figure myself out and understand my feelings. I knew though that even if I came out, he wouldn't be interested in me because of my age, our brotherly relationship and the fact that I clearly wasn't his 'usual type'. I just didn't see the point in making a big deal about my sexuality if nothing would change for the better. I didn't mean I couldn't look and imagine though.

Julian:

Over the next few weeks I started to notice a lot of interesting things, I kept catching Matt looking at me and accidently touching me or holding me for longer than necessary periods. He had a beach photo of Luke and I on his bed side table and always had my favourite snacks out when we were studying. Yet until the week I showed up early I thought I was just overthinking things.

The week I got there early Matt wasn't home yet but I was told I was welcome to use his laptop. Once I made my way up to his room and set up on his desk, where we normally worked I started up his computer. What I found both shocked and excited me! The last web browser he'd had open was a porn site, a gay porn site. Then through further computer snooping I found alike sights favourited and a folder full of photos of me. Which sent my thoughts reeling, could this gorgeous amazing guy possibly be gay AND interested in me...