A Learning Time In The BDSM Lifestyle

A Learning Time In The BDSM Lifestyle: A Master's love & a sub's trust

A Master's love for his sub runs deep, and is earned and gives with A/all his heart. He earns the trust of the person becoming his sub. T/they grow T/together in a relationship that will take T/them into a lifestyle where T/they work to please the other. This process starts with a courting time period where the Master and the prospective sub get to know each O/other and learn about each other. The time frame is as long as T/they wish it to be which is for as long as they are T/together in the relationship. Once the trust of the sub has been given to the Master freely, then they progress into the relationship. Learning what the others limits are and T/their wants, needs, and desires.

Then in time those limits and desires are pushed slowly and gently. Some Master's may push harder than others but get the same results in time. The Master works with the sub shaping him/her to becoming a good submissive. It takes time and does not happen overnight like some would like to believe. It could take weeks or months depending on how much T/they want to get into the lifestyle of BDSM, (Bondage & Discipline/ Sadomasochism). Some will come into this lifestyle and use some of the techniques just to spice up their sexual lifestyle. While O/others will make a lifestyle out of it, and embrace it and learn more about the BDSM lifestyle so few talk about.

As a Master you can learn from other Master's that have been in the lifestyle and know things that will either help guide you or things you can use or just chalk up as comments. Some things that you can learn as a Master from your sub is what he/she is into and is willing to do by doing a BDSM partner checklist. The checklist will help you both in finding what the other is willing to learn and do. The time you both spend learning T/together and being honest and open with each O/other will greatly enhance your relationship.

As a Master I am constantly learning with my submissive. W/we have an open and honest relationship and it grows with each passing day. As it can happen to those new to the lifestyle and that want to learn and grow in something new. In time the relationship will grow and you B/both will become closer and you will learn new things and grow T/together. It is a challenge to B/both of you to push each O/other's limits and test each O/other on different ideas and things that you both want to do and learn.

Once the trust has been developed and grows then the relationship will progress and you will be able to do different things. The main thing to remember is that BDSM is to be safe, sane and consensual between both parties. Having a safe word helps and also having negotiations also helps with the learning process. A submissive is a person and not a doormat to walk on. T/they are human and should be treated as such. Submission to a Master is a gift and given freely. IT is earned and respected by the Master/Top.

Some confuse a Top/DOM when talking about the BDSM lifestyle. They think the two are the same when in truth the two are very different. A Top is someone who is an active partner in a scene, or someone who enjoys the dominant role in a S/M scene. A DOM is someone who has been given control and who has earned the trust and respect of his submissive. He has taken the time to learn about what the sub missive's limits are and how far he can push them.

The DOM is also a person who the submissive lets into their mind and push their buttons to see what limits can be pushed. But being either a DOM/Top it must be safe, sane and consensual so that neither person involved gets hurt. That is the main thing in the lifestyle that people need to think about, Am I a Top? Or a DOM? Sometimes people mix the two or think that one is the other.

Speaking on safety in the BDSM lifestyle it is always a good idea to have a safe word. A safe word is a word the submissive says when things get to a point he/she is not comfortable with. The safe word can be anything from (someone's name, to some color,) or something that will stop the action and that has been agreed upon by both parties in advance. So please use a safe word when involved in a scene or whatever is going on at the time.

Most times in a BDSM relationship a contract is written up between the DOM and submissive. This contract lays out the groundwork for the relationship and what is expected from the DOM and submissive. Some are basic and simple and then some get really in-depth and specific as to what the submissive will do for the DOM. The DOM usually writes up the contract on things that are important to the relationship and that the DOM and submissive have talked about and agree on.

Everything that I have been writing about are the things I have learned in my experience in BDSM. I am still learning to this day as a Master and growing with my submissive. I am very happy with my submissive and love and care for her very much. In time things will grow and will progress as W/we try different things and push our limits. This short writing is about things I have learned and want to pass onto O/others that would want to try the BDSM lifestyle for either heightened sexual pleasure or they want to incorporate into their lives in some way.

In conclusion to this writing, I would wish you A/all a very healthy and fun time in whichever part of the lifestyle you get into and pursue. Be safe, sane, and consensual in the decision you decide. The lifestyle is not for everyone and you may just use some of it to spice up your sexual activity. Always keep love and trust and respect foremost in A/all your hearts and minds. Be Well and Safe.