Christian College Sex Comedy Ch. 12

*Wakefulness is a race we cannot not win; Sleep is remorseless as all salvation should be*

(Once more, to Frontma for coming through for me)

(Yes, this tale is supposed to be somewhat humorous and outrageous too. While not always comedic I'd like to think it is mostly a good-natured romp.)

I woke up to every heterosexual teenage boy's second favorite dream (the first being a morning blowjob) of a perfume-scented head resting on each shoulder as you wake. There were the tiny complications of only having gone to bed with one woman and that, by their breathing, I could tell they were both awake.

"Good morning," I said cautiously; technically morning since it was 5:00 a.m.

"Good morning, Zane," Iona and Barbie Lynn greeted me. They both ran hands over my chest, though they gave a sudden jolt when their hands touched. I had one arm around Iona and I used that to give her a hug. My other arm was pinned by my side by Barbie Lynn's body.

I gave Barbie's thigh a squeeze and she wiggled in response.

"Okay, Barbie Lynn, this is Iona's night, so what are you doing here?" I scolded my blonde nymph.

"I'm sorry," Barbie demurred then looked to Iona and repeated the "I'm sorry."

"I understand," Iona replied, hesitating before saying after further introspection as she snuggled in, "I want to wake up this way every morning too. I like the way he smells and the way he makes me feel all warm inside...and now you owe me a night...to be shared," she stated hopefully.

"One of these days I'm going to get a say in how I spend my free time," I griped. Iona looked hurt but Barbie Lynn merely sneered.

"Don't you worry none, Iona. Zane, if you could wake up next to myself and Iona tomorrow morning, would you?" she drawled like sweet molasses.

"Yes," I grumbled petulantly, "but I'd still like to talk about it."

"Trust us, Suga, we know what's best for you and what you want. Just let us girls take care of you and you take care of all the Man Stuff."

"We'll take good care of you," Iona dog-piled on, but in a nice way.

"If it makes you feel better, you can punish us," Barbie Lynn offered. "We've been bad."

"Huh?" Iona and I questioned. Barbie flipped over and wiggled her ass against me.

"Good point. You two get to the foot of the bed, facing away from me – now!" I demanded.

"Why me?" Iona honestly worried. "What did I do wrong?"

"Do it, Iona. This is virtually a rite of passage," Barbie Lynn lied to her.

"No, it is not, and if you don't want to do it, you don't have to," I told her. She didn't know what I was going to do and she clearly was scared, but when Barbie Lynn crawled out from under the covers and moved to the foot of the bed, resting on all fours, ass toward me, she followed suit.

"If Barbie Lynn is going to do this," she muttered, "then so am I."

I followed them, positioning myself between their calves and massaging their butt cheeks lightly. Barbie shifted back and forth in anticipation; Iona couldn't de-tense. SMACK!

"Oh, Yes!" Barbie Lynn yelped, then playfully wiggled her other, unmarked cheek within reach.

"I've been really bad!" she chirped cheerfully.

"No! Bad Girl," I shook my finger at her. "I'm starting to believe you aren't learning your lesson." We both knew that spanking Barbie was like throwing gasoline on a fire. Unfortunately, my purpose right now was to get them both back to their rooms, not work off my morning arousal.

I moved behind Iona and forced her legs apart. She was clearly uncomfortable when I put a hand on each hip and slowly rocked her back and forth. Barbie Lynn sat back and watched with an enchanting glow highlighting her features; clever, intuitive, and lovely all at once. I settled my body onto Iona's back, my hard-on pressing into her ass cleft and one hand rubbing her stomach.

"Zane?" Iona whispered in a scared little girl voice.

"Yes," I answered, while kissing her along her shoulder ridge.

"You...you didn't do this to Barbie Lynn," she choked out.

"Do you want me to treat you as if you were another woman?" I continued, brushing her hair to one side so I could tease her neck with my lips. That got her to finally relax.

"No," she gasped.

"Iona, you explaining sex to Zane is like a bobcat telling a wolf how to hunt deer," Barbie Lynn teased Iona. "He gets to know you, what you like, and what you want, even if you don't know what that is."

I spent another two minutes giving Iona a sensual massage, rubbing her upper arms, down along her sides, then tracing the lines of her panties before finishing with her inner thighs. Smack!

"Oh," Iona gasped from the light impact.

"Why didn't you spank me as hard as you spanked Barbie Lynn?" she wondered.

"Did you want me to leave a handprint on your butt?" I asked.

"No...I guess not," Iona admitted. "Can you answer me something?"

"I'll try," I replied.

"Why do you have those marks on your wrists and ankles?" She inquired. The room was dark so Barbie Lynn hadn't seen my little gift from the Kappa Sig's until Iona showed her what to look for.

"Zane?" Barbie Lynn demanded to know, her persona going from sensual lover to protective Dorm Mother.

"Let's not get into this right now," I sighed. They looked past me to one another but thankfully respected the peace I had requested. Had they not left together, huddled in quiet conversation, I would have been happier, but I had to be satisfied with fifteen more minutes of sleep instead. By the time I made it to the shower, everyone already knew not to ask – they were already seeking answers on their own.

Getting to breakfast involved a play-debate where I had to be the 'Bad Guy,' aka the Liberal, Baby-killing, Godless Democrat, while my mistress of the moment was the heroic Republican. I graciously allowed her to trounce me, to the cheers of my fellow classmates, when I declared that all churches should be converted to homes for unwed mothers and that church-endorsed marriage should be banned for not accepting homosexuality. Did I know my audience or what?

NEVER A SIMPLE MORNING

I love women, even though they will surely be the death of me. Case in point: breakfast.

I'm about to sit down with my normal companions (Rio and Iona) when a blur shoves Rio aside and takes a seat next to me.

"Zane, I've been going over the books in the school library and some..." Raven began.

"Bitch, you did not just bump me and steal my seat," Rio seethed. Raven looked over her shoulder at Rio.

"We are not in kindergarten anymore. Grown-ups chose their own seat," Raven lectured.

"Wait!" I cried out to forestall Rio's pelting Raven with the contents of her food tray.

Rio gave me barely enough time to twist my tray sideways, half-stand, and pull the Hellion onto my lap. I wouldn't displace Iona and that was the only place in this section of the table for her to sit.

"Nice hood ornament," Raven smirked.

"You and me are far from done," Rio snarled.

"What, you don't know what 'ornament' means so you opt for something out of 'Goodfellas'?" Raven taunted.

"Stop!" I barked. "Rio – Raven, Raven – Rio; Rio is my twin-soul and Raven is going to help me get through English this semester so for my sake, would you both please play nice?"

Neither girl would budge so I took the initiative.

"Raven, I think we can get access to the libraries at UV and George Mason; I'm sure they have tons more material for us to use," I offered.

"How are you going to manage that?" Raven was skeptical.

"Yeah, Brainiac," Rio parroted. "How are you going to do that?"

"I'll have one of the Sorority sisters help me with UV and we'll have Iona hack Lance Wellington's password from his phone," I explained. "That will get us into Mason."

"Only an idiot would store their password on a portable storage device," Raven stated with confidence. "Someone smart enough to get into George Mason wouldn't do that."

"Ha, ha, ha," Rio laughed. "Raven, there are smarts, then there are real smarts. Any knucklehead can crack some books and get into a law school but it takes an adult to know when the rules do and don't apply."

"That makes no sense," Raven stated with authority.

"Raven, would you even consider trying to access UV or George Mason?" I asked.

"No," she admitted, "because we don't go there."

"Men build fortresses to be impregnable; God inspires men to storm them anyway," I replied.

"Which translates as, 'if Zane says he's going to get something for you, he'll do it," Rio said.

"Okay," Raven mulled it over, then, "So, Zane, how did you get those rope burns on your wrists?"

"Yeah, Zane, how did you get those marks on your wrists and ankles?" Rio inquired devilishly. I stole an accusatory look at Iona for ratting me out about my ankles.

"I went over to the Kappa Sigma House; they drugged me, took me out into the woods, performed unspeakable acts on my person, bound me to them with unbreakable oaths, drugged me again, and took me back to wake up once more at the house," I confessed.

"Seriously, if you don't want to tell us what happened, you don't need to make something up," Raven lectured me.

"Raven, if it was anyone else but Zane, I'd agree with you," Rio grudgingly admitted to Raven, "but in his case...well, this kind of crap happens to him all the time."

"Mr. Braxton," Coach Dana Gorman grumbled, "you have a student sitting in your lap...and you are not eating your breakfast."

"Oh, Coach," giggled Rio in a far-too-schoolgirl-ish manner, "I just learned that Zane and I are pregnant and that we are having twins!" My heart dropped through my guts and I didn't want to look at how much attention we had garnered.

"Not even remotely funny, Ms. Talon," Dana replied dryly. "You two haven't been here long enough for you to know if he got you pregnant – not that you can get pregnant – and it would definitely be too soon to know you had twins." I am not sure what happened next but somehow I managed to stand while not dumping Rio on her butt and wound up face to face with the coach.

"You had no right," I seethed quietly at Dana, "to publically talk about that."

"Stand down," she snarled right back.

"If she so much as sheds a tear, I will break you," I pledged, as I shifted into my fighting stance. Dana mirrored me, not about to back down.

"I'm fine, Zane," Rio said as she put a hand on my arm. "She's still angry that I turned down her lesbian advances."

"I did no such thing," Gorman stated evenly.

"So if we search your residence, we aren't going to find that banana shaped strap-on you tried to use on me?" Rio challenged the coach as she moved to my side.

"I possess no such item," Dana shot back.

"Well, we can always have a group of teachers check your place to verify my claims," Rio threatened.

"Sit down and eat your breakfasts," the coach commanded, then she stepped back and walked away. We did as instructed because chasing her down didn't seem prudent.

"How did you know she had a banana...thing in her quarters?" Raven inquired.

"Not a clue," Rio said from my lap, "but any girl that aggressive either has a boyfriend or some serious sexual aids. If she had a man, we would know about it, so she's got toys."

"And if her place gets searched, she is shamed by the discovery of her...equipment," Iona said.

"With all this craziness, how do you three ever get studying done?" Raven wondered.

"I do study," Iona stated.

"I plan to buy my grades," Rio grinned.

"I forgo sleep," I added. Privately, I was thankful that no one went near Rio's pregnancy issue. It was nobody's business, and I could deal without making a fool of myself again.

With breakfast finished, Rio headed off to find and torture Mercy, but I saw her get picked off by a senior named Anastasia. I was heading to meet with a junior named Natalie when Christina and company closed in around me.

"Who is your little friend?" Heaven said with a twinge of jealousy. Raven didn't answer the question, instead turning on me with some anger.

"You are like a dang magnet," she growled. "Do they text each other when you are leaving?"

"Yes, we do," Hope answered sternly.

"Gang, this is Raven Thorpe," I started, "and ..."

"Carry my books, freshman," Heaven demanded. Without waiting for a reply, she slammed her bag into Raven's chest.

"...and she is helping me with my English term project. She doesn't like me and is only working with me because she was one of the three that refused when Ms. Goodswell requested volunteers," I got out.

"What happened to the other two?" Chastity questioned.

"They claimed to be afraid that Zane would sexually molest them once alone...an excuse I think I should have used now that I've come to know him," Raven told them. Heaven was about to unleash her famous fury on Raven when Christina stayed her with a hand.

"Raven, have you ever seen Zane treat a woman badly?" Christina asked.

"Not directly. But last night he was at a Sorority house, and it is known he has a girl in his bed every night," Raven stated.

"Oh, that reminds me," I interjected, "Tawny says we are good with Kappa Sigma and that we are all invited back for their Halloween bash."

"Don't worry about a thing, Zane; I'll talk to Tawny about getting ten girls to help her set up and deal with the costuming," Christina informed me. "Raven do you know of any girl who hasn't wanted to be with him at night?"

"If Zane was a female student who had males in her room every night, none of us would talk to her," Raven stated.

"Even if she kept her virginity and never took the virginity of another?" Chastity asked.

"Do you seriously believe Zane doesn't have sex with most, if not all, of the women he hooks up with?" Raven countered.

"Iona," Christina demanded, "how many times have you gone to bed with Zane and have you lost your virginity?" Iona was shocked but finally managed to form words.

"Twice," she said sheepishly, "but I'm still a virgin and he's never tried to be anything but a gentle...lover. I feel completely safe with him."

"If it is his long-term plan to steal your virginity, you are falling right into his trap," Raven pointed out.

That brought some chuckles.

"Zane...long-term plan...he, he, he, he," Chastity lost it. "Zane's been accused of many things but over-thinking a situation isn't one of them," she told Raven.

"We like Zane a lot," Hope went on, "but he's sort of a nut."

"Last week we were trying to drive him out of school," Christina enlightened my English partner, "and on that Saturday we are at a party he invited us to off-campus. That is because Zane doesn't obsess on the past or worry too much about the future."

"And we all had a great time at the party, I might add," Heaven got her licks in.

"How is he going to have a future if he doesn't plan?" Raven persistently countered.

"Have you ever read his notes?" Iona asked.

"No," Raven admitted.

"He has a great memory and takes detailed notes – sometimes too detailed," Iona turned to me in a somewhat scolding manner. "Like sketches of the underwear Seraphina was wearing in Biology class."

"How do you know what type of underwear she has on?" Raven looked at me puzzled. I had no good answer to that that one so I decided to see what creatures I could make out of the clouds overhead.

"That little cunt flashes him," Heaven rumbled. I took a deep breath.

"To be honest, she actually hikes her skirt all the way up," I said warily – Heaven being a minefield, "but that's only because class is so boring. We also exchange notes on how to learn something besides creationism since we both plan to be doctors someday."

"Zane, what do you show her?" Christina grinned but in a friendly way. I was so hanging myself right at that moment, I simply couldn't outrun all of them.

"We occasionally sneak out to the bathroom during class and make out," I confessed.

"How do you sneak out during class?" Raven inquired.

"I have to go to the bathroom and I can't remember where it is so she guides me," I explained.

"Zane, it is three doors down from your classroom; how can you not know where it is?" Iona sounded bewildered.

"Our professor gives me a hall pass and he is rather forgetful," I related.

"So, how far did you go with her?" Heaven inquired sweetly. There was no good answer that would keep me out of trouble.

"I never kiss and tell," I evaded.

"I'll ask her when the Bible Study Team meets," Christina announced.

"Or I can ask her when the Debate Team meets," Raven added.

"Or I could make a break for the wall and make all this speculation irrelevant," I suggested.

"Not before we get our Date Night out of you," Hope warned me.

"Absolutely," Chastity said. "Hope and I have bought new dresses we want to try out on the World."

"Is there any woman he's not dating?" Raven wondered.

"I'm not dating you," I answered.

"And why is that?" Faith asked. Raven looked at me.

"Why couldn't I be addicted to something safe like prescription drugs? They don't talk back or ask embarrassing questions," I muttered.

"What was that?" Christina teased me.

"I haven't had the impression that Raven wants to spend that kind of time with me. She wants me to help her pass our class, so that's what I'm going to do," I explained.

"So if I wanted you to have sex with me, you would?" Raven requested to know.

"Nope; you are too tightly wound right now. Let's get some academic success under your belt and see what's what," I explained. "Outside of that, I find smart to be sexy."

"Zane is not going to abuse you, Raven...unless you ambush him in his bedroom," Christina said.

"Evidence suggests being naked in his bed helps," Iona related in a clinical manner.

"Oh, look!" I exclaimed. "I'm at my class now so I'm going to run away and leave the rest of you to torture me at your leisure."

"I'll see you at lunch," Christina reminded me.

"Uhmmm...okay?" I shrugged then slipped into my class before more could be said. I had a plan, and it was complex and hare-brained because that's when I was at my best. I even let the word get out that I was up to something but only one person knew what that was – except those bitches who kept hacking my system might have a clue as well.

When I slipped back into psychology class at 11:40, my teacher, Ms. Vincent, gave me this slightly curious and very disapproving glance. When class was dismissed, she called me over.

"This get-up has a purpose, Mr. Braxton?" she glared.

"Yes, ma'am!" I responded cheerfully.

"You should be in your class uniform," she reminded me.

"Yes, ma'am, I know, but there are special circumstances," I replied nicely.

"Handmaiden's Duty?" she guessed correctly. I nodded in response. "Very well, get out of here and try to remember the proper dress code next time." One more nod and I was out the door.

As I raced off in an intercept course, I made a few calls to set things in motion. Iona was a little put out that I hadn't briefed her on my plan but she wasn't the best at keeping secrets so I would deal with her later when things made sense. By the time the files loaded and the extra participants enlisted, I stood before Christina.

Christina stood there for a second, as did her crew. I was dressed all in white, from jacket to shoes, except for a thin black tie, hardly the school uniform.

"I was thinking about what to do with you," Christina began telling me, "but I have a feeling you have something planned out."

"Yes, I do," I grinned. "Ladies, check your tablets; I've downloaded an audio-file. If you can all start it at the same time, I can begin."

"Let me get this straight: you have background music and a costume...all for your Handmaiden's Duty with me?" Christina marveled. "I don't think you understand what this tradition is all about."

"I don't know," Heaven interceded, "he seems to have worked his heart out to pull this off."