Subway Girl Ch. 10

I was having the best dream that Alicia was going down on me, actually licking me as I petted her soft hair. Then as I grew hard she took me in her mouth, and as I slowly became conscious I realized I wasn't dreaming at all! "Mmmmm," I greeted her, "What a nice way to wake up. I thought I was dreaming at first. No wonder I call you Dream-Girl.' But I think I am going to change that to Best Alarm Clock Ever'." Alicia giggled and crawled on top of me and kissed me right by my ear.

"Good morning," she whispered.

"Mmmmhmmm, yes, it is."

Alicia clambered over me to grab a condom out of the desk drawer that was right next to the futon. Her position put her tits right in my face, so I did what came naturally as my hands found their way to her ass. We now had condoms stashed in each of the three rooms of her tiny apartment, always just a few steps away. Alicia tore the foil wrapper open and began rolling the condom onto me. "Hey, don't I get to play with you for a while first?"

"Not this time!" she answered. "We can't let you be late to work. Especially now that you are an important supervisor." And then she straddled me and lowered herself onto my very willing member.

"Whoa, I am still coming out of a dream state. How'd you get so ready?"

"Waking up next to you does that to me." Alicia grinned as she began riding me slowly. I was overcome with feeling for her. I could not believe how lucky I was to have this amazing girl so crazy about me. Her hair was all wild in the morning and she looked incredibly beautiful, so I told her, "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"Yes, but I'll never get tired of hearing it," she smiled at me. .I just enjoyed watching her as she took complete control, so confident and so sexy. I kept thinking "Wow, I am so damn lucky."

Alicia lowered her body onto mine and was grinding into me as I felt what she was trying to do, how she was attempting to rub herself, and so I pulled her hips down even further creating an indescribable friction. I felt her body flush with sweat and it was so sexy to see and feel these bodily changes come over her. I could have cum right at that second, except I was lucky to have had so much sex lately that I had a natural restraint. I waited until I was sure she was going to climax before releasing my own orgasm. Alicia lay panting on me and covered in sweat and I thought it was the greatest feeling ever, to have this hot sticky babe on top of me... But she got all self-conscious all too soon and jumped up to take a shower. I just washed myself off at the sink because I shower after work and, well, honestly... the smell of Alicia on me is one of my favorite things.

I looked in her fridge for anything to eat, but it was empty. So, I knocked on the bathroom door and told her I had to get to work. She opened the door and had a towel on her head and kissed me good bye. "Thank you," she said.

"For what?"

"For making me cum so nicely," she smiled at me.

That made me laugh. "Alicia, you really are my Dream-Girl. You know that?"

"I hope so."

And I hauled ass to work and made it ten minutes early -- with a ridiculous grin I could not wipe off my face if I tried. I got there even before Don and Lenny showed up. Don gave me instructions for the day when he arrived and he and Lenny both stayed and worked at the loft too. I am not sure what they were doing, but I was ripping down dry wall, which was kind of a nasty job, but it was cool to see the old brick underneath.

At lunchtime I checked my phone and saw a text that had come from Alicia that morning that said, "So much fun last night!" I texted back, "Shower or Salsa?" I was thinking both. And then I thought about our morning quickie, and I breathed in the smell of Alicia still lingering on my body. I sure wasn't complaining. I was feeling more comfortable with her now and definitely more comfortable within myself.

We didn't plan to see each other that night, but Friday I was going to hang out with her at her apartment, and we would have one more practice session before I took her out salsa dancing on Saturday night. Today I just planned to go home and take a shower and head over to the library. When I got home, I opened the door and jumped two feet in the air when I saw a guy sitting on my futon. Thomas!

"Damn, man. I wasn't expecting you!" My mind quickly processed that Thomas still had a key. Dammit, why hadn't I changed the lock? Then there was the fact that he actually paid his part of the rent. Did I need to let him stay?

"Hey, I'm sorry, man. I woulda' called first, but I realized I don't even have your number! I hope you don't mind I let myself in. At first I thought I was in the wrong apartment!" He held his arms out gesturing to how different everything looked. This didn't look like the Thomas I remembered.

"So what do you want?" I asked, rather coldly. After the bitch-out session I got from Don about not being too nice, I had been thinking about my situation with my roommates and knew I would never let myself get in a predicament like that again. I noticed he had his key and an envelope on the coffee table and a big shopping bag on the floor.

"I came to say good bye, for one thing. I'm going to Arizona to stay in a program. I got fifteen days clean." He was smiling and holding his hands out in a "look at me" gesture, but I still didn't trust him. "But also, I need to talk to you about some stuff." He suddenly seemed nervous and I wasn't cutting him any slack; I was still standing, he was still sitting, and I was staring him down.

"Well, man, Ray, man... I treated you real bad." He looked at me and I was starting to feel I didn't recognize him. "I was really messed up, man, and I know I was like the worst person to live with in the world. Not to mention..." Thomas paused and looked around. "Well, just look at this place. It looks good now, man, it really does."

I maintained my silence, which in this case did not feel passive. I was enjoying seeing him squirm.

"Well, I just wanted to say, well... I know sorry doesn't cut it. I took a bunch of your stuff and I want to make it right. I'm not going to stay, but I brought you the rent and a thirty-day notice."

"You're giving me a formal notice and paying the rent but not staying?" I laughed as I added, "Un-fucking-believable."

"Yeah, man, it's the right thing to do. Well, the truth is my mom's been paying my rent anyway, but when I talked to my sponsor, he said I need to make things right with you and I will pay my mom back over time -- hell I owe that woman a lot -- but anyway, yeah...."

"What's a sponsor?"

"A guy that's helping me work my steps. I'm in a twelve-step program and I am on my ninth step." He sat up straighter and was smiling now. I sure didn't recognize this Thomas and I still didn't know if I could trust this one any more than the old one.

"And what's in the bag?"

Thomas shrank again and said, "Clothes. I brought you some clothes. I took a lot of your stuff, Ray. I wish I could just give you a check -- and I do plan to send you some money once I start working -- but in the meantime I brought you some of my clothes I had at my mom's house."

"I don't want your damn clothes."

Thomas cringed like I had smacked him. This guy who harassed me for months was suddenly all sensitive. "I don't blame you, but it isn't just old clothes I don't want. I brought you some good stuff, but honestly, most of it is warm clothes I won't need in Arizona."

"I'll give it to the homeless."

"Well, it's yours to do whatever you want with. Listen, man, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say, except I intend to send you money once I get settled for all the stuff I took, your books, that toaster, your iPod, shoes --"

"Forget about it," I waved my hand in the air. I was getting angry hearing this itemized list, "Good luck in Arizona. I am glad you came by and paid the rent. That was pretty decent of you."

Thomas stood and shook my hand, "Any idea what happened to Jeff?" I told him the story about how Jeff tried to kick the door in and the cops took him away and said he mugged a lady and stole her purse. Thomas got all teary-eyed, which surprised me, and he put his hand on his chest and said, "That could've been me, man. Jeff and I were on the same path and he's in jail and I got fifteen days clean! What does that tell you?"

"That you got the better deal."

"I sure did Ray," his voice cracked and he walked out door shaking his head, "I sure did get the better deal."

I locked the door behind him and stood there shaking my head. I decided to take a luxurious shower before heading over to the Mid Manhattan library. I dumped out the contents of the bag Thomas had left and was glad I did. There were two decent pairs of jeans and a pair of running shoes that looked almost new, plus a few button-up shirts. There were also a few warm clothes I put in the closet, and then I took the whole bag with me as well as my new work shirts to give to Louisa for washing.

"Look at you, high roller now?" Louisa teased me as I handed her the bag of clothes and pre-paid with a ten-dollar bill.

"I'm a working man now," I laughed, and asked "Hey, can you wash my work shirts separate? I don't know if the jeans will fade on them."

"I wash everything separate, don't you know that?" Louisa asked. Funny, it never even occurred to me how she washed my clothes, but she held her door open further so I could see inside. She had a small apartment like mine with clothes lines hanging across the room and a bunch of clothes hanging drying right there in her apartment. I couldn't see any place to sit and I couldn't suppress a, "Whoa," as I got a glimpse of her living conditions. It made me kind of sad.

"I wash all the clothes by hand in the bathtub, hang them up to dry, and iron them."

"Wow," I didn't know what else to say. "You should charge more."

"Oh yeah? Well maybe I do, you ever think of that?"

"Really?"

Louisa leaned in and whispered, "Depends on if I like the person. You got the best rate, but now that you're workin' your prices went up." And then I spontaneously hugged her and startled us both.

* * * * *

I didn't see William at the library and I was kind of glad because I didn't really want to talk books today. Instead, I was using one of the free computers to find a place where Alicia and I could go salsa dancing. I found one that Carlos and I had gone to a few times that I couldn't remember the location of, then I did a search to see if I could find a good Puerto Rican restaurant to take Alicia to. Casa Adela looked perfect and was right up the street from the dance club, but then I wondered if Alicia would eat that kind of food. It got me thinking, so I Googled eating disorders.

I didn't like what I was reading. In fact, it was scaring me and depressing me, but then I remembered that the internet was probably giving me the worst-case scenario.

"Wonderful." I looked up and saw William standing over me. I saw his eyes glance at the screen. "I've been replaced," he asked, "by a digital apparatus with no intrinsic capacity for discernment?"

"Oh, hey man. Naw, man, not looking for a book, just using the computer."

William paused and looked from me to the screen, "Is this about that pretty blonde, Allison?"

"Alicia."

William pulled up a chair and sat down. "How deep are you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how into this girl are you?"

"Deep," I admitted.

William dragged his hand across the top of his head and took a deep breath. I noticed he was not using his high-brow communication style; he was talking and acting like a regular guy. He had a very concerned look on his face that wasn't making me feel any better, "Well, Ray, I don't know if you have any experience with this, but..." He paused.

"What?"

"It's really just the tip of the iceberg, usually."

I got the feeling William knew what he was talking about and probably not just from reading. "You know how it is, don't you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My sister..." William trailed off.

"Is she okay now?"

"I don't think she'll ever be completely okay, but she's a lot better now. Put our parents through hell, then her poor husband..."

"She's married?" I got hopeful, thinking she must be doing pretty well.

"Yes, she's a mom too, but she had a really really hard time getting pregnant. It took years and the emotional toll was immense."

It sounded to me like everything worked out okay. Besides, I didn't think Alicia seemed that bad off. She must only have a mild case, so I told William so and he laughed.

"Well, I hope so for your sake too. It's tough loving someone who hurts herself."

I sat in silence knowing he was right, but wasn't there something I could I do? "Is there any way I can help her?"

"There are lots of ways to be helpful to her. There are a few ways you could probably make it worse. But ultimately it is up to her. You can't fix this, Ray." William shook his head slowly and thoughtfully. I felt myself sinking and didn't know what to say.

I nodded and sat thinking. Who knew William could be so normal and such a bum-out at the same time? But then he showed that he might be a mind reader when all of a sudden he perked up and reasserted his theatrical style as he said, "My day here is done and I'm famished! I am about to dine at a quaint little Vietnamese establishment that serves divine noodles, would you care to join me?"

"Pho?" I laughed, "Sure, I'm in." It felt really good to have a little money in my pocket and to be able to just say "yes" to an invite, but I was also glad Pho is cheap. I wouldn't want to waste money dining with William when I have a beautiful girlfriend to take on dates. That reminded me, "I'm gonna' go call Alicia real quick and meet you out front."

William went wherever he goes when not in the public eye and I tried calling Alicia, but she didn't answer. I had not heard from her since that early text, but that didn't surprise me since I knew she was studying with her group. I texted her, "Hey beautiful. I'm going to eat Pho with William. Don't be jealous." I meant about the Pho, but I knew there was a bunch of ways she could take that text. I was missing her so I added a second text saying just that.

* * * * *

By the time I got off the subway and walked home, it was after ten o'clock and I still had not heard from Alicia. It was weird that she had not at least sent a text, but I tried not to trip on it. There were many possible reasons: she could have fallen asleep, let her phone die... I tried not to think about it and just go to bed, but I didn't sleep well.

When I woke after a fitful night, I checked my phone first thing and saw a text, but it was from Don telling me what to do at work and that he'd be in later. I texted Alicia again, hoping I wasn't overdoing it, but I was really surprised I had not heard from her yet. My text said, "I will call at lunch. Miss you." I hoped for one of those texts back saying she was busy but missed me too with some of those corny little hearts, but it didn't come.

By lunchtime I really was worried. I called her again, but didn't leave a message. Maybe she had lost her phone? Maybe she wasn't getting texts? I decided to leave a message, "Hey babe, call me when you can." I put my phone on vibrate in my pocket and planned to answer if it rang. I even warned Don that I might get a quick phone call, some important business I needed to handle, and he said, "No problem, just don't make a habit out of it," but my phone never buzzed.

When the longest day of my life finally ended, I knew I wasn't going home. I practically ran to Alicia's apartment to see if she was there. I rang the intercom and didn't get an answer. Then I noticed a piece of paper taped to the intercom. It said "Ray" on the outside and if I hadn't been in such a hurry I would have noticed it before ringing. I snatched it and opened and read, "Alicia doesn't have her phone, you can reach her through me." I was signed, Janice -- Alicia's mom and had a phone number.

This didn't make any sense. Alicia's didn't say her mom was coming from California. That would be a pretty big deal and I think she would have said something, wouldn't she? And why would she leave me a note? There was no time to waste, and I called the number on the paper. She didn't answer, so I left a message pleading with her to call me. I didn't know what to do with myself, if I should go home or wait there or what, so I just started pacing around checking my phone every thirty seconds. I finally made up my mind to walk toward my apartment and that's when my phone rang. It was her mom's number but Alicia's voice asking, "Ray? Did you get the note?" She sounded panicky.

"Yes of course. Tell me, are you okay?"

"Well, yes, sort of. I'm sorry, Ray, I... well, something happened and I didn't have a chance to get my purse or my phone out of my desk drawer at work and oh my god, I didn't even know how to get ahold of you so I made my mom leave that note, and hey there is no Raymond Kelly listed, you know, I sent you a facebook message this morning and..."

"Alicia, where are you? What happened?"

"I'm in the hospital," she whispered. "But I'm okay, don't worry."

"What hospital?"

"Lenox."

"I'm coming down there," I answered, so relieved to hear her voice.

"Wait, Ray, listen, before you do I want to tell you what happened because my mom is not in the room right now and, well, you are going to have to meet her and she's really upset about this and making a huge deal about it when really it isn't..."

I cut her off, "What happened?"

"Well," she whispered, "I fainted at work and someone called 911 and, well, they said I was having a heart attack, but really it was just that my electrolytes were all messed up and I think they just have to take you in when that happens and..."

"A heart attack!" I yelled into the phone.

"Well, yes, that is what they call it but it is really mild, Ray, not like when..."

"I'm on my way." I hung up and started running for the subway station. I was shaking and angry and full of adrenaline. I don't know exactly why I was angry, except my twenty-four-year old girlfriend just informed me that she had a heart attack, but was acting like it was no big deal and for some reason that really pissed me off. But I wanted to be with her as soon as possible and see for myself if she was really okay.

I realized the hospital was not that far, but it would take two subways to get there, so I flagged down a taxi for the first time and told him to get me to Lenox hospital. I swear I could have run there faster, there was so much adrenaline surging through me and my mind was going crazy wondering how the hell Alicia could have a heart attack. So, I asked the cab driver, "You ever hear of a young girl having a heart attack?"

"Yeah, if they have a heart condition or if they're on amphetamines," was his answer. I wished I hadn't asked.

He got me to the hospital and I paid him and jumped out and asked the lady at the front desk where I could find Alica Klaer. She gave me a room number and I skipped the elevator and ran up the stairs. When I walked towards the room I saw a woman on her cell phone who was obviously Alicia's mom and I saw her look at me and say, "I'll call you back." I didn't pause. I walked right into the room and there she was, Alicia sitting up in bed looking completely normal except for the hospital gown and the IV tube in her arm. I hugged her and held her and heaved a sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

I didn't answer. I just looked at her and touched her cheek and kissed her on the lips and stepped back a pace to look at her. She was smiling but looking apologetic at the same time, and I asked, "Tell me what happened."

"I'd better tell you." I turned around and saw Alicia's mom standing in the room. "I'm Janice, Alicia's mom, and you must be Ray."