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Everything's Going to Be Ok

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Copyright 2014, by author Shayshay. If you wish to reproduce this copy, please contact the author for rights and responsibilities.

Much to everyone's surprise, the home office for their paralegal branch had sprung for the airfare and the tickets to the convention, but they were sparing in the accomodations. The rooms were fine, of course, a mid range hotel attached to a convention center complex, but it paled in comparison to the glistening four star that was on the other side of the center's garden walk. In the beginning, corporate , who of course waited until the last minute to book reservations, got them the only two rooms left in the smaller hotel, complete with a king bed in each. Two women and three men meant only two rooms to corporate, who honestly thought it was enough.

Amy didn't mind sharing with her colleague Gina, there were good friends, but they snickered at the thought of the three guys figuring out the sleeping arrangements in their one king bed room.

"They are going to get a whole lot more comfortable with each other," Gina snickered one day during a coffee break. "I bet it would be hot!"

"Gina!!" Amy laughed and smacked her arm. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Amy honestly didn't really care about two of the guys, but she liked Sean. She had liked him from the moment he started with the company. He was funny, kind of quirky, and he made her laugh. Plus he was really smart. While she was happy being a paralegal and working with the everyday folks who came through the door, he was finishing law school and waiting for the bar exam. Thankfully, before the convention week came up, the two other colleagues balked and backed out, leaving Sean with the room to himself. Which initially sounded like a wonderful proposal, right until he walked down the hall to his room.

Two floors up from the ladies, Sean was listening to the incredibly loud partying of a group that was supposed to be in all week, surrounding him on the floor. It was five o'clock in the afternoon when they checked in, and the walls were already shaking. Not a good sign. He went back down to the front desk, hoping a reprieve of another room was possible. No luck. The convention had them beyond sold out, and this group had booked the whole floor first. What could have been a nice respite was looking like a vacation nightmare.

"If they get too loud, sir, we will send up security," the hotel employee said professionally.

"Get loud?" Sean said horrified. "They are already loud. You should hear it up there."

"The noise ordinance doesn't go into effect until 11 pm. I'm sorry, sir."

Sean had given up then. Nothing else to do.

There were people in his hall when he toted his luggage up and they tried to be friendly, but it was no use. His mind was made up. He wandered into the room with a casual, 'See you later," to their greetings, that garnered no response.

Once in the room he grimaced. He hated that smell. That cheap hotel smell; plastics, glue, and years of foot traffic. After a few provisional settling in tasks, he got ready to head to the welcome banquet, by way of anywhere but here. He slid his key into his pocket and walked out into the hallway to head down to the sports bar. He hoped Amy was having better luck with her room situation. She probably was. Gina was pretty cool. Sean pulled out his phone and tapped the screen until Amy's number came up. He was about to call her, then thought better of it. He'd see her at the dinner later. That would be good enough.

At seven o'clock the cocktail hour started. Sean was there at 7:01. It was a nice open bar before the banquet, but most importantly, he was out of his room. It was business casual, the average cocktail party. He felt comfortable in his jacket and dress shirt, unbuttoned at the neck for comfort. He smiled and nodded to people as they walked by, but his face only lit up when Amy came in the door.

She was wearing a dark blue cocktail dress, demure but not dowdy, hair swept up and make up put on. Gina was by her side for a few moments, but scooted away quickly. Gina was dressed for success as one might say. Her black skin tight dress was showing off every curve she worked for in the gym, and paid for during surgery. She did wave to Sean as she passed him by, and he gave her a knowing wink. Clearly, she was on the hunt, and he wished her all the luck in the world. He turned to see Amy approaching him.

"Hey," she smiled.

"Hey," he smiled back. "You look great."

"You think so?" she said with a wrinkle of her nose. "Gina made me buy it. She said I would never land a rich lawyer if I dressed the way I normally do. I told her I didn't want to land a rich lawyer. She told me I was lying."

"Well, you did by the dress," he said with a calculating glance.

Amy laughed and hit him playfully. "It was on sale!"

"Mmmhmm," he said rolling his eyes. "Come on, huntress. Let's get you sat down at our table."

He politely held out his elbow, and with a fake scowl she took it.

"You seem like a gentleman," she mused, "but I'm not so sure."

"Maybe one day, you'll find out." He winked, and she laughed, and suddenly he felt like the richest man in the world.

The seminars the next day were informative, but long. Amy found herself forcing wakefulness more than a couple of times. She chalked it up to have a few drinks the night before at dinner. She wasn't much of a drinker usually, but with Gina around, the alcohol flowed, along with the revolving door of men.

Amy had noticed that while Sean was polite and stayed engaged in the conversations, he restricted himself to soda and eventually just water. She didn't mention it though. It seemed like one of those things that came up at a later date, certainly not to be handled at a convention banquet.

Despite the few dry panels she was forced to attend, she had to hand it to the convention planners. They knew the material was boring, so they planned a few fun events to help pave the way. Last night was the banquet. Tonight was the open bar social and dance. The thought of watching 1500 stuffy paralegals like herself dancing to the greatest 80's hits tore a chuckle from her lips.

The three of them, she, Gina, and Sean, had decided to meet for dinner that night, but a few moments before they were scheduled to meet, Gina caught Amy in the lobby.

"Hey girlfriend," Gina said quickly, with a little bounce. "I'm not going to make it to dinner."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I met a guy last night, and we are ditching this convention and driving north for a little vacay."

"That fast," Amy said matter of factly. "You just met him last night."

"And?"

Amy opened her mouth to say something, then shook her head and thought better of it. "Ok," she said finally. "I ... wish you luck? What is the proper response to this?"

"Congrats, dork," she teased. "So I've got my stuff packed in the car, but ... I wanted to tell you and give you the key..."

Gina pressed the room key into her hand.

"And ask you, if anyone asks where I am, or where I went, especially if it's corporate.... Tell them I had a family thing. Yeah, a family thing. Like a baby, or a marriage, or I don't know, make something up."

Amy laughed and slipped the key in her purse. "You got it. You be careful."

"I will," Gina said with a cluck of her tongue. By the lobby doors a man walked in and warmly called out.

"Gina, honey. Let's get a move on, woman."

She looked back and smiled. "Isn't he cute? Ok, I gotta go."

She hugged Amy tightly. "See you on the flight home!"

And then Gina was gone, just the lingering scent of her overly sprayed perfume was left behind. Amy just stood there and shook her head with a bemused smiled on her face.

Behind her a ways back Sean watched the last end of the encounter, and saw Gina rush out the door towards some man that looked vaguely familiar from the night before. He sauntered up to Amy asking,

"What was that about?"

Amy turned surprised, then seeing Sean shrugged her shoulders. "Well.... Gina won't be joining us for dinner."

"Oh?" he said confused. Then suddenly two and two clicked in his mind. He pointed at the empty lobby doors. "Ohhhhh. You mean she and ...."

"Yeah. So we're on our own."

"Two for dinner suits me, just fine."

After dinner they made their way to the social, more out of curiosity than desire to engage anyone else. Sure enough, the lights were dim, the disco ball was shimmering, and a DJ in the back corner played the hits of the 80's and 90's, with a far too enthusiastic attempt at scratching at an old turntable. When he realized people were doing more drinking than dancing, he switched gears and just played music.

Sean and Amy sat at a back table, not far from the entrance, sipping on drinks and enjoying a few laughs at the DJ's expense. Sean politely got Amy whatever she wanted from the bar, tonight being a Peach Schnapps brandy, but he always returned with a soft drink for himself. They laughed and talked for over an hour, when there was a lull in the conversation and Amy felt Sean's eyes on her.

Sean was smiling at her across the table in a secretive sort of way. Amy caught the glance and smiled back cautiously.

"What?" she asked.

"Would you like to dance?" he asked gesturing to the dance floor. Amy's eyes got wide suddenly and a nervous laugh escaped her lips.

"I'm not a very good dancer," she protested.

"It will be fine. It's pretty slow and I promise, no waltzes or jitterbugs."

He smiled sweetly again and she couldn't resist. Nodding quickly she stood up. Sean took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Once there he pulled her in close and slid his arm around her waist. Amy rested her palm in his, letting her other hand roll gently up his shoulder. He smiled at her quietly and brought his face close to the side of her head so they could talk.

Amy breathed a soft laugh. "This pace is good," she said.

"See, I told you."

"Thank you," she sighed, laying her head on the side of his shoulder. "This is really nice."

"You're welcome," he murmured back.

It had been a long time since he had held a woman in his arms. Years. Many years. He was surprised it came so naturally to him again. And he had his reservations about it. He knew he wasn't ready for a relationship, knew he wasn't even ready for this light flirtation, but it felt so good with her in his arms. Her warm breath on his neck, her soft body pressed lightly against his. Even her fingers felt enticing in his hand.

He spun her around and felt her smile and giggle as she countered and moved with him. God, that sound. He pressed his hand more firmly in her back and turned her again. She gripped his shoulder more and smiled again. That feeling. It made him quiver to think that she was enjoying this as much as he was. He lost himself in the feeling, sighing quietly. Sean opened his eyes slightly, noticing the exposed curve of her neck below him. That soft skin. If he kissed it, she would shiver too. His lips ached to taste that perfumed bare skin. Before he knew it, his head was dipping slowly to her. So close. So very close.

Milimeters away his eyes snapped open. What was he doing. Catching his breath quickly he panted lightly as his head shot up. Amy felt him stiffen in her arms suddenly and looked up. Sean was looking nervous and scared, visibly shaken.

"Hey," she whispered. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he said with a shake of his head and a fake smile. "Listen, you don't have to dance anymore, if you don't want to."

Amy looked up in confusion. "Sean, what's wrong? That was ... great. Everything was good. Wasn't it?"

Sean nodded and gave a weak smile as he backed away. "Yeah it was great. I just ... I need a little air. I'm sorry."

He hurried off the floor, leaving Amy standing in confusion. He looked back once, mouthing the words 'I'm sorry' once again, then disappeared out of the ballroom door.

Amy was in shock. What had just happened? Did she do something? Or not do something? No one around seemed to noticed anything odd. The music blared all around. So, it must have been something with them. She was determined to figure out what. Hurrying out the door she followed his path.

He had turned right. That way led to a set of double doors where the koi ponds and gardens were in the center of the convention center compound. He said he needed air. She pushed the doors open and felt the cool night hit her. It did feel nice. Only the path lights and the moon lit the way, but it was enough. Silvery light bounced off the foliage around her, making even the bright flowers by the ponds see shimmery and translucent. She walked slowly, her heels thudding softly on the concrete pathway, eyes scanning around her. She almost gave up on finding him, when she rounded the last corner and saw a shimmer of a shoe in the light to her left. Peering around, he was there, sitting on bench by a koi pond. He had one leg slung across the other, and he was leaned back, one hand propped up his head, eyes closed.

Amy let her feet carry her onto the dewy grass slowly. When she was a few feet away, she softly announced her presence.

"Hey," she said lightly.

Sean's head shot up at the sound of her voice. He looked over at her in surprise, for a moment feeling his breath catch in his chest. Slowly lowering his leg, he faced her.

"Hey there," he breathed. The shock in his voice was obvious.

Amy clasped her hands in front of her politely. "Do you mind if I sit down?"

"No, no. Of course not," he said quickly, gesturing the other side of the bench.

"Thank you," she murmured scooting past him. She sat on the edge gingerly and looked over at him with a concerned frown.

"Sean," she asked softly, "what's wrong?"

"I just needed some air," he lied with a half smile. "Just some air."

Amy pursed her lips and wiggled them in an almost bunny-like way. He head shook gently. "That's a lie, and you and I both know that."

He sighed and looked down at the ground, gazing off toward the pond, not knowing how to answer her.

"Sean...," she probed again. "Sean-"

"Amy," he groaned with exasperation. He looked off in the distance and shook his head. Amy sighed quietly to herself and nodded. She could take a hint. With a sad smile she reached out and patted his hand warmly. When he felt her cool fingers on his hand the sensation shot up his arm like an electric charge. He breathed out rough, shuddering breath.

"It's ok," she nodded. "I get it. I'll go back inside."

To his shock she stood up and started to walk across his field of view.

"Don't stay out to long," she murmured. "It's getting cold."

"No," he said quickly, his arm shooting out to catch her hand. Amy stopped short. Sean looked up at her with eyes she swore were shimmering with tears. "Please stay."

Her heart melted when she looked down at him. Without thought she reached out and caressed the side of his face. Sean's eyes closed and he leaned in briefly. Wordlessly she sat down next to him again, kicking off her shoes. She scooted back on the bench and curled her feet up under her. He turned slowly to face her.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" she asked.

Sean nodded silently.

"Why did you leave?"

With a far of look he started to talk. It was easier if he didn't look at her.

"I ... I was afraid of getting carried away," he began. "Things we so nice. So good. And you looked so ... I was afraid of doing something you wouldn't like and pushing you away."

"Oh Sean," she chuckled sadly. "What could you do that I wouldn't like? I was having a nice time."

"Oh like kissing your neck maybe," he burst out sarcastically.

Amy tilted her head and smiled. "You never asked."

Sean's eyes darted to her suddenly. Amy smiled back. "You assumed I wouldn't have liked that. Right then... I would have loved it."

"What?" he exclaimed. "You would have?"

"Well of course I would have. We were dancing, quite well I might add, and it was romantic. Dim lights, slow music. If you would have done that it would have been so sweet."

Despite her smile, Sean laughed at himself and looked away. "Of course, it would have been. I fuck everything up."

"I wouldn't say that," she protested. "You mis-read a cue, that's all."

"No Amy," he breathed and looked over at her. His eyes were sad and dark. "You don't understand. I'm really fucked up."

"No ..."

"Yeah," he confirmed sadly. "I'm ... I'm just a ... a mess. I am terrible with women, I can't relate in social situations."

"Sean you were doing fine," she smiled.

"No I wasn't," he denied. "I always mess things up with women. I always say something, or do something, or act in a ....."

Amy watched him trail off, and she could feel the memories welling up in him. She took his hand and watched his eyes close again.

"You can tell me if you want to," she murmured. "Or not."

He seemed to mull it over a moment then a deep breath filled his lungs.

"Four years ago, I fell in love with this girl," he began. "She was perfect. I mean, not perfect as in flawless, just ... perfect. She didn't know I was in love with her. We were friends first, and it just sort of happened. One night I decided to tell her, how I felt, and I was so thrilled when she said she felt the same way. We started a relationship, and I was never happier. We weren't plastered to each other, but we were together at least two or three nights a week. We both were working and had lives.

"Then one day I stopped by her house, to surprise her. Like a dork I brought flowers and candy. I don't know, I guess I thought it would be old fashioned and romantic. I knocked on her apartment door, and a man answered. He wasn't rude, he wasn't weird. He just answered with a smile. I asked if my Jeanie was there. He said, sure and invited me in. Calling for her from the back. She walked out and looked as if she had seen a ghost. The man was a bit confused, but to his credit, he was calm. I think I knew what was happening, but I didn't say anything. I put her gifts on the table, told her I brought those for her, and I left.

"She texted me later, angry I had come by unannounced. I responded the same way, asking her who the man was. He was her fiancé, you see. He was away on work a lot, a traveling kind of guy. When I asked about our relationship she told me I was just a fuck buddy. If I had read more into it, then that was my fault. At first I was so angry. I hated her, hated him, hated myself. Then I just got sad. I missed her. I missed our time, our life, the feeling of the future I had when she was in my arms. I tried to contact her. She ignored me. The more she ignored me, the harder I tried. The harder I tried and failed, the more depressed I got.

"I drank myself into a stupor every night. I quit working. Eventually my family intervened and I went to a treatment center, and got my head on straight enough to work, maybe hang out with friends, but ... I was never really the same. Every girl I tried to date I just wanted her to be Jeanie. They weren't of course, and I'd fuck it up somehow. Eventually, I realized it was better just to not deal with it at all. No women, not complications, no worries, no pain."

Sean looked over at her sadly. "Until I met you."

Amy frowned and gave a depressed sigh. He squeezed her hand quickly. "No, I don't mean you caused me worries and pain. Not at all. What I mean to say is, I was able to talk to you. Work with you. I enjoyed your company, and when we would have lunch together. I was glad we were coming to this convention together. I thought how fun it would be to hang out with you. And it was."

A bright smile crossed Amy's face and her small fingers squeezed his with happiness.

"Yeah," she agreed.

"I just didn't...... I didn't know I felt that way about you until we were dancing."

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